Broken: A Bad Boy Romance, page 10
"Now, I've got a couple more problems, Sunshine," Theo growls.
The sound makes my stomach clench. And Sunshine? What is up with that new nickname? And why do I like it so much?
"First, I'm giving you a ride home. You really think I would let you get into a stranger's backseat? Nah. Second, you trying to leave without giving me a proper goodbye? What's that all about?"
"A proper goodbye?"
Against my best judgment, dirty thoughts race through my mind. With Theo pressed against me like this, I think of pressing my lips to his. Maybe that's what he means by a proper goodbye? My heart races, and every part of my body feels tingly.
"Yea," Theo smirks. "After last night, you're just going to leave? No hug? No cuddles? You're killing me, Sunshine."
I flush, and his smirk deepens. He can tell that he's got me, even against all of my best efforts.
"Okay, if I give you a hug, will you take me home?" I ask.
Theo shrugs his shoulders. "You sure you really want to go home?"
"I have to."
Both of us realize I didn't answer the question, but Theo doesn't push it.
Before I can prepare myself, Theo wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest. I wrap my arms tentatively around his back.
"Oh, come on. What kind of hug is that?" Theo chides.
He pulls me against him tighter, and it feels so good that I can't help but sink into his arms. I feel stupid, but I've missed how good a simple hug can feel. Especially when it's not charged with pity or sadness. I enjoy it too much.
"Okay, now I can take you home," Theo murmurs, right against my ear.
His hot breath against my neck sends shivers down my spine. All too soon, Theo steps back and grabs his keys out of the dish before shoving his feet into a pair of black sneakers. We head back to the elevator and into the fancy lobby. A different man, dressed in an equally nice suit, greets us from behind the counter as we leave.
"You wanna take the motorcycle or the Benz this morning?" Theo asks.
"The car. If my parents are up, that'll make them less mad."
"Okay, it's in the garage underground."
Theo threads his fingers through mine and leads us to the underground parking. Each spot has a different expensive car, but Theo's Mercedes is clearly the flashiest and nicest looking car in the garage.
Theo lets go of my hand to open my door for me. The sweet gesture gives me butterflies. Never once when I saw Theo on TV did I think he would be the type to open car doors. All of his tattoos and leather jackets scream the opposite.
Once inside, I take in the expensive interior. It's definitely the nicest car I've ever been in. Hunter told me one time about how she rode around in a Mercedes with a group of people she met at a rave. It makes me feel something to have an experience similar to her.
"What are you thinking about, Sunshine?" Theo asks, backing out of the spot.
Once we are on the road, he pulls into the left lane, clearly remembering the directions to my house, even though he's only been there a couple of times.
"I'm just thinking of Hunter."
For some reason, I know that I don't have to lie to Theo when she crosses my mind. With everyone else, I know that talking about Hunter either makes them uncomfortable and sad. Sometimes both. But with Theo, I know that he can relate. And I like hearing him talk about Eddie like I talk about Hunter.
"What were you thinking of about her?"
I smile, thinking of the memory. Hunter's hair was pale blue at the time. It was the summer before our junior year of high school.
"Hunter FaceTimed me late one night a couple of summers ago. She was at a rave, and she was telling me about the first G-Wagon she was in. She was in love with the idea of getting one."
Theo looks at me knowingly. "This was Eddie's old Benz," he confesses. "After he died, I couldn't stand to look at it for like eight months. But one day, I just missed him so badly. Now, it feels like every time I drive this car, it's like he's here with me or something."
"Yea, I know what you mean," I say, thinking of Hunter's pink bomber jacket.
I appreciate how nice it is that we don't have to explain those feelings to each other.
We both just know.
* * *
When Theo pulls up next to the curb in front of my house, I don't want to get out. Even though I know I need to.
Theo kills the engine. We both just sit there for a couple of minutes, neither of us saying anything until Theo clears his throat.
"What are you doing tonight?" he asks.
