Sirens, page 15
paused and t about Nigel. ' gives me the willies,' she had said ggie
after her first meeting with him. n't be silly.' Maggie had smiled
reassuringly at her. ''s a pose, darling. Quite a successful one, I'll
admit, but that. He dotes on it. All this demonology bullshit - I think
t into it originally because of Tie. The fagade of sen- lism. I'm
perfectly sure that's why he has all those with other women. It makes
good copy -' c busts would be more than enough,' Daina had said Y. not
for him. Nigel needs this kind of thing twenty-four a day. And of course
Tie feeds it into him just as fast can take it.' She shrugged her
shoulders. ' I mean evil could he be? He and Chris've known each other
all lives.' Daina, how are ya?' Rollie, coming in through the cting door
to the studio proper, grinned at her, came up eps, gave her a hard but
affectionate bear hug. He wore r of torn jeans and a blue and white
Dodgers warm-up t. When he was in town, he was at all their home games,
often than not watching from the dugout. Ilie went off to speak to Chris
who was huddled together Pat, the band's engineer, developing the
computer ram for a final mix. Then he went out into the studio, 130 131
crossing the snaked landscape to his drum setup, began to 0 over it
carefully, tapping experimentally on each drum and cymbal in turn with
one drumstick tip, making adjustments where he thought it necessary. The
control room was bilevel, a lower section abutting the front of the
control panel along which was a comfortable couch and a small table.
Daina went down to it and sat. Dirn lights shone over her head from
recessed pits in the deepbrown acoustic ceiling. She heard the sharp
hiss of the spinning tape, the brief flare of backward notes like a
child's tumbled conversation with herself. It stopped and out of the
absolute silence afforded by the room there came a blare of music so
loud it made her jump. The massive speakers - the same ones, she saw,
that Chris had at home - were mounted on either side of the room over
her head. She heard Chris' voice saying quietly, '.' Silence stole in
again for a moment, then a chair creaked and Pat said, ' gotta go take
me a piss an' stretch my legs. Be back in a bit.' The door to the hall
hissed shut behind him. Daina turned around, got up on her knees.
The top half of her head protruded above the machinery. ', is that you?'
' not here?' He shook his head. ' a call earlier, she said. Maybe to do
with a part.' ''s great.' For a moment she contemplated telling Chris
what Maggie had accused them of, then thought better of it. Damn her,
she thought, for thinking that. She's so insecure sometimes. Chris
nodded. ' now she'll get off my back.
Christ, she's drivin' me round th' bend, she is.' ''s just worried."
"Yah.' He shook out a cigarette, lit it with a practised snap of his
lighter. ''t she always?' His face got fierce as he lurched towards her
over the control panel. ' gotta believe in sumthin', Dain, tget
anywhere.' He clenched his fist. ' gotta believe in yourself ' all round
you are people just dyin' t' put th' knife in; who'll love t' tell you
what a screw- up you are.' He was very close to her and his eyes darted
back over her face as if searching for something. He abruptly changing
the mood, sat back *in his chair. "why we get along so well, you'ri'me,
huh?' nodded. ''s part of it.' don't see me as a freak; you ain't out t'
grab ahold ''s tail. He laughed again.
"Hell, no! You got a a' your own.' He stubbed out the cigarette,
half-smoked, a small metal canister. ' little blow?' @,,shook her head.
' ran into Nigel outside. He tried to with loco weed.' He's in some
bloody foul mood t'night. Must be a full moon.' He sniffed up a tiny
spoonful of coke. aina, watching him, said, ' don't you get into a
really nky habit like dri mg. Chris pinched his nose, ran the white
residue on his rtips along his gums. ', that's purely a prole vice.
put m' dad away for it once. Bloody rummy before he ay t'sea. It's what
cured him, really.' he sea?' ah. Bein' away from me murn.' He laughed
without any our. As if his words had a bitter taste. He eyed her. '
don't want any o' this? Nah. You're a good girl, you are.' She laughed.
"Got to think of my image.' So do I,' he said, taking another spoonful.
"Here's to e!' He sniffed mightily and the power was gone. He the
canister away, wiped his nose. ', well, better you n't take any o'
Nigel's weed; you'd be right out of it by He still makes me nervous,"
she said, ' all this time.' '.'Who, Nigel? Hell, he's only a little boy
tryin' t' make his rk on th' grown-up world.' ''s what I mean.
How he loves his guns!' ', that. Well, y'gotta know him as long as I do,
t'under- ' that. See, t' him, everythin's fleetin', insubstantial.
