Hidden Truths, page 14
“I kind of thought you just hated baseball.”
She smiles and tucks my hair behind my ear. “I don’t hate baseball. I’m sorry you thought that. And I’m very proud of you.”
I rest my head on my mom’s shoulder.
We sit together quietly for a while. She points to my baseball glove. “Something else Eric saved?”
Her words pull at me, and I nod. Then my phone buzzes.
Mom kisses my forehead and leaves the room.
“Hello,” I say.
“Hey.” Eric’s voice cracks.
It sounds like him, but not really. It’s like his goofiness has been wiped clean, and now there’s no sign of the Eric I know. The one who saved me. The one I hurt.
“I wanted to tell you about this offer thing from Jade Zhang.”
“The podcast person from the temple softball team?” I ask.
“Yeah. She has that weekly show and wants to talk to you and your mom about maybe doing a feature on what happened to you this summer.”
“Oh.”
“You guys need to call her and let her know if you’re interested. It’s up to you.”
“Okay,” I say, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror.
What do I want?
Eric gives me Jade Zhang’s telephone number and hangs up.
I wonder why he’s still trying to help.
After all the stuff I didn’t say.
37
More to the Story
I thought Rachel understood this wasn’t just some story to use to get into private school.
Last night she texted: Sorry don’t be mad
I didn’t text back.
I don’t have history or a club meeting and somehow manage to get through today without bumping into her at school.
I bolt when the final bell rings. It’s my first day at the radio station helping Jade. She said she spoke to Alice and they’re all in.
And since I’m now a believer that donuts are the key to everything, I make a quick stop at Anna’s Bakery to grab a dozen.
Before going into Jade’s office, I eat a glazed donut and reread what I wrote for her. She said she’d get the facts about the company involved and all the government regulations, but she wants to know my side of things, what I experienced. So last night, after reading Our Friend Hedgehog: The Story of Us (three times) and I’m Sorry (four times) to Zoe, I tried to write while Tony and Stark spun on their wheel.
But I just couldn’t get the words out. Instead I watched Iron Man while the story of the accident swam in my head. This morning I tried again. I thought about texting Rachel, but even I knew that was a bad idea. I wrote and deleted and wrote and deleted and wrote some more. I sat in my chair, my leg jitter bobbing, and read aloud to the gerbils.
Our annual camping trip started great. I was at the Cape with my best friend, Dani, and my dad. The first day I woke up early, wrapped myself in my sleeping bag, and left the camper.
Within minutes I heard a loud boom. Fire, smoke, and bits of glass, paper, and cloth were everywhere. My dad was out fishing, but Dani was trapped inside the camper. I ran in and found her stuck under a bunch of cabinets, surrounded by thick smoke. I dragged her out. I was really scared.
By seven o’clock in the morning, I knew this was the worst day of my life.
Dani was hurt. Her right leg and arm were injured. Dani is right-handed. Dani’s a baseball pitcher.
Recently we found out that the explosion was caused by some defect in my remote-control car. The car was made by RCarz. I emailed the company to tell them what happened, hoping they’d help make sure this never happens to anyone else.
But the company never got back to me.
RCarz shouldn’t be allowed to ignore kids who get hurt using their stuff. A company shouldn’t be allowed to hide from the truth.
I put my phone back into my pocket and walk through the revolving door of Jade’s office building. I take the elevator to the sixth floor. The elevator doors open, and I immediately love this place. It feels alive. Jade is waiting for me. As we walk down the hall we pass a guy wearing a Celtics hat in a control room surrounded by a giant board with sliders and buttons. There are recording booths with microphones and lots of desks for reporters. Jade introduces me around. The donuts turn out to be a good idea.
When we get to Jade’s desk, it’s a mess, like mine. Which, oddly, makes me happy. But her piles make her mess look more purposeful.
She asks me questions about that morning and records my answers. I use what I wrote to help me say what’s spinning in my brain. Then she holds up an envelope with CPSC on it. I recognize the initials, and my heart speeds up.
“It’s the results from your Freedom of Information Act request,” she tells me. “I had a guy I know who works there fast-track your request and send the results here.” She takes out the letter and hands it to me. I try to read it but it doesn’t make any sense, because most of the words are crossed out with big black lines.
“They’re trying to protect the company,” Jade explains when I look up, confused.
“I thought the whole point of the CPSC was to protect the people who use the company’s stuff?”
“It is, but sometimes there are loopholes.” Jade takes a sip from the water bottle on her desk.
“What happens now?”
Please don’t say, “Nothing more we can do.”
She stands up and grabs her jacket and a tote bag. “I did some digging, learned some new information, and have more to share.”
“What did you find out?”
She heads out the door. I follow but need to walk fast to keep up.
“I spoke to Alice, and we’re heading there now,” she tells me as we enter the elevator.
“Why?” My body freezes. Because other than my giving her the information to call Jade, Dani and I aren’t really talking.
