Infinity's End: Books 4-6, page 41
Shielding her eyes, she approached him. “How can you stand to stare into it like that?” she asked.
“It all looks the same to me,” he replied.
“Sesster, I’m sorry. I should have told you. But I’d be lying if I thought it was a good idea. What happened? Did Zenfor let it slip?”
He turned to her. “Do not blame Zenfor. She was only being honest with me.”
“I’m not,” Evie replied, her hands out, supplicant. “I just mean I should have been the one to tell you, not her. It’s my duty as your commanding officer to make sure my crew is informed about our missions.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” His blank eyes bored into her.
“Greene and I considered it, even though we were under orders not to speak about it to anyone. But we thought if you knew you’d feel obligated to tell your people back on Claxia Prime. And once word got out what the humans had done, it would set off a chain reaction that could result in a rift spreading throughout the Coalition. With the Sargans pressing in on one side and this unknown threat on the other, we decided it wasn’t the best time.”
His nostrils flared. “You decided. You thought it would be more convenient to leave me in the dark,” he said, his voice louder than she’d ever heard it.
“Yes,” she replied. “For the time being.” He made a sound of disgust and turned away from her. “I was a willing participant in this coverup, I know that now. But when we made the decision I thought I was doing it to protect the Coalition. But I get it now. The cracks of division were already there, otherwise Rutledge and the others would have informed the Council and there would have been a vote on the matter. But he knew it would never happen and he was paranoid about the very kind of threat we’re facing right now. I didn’t come up with the idea and I didn’t initiate it, but I helped cover it up. It shouldn’t have happened and I’m sorry.”
Sesster kept his back to her, and she noticed his back rising and falling indicating deep, measured breaths. “It’s illegal,” he finally said.
“I know. Rutledge has already been punished. The others—they’re too high up.”
“How many others?”
She shook her head. It was a question she wished she could answer herself. “I don’t know. But I think it goes to the top. Or at least close. Cas thinks some of the people at his hearing knew.”
He turned back to her; his white eyes locked on her own. “I can feel your guilt and remorse so I know it’s real, but I don’t know if this is something I can forgive. I don’t know that I can trust you again.”
She took a few steps closer to him, the heat really beating down on her, but at the moment she didn’t care. “I know I failed you. It should have been the first thing I did as captain; issue a general alert and inform the crew. Even though I was under orders, I should have spoken out. Greene seemed to think it was best we sit on it but…I’m not sure he was right about that.” Greene was a great captain, one of the best, but it didn’t mean he was infallible. Maybe that’s where she had gone wrong: to think this man could make no mistake, that he would never take the incorrect path. Because as much as she wanted to live up to his legacy, she didn’t want to hide things from her crew, even if they could be damaging to the Coalition. She needed to keep her crew’s trust, and the only way to do that was to be completely honest with them. About all of it.
“You already know my deepest secrets; you have to know that I trust you otherwise I never would have continued these sessions. You know more about my past than anyone on this ship; probably anyone alive. Please believe me when I say I trust you, implicitly.”
He stared at her. “Captain, I—” He took a breath, looked up, then reset himself and stared at her again. “You may not be completely at fault. I think I may have also been willfully ignorant about this issue.”
“What do you mean?”
“When Caspian first came aboard I could sense he was holding something back. I could have seen it, but I chose not to, I chose to pull back so he wouldn’t have to show it to me. I sensed it was something personal and dark, but also potentially damaging for innocent people. At the time I thought it would be better not to know.”
“And now?” She squinted. If they didn’t get out of the sun soon her skin was going to catch on fire.
“Now I’d rather know the horrible truth, than a convenient lie.”
“I will be issuing a ship-wide announcement as soon as these Bulaq are off the ship. This is something the entire crew deserves to know, damn the Coalition’s orders. I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to see that. But before I can do that, we have to do something about our visitors. We’ve discovered they may be working to undermine us, and I can’t allow them to disable this ship, whatever their reasons. Will you help me?”
Her surroundings melted away again, revealing Engineering around her as she stared up at the giant Claxian. The sun was gone, though the sweat on her forehead and tingle on her skin remained, as if she’d really been out in that sun. One of Sesster’s appendages lifted up to “look” at her. I will help you, captain. It is my job.
“Thank you,” she replied. “Just…thank you.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Cas took a deep breath and tapped the button beside the door. There was no response. He tapped it again but there was nothing. Using the override codes entered his mind until he remembered they were offline. And even if they weren’t, he couldn’t barge in on her. But he had to make this right. Without Zenfor’s help, he seriously doubted their ability to get back to Coalition space. They were already down almost a fifth of the crew.
Instead of tapping the button again he pounded on the door. He should have brought Box down here with him; he could have made plenty of noise. On his fourth round of bangs just when he thought his hand might break from how hard he was going at it, the doors slid open, causing him to miss the last hit and topple forward. Zenfor caught his fist in her hand and pushed him back with a shove hard enough to cause him to almost lose his balance in the other direction.