But a n he can hold in his hand. It's got weight, it's got power. '
potent. He pulls th' trigger an',kills an animal. He can I it, touch its
coolin' fur. He knows what he's done.' She shuddered. ''s
reprehensible.' '?' He aimed his forefinger, cocked his thumb, aimed 132
133 and shot at an imaginary target. '! Bang! He don't kill people.' '
he sounds as if he wishes he could.' ', well, that's Nigel all over,
innit? The sod was always th' most image-conscious of us lot. Sure.' He
nodded. '' I oughtta know - we grew up on th' streets o' Manchester
t'gether.' He lit another cigarette, took one puff and ignored it. ''s
what comes from not knowin' your dad, never havin' enough money t' pay
th' rent, never knowin' what you'd come home t'find.' Chris took one
last drag, dropped the cigarette away from his yellowed callused
fingertips. ' remember when we were sharin' a flat in th' old days when
we was just able t' scrape up th' odd gig. Filthy bit of a thing one
flight down in a basement smelled of old cardboard'n'piss so bad I useta
put a clothespeg on me nose before I could fall asleep. ' night I calls
me mum - didn't have no phone; froze our bollocks off at th' comer in
winter - an' she tells me, "Son your dad's back. Just nipped round t'
see us. He wanster see you. Brought you a Christmas present he did"
". got white in th' face, came back t' thl flat, didn't even hear Nigel
say, "What's th' matter,, mate?" an' went off t' me mum's flat. ' in th'
street till th' bugger came down th' steps. Then I bust him in th' face,
broke his nose so's th' blood's all ova the place. Teeth go flyin'. Kick
him twice in th' balls hard as I can. Nigel had t' drag me off th'
bleeder.
"So me ol' man's a mess on th' pavement y'see, all blood an' teeth an'
all, moanin' away. Nigel's got holda me an' I'm shakin' like a leaf an'
he throws me aside, that crazy bleeder, an' he whips out a gun - a
German Luger - an' aims it at me ol' man's head. I made a grab for th'
arm, made it just as he squeezes th' trigger. Boom! ' a bomb explodin',
bits o' macadam blew into our faces an' I said t' Nigel, "Are you
bleedin! off your nut, mate? Y' coulda killed him." An' he said, "So
what? Look what he did t'you an'your mum"
".ut it was loyalty, y'know.
Christ, he was crazy t' try but I understood what he was about.' He
looked at her. ' ",,mean?' He grunted. ' reason enough, I reckon.
left his mum alone t' fend for herself. Worked all ever happened to your
father?' she asked. that. Course, he packed it in; went away an' I never
again. But coupla weeks later, me mum said t' me, there was a bit ova
fracas in th' street while ago. You a fight with your dad?"
"He told you?" I said. But she ",her head. "Never said a word, luv. Was
Mrs. Faithfull irs who saw it." An' I thought, how's that? The bleeder
said a word. That gave me a feelin' inside somehow, all like. n' me mum
said, "Son, it's about time I told you all t your dad." He's a seaman,
she told me. Had to ship out. t could she do? Stand in th' way of him
eamin' his liveli- Not bloody likely I cn tell you. But every month, she
just like clockwork comes a packet o' money from him. c she left out th'
rummy part - had t'find that out on me e's meant to've drowned off the
Cape of Good Hope in ty-sevcn. Mum showed me th' letter his captain
sent. He t over th' side in a longboat in th' middle of a bleedin' to
rescue two crewmen. Swept away in an instant, "like sea had spirited him
away," the captain wrote.' He snorted. bleedin' hero, see what it got
him.' Chris' head went back his eyes closed. He breathed evenly and
deeply as if he e asleep but his finger flipped a toggle switch and
music from the enormous speakers over their heads. aina slipped down on
to the couch, losing sight of him. put her arms over her head, closed
her eyes, allowed the s to beat against her eyelids like patterns of
light. s if from far away she heard the door open and someone Ik in as
the music faded out into a soft tape hiss. ', Chris, there you are." It
was not Pat, who had a pronounced Southern drawl. This ce had the
clipped consonants, the utterly flat vowels she ociated with the area
around LA. ', may I ask, is going on here, anyway?' the voice went
"Every goddamned night it's another fight between you lazy 134 135
bastards I gotta put right.' Someone lit a cigarette. ', at the risk of
becoming redundant, let me go over this with YOU again. If this album's
not completed and mastered inside a week, we're going out on tour with
no new product. You know what that means? Not even a goddamn single -2
', go screw yourself, Benno. In th' long run it's gornmmna make no
difference at all.' ''s where you're wrong, buddy boy. Why don't you
just stick to the music and let me handle the business end, all right?'
''s th' problem, coach. It's all a bloody business now., "Oh, you break
my heart, you know that? Without the business this group'd be bankrupt.
You spend the money before it even comes in. Christ only knows how much
goes up your nose.' ' out! I don't spend that much.' ''m telling you
right now, Chris, to get this album wrapped UP.
"But it's all down t'me, don't you see that? No one else was prepared
for this one - or haven't you noticed? I'm th' one expected t'get it all
together but I mean Nigel came in here holdin' his dick an' Ian didn't
even want t' listen t' th' new tunes Id written.' ' listen, Chris "No,
by Christ, you bleedin' listen, you sod! I'm fuckin' tired of carryin'
this band around on my shoulders. I'm bloody sick of takin' everyone
else's responsibilities on. I mean why should they bother? They know
bloody well it'll get done without them.' ' are you saying?" "Th'
situation's all bollixed up an' I want out.' ' see.' "'I see"?
What th'hell does that mean?' ''s the first time I'm hearing it.
