The Twisted Series The Complete Set, page 49
part #1 of Twisted Series
But my gut, it told me to leave it alone. Let him suffer.
I was angry, but I also missed him. I hated him for leaving me, but I also loved him. I couldn’t trust him, but I also trusted him with my life.
My feelings toward Miles were so damn confusing now that I couldn’t even begin to figure them out. It hadn’t even been this confusing back when I first met him and all the shit we’d gone through with Owen. Yeah, that had been messed up, but not so much that I couldn’t see what I felt for Miles. Now, all of it just blurred together and I hated it.
“No, I don’t think it’s been long enough,” I finally answered Danny’s question.
“Okay. It’s your marriage. I’m just trying to help. That man loves you, even if he left without explaining shit or lied to you about the situation with Mia. He still loves you and I get that you’re having a hard time with it all, but I don’t think Miles would do anything to lose you. I really don’t,” she said.
I didn’t respond, because I wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe she was right, and I was just being stubborn and petty.
My phone started vibrating again and I almost groaned, thinking it was Miles again, but as I looked at the screen once more, I saw my mother’s face.
Great. Leave it to my mother to call me after midnight to I’m sure talk about her wedding, which she had yet to give me a date for yet. She had just left me with the fact that she was getting married and that I had at least two weeks to find a dress.
A dress she wasn’t even paying for.
I sighed and grabbed my phone off the table as I stood up. “I’ll be right back,” I told Danny on my way through the crowd and toward the front entrance.
I stepped out into the humid air and saw Kevin leaning against the wall, playing on his phone. He looked up when I came out.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” I responded and then answered my mom’s phone call, “Hey Mom.”
“Finally,” she groaned.
I rolled my eyes even though she couldn’t see me as I stepped away from Kevin and started kicking at the loose rocks on the pavement with my heels. “What do you need?” I asked.
“Have you found a dress yet?” she asked.
I heard a group of rowdy people pass by me, heading toward their cars. “No. I’m still looking.”
Mom sighed in disappointment. “Ok, we can get back to that. Is Danny and her boyfriend, um, what’s his name?”
“Jaxson,” I said with another roll of my eyes.
“Yes, him. Are they going to be able to come?” she asked.
“Uh, Mom, you never said anything about both of them coming,” I pointed out. This was going to be an interesting turn of events if that was the case.
“Well, duh, they both have to come. You and Miles are coming,” she said.
Could this get any worse? I hadn’t told my mother about Miles leaving, but she knew we had got married, so it didn’t surprise me that she assumed he would be there to walk me down.
“Mom, uh, I don’t think Miles will be able to come. I mean I guess it depends on when you’re having it, but I’m not real sure,” I said.
“What? Damnit! Ok, forget Miles. I have decided to do it this weekend, so if he can’t be here to share this experience with your family by then, he can just sit home alone,” she said.
“This weekend? That’s in like, a few days!” I was so screwed.
“Yes, dear, this weekend. I will count on you being here. Anyway, I have to go to bed. I have tons of shopping to do tomorrow,” she said and then hung up without another word.
“Fuck!” I said and dropped my hand to my side.
“Damn, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard you say the big F word,” I heard Kevin say behind me.
I looked over my shoulder at him. He still leaned against the wall, playing on his phone as if nothing in his life was wrong right now.
“My mother is getting married this weekend,” I said flatly.
Maybe it was the fact that it was just me and Kevin out here, or it was the fact that Kevin had always just been the jokester out of everyone, which made him easy to vent to, but either way, I found myself exhaling a heavy breath and letting it loose as he stood there patiently listening.
“My mom called me to tell me she had met someone, and they were getting married. She didn’t tell me when until just now. She literally gave me a few days to find my fucking dress and get my ass to Florida, which means begging my boss for this weekend off and probably missing some of my classes in the first week of school. Not to mention, she’s expecting not only Danny and Jaxson there, but Miles too. Miles isn’t even fucking here, and I don’t know when he will be back, so I don’t know what the fuck to do about that and Jax doesn’t even know my mother, so I don’t know how he will take it when I ask him about coming with,” I said all in one breath and then sucked in another as I finished.
I stared at Kevin, who had put his phone down at some point while I had ranting and was staring at me now with an expression that was unreadable.
“Holy shit,” he said finally, and then pushed off the wall to walk toward me, “Let it out girl. I’m all for being the shoulder you cry on.”
When Kevin got within a foot of me and I realized he wasn’t going to stop, I held my hand up and it hit his chest, causing him to stop. “Easy there, big guy. I’m not about to cry on your shoulder or anyone else’s. I was just ranting,” I said with a smile.
He grinned wickedly. “Right….”
I laughed and dropped my hand from his chest. “Shut up and go back to your post.”
Kevin held his hand to his chest in fake pain, “Ouch, that hurts.”
“I guess I just love hurting mindless bouncers,” I teased and then laughed at the look on his face at the word “mindless.”
“Gosh, such a bitch,” Kevin said, but his grin remained as he walked back over to his spot near the door.
I smiled and then headed back inside. I could hear the bass while I’d been outside, but it wasn’t until I came inside that I could make out the song.