“I am getting sick of finding you unannounced at my doorstep,” she said.
“Let me explain this,” he pleaded, not crossing the threshold of her room.
She only stared at him; her nostrils flaring. “What’s there to explain? You hid the mission—against my people—from your own. It speaks volumes about your trustworthiness.”
“Yes, I made the conscious decision not to tell Sesster. As did Evie and Greene. Imagine if he had known before we returned to Sil space to speak with you. We never would have made it. There would have been a formal inquiry and it would have been all over the media outlets. And these things would still be out here and on their way to the Coalition, with nothing between them and trillions of lives. It all would have been buried. We didn’t tell him not because we couldn’t trust him, but because we trusted him too much to do the right thing. Humans are fallible, Claxians aren’t.”
Her features softened. “He spoke of that to me. How you all look to the Claxians for guidance. You place them on pedestals. You should have told him; you might be surprised at the outcome.”
“Maybe. And I know it was wrong. Trust me, I absolutely know. But what I find more interesting about all this is you.” He braced himself. He never could be quite sure when a hit was coming, and he didn’t want to be caught off-guard again.
“Me.” Not quite a question and not quite a statement either. Though her features had grown dark.
“I remember a time when the internal politics of the Coalition didn’t mean jack shit to you. You couldn’t have cared less. And now you’re up in arms over us not divulging classified information.”
“It’s different,” she replied. “This is about trust between your crewmates. On my ship we don’t keep secrets, it isn’t efficient. The ship functions better as a whole if the crew is informed.”
He stood his ground. “And what happens if the information is dangerous? What if you knew something that other Sil didn’t want you to know? Would you still tell the crew? Would you put their lives in jeopardy for the sake of efficiency?”
She made a sound of disgust in her throat. “Our society doesn’t work like that. The Sanctuary doesn’t keep secrets from us. Everything is out in the open.”
He scoffed. “I used to think the exact same thing about the Coalition.”
Zenfor stomped into her room. “Why must everyone keep questioning me?” She slammed her hand down on the table in front of her, leaving a fist-sized dent in the metal. Cas remained at the threshold. “Well, are you coming in or are you going to stand there gawking?”
He stepped inside; the door sliding closed behind her. It was darker in here; she’d turned down the luminosity of the lights about sixty percent. He supposed it reminded her of the darkness of the Sil ships.
“I am so tired of this,” she finally said. “I am tired of being here, of being away from my people. I never thought—”
“That it would be this hard?” Cas offered.
“I’m not afraid of hard.” She slumped down in one of the chairs. “It’s all this breathing, sleeping, and eating. It’s exhausting. It’s a wonder you people get anything done in your day. Most of your time is dedicated to personal maintenance; to make sure your bodies don’t seize up on you.”
He approached cautiously. “I still can’t believe you stay in those suits all the time. Don’t your people ever get tired of that?”
She made a hand gesture Cas didn’t recognize. He wasn’t sure if it was a rude symbol to him or something unrelated. He tried not to think about it too hard. “The suits are a requirement for military service, not the civilian population, though some still wear them outside of the ships. Usually they’re veterans but there will be the odd experimenter. Children obviously don’t know the ease yet. We do all the things you do; I haven’t done them for a very long time. And when I did remove it, I would have been in comfortable settings surrounded by those I know. Becoming consul determined my life. And I am dedicated to it until the day I die or am forced to retire.”
“You’re homesick,” Cas said, his voice softer.
“If that means what I think it means then yes. I miss my people. Here things are…lonely.”
“And you found a kindred spirit in Sesster. Someone else who is cut off from his own people. That’s why you’re so upset.” She only glared at him with her gray eyes. He’d had it wrong. She wasn’t going rogue; she was upset because they had hurt someone she cared about. Maybe the only person she cared about on the ship.
Cas’s comm beeped. “Robeaux here.”
“Cas, Laura just commed me. We’re missing two Bulaq. We need to get these people off this ship before they sabotage us to the point we can’t function anymore. Go get Vrij out of jail, he might be the only one of them we can trust. See if he can come up with some way to help us.”
“How’s Sesster?” Cas asked.
“I think we’ve reached an understanding. We’ll deal with that later. For now, meet Laura down in the brig.”
“Acknowledged,” Cas replied, cutting his comm. He turned to Zenfor. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
Cas huffed. “Are you going to help us get these guys off this ship or not?”
“Why should I help you? You’re the one who was stupid enough to bring them aboard.”
“Because we needed the materials. If you have a better idea of how I should have handled—”
“Of course I do. You should have taken what you needed and blown their shuttle to ash.” She smirked.
“That’s not how we do things.” Though he had to admit the thought had crossed his mind.
“Even with the evidence of what they’ve been doing in is staring you in the face, you’re not willing to see what’s really going on here. Those attacks weren’t random. They were designed to make you desperate. So desperate you’d do anything to get what you needed for your repairs.”