What d'you want me t'say?' ' come on. I'm hip t'your ' can't leave,
Chris. You have responsibilities ''t you go tellin' me my
responsibilities, matev ' was talking about all the kids -? a real hard
case, ain't you, Benno? Oh yes you are. You don't for a minute give a
shit about th' kids, Naw. Naw. It's the bleedin' income.' the Heartbeats
haven't been successful for, uhm, years with no reason. Even you can see
that.' Sure.' the music. The kids dig the music. You start deviating
what everyone's got used to and it's disaster time. of us. For Christ's
sake I'm not thinking about myself. r: a goddamned industry now. Lotta
people depend on ,,happens from album to album. Now I've heard some own
tracks, this new stuff you're -' we've come to the heart of the bleedin'
darkness we, mate?' played me the roughs music -, got a right to hear
it, y'know. You forgotten who the amp d never do that, Benno.' right
then.' emusies none o'your business-' t it is my business when I think
it might affect o died anmade you God?' rotten bastards think you've got
the monopoly on om or what? Certain decisions've got t'be made. That's
I'm here.' , an' the music's none o' your reer decisions, Chris isten
you bastard -' is one's already been made.' lence enfolded the control
room, thick and choking. ina's eyes flew open as the fire burned
brighter in her Anxiety rose inside her like a fettered bird. hat
th'hell you on about?' lust what I've said. The band will not allow you
out of contract.' ' band?' ' was a vote, you see.' ' me?
Who called it?' 136 137 'Nigel - and I. It needed getting done. There
had to be a clarification of ' the hell outa here, man. You disgust me.'
' won't solve anything.' ', Benno. Now. In another minute you'll be
crawlin'. ' you calm down you'll see -2 ' ain't gettiiiany more music
outa me.' ' -' ' one bleedin' note! Not until I'm free.' ' are legal
measures but I don't want to go into thern now. When you -' ' what,
Benno? All of a sudden, I don't feel so good y'know? Might be serious.
Somethin' like infectious hepatitis.
That means six months at least I'm outa commission.' ' can get a doctor
to -' ' album. Th' new single - th' bleedin' tour, mate. Boom-boom." Out
of the silence Benno's voice was filled with an odd calmness. ' don't
for a minute think you're serious about any of this, Chris. Once you get
out on the road, San Francisco next week, you'll feel altogether
different.' ' just ain't listenin'. I'm through with th' lot o' you."
"You're making a serious judgmental error, Chris.' ', you're beginnin'
t' talk like that bleedin' battery o' lawyers o' yours. Split.
just split.' ''ll talk to you in a couple of days then.' Daina heard the
door open, sigh shut, then Chris' exhaled voice, ' bleedin' Christv She
sat up like a jack-in-the box, her head spiralling higher.
"You still therep He came around from behind the wall of the console.
"Yeah.' He grinned at her. '' only one. Sure emptied out in here of a
sudden.' He rubbed at the tip of his nose. ' bastard manager!" Abruptly
he gave a barking laugh, shrugged his shoulders. ', what the hell.
Nothin' I c'n do ' it tnight. What say we get outa here but quick.' He
took her to The Dancers, a members-only club off Rodeo Drive, right
around the comer from Georgio's. Inside, it was a palace of mirrored
rooms. The main one was round, cinctured by a Lucite bar. It had a
see-through floor below 138 a tropical torrent of foliage. Looking down
caused disorientation. The walls were black enamel, by electronicized
moss, skeins of patterned coloured moving in endless waves. Every hour,
as if to mark time, II in the centre of the floor were drenched in
sparkling 1$tardust' drifting down from some hidden source. pushed their
way through the crowd and in the sweat and constant cacophony of the
music lost them- , an orgy of movement. seemed oblivious in their
intensity to the stares of the and painted faces bobbing wide-eyed next
to them ans drawn to the side of an imperial junk, begging, lips pressed
to pink ears so shouts could be heard over after, the cameras arrived
and, after certain clandestine calls from the management, a peculiar
school of pilot ed. They seemed to survive for just this purpose - to to
rub up against, to be at the same function as, to nick re notch in the
tired Fiorucci jumpsuit, but always to lovingly at, to drink in the
aura, the emanations, the ncity, like latter-day vampires feeding off
sustenance t substance..s whirled Daina around, his hands on her hips as
they d, sweat flipping off their faces like cascades from a all while
below them the furled fronds of the dwarf dipped and swayed as if they,
too, found the rhythmic es irresistible.
And still they danced on, with Chris' T-shirt dark with t; with Daina's
blouse clinging damply to her skin, undful of the flashbulbs popping all
around them like shooting and the noise of the place like a constant
roll of thunder that, at some time unknown to either of them, the music
d to be music any more, became a kind of pulsonic nting, a percussion
they picked up through the soles of their es and was all they had to
guide them on long after their s gave out with a soundless shout and
packed it in, exhausted ' overload. At some time they found themselves
at one section of the r. Chris bought them enormous gin-and-tonics,
which they 139 proceeded to pour over each other's head rather than
drink. They laughed and snorted, drinking greedily of drinks they could
not taste - all the harsh smoke had rendered their taste buds insensate.
