Wolf: To Your Bones (Wolf series Book 2), page 12
“Should we get out?” Josh sounded helpless. I felt no different, so I pushed the door open and stepped back onto the driveway. The air smelled of mown grass and the exhaust fumes of a caravan of vehicles that was passing by on the main road.
“Ruby.” Josh stepped out and rested his arms on the roof. He bedded his chin on them and watched me.
“I shouldn’t have made you do it,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
I shook my head.
“I wanted to try.” I sighed in frustration. “But it just won’t work.”
Josh approached me. He was nibbling at his lower lip. He carefully put his arms around my shoulders. I pressed my forehead against the crook of his neck, where a completely relaxed pulse was beating. That managed to calm me a bit.
“Maybe next time,” Josh said optimistically. He wanted to comfort me and had quickly shaken off his disappointment. I couldn’t have been more grateful to him.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “It’s not because of you. Really.”
He kissed me on the forehead.
“I know,” he said. “So, what now?”
I looked up at him. At first, I didn’t know what he meant. Then he pointed to the car.
“We don’t have to leave.” He shrugged and grinned. “We can camp in my garden.”
He was incredible. Everything about him. No matter how unhappy I may be, Josh always found a way to lighten the mood. Instead of answering, I hugged him again, much tighter than before.
“No,” I said. “I want to go away with you. Let’s take the wolf express.”
“Are you sure?” he said near my ear. “It’ll be almost two hours and the luggage . . .”
I shook my head once more.
“Never mind.” I smiled. “I like riding on your back.”
My words were enough to rekindle his spirits. The glow returned to his eyes before he hurried to the trunk. “Give me five minutes.”
I’d never sat on the back of the hybrid for so long before. Today Josh had to pace himself, so he crossed the woods in a quick, predictable march. That made it easier to hold on to him, because it didn’t rock me so hard. We had repacked the backpacks and reduced their contents to one, which I now carried on my back. The tent and the sleeping bag lay rolled up under me. Not very comfortable, but practical. It was too cool, after all, to sleep under the open sky.
I enjoyed the view. The deeper Josh went into the woods, the denser the trees stood. They looked like toothpicks compared to the massive trunks that later welcomed us. Thick moss grew on the bark. This was the wilderness. There was no trace of people—no footpaths, no trash. Only the dense forest, the thicket, and the slopes of hills and nearby mountains. Josh’s intimidating form drove most of the animals away, but every now and then I managed to catch a glimpse of deer scurrying by.
“How do you know which way to go?” I asked at some point. I was able to sit up a little as Josh wasn’t running. When he did run, I had to lie still so that the wind wouldn’t take away my balance. “Are you following a smell?”
A yip left Josh’s mouth. It scared a flock of birds that had been sitting over our heads. It wasn’t a clear yes, according to my interpretation of the sounds of the wolf. Josh probably remembered where he had run to at the time and was supporting his visual memory with his sense of smell. It made me wonder once again what the world must look like from the eyes of the hybrid.
As he made his way through the undergrowth, I breathed the fresh air and found relaxation. It was crazy that I felt safer on the back of a horse-sized wolf than in a car, but even if I were fine with cars, I still wouldn’t have swapped.
We wandered through the forest until we found a river to rest. It gave me the opportunity to ease my rump, which had been complaining about Josh’s spine for a while. The sky was deep blue and covered with soft clouds. The perfect weather for a camping trip.
“The tent is waterproof, isn’t it? Just in case.”
The humming in Josh’s throat sounded like he was laughing at me. He shook his fur and stepped beside me to take a look into my eyes. I was standing on a slope, but Josh was still taller than me by more than a head. His huge chest sent a vibration through my body with every breath. It was madness. This scenery—and him. A giant wolf in the middle of the Canadian forests. I could’ve spun dozens of stories just from this one picture. Josh looked like a mythical creature from another world. His light coat formed a unique contrast to the brown and green tones of the surroundings. He let nature and even the sun fade under his sight.
Instead of enjoying an area I had never been to before, I watched Josh until he bent his back again. It was time to go the rest of the way to the campsite.
It took quite a while before we found the right place. We had reached the top of a huge hill, which was as densely wooded as the way here had been. Josh had chosen it as our campsite and really hadn’t told me much. After the hybrid let me off his back, the view took my breath away. I just stood there and looked into the valley that was stretching out in front of us. A vast ocean of green. So many treetops towered up that it was impossible to count them. In the meantime, the sun had wandered and was bathing the surroundings in a pale, barely visible orange. It would soon be evening. We were greeted by the promising glitter of water from the other side of the hill. The lake was about a kilometer away, so the mosquitoes wouldn’t eat us up tonight.
“Should I help you?” I asked, as Josh was already setting up the tent. He made it look incredibly simple. He had sorted the parts and had already half built the contraption. That impressed me. “How do you know how to do that?”
Josh chuckled. “My adoptive parents like camping. Especially Ben.”
“I see,” I replied. “So they went on vacation with you a lot?”