Jade’s face is serious. “There’s a lot more to this story, Eric.”
38
The Biggest One
I’m sitting in the family room with Mom and Casey when Eric walks in with Jade Zhang.
Last night Mom and I agreed to meet with Ms. Zhang and do this story. Then Mom nervous-baked peanut butter cookies, sugar cookies, and pumpkin muffins (in case Ms. Zhang’s not a cookie person).
Casey runs over to Eric, who gives her some love, and then Eric looks at me. I didn’t realize he’d be here, too. His curls fall in his face, and an uncomfortable silence edges between us. It feels strange. He’s been my best friend since forever. He gave me his lucky coin. He knows my heart. He knows my secrets.
Except the biggest one, which nobody knows. That ever since the accident, there’s a giant piece of me that’s scared all the time.
I should tell him.
But maybe I should apologize first.
Ms. Zhang interrupts my brain spiral. “Thanks for agreeing to meet.”
I run my hand through my short hair.
She sits across from us, and Mom offers her something to eat. Turns out she is a cookie person. She takes a peanut butter one. “What happened to you should never have happened, and maybe together we can make sure it never happens again.”
I glance at Eric, who’s staring at his sneakers. This is exactly what he’s been saying all along.
“Ms. Zhang, we appreciate your coming here today,” Mom says, sitting back down.
“You can call me Jade. I’m neither that old nor that formal yet.”
Mom gives her a polite smile.
“There’s information I need to share with you.” Jade clears her throat. “I’ve been researching RCarz—the remote-control-car company—and I’ve learned that Dani’s accident wasn’t the first.”
My eyes snap into laser mode.
That can’t be true.
“What do you mean?” Mom asks, clasping her hands tightly.
“I did some digging and found that over the years RCarz has received numerous complaints, which range from smoke to sparks to small fires.” She pauses and my chest squeezes.
“If that toy car started all those fires, why was it still for sale?” Mom asks, her voice as sharp as glass.
“Not sure. I don’t have all the facts yet,” Jade says, tightening the scarf tied around her neck.
My world is spinning. None of this makes sense. “I thought the explosion was an accident,” I say. The room feels hot. Too hot. “Now you’re telling me this has happened before. The company knew their remote-control cars could start fires and did nothing about it?”
Silence ricochets off the walls.
No one moves.
My stomach drops.
“This is outrageous,” Mom says.
“Agreed,” says Jade, nodding.
Casey comes over and lays her head in my lap like she’s trying to protect me from stuff that’s unfair.
“What happens now?” I ask Jade.
“We unbury the truth. The company can’t hide forever.”
My brain floods with angry thoughts, and I wonder what’s worse: thinking that the explosion that derailed my life was a horrible accident or knowing that someone may have had the power to prevent it and didn’t.
39
Sticky Floor
Back at home I call Big Al’s Consignment Shop, where Dad bought our remote-control camper. I’m curious to know whether they’ve heard anything about these cars catching fire.
Big Al himself answers the phone. I ask him about the dangerous remote-control car and whether he knew about prior accidents or fires. His voice is deep. “Never heard about any trouble they were having with those cars. I wouldn’t have sold them if I knew.”
I keep going. I find another place that sells a different brand of remote-control cars and call them. A lady named Regina, who won’t give me her last name, says she heard about the fires with the RCarz and tells me that she doesn’t understand why they were even using those batteries. “I’m probably not supposed to be saying this, but there were newer lithium-ion batteries on the market at that time that were much safer. Pretty sure those batteries wouldn’t have blown everything up.”
I write down what she says as fast as I can so I can tell Jade what I found out.
I thank Regina and hang up, wondering why RCarz didn’t just use the better batteries.
Jade forwarded some emails to me, and I start to read them. The first is from a guy who works in the engineering department of RCarz. No idea how Jade got this, but I assume it’s another investigative reporter thing. It’s dated well before the fire that hurt Dani.
To: Charles Baniker
Re: safety issue with remote-control cars
Charles,
After testing and research, I recommend that we switch to the newly designed lithium-ion batteries for our remote-control cars. They’re safer. They won’t overheat. Much lower fire potential.
Reggie Masters
Chief Engineer
RCarz
100 Pioneer Way
Seattle, WA
The next email is the reply from the head of the company.
To: Reggie Masters
Re: safety issue with remote-control cars
Reggie,
Hold off on any safety changes at this time as the newly designed batteries are too expensive.
Charles Baniker
President
RCarz
100 Pioneer Way
Seattle, WA
RCarz knew the batteries were dangerous. And chose to use them anyway.
* * *
The next morning I wake with my sheets twisted around my legs and my blanket on the floor. I roll over and realize it’s Wednesday. Jade’s podcast dropped this morning.
