Infinity's End: Books 4-6, page 34
You are right. They are forever chasing what is next and longing for what has already passed. It is in their nature. He paused. What can I do for you this evening?
Zenfor took a measured breath. She’d thought about this over the past few days but had kept it guarded. In some ways it seemed like too much to ask, like she was invading something private. But at the same time she felt she owed it to herself to try. I’ve enjoyed our time and discussions together. However, I want you to bring me into the mind-space. Like you do with our acting captain.
Sesster hesitated. Why?
Because I want to speak with you face-to-face. I want… She paused. It was too much. She couldn’t ask this of him.
Please. Continue.
I want to interact with you. Physically. Being here…alone. It is difficult.
I see. More hesitation. She shouldn’t have asked. She’d reached out and was about to be slapped away. She should have just stayed in her misery. At least then she would have known it couldn’t get any worse. The risk of this was excruciating.
Please focus your thoughts, Sesster said.
Does that mean you agree?
Of course. But I have never done this with a Sil before. It may take…adjustments.
Trying to keep her heart from thundering out of her chest, Zenfor closed her eyes and focused her mind. She thought of her time back on Renglas, where she was in control and connected to the ship itself. They all were, in a way.
The world around her fell away and she found herself on a dark gray landscape, infinite in all directions. Above her stars filled the night sky, to every end of the horizon. She was clad in garments from her homeworld, though not the suits they wore on the ships. If she thought hard enough about it, this could be Thislea at night. Though the air was warm, warmer than she’d ever felt it back home. Scents of tessimon and yeslac filled the air, the smells of home. So this was Thislea after all—or at least her perception of it.
She turned to see a figure approaching her dressed in robes, his skin was light but with a blue tint, though she’d never seen a Sil so pale. And his eyes were devoid of any pupils and were black instead. He stopped a few steps from her, observing the scene, taking it all in. “Is this your home?”
Zenfor narrowed her eyes. “Sesster?”
He glanced down, examining his form. “Your people are handsome. I feel honored to represent one.”
“Did I create this?” she asked.
“In a way. It is the merging of our minds, and thus you see and experience what is familiar to you. Is this your home planet?” He gazed up at the sky, then to the horizon.
“I think so, but not completely. Thislea isn’t this flat anywhere on the planet to my knowledge. And it isn’t this dark. One of the two suns is usually in view. On the rare occasion neither are, we call it ‘true dark’ but I’ve never experienced it.” She looked to the horizon but couldn’t see even the hint of twilight.
“This may be what you have always wanted to see, or your own personal representation of home. A place you feel comfortable.” Zenfor turned to him and studied his features. He hadn’t taken the face of anyone she knew, so some of it must be him. “Is this what you wanted?”
“Are we still in Engineering?” she asked.
He nodded. “To everyone else, nothing has changed. You are at your console and I am in the middle of repairing the microfilament centrifuge.”
She sighed. Sesster mentioning the engines only brought everything back. She’d wanted to get away for a few minutes. But she didn’t want to be rude, not to him. “How goes your work?”
“Slow. But I believe it should be finished within the next few hours. But that isn’t why you wanted to come here.” He approached her. She stood her ground, but at the same time felt the desire to touch him bloom somewhere deep within. She reached out, not knowing if her hand would pass right through him or vice versa. But her fingers gently brushed against his shoulder and she laid her hand there, feeling the softness of his robes and the curves of the muscles underneath.
“You’re real. I can—” He reciprocated the gesture and as he held her shoulder she shuddered, pleasure flowing through her. It had been too long. She’d been away much too long. “Sesster, I must confess something to you.”
The features of his face softened, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’m here. You can tell me.”
“I…can’t fix the engines. Not without rebuilding your entire undercurrent drive. The damage—” She faltered. Never before had she failed so spectacularly. And to admit her failure to anyone other than a Sil was paramount to treason. But she’d been working on it all hours of the day for weeks and each time come back to the same inevitable conclusion.
“You haven’t failed,” Sesster said, his tone gentle. “As long as you breathe, you haven’t failed.”
“The amount of time it would take to repair; it could be years. And we don’t have that long. Neither of our people do.” She stared into his eyes, wondering if he could see her back. If he could really “see” her in this place. It all felt so real and yet she could also sense the real world beyond the edges. Like she was in a protective bubble, if only for a short time. It reminded her of her bio-suit, only infinitely more complex.
“If that is the case then we will have to make the journey without it. But that is not your fault. You have already helped us more than you should have.”
She stilled. Could he sense the guilt in her mind or was this something else? “Explain,” she said.
He reached up and placed his hand on hers holding his shoulder. “You have used your own technology, or at least your own knowledge to enhance our mission. Had it not been for you we would have died in that nebula. And our ship would have taken an extra hundred days or more to reach Omicron Terminus. Without you, we wouldn’t know of Andromeda’s ability to obscure themselves in time. I know it is against your culture to share information. But in our case the information has saved our lives. We are forever in your debt.”
She hadn’t expected that. She’d expected him to call her weak for not upholding her principles, as a Sil would. “I have a question.”