“Unstable” by Krizz Kaliko vibrated my bones as I made my way through the crowd and back to our booth. The lights dimmed and flickered to the beat, giving the place a whole new vibe. I scanned the dance floor as people moved, grinding against their other half.
When I reached our booth, I didn’t see Danny there. I took a seat anyway and looked around to see if I could spot her in the mix.
It took me a minute, but I finally found her. She stood near the center of the dance floor, moving along with the beat, her arms wrapped around someone. From this angle, I couldn’t see the other person, but I only assumed it was Jaxson.
But then she shifted, and I realized I was so very wrong.
It was not Jaxson at all, but it was someone I knew.
Chase had his arms around Danny’s waist. His head was down, close to her neck, but not so out of sight that I couldn’t tell that it was him.
My anger flared almost instantly. Partly at Danny and the other part at Chase.
Before I could stop myself, my feet were moving. I had no idea what I was going to do, but at this very moment, I didn’t care. I had warned him, and I knew Danny had been drinking tonight. She wasn’t drunk, but she wasn’t exactly sober either, which made everything worse in my eyes.
I shoved people out of my way as I walked toward them. It wasn’t until I got right up on them that I made my move and shoved Chase hard enough to make him stumble back a bit. People seemed to notice the situation, because some stopped to look, while others moved out of the way.
“Ray….” Danny said, but I ignored her and glared up at Chase, who didn’t look all that happy either.
“I told you to stay away from her,” I said angrily.
Chase grinned, “Are you her mother?”
“No, she’s not,” Danny answered, and I could hear the frustration in her voice.
I looked at her, but she simply stared at the ground as if she wanted it to collapse from under her feet and swallow her whole. I turned my gaze back on Chase.
“I don’t care. She is my best friend, my drunk best friend might I add, and you are going to stay the hell away from her,” I said firmly.
Chase’s gaze turned deadly, but he remained rooted to the spot. “Or what?”
Before I could respond, I heard his voice and while I knew there was no keeping this from him, I would have much rather Danny tell him herself.
“What the hell is going on?” Jaxson asked and came up beside me.
I didn’t look at him, but I could see Danny lift her gaze. I felt like I had to pick sides here. Between best friend and loyal friend. Chase seemed to catch on quick too, because he glanced between Jaxson and Danny as if he were connecting the dots.
I made a choice. One that I would probably come to regret later.
“Nothing, everything is fine,” I said as I stared into Chase’s eyes, almost daring him to say something different and grabbed Danny’s arm. I started pulling her back toward the booth, but then I heard Chase.
“Stupid bitc- “
He didn’t get to finish, because Jaxson’s fist connected with his jaw. I heard Danny gasp as Chase hit the ground and blood started dripping from his mouth. People moved back as I stood there in stunned silence, my heart pounding in my ears.
Jaxson stood over Chase, glaring down at him with so much rage it almost worried me. I had never seen Jax so out of control, so enraged.
“Don’t ever think you can get away with calling any part of my family a bitch or anything else in front of me, because I will end you before you even get the chance to. I don’t give a fuck who you are,” Jax said so calmly that it sent chills down my spine.
He wasn’t lying.
“Excuse me, move!” I heard Rachel’s voice as she pushed her way through the crowd that had settled around us. She looked at me and Danny, then at Chase on the ground, and then over at Jaxson. “What the hell is going on here?” she asked.
“Nothing. We’re done here,” Jaxson said and then turned his back on Chase. I followed him as he made his way back into the crowd, vanishing from sight.
When he was gone, I looked at Chase who had finally stood back up. He wiped the blood from his lip and stared me down.
“Can someone please explain what the fuck is going on?” Rachel asked.
To my surprise, it was Chase who answered.
“Nothing, like he said, we’re done here,” he said and then started off in the opposite direction Jaxson went, wiping his mouth as blood continued to drip.
Rachel looked at me and Danny, since we were the only two left standing there. I dropped my gaze, because this wasn’t my problem to explain. It was Danny’s.
She caused this. She had to own up to it.
“Hello…anyone?” Rachel asked.
“Nothing, it was nothing….” Danny said, and the sound of her voice made me look at her. That was when I saw the tears that had fallen from her eyes.
She didn’t wait for a response, instead she vanished in the same direction Chase went and left me alone with Rachel, who seemed like she wasn’t sure what to say now. The crowd seemed to register that the show was over and went about business as usual.
Rachel came up to me then, “Ray, what the hell is happening?”
I looked up and caught sight of Jaxson, who stood on the other side of the room, near the back door. His forearms rested against the wall, as did his forehead, as if he too wished he could vanish.
“I don’t know….” I said calmly as I watched Jaxson.
It was at that moment that I felt my heart being torn in two different directions. Part of it wanted to go after my best friend, who I knew hated herself right now, but the other half…it surprised me.
It wanted the other best friend, the one I didn’t know I had until the moment he punched someone in the face for calling me a bitch.
The moment he called me family without a moment of hesitation. The moment he stood up for me when it should have been my husband’s job.