I turn up the volume. Jade’s radio voice sounds louder and more in charge than her normal, walking-around-the-neighborhood voice. She starts with my interview, where I tell her what happened that morning. My eyes sting. Then she jumps right in: “RCarz knew the specific lithium-ion batteries in the remote-control cars could overheat and start a fire but decided that a redesign of the product would cost more than dealing with a few lawsuits from injured users. Apparently this is called bean counting. Don’t know about you, but as a fellow human, I’m pretty horrified. Despite contrary findings by the fire investigation, RCarz continues to deny responsibility for the accident.”
Before signing off, she acknowledges the “fine contributions of Eric Stein.”
I wish I could run over to Dani’s house and talk to her about the show, but I can’t. Not anymore. I’m doing my part to get the company to stop selling the defective toy car. But I’ve accepted that there’s no going back for Dani and me.
She’s changed.
And so have I.
40
Forever People
Mom and I are going to the Cape. It was my idea. I want to remember what I loved about the place. About me. I’m kind of scared the accident squeezed out all the good stuff.
Before we leave, I pick up a framed photo of Gigi and me at a Red Sox game. I stare at her face and can almost hear her giant laugh. It makes me wonder how you know which people in your life are your forever people. Sometimes they surprise you. Like the people you think will be here for always leave too soon, and the ones you thought might bail stick around.
I put down the photo, hook the bag Mom helped me pack onto my back, and use the walker to get to the car. Slow and steady. Just the way I’ve been practicing with Waylan. I’m almost able to walk across the parallel bars.
This time the ride to the Cape is not filled with baseball stats or Mr. Stein’s classic rock music. It’s filled with my thoughts and Casey’s snores.
As we cross over the Sagamore Bridge, I don’t look at my phone. I close my eyes. I want to feel the breeze kissing my cheeks. I want to smell the ocean air. I want to remember the part of me that loved this place.
Instead, I just feel numb and angry.
“Hungry?” Mom asks, startling me.
“Sure,” I say.
We pull into the parking lot of Bayview, one of my favorite Cape restaurants, and Casey licks my face. Ever since I came home from the hospital, she’s been following me everywhere. I think she’s watching over me. Kind of like Gigi. I haven’t told anyone this, but the other day when I was sitting in Gigi’s room and rubbing between Casey’s ears, she looked up at me with her beautiful gray eyes and I swear I saw Gigi. It was like she was looking at me through Casey. I know this sounds completely crazy. I never really bought into the whole reincarnation thing, but in that moment I felt my grandmother’s presence. I had goosebumps all up my arms. I was about to say something. Like, I love you. I miss you. Is that you?
Then Casey sneezed and the feeling disappeared.
We’ve been eating at Bayview since I was little. It’s next to a cranberry bog and makes the best Cape Codder sandwich, with turkey, stuffing, homemade cranberry sauce, and gravy. We get a table outside, right in front of a birdhouse shaped like a castle, and when the waitress comes over, we order two Cape Codders.
“Jade’s story is going to make a difference,” Mom says, drinking her cranberry seltzer. “It’ll be hard for the company to ignore the podcast. I’m proud that you talked to her. I know that sharing so publicly, getting the story out there so it will make a difference for others, wasn’t easy.” She rests her hand on my back.
It feels good. And as much as I want to freeze this moment, it’s not mine to keep.
“It was really all Eric. I may have been the one to speak to Jade, but Eric set it all in motion. He stepped up in a big way.” I pause. “And never bailed.”
Even when I let Meadow call him a loser.
Even when he wasn’t invited to my party.
Even when I was a jerk.
I twirl his lucky coin in my pocket.
A blue jay sits on the castle feeder and looks at me likes she’s listening to my heart. She bobs her head and hops onto the back of my chair. Stares at me, then flies away.
When we’re done, I want to go to Mayflower Beach. It’s low tide. We park but don’t go out onto the powdery sand. It’s too unsteady for me to walk on yet. But from the parking lot I can see the stretch of milky beach. Casey barks at the dogs swimming in the ocean. I notice two kids fishing and remember this one time when Eric and I were in fourth grade. We tied a piece of cooked chicken to a string that we hooked to a clothespin and dangled from the jetty. We waited all afternoon for something to bite. Ended up catching a crab and an old boot.
That feels like a different lifetime, a different place, a different Cape.
When we leave, I ask Mom to head to Scargo Lake. I stare out at the lake that’s oddly shaped like a fish. Eric and I spent so much time stomping through the marshy bottom here, holding our nets and catching and releasing tadpoles in the reeds. We even named one Zipper, and each time we found a tadpole, we were sure that it was him.
We watch the sun set over the lake. Then Mom turns to me: “Why did you want to come here today? I mean, I love a great Cape Codder, but it’s a long way to drive for a sandwich.” She smiles.
“I wanted to remember the good stuff about the Cape.” I pause. “And about me. You know, before—”
—the accident.
Before I messed up everything.
Before. Before. Before.
“Did it help?” Mom asks.
I nod.
On the way home I ask my mom to make one last stop at Lulu’s Gift Emporium, where I pick out a blue Cape Cod sea glass charm for my no-longer-empty bracelet.