Josh raised his shoulders. “I guess it wasn’t exactly a vacation, but we often went to the woods on weekends. I found it convenient.”
He smiled crookedly.
“I didn’t break anything there.”
While I listened to him, I got down on my knees. It was a pleasant feeling to be able to move freely again. Liam had removed my stitches two days ago and officially declared me healthy—as far as we knew. It had taken some effort to keep the whole thing secret from my parents. That was over now, though, because I had been very lucky. Neither the joint nor my tendons had been damaged, almost as if the werewolf had actually tried to let me live. Or maybe it was just luck. I’d probably never know. I had tried with ointments to do something against the purple coloring of the scar, but according to Liam, it was irreversible. If I didn’t want to wear a turtleneck forever, I would soon have to think up a story about how this strangely discolored spot came about.
“Is it always this hard?” I said, lost in thought. “Being a werewolf?”
Josh peeked over the tent as he answered.
“I don’t know,” he confessed. “I had problems with the hybrid at first too. I couldn’t control the transformations.”
His gaze wandered into the valley, to where the lake was waiting for us to explore.
“It could be that normal werewolves have it easier.”
His words made me smile. When we first met, Josh had been ashamed of the hybrid. He had only learned to accept himself for who he was last year. That he could turn into two kinds of wolves made Josh special—at least I thought so.
I raised my hand to touch his cheek. “Are you tired? Or do you still have energy for a trip to the lake?”
He noticed I was teasing him, so he dropped the tent poles and cracked his knuckles.
“I guess I could do that,” he said with a laugh.
Chapter 10
We spent the afternoon next to the lake. Its surface was so clear that I could see the fish in it, and it reflected the sun and the sky above our heads. It was already too cold to swim, but that didn’t matter. Josh and I sat on the shore, watched the cliffs, and ate the provisions we had brought—grapes, sandwiches, and chocolate bars. Here in the mountains, it seemed almost frighteningly quiet compared to the sounds of Shatterlake. There were no cars, no lawnmowers, and no mumbling passersby. Just the soft splashing of the water, accompanied by the chirping of distant birds. It was total solitude and absolute idyll. I couldn’t remember ever having enjoyed nature so much. It was just . . . here, alive and asking for nothing. The calm so automatically took the stress off my shoulders that I now understood why Mr. Harrison sought the forests whenever he had time. It helped calm everything down. Out here, all problems seemed far away.
We stayed until the evening passed into night, and then Josh’s white-gray paws took us back through the forest to the campsite.
“You were right,” I admitted that night. “Camping is amazing.”
By now it had become pitch-black; thick clouds covered the stars. They plunged the entire environment into an impenetrable darkness. We had retreated into our tent—just Josh, me, and a battery-operated lamp from Dad’s garage. It shone just brightly enough to illuminate our little shelter.
There was something eerie about sleeping in a forest that was far larger than Shatterlake. It triggered my imagination. Who knew what kind of creatures lived here? A year ago, I had suddenly discovered that werewolves were real. Maybe they weren’t the only beings that had been hidden from the eyes of most humans.
That thought alone would probably have robbed me of sleep, but in Josh’s arms, it lost all threat. He made me feel safe. We seemed to be a universe of our own, far away from everything that lived out there. The scaffolding poles of the tent were our sky and the little moths were our stars.
Josh chuckled and kissed my forehead. “I’m glad you agree.” His hand ran a tender path along my spine. “Here you are free.”
I lay on the bend of his arm, warming myself against his skin and listening to his voice. I knew what he meant. Nature gave people a peace and quiet that they usually searched in vain in civilization—an inner peace.
“We could stay longer next time.” A smile flashed across the corner of his mouth. “But with the butane stove.”
His words made me laugh. The little stove had stayed at home this time because we couldn’t get it and the dishes into the backpack even with the strongest will in the world. So instead of cooking noodles, as the plan had actually been, we had to make do with canned ravioli. I knew how much Josh hated cold ravioli.
“Next time I’ll prepare something,” I promised. After all, there were a lot of foods that could lasted for a long time on a camping trip. I already had ideas. “You don’t have to starve.”
Josh grinned and pressed me closer to him.
“Thank you.” He was silent for a moment before he went on. “And if you really change, we could take shelter here on a full moon.”
I raised my head to look at him, so he shrugged his shoulders.
“Only at the beginning,” he said. “That way you won’t have the whole pack on your neck.”
As much as he had assured me not to believe that I was infected, Josh had apparently made his own plans for the emergency. I was grateful, but it also made me feel uneasy.
“If I were infected,” I whispered, “everything would change, wouldn’t it?”
Josh needed some time to respond.
“You wouldn’t get sick anymore,” he replied, very focused. “And you would have to take care from now on not to get angry. At least, not too angry.”
His eyes found mine. A lake even bluer than the one in the valley.
“Besides, you will still be you.”
I couldn’t answer that. I wasn’t sure. If I did turn into a werewolf, would I still be me? Or would the darkness of that creature destroy a part of my soul? I hadn’t known Josh or the pack before the infection. I just knew that Ian was in my head. I was afraid of becoming like him.