I know that I should come up with something. I shouldn't make hanging out with Theodore Fitzgerald a habit, but when his dark eyes pierce mine, I know that I can't lie to him.
"Nothing," I answer honestly.
Theo smiles. "Good, you're coming out with me and my friends." He nods to himself as if he's clarifying with himself what the plan will be.
I laugh. "That's not really how making plans work," I point out.
Theo shrugs. "It's how it's working tonight. I'll pick you up at eight."
My mouth hangs open. I can't believe his easy dominant attitude. I know I should say no, but I can't. A part of me wants to see him tonight too.
"What are we going to do?" I ask.
"You'll see," Theo smiles. "You should probably head inside, though. Your mom doesn't look happy."
I turn and follow his gaze. He's right. My mom is out on the porch, still dressed in her pajamas. I can feel the heat in her glare even from all the way over here.
"Okay, well, I'll see you later, then," I say, scrambling with the lock on my door.
I get it open, but before I can step out, Theo loops his arm around my waist again.
"Didn't you learn from yesterday? We don't do goodbyes like that."
And before I can protest, he wraps his arms tight around me again, nuzzling his face into my neck. For a second, I forget to breathe. I want to relax in his arms and enjoy the hug like my body is begging me to, but I can feel my mom's eyes burning into my back.
"I'll see you later," I breathe, jerking out of Theo's grip and out the door.
I almost fall over, but I catch myself on the door, shutting it firmly behind me as I start up my driveway. The butterflies in my stomach make the glare my mom gives me worth it.
19
THEO
I make sure Sophia gets up the driveway before I rev my engine and take off. I start the drive back to James'. On the way, I realize that this is the most I've greeted a morning in a long time. I also know that it's entirely because of Sophia.
I think back to what I wrote to Eddie this morning. Sophia really must have cast a spell over me. Usually, I hate mornings. Always did, even before Eddie. But today, I can't keep the smile off my face.
I don't know what the hell these feelings are. I've never felt this drawn to someone. Ever.
Sure, I've pretended to be this interested for some pussy, but this. This feels like a whole new level. I want to be around Sophia more than I've wanted anything this past year. And we haven't even slept together yet.
When I pull up in the driveway, Gunther and Crow are outside smoking and having their morning coffees. They turn their ugly eyes on me as I pull up. I flip both of them off before I turn my car off and walk indoors. I can't wait for the day that I never see either of them again, even though I know what it'll mean when that day comes.
"Good morning, Theodore," James greets from behind the island.
He's leaned up against the counters, taking slow sips from his mug. The smug expression he wears pisses me off, but not to the extent that it usually does. More confirmation that whatever Sophia is, it's sure as fuck not normal.
Instead of quipping back like I normally do, I head back to Mom.
When I step into her room, Mom's face brightens. She's wearing an orange sweater she crocheted herself and fuzzy leggings. Even she seems happier this morning. I kiss her cheek before sitting in the chair next to her.
"Rosalyn's just preparing my breakfast and morning medication before she leaves," Mom says, answering my question before I can ask.
I nod. Nothing ever gets past her.
"How are you feeling?" I ask. I scan her over.
I don't know what I'm searching for. New lines of exhaustion under her eyes? A paler complexion? I know that there isn't really a point. She's only going to get worse; that's what hospice means. Old habit, I guess.
Mom grabs my hand. Her fingers feel like ice, even though it's stifling in here, and she's layered under three blankets.
"Oh, you know, just peachy," she jokes.
She smiles, and I can see a flash of her from my childhood. Before she got sick. Before James came into the picture. In those times, it was her, me, Eddie, and Luca, my real father. We were a happy little family.
When I was growing up, I thought it would always be that way — two happy, smiling, healthy parents that I loved and an older brother who constantly got on my nerves, but I still loved.
Kind of crazy to realize how fucked up things have gotten between then and now. Mom and I are the only two left. And soon, it's just going to be me. For some reason, my family has always had a target painted on its back.