“Please,” he replied.
“If I tell the others about the engines, what will be their reaction? What will happen?”
He kept the black orbs that acted as eyes pointed directly at her. “What do you expect will happen?”
“I expect no one will trust me for any future involvement. I will be confined back to my quarters, as we were when we first boarded. I expect I will have become nothing but an observer.”
He leaned close. Close enough that she could feel his soft breath on her skin. “We’re not like that here. You will receive no punishment for not completing your task. Failure of your task does not mean failure as a person.” His words stuck with her. Despite the lack of formality surrounding it, she’d been given a specific job on this ship, which was to maintain the system she had implemented. She was the first Sil in a thousand generations to have a task outside the one for which she was bred. Every day, as she stared at the information on the screen telling her completion of her task in the given timeframe was impossible, it chipped away at something in her. Part of her wanted to rise and say “see, this is why Sil only do one job their entire lives” while another part wanted to destroy the whole system; forget it ever happened. But the last part of her, the smallest and yet also the strongest, internalized that failure. And all she could think of was Zakria, and her failure at becoming a consul. And that failure terrified her. She wasn’t used to being terrified.
“You don’t have to be afraid here,” Sesster added. “You are among friends.”
Something inside her cracked and she reached up, touching Sesster’s “face”. “We must bond.”
He smiled, comfort radiating from him. “Show me your way. I am eager to learn.”
Chapter Sixteen
After hearing Diamant’s firsthand experience with the aliens, Cas was even more on edge. Any sense of inebriation had left upon hearing the gruesome details of what had happened. And if it happened as Diamant said it had, it was something of a miracle he was there talking to the man. But he couldn’t be taken in by something he only perceived. He’d known men back in the Sargan Commonwealth to embellish their tales to increase the size of their influence and Diamant might be no different. But he’d seen the destruction of Laq and its stars for himself via Starbase Five’s long-range telescopes. Which meant he was more likely to believe the man. But coming to an agreement was a different matter.
“We don’t have enough supplies for five thousand of your people,” Cas said, rocking back on his legs again so he was crouched as Diamant was. “Not nearly that much. But we can provide you with what we have. Surely something is better than nothing.”
“Caspian, you know better than that. Something worthless to me is not better than nothing. It is worse because now I have spent time on something when I could be doing other, more important tasks.” Diamant creased his brow, turning his attention to each of them in turn. Ryant looked like he might topple over at any second, though Laura was holding her own, even if she was perspiring a lot to maintain it. Cas glanced behind him, Vrij had curled against the wall, like he was afraid of something in the room. Even though he said he and Diamant hadn’t gotten along Cas had only seen the barest dislike on Diamant’s part. If it was there, it was subtle. “Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ve done anything but waste each other’s time here.”
Cas winced. “We can provide enough food for two-hundred and fifty, along with medical supplies. And perhaps even some new techniques for growing food, though I’ll have to clear that with my captain.”
Diamant touched his forehead with two fingers. “It isn’t enough.”
“You don’t even know what we’re asking for,” Laura croaked. Her voice had become hoarse.
Diamant turned to her. “It doesn’t matter. Two-hundred and fifty is a pittance. You’ve seen my people. That will barely feed a fraction of the population.”
Cas shook his head. “I’m not sure we can do more. I can show you what we brought with us, it is high in nutrients and high in calories. Surely there must be some value?”
Diamant was silent for a moment. “Because I like you, I’m going to give you an offer lower than I would for some of our other ‘allies’ who have since left us. I recognize you are in a very vulnerable position, and I want to help. Four hundred. And if we agree, I set the terms.”
Cas mulled it over. Four hundred was pushing it. But if they got all the supplies they needed and Zenfor could get her advanced drive working again, they could be back in Coalition space in several days, and it wouldn’t matter how many supplies they had. But there was no guarantee. And every day they hesitated was another day Tempest was under attack. “I can do four hundred. We can leave what we have here with you now and then bring the rest when we come back for what materials we can’t carry in our shuttle.”
“Your material requirements?” Diamant asked.
“Two-hundred kilograms of galvanium. Six hundred of cyclax. And fourteen thousand beams of ursanomium. I have the molecular composition and the conversion factors.” Cas pulled a small black bar from his jacket pocket, handing it over to Diamant. When Diamant pressed the button on the side a holographic list of their items came up, complete with all the technical data.
“We have these materials on hand, though we have different names for them of course,” he replied. “Very well. We can make this trade.” He handed the bar back to Cas. “But there is a condition.”
Cas tried not to let his concern show. “Okay.”
“We cannot allow you to leave and return. My people are desperate. I’m not saying this is the case, but what if we gave you these materials and you never came back?” There was that teasing tone again. “I can’t take that kind of risk with something so important.”
“We wouldn’t do that,” Laura said, forcefully. “That’s not what—” A look from Cas cut her off.
“What my colleague means is we honor our agreements.”