“Ruby.” Josh’s hand found my cheek, forcing me to keep looking at him. “Somebody told me something once.”
He smiled.
“It’s not important what you are, but who.”
I gasped. I saw it in front of me—the night of graduation, our dance, and Josh’s allergic reaction to my silver bracelet. With those words, I had tried to take away his doubts about not being normal enough for me. I would never have thought that they would one day apply to me as well.
Josh turned to get a better look at me. His breath touched my face.
“It doesn’t matter if you change or not. I will always be with you.” He frowned. “What you’re afraid of . . . What could happen to you . . .”
He shrugged his shoulders.
“I’ve been through it. I will help you. I’ll do everything I can to make it as easy as possible for you.”
I just gazed at him, not answering. Josh was right. He’d already been through all this. The transformation, the fear, the anger. This fate. It had thrown stones in his path, but it had not destroyed him. Despite all the things Josh had experienced in his life, he had become a wonderful person, someone with compassion, who protected his loved ones. The worst I could become was Ian—but the best I could become was Josh.
I decided to allow only one of these two directions.
“Josh . . .”
He shook his head.
“After I became a werewolf for the first time, I felt like I was disappearing. I was sure I’d become fully werewolf. I couldn’t think straight. Its instincts were so much stronger than my thoughts.” He didn’t take his eyes off me. “But I had you, Ruby. You always brought me back to the surface. No matter how deep I had sunk.”
My vision became blurred. I had to wipe the tears so they wouldn’t run down my cheeks. I didn’t want to cry, but I couldn’t help it. His words had touched me so deeply that I succumbed to the impulse to bury my face at his neck. It was just one sob that shook me. When Josh’s hands found my shoulders, it was over.
“If you ever get into the same situation,” Josh murmured, “I want to be that anchor for you, you know? Even if we’re both werewolves, we can still help each other.”
I nodded. It was the only answer I was capable of giving at that moment.
“Oh.” Josh chuckled to lighten the mood. “And we could join up on the full moon and thrash Keith.”
His suggestion released an abrupt snort from my throat. Then we both laughed so loudly that it echoed throughout the forest. It took me an eternity to stop laughing, but then I was struggling not to cry.
“Josh,” I eventually said. “Thank you.”
I left him no chance to look at me. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck—so tight that it had to hurt—and huddled up to him as if we would be separated otherwise.
“Thanks for being here.” My voice was barely audible. “I wouldn’t know how to survive without you.”
In that one year, Josh had become everything I needed. As long as he was with me, my blood flowed and the world kept its colors. No matter what would happen, Josh’s existence made every life worth living. It didn’t matter how old we were or how long we knew each other and whether or not I became a werewolf. All that mattered was our bond.
After listening to me, Josh returned my hug and buried his face in my shoulder. “Me too.”
It was early in the morning when we packed our things. While I stowed everything in the backpack, Josh made sure that the tent disappeared back into his bag. It had served us really well, even without the feared rain, and, as expected, it had been impossible for me to freeze so close to Josh. I wasn’t used to sleeping on the hard forest floor, though; my spine was complaining a little bit about that.
I stretched my back and took a look over the breathtaking scenery. The morning sun cast picturesque shadows through the valley. It let the green of the coniferous trees blur to watercolors and gave the surroundings the illumination of a painting.
“We can come back any time,” Josh said. He had finished packing and stood to put the backpack on me. I giggled and let him do it. Josh must have felt that I was longing not to have to say goodbye to the view.
“It’s not that far from Shatterlake.” He shrugged. “We could come here when I get off work and spend half the weekend.”
He leaned over to kiss me with vigor. The impending transformation was already sitting in his muscles and made them stiff.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Ready.”
The way back seemed faster to me, because there was more to see. On the back of the hybrid, I had a great view. The trees here were too dense to run too fast, so the big wolf walked down the slopes with slow steps. Some of the slopes were overgrown, while others consisted mainly of rock. As Josh moved forward, I leaned on his shoulder blades and watched his paws. They really looked like those of a wolf—claws, four toes, and real pads underneath. I loved looking back at their tracks in the mud. They were big enough for me to put a whole shoe in. Only the pawprints of the werewolves outshone them.
All around us, the wind gently set the forest branches in motion, spreading the smell of pine needles and now and then scaring up insects that buzzed around us. This beautiful time of year would soon be over. Winter was just around the corner. I could smell it in the air—this gradual, cold, autumnal aroma. We might actually have to postpone our next camping trip until next year.
Josh had me hop off of him before we reached his house. We didn’t want anyone to discover the hybrid. From here it was only a short walk to Wooden Lane, so the forest had become much thinner and allowed a view of the highway every now and then.
While I fished Josh’s clothes out of the backpack, he turned back into a human and sat up. “Thanks.”
I looked at him. The sunlight fought its way through the treetops and threw stripes on Josh’s muscles. His dark hair was getting out of control again as it began to curl at the ends. Hardly intense enough to be called curls, but they were well on their way. I loved it when the hair fell into his forehead. It made him look so harmless.