"You're here later than usual this morning," Mom comments. She looks at me with a mischievous smile. I'll take it, even if it does mean she's going to meddle. Better than her looking sad.
"I woke up late this morning," I shrug, teasing her by drawing out the information she wants to know.
Mom chuckles and playfully smacks my chest. "Theodore Fitzgerald, don't you go holding out on me. This is the first time in a year that you've walked through those doors, looking, dare I say…happy? And you're going to deny me knowing what has you looking so cheery this morning?"
She pouts, and I chuckle with her. She looks like she's about to go on, but Rosalyn comes in with a tray filled with food and a small plastic cup full of pills.
"Rosalyn, you know I'm never going to be able to eat all that," Mom complains as she sets it on her table.
Rosalyn giggles and hands Mom the paper cup. Mom shudders as she chokes back the five large pills.
"Rosa was feeling in the baking mood this morning," Rosalyn smiles, gesturing to all of the pastries lining the right side of Mom's tray. There are more substantial things on the left: a heaping pile of scrambled eggs, two slices of bacon, and three thick slices of fresh toast. Even before Mom got sick, she never would have eaten this much. Good thing I'm here. Sunshine and I never ate last night.
"Well, I'm going to have to send my thanks to Rosa before I head out," I say, reaching for the other set of silverware on the tray.
Mom chuckles, and I hand her her fork before I start slicing the french toast. Even though Mom would never say it, I know that little things, like cutting french toast, can take a lot out of her. I want to make sure she can use more of her energy for eating, which actually matters.
"Anything else that I can get for you before I give Terri report and head out, Amelia?"
Mom shakes her head, but just as she does, I hear something catch in her throat. Before either Rosalyn or I can do anything, Mom starts retching and beating on the front of her chest with her tiny hand. Each cough racks through her entire body. The blankets fall away, and I notice that all of her ribs are visible and prominent.
Mom waves my hand away when I try to help her by patting her back. Instead, she grips my hand. Rosalyn takes her other hand, and we both try to comfort Mom best we can. When the coughing fit stops, Mom reaches for a tissue. I hand her one, and when she puts it back on the tray, it's covered in blood.
"I'm fine, Theo," Mom murmurs weakly. She must be able to see how worried I look.
"I'll make sure that I let Terri know about this in report. We might have to contact the doctors and see if there are different medications we should be putting you on. And we can get you something for nausea if you'd like?" Rosalyn offers.
"That's alright. I'm alright. Thank you, Rosalyn. You have a good day," Mom says, trying to smile. It looks more pained than genuine, but Mom's always been the person to want to make sure other people feel okay, even if she feels like shit.
Rosalyn squeezes Mom's fingers once more. I can see the genuine care and concern in her eyes. "I'll see you tonight. Alright, Amelia?"
Mom nods and waves her out of the room. When Rosalyn's gone, Mom coughs a couple more times and wipes more blood out of her mouth.
"Sorry you have to see this, Theo," she murmurs. I can tell that me being here to witness it bothers her more than the pain of coughing up blood.
"Don't apologize, Mom."
I cover her back up with the blankets. She shivers when I wrap them around her shoulders. I wonder if I could get her another space heater. She already has two, but clearly, that's not good enough.
"I always hated that you boys grew up seeing me sick. Always made me feel awful. Eddie, he was always so worried. It was like the sicker I got, the sicker he would get too. And I hate when you see me have episodes like that."
"You're my Momma," I say, squeezing her hand. "I'm going to be here for you and love you no matter what."
Mom smiles, but it's not the same as when I first came into the room. She's back to looking sad, and I hate it.
"Hey, you know what you were asking about earlier?" I ask, trying to cheer her up. "About why I looked so happy?"
Mom perks up, which makes me feel better. I wasn't planning on telling her about Sophia yet, but I couldn't stand seeing her mood fall.
"Yes, tell me what you were up to!" Mom says.