That guy, it wanted to go to him.
Chapter Ten
Danny
I stormed out the front door in a hurry.
“Danny?” I heard Kevin, but I kept moving. I got a few feet from him before I stopped only long enough to slip my shoes off. Dirty pavement or not, I didn’t care as I held them in my hand and continued to walk until I was next to my car.
I stopped there, breathing quickly. I didn’t normally have panic attacks, but that was exactly what I felt like right now. My heart raced, and I couldn’t control my breathing, no matter what I did. I could feel my body trembling as I stood there, staring off into the darkness of the trees around Twisted.
What was I thinking agreeing to dance with Chase? I knew someone would notice and maybe that was my intentions, but why? Why did I keep doing this to myself? Why did I keep doing this to people I loved?
I felt them before I could stop thinking. The tears that had threatened to break free inside finally slid down my cheeks. I didn’t fight them. I couldn’t fight them, even if I tried. I dropped to the dirty pavement, releasing my heels as I did and fell against my car. I let the tears flow, letting my soul, my heart, break all over again. I wanted to be a better person. I thought I could be a better person, but my demons wouldn’t let me go. I was playing a losing game.
Closing my eyes, I felt the coolness the tears had left on my skin. Not only had I hurt Jaxson tonight, because even if I hadn’t told him, he knew. I had seen it in his eyes. He had put the dots together and I had no idea what it meant for us.
“God damnit!” I yelled and hit my car door, but I barely felt the pain in my hand as I sat drowning in my own fears.
I hated myself. I was such a fuck up. I knew, even when I first met Jaxson that I wasn’t good enough for him, but then I had let my heart take the lead. Even though it was for just a moment, I had fallen head over heels in love with him. And that had been the worst thing I could have done, because now I was doing exactly what I had feared I’d do in the first place.
I thought back to a conversation Jaxson and I had months ago.
“Don’t hurt me. Not yet.”
His words came to me like someone had stepped right on my chest. Even then, he had known. He had known he was risking his heart by loving me, but he had done it anyway.
“I’m so sorry….” I whispered as more tears fell.
“I know you are,” I heard his voice.
I sucked in a sharp breath and looked up to see Jaxson. He stood with his hands in his pockets, staring down at me with an expression I couldn’t read. It was like I was staring at a complete stranger, because I couldn’t read a damn thing he was feeling. I didn’t care if he saw me crying, because the longer he stood there, watching me, the more I saw the truth.
“I can’t do this,” I said so quietly that I wasn’t even sure he heard me.
Jaxson’s expression didn’t change. It didn’t betray a single emotion. “I know,” he said calmly.
“I keep trying to be better, but I just keep failing. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to look at you and love you after what I made you do,” I said.
He didn’t respond. He just listened.
“I blame myself. For everything. You should never have done something like that for me. I don’t deserve it. I should have stopped you. I should have done something,” I went on as tears started pouring from my eyes again.
I looked up at him, but once again, I couldn’t see what he was thinking or feeling. It was like I had lost the ability to see him.
“Jaxson, I’m not good for you. I’m so sorry I waited until now. I’m so sorry I did that with Chase. I’m so sorry I ruined you,” I cried.
I heard his deep inhale and then, “All I need to know is one thing, Danny. You answer this question and I need you to answer with the truth, because I think I deserve that much,” he said.
I blinked up at him and waited. I could hear my own heart pounding in my chest as I waited for him to speak again.
Jaxson maintained a blank expression as he stared down at me. Not moving closer, but not moving away either.
“Did you dance with Chase, because you are trying to push me away or because you wanted to?” he asked just as eerily calm as ever.
I stared at him. I thought about his question. I thought about the truth. In fact, there was a million different things running through my head, but then I centered on one response.
And it crushed me.
“I…. did it,” I froze as my voice cracked and more tears fell, “I did it to push you away and because I wanted to dance with him,” I finally said.
Jaxson nodded as if he already knew the answer.
“I’m so sorry, Jaxson,” I said as he looked away from me.
“That’s all I need to know,” he said and then started walking back toward Twisted.
I closed my eyes as the tears fell even harder and stayed that way. I didn’t go after him and I didn’t call his name, because I knew he deserved better than me.
I knew it was time to let him go, because I couldn’t be the person he had fallen in love with. I couldn’t be that girl. I wasn’t that girl anymore and I have always known that. I had been selfish with Jaxson and it had ruined him, something I had always known would happen. There was no way to fight fate and that was something I had learned with Brody.
I loved him, but my demons refused to let me love him enough.
I don’t know how long I sat there on the cold, dirty pavement before Ray came to find me. She didn’t say anything as she sat down beside me, both of us staring off as if it were the only thing we could do. I wasn’t sure how long we sat in silence before she finally spoke.
“Let’s go home,” she said.
I nodded. I couldn’t even speak at this point. My body had quit trembling and the tears had dried up, leaving nothing behind. Not even the slightest bit of strength.
I was drained completely.
In a daze, I got into the passenger side of the car and stared out the window as Ray pulled out of the parking lot, all the while watching Twisted disappear behind us.