Cas went cold. What if she was right? What if Diamant had been behind the strafing attacks and it had all been a ploy to get them to approach him for the materials they needed? “Shit,” he said. “Why didn’t you say something before?” He ran for the door.
“I can’t do everything on this ship myself. If you haven’t noticed I’ve been busy trying to repair the engines!” She stood, a scowl on her face.
“Look, if you want to hit me, it’s going to have to wait. I need to get Vrij out of jail. In the meantime—”
“In the meantime, I’ll go back to Engineering and figure out a way to trap all these bastards right where they are,” she replied.
“That works for me.” It wasn’t a full reversal, but it was as good as Cas was going to get from her. He only hoped Evie had made some real progress with Sesster. He might be the only person that could keep Zenfor from tearing the ship apart in frustration. Though it would be interesting to unleash her on the Bulaq ship. See what Diamant thought about that.
Seven and a half minutes later Cas walked into the brig to find Lieutenant Yamashita and Crewman Tes staring at Vrij through the barrier. Laura glanced back as Cas entered, her arms crossed and a sour look on her face.
“Are we sure this is a good idea?” she asked.
“The captain thinks it is, so this is what we’re doing,” Cas replied. Vrij had been right about Diamant. And if he’d been helping Lu’mat out on the hull, he’d done a poor job of hiding his involvement.
“H-he betrayed y-ou, d-didn’t he?” Vrij said as Cas approached.
“Not yet. And we’re not going to give him the opportunity. We found other indications the Bulaq were out on the hull, and two are missing at the moment.”
“U-undercarriage,” Vrij replied.
“What does that mean?”
“I think he means underneath the ship,” Laura replied.
Cas eyed him. “What would they be doing down there?”
“Y-your lower s-security systems. They’ll t-take those offline f-first. If h-he’s p-planning something, h-he’ll want to m-make sure the b-backups—the backups are o-off.” Vrij winced, as if telling Cas this information hurt him.
“Fuck,” Cas said. The security overrides. They were controlled by the backup control systems. Diamant’s people must have already gotten to them. But how were they getting on the outside of the ship?
He walked over to the control panel, tapping the top drawer. Inside was Vrij’s belt containing his skin curtains as he called them. “Get him out of there,” Cas said to Crewman Tes, grabbing all the remaining canisters.
She nodded and released the barrier. Vrij stepped forward. “T-thank you.” Cas tossed him the belt with his equipment, which Vrij replaced around his waist.
Laura’s eyes narrowed. “Now what?”
“Now we get to Engineering without running into any of Diamant’s people,” Cas replied. He nodded to Tes. “Get me a secure channel to Zaal.”
Her face twisted as she inputted the controls. “Looks like some of the security protocols are offline,” she said. “That’s not right.”
“Damn, he’s moving fast.” Cas glanced at Laura and Vrij. “Let’s get going. We’ve only got one level to go. Even if they are under escort, running into any of the Bulaq could trigger Diamant’s plan when they see Vrij out of jail. We can’t show our hand yet so stay alert.” He returned his attention to Tes. “Lock down this area and don’t let any of the Bulaq in, understand?”
“Yes, sir,” she replied, drawing a weapon from a hidden compartment beneath her station. Cas nodded, indicating the other two follow him.
The hallway connecting to the main brig was quiet and empty. If Cas remembered correctly, there was a service access junction off the main corridor about a hundred meters down which should spit them out right beside main engineering. After checking again and listening carefully, he motioned for them to follow him as they quickly made their way down the corridor.
They kept a good pace, Vrij had no trouble keeping up and Cas thought they might make a clean exit. But as they reached the last corner that would lead them to the access hatch Cas thought he heard the low murmur of voices. He peeked around the corner to see Ensign Williams escorting one of the Bulaq directly toward them. He pulled back with a grimace on his face, silently communicating the other two they were too close to turn back. His mind groped for some place to hide Vrij in the few seconds they had but there was nothing. He didn’t have a choice; they’d have to knock out the Bulaq. If they even could be knocked out.
“Get ready to take him,” he whispered to Laura, then turned back to the corner. As Williams and the Bulaq turned the corner Cas stiffened. Williams’ eyes went wide for a second upon seeing them as if they’d startled him but the Bulaq didn’t seem to react.
“Oh, Commander. Lieutenant. I didn’t hear you coming.” He turned to the Bulaq. “Have you met Draz’j?”
Cas looked at the man for any sign he was up to something or surprised to see Vrij out of jail, but he remained impassive. That’s when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. Cas glanced back to see only Laura, but no Vrij. “Wha—” he began, then turned back to the other two. “—uh, no. I haven’t. Caspian Robeaux.” Cas then indicated Laura. “Lieutenant Laura Yamashita.”
“Draz’j,” the other man said, his voice bored.
“I’m escorting Draz’j to begin work on the hull breach just below deck eleven,” Williams said, too chipper.