"Well, I was with this girl," I start.
Mom's expression sours. I can tell it's because she thinks Sophia is just like all of the other girls I've used for numbing and one-night stands. I'm quick to clear it up for her.
"Not like that, Mom," I say, "first, ew, I would never talk to you about that kind of stuff. Second, this girl. She's different."
Mom looks over my face. Before I know it, she's tearing up.
"Mom, what's wrong?" I demand.
I know Dr. Domeyer's number by heart. If it's pain or something else, I'll call him and demand that he get us stronger stuff.
Mom waves at me to sit back down, but a couple of tears fall down her cheeks. "I'm just happy to see you looking so happy," she says, squeezing my hand.
I can tell how much it means to her, so I go on. Telling her about Sophia and how we started talking. I tell her about how she's been through a pain similar to ours and how it helps. Mom ends up crying more of happiness. I can tell that it means a lot to her.
And again, I think that the only logical explanation is if Eddie is out there somewhere, orchestrating all of this.
* * *
"So, what are your plans for tonight?" Mom asks, clicking off the television.
It's later in the afternoon. After breakfast, I hauled in the TV that waits in the living room to make room for the medical equipment. Mom and I reclined back in our chairs to watch some of our favorite family movies from when I was younger. I can tell that Mom's tired, though, so I know this is her way of segueing me out so that she can get some rest.
"I was thinking of getting together with the boys and bringing Sophia out tonight," I say, which earns me the smile I was hoping it would.
"And what do you think all of you will be doing?"
"Probably go to Ambrosia."
Mom gasps, appalled. "Theodore Fitzgerald, you cannot seriously be telling me that you are thinking about taking a girl you're interested in to a club."
I chuckle at how appalled she is, but a part of me wonders. Maybe she's right. Maybe Sophia will hate this entire night out. But I just have a feeling. I saw the way she eyed my piano when I brought her over, and everything about her screams like she needs a fun night out. Getting messed up enough so that she can feel the relief of forgetting for a while. And if things go along with my plan, we'll end up forgetting together.
"I can tell that she needs a night out, Mom," I say.
Mom's face grows serious. I told her about Sophia's loss, and so she gets it.
"Well, you be safe tonight. And tomorrow, you better bring me good stories."
I laugh, reaching over to wrap her in a hug just as she lets out a big yawn. Terri comes back into the room with Mom's afternoon medications in a cup.
"And you better tell your friends to come over and visit me sometime. It's been way too long since I've seen all you boys together."
I smile. I know that all of them would be more than happy to oblige. I add that to my list of things to do.
"Love you, Mom," I say, kissing her on the head.
"Love you more, Theodore."
When I get in the kitchen, James is standing in the middle with Gunther and Crow at his sides.
"Heading out, Theodore?" James asks.
"I guess it would seem that way."
"Yes, I suppose so. Got to get ready for tonight, huh?" James' eyes twinkle, and I realize what he's getting at.
Immediately, ice floods my veins, and my knuckles are begging to beat his smug face.
"With Sophia, right? That's her name?"
"Don't you dare say her name again," I growl.
James chuckles and looks at Gunther and Crow. "Oo, looks like we struck a nerve, right boys?"
"Yea, boss. Guess Theo's got himself a little crush," Gunther crows.
I move so that I'm only a foot from James. Gunther and Crow snarl at me with each step I take, but I don't stop until I am towering over James. I still remember the day when I started towering over him versus the other way around. That's when Gunther and Crow came into the picture. He knows that without them, I could beat his ass.
"You do anything to her," I start, looking him dead in the eyes, "and I will rearrange your face so that you can never make another public appearance again."
That would hurt his vain heart more than death.
James tries to chuckle and play it off like he's not really scared of me, but I can tell that it's all bullshit for Gunther and Crow. Even with them, I know that if they were to do anything to hurt Sophia, I would go through all three of them. The thought of them touching Sophia makes me see red.