“It isn’t that I don’t trust you, Caspian. But how am I to know that? I propose another solution. We accompany you to your ship.” He eyed Cas carefully, perhaps looking for any sign of surprise or argument. But Cas wasn’t going to give it to him. “This way, you will have all the materials you need in one trip and we can transport our food and other goods back.” He paused again. “Without inconveniencing you.”
“It’s no inconvenience,” Cas said, though in reality it was. It would require another two days in transit for another round-trip to the hub and back which was that much longer they could be under attack. Diamant’s proposal would be more efficient and better for them in the short term but allowing him access to the ship was something he hadn’t cleared with Evie. If he were in command, he wasn’t sure how happy he’d be about his first officer bringing an unscheduled guest to the ship.
“Call it, compensation for not being able to provide for all our needs. We’ll give you everything on your list, but I want to see this miracle ship that can travel great distances in such a short amount of time. Such a wonder something like that must be.”
Inside Cas’s better judgment was screaming at him not to take this deal. He glanced at Laura and Ryant. Her face was impassioned, focused on him. She knew it was a bad deal too. But Ryant was just about out of it. He wouldn’t be any help if they had to make a quick exit. By drinking that molasses Cas had inadvertently allowed them to become compromised. If they said no now what would happen? Would Diamant let them leave or would he try and capture and imprison them? Hold them for ransom for the rest of Tempest? And what other choice did he have? It wasn’t like there was another source of materials close.
“Agreed,” Cas replied. “Though you understand our ship is over a day away.”
A smile formed on Diamant’s lips. “Very good. That’s no problem at all. We can spare a small ship to carry the rest of your goods. And in the spirit of cooperation, I suggest one or two of your party accompany my men on our shuttle and we’ll do the same.”
Cas tried to keep the concern off his face. “How many men do you need to bring?”
“Only a few. Half a dozen at the most. But because you’re being so accommodating, I’ll even sweeten this deal. We’ll help you with your repairs when you arrive. You’ve seen what we can do, surely we can repair your ship faster than you could.”
Heat rose in Cas’s cheeks and he was sure it was on full display. But he wasn’t about to lose it with this man. Diamant was a seasoned manipulator, and he was such a figure of influence in Bulaq society, but he couldn’t let that concern him. The plight of the Bulaq wasn’t their main focus; he had to keep his mind straight. Fix the ship, get back home. But it also opened up an opportunity that might not otherwise be present: with Diamant along he might have the chance to learn more about the Cho’ju’itsa as he called them. The more information they could bring back to the Coalition the better. “Fine,” he said, keeping his temper in check.
“And to prove I’m not as bad of a person as some might have made it seem,” he added, his eyes on Vrij. “Why don’t you bring our mutual acquaintance back with us? He wouldn’t be happy here; I know how much he enjoys his solitude on his own ship.”
Vrij looked ready to argue but the words died in his throat as he turned away from the circle. Cas couldn’t see the harm in bringing Vrij back; to be completely honest he wasn’t sure what he’d planned on doing with him. He half expected this to be nothing more than a farce in which case he might have advocated to shoot Vrij out into space, but since he’d actually fulfilled his promise he didn’t see any problem with taking him back and allowing him to go on his way, provided he didn’t try to steal any more parts.
“There’s one last thing,” Cas said as they moved to get up. Diamant glanced over. “We’ve been under attack by some…renegades. They’re Bulaq but Vrij tells us they’re of a different faction.”
Diamant creased his brow. “Yes. After the destruction of my world, many Bulaq went off on their own instead of doing the proper thing and staying with their own people. Usually it is a death sentence as no other species will have anything to do with us, but it sounds like you might have run into the scavengers. They’re a well-organized but small group of Bulaq who prey on passing ships, wearing them down over time before sinking their teeth in.” He regarded Cas for a moment. “I will see what I can do for you, Caspian. After all, you have been very accommodating to us. My influence is far-reaching. They may listen.”
“Thank you,” Cas replied.
Diamant retrieved the bottle of Ossak from Ryant’s slack hand. He looked almost asleep, though he was still on his knees. “Only half the bottle,” he said. “Let us hope this isn’t a reflection of our agreement.”
He smiled, but there was something hidden behind there. Something Cas didn’t like. What had he just gotten them into?
Chapter Seventeen
Evie sat behind the desk in the command room, staring at the set of instructions on the screen in front of her. They were the final set of commands necessary to transfer full control of the ship over to her. She’d been staring at them for over twenty minutes, trying to gather up the courage to make the final call. Instead, she’d stared into space.
“Ugh.” She pushed the chair back and stood, clasping her hands behind her back and glaring out the window to the nothingness beyond. How was she supposed to get them out of this by herself? There was no guarantee Cas would be successful, or even come back, though she really didn’t need those images floating around her brain. Losing Laura and Cas in the same day would be too much. She’d resign right then and there. But then who would take command after her? Sesster? Volf? Maybe it wouldn’t matter. Maybe they were all dead anyway. Who was to say after they repaired the ship the Andromeda aliens weren’t already out there waiting for them, just biding their time until they saw Tempest try to head for home? Maybe the best thing they could do was point the ship in a direction away from the Coalition and go. Cas might have had the right idea all along.
