Perfectly Accidental (Accidentally Perfect Book 2), page 8
“It’s less I was unwilling to give it and more I preferred to not be blind!”
“Oh, come on, Barlow. Think of the actual blind people in the world. I doubt they’ll take kindly to your complaining.”
She kept her eyes on me as her hand went to her pocket and I knew what she had planned. I gave her a crooked smile around the smoke in my mouth, then found myself blinking furiously.
“Okay. No. Fair. That is painful,” I laughed, rubbing my eyes.
“Ah, revenge is sweet,” she sassed and I couldn’t help laughing again.
“You at least seem in a better mood now,” I commented.
“I was in a bad mood before?” she asked, as though she hadn’t noticed.
I shrugged. “You seemed kinda…funky.”
“I wasn’t the only one.”
I nodded as looked over the lake. “No, you weren’t.”
“You seem less…funky now.”
She wasn’t wrong. “I am less funky now.”
She cleared her throat. “Um… Anything you want to talk about? Maddy’s…okay?”
While I was seeing new sides to her, it didn’t surprise me that, even when she was feeling funky, she was also looking out for other people. Even me, of all people.
“I’m not going to do you the disservice of telling you your life seems easy, Barlow. All I’ll say is that you probably know life isn’t always as simple as it can be made to look.”
“Fair enough,” she said with a nod. “If there’s anything I’ve learnt, it’s that no one’s life is ever as simple as you think.”
“Are you implying I have depths, Barlow?” I scoffed, thinking that was the stupidest piece of shit I’d ever heard.
“I wouldn’t dare tarnish your reputation.”
“In my experience, reputations are overrated.”
All they did was make people disappointed.
“Shall I go back to school and tell everyone you like unicorns and keep fuzzy pink dice in your truck?” she asked.
A laugh burst out of me at that surprise reply. “Okay, you’ve made your point. You have the power, my queen. Please, for the love of all things I hold dear–”
“Your dick for one?” she asked seamlessly.
All thought was shocked out of my head. I turned to look at her and knew I looked like a stunned mullet, complete with smoke hanging from my lips. I grabbed the smoke and snubbed in beside me, not taking my eyes off her.
“Who the hell are you?” I breathed, totally in awe of the young woman next to me.
She’d kept me at half mast since she’d opened her mouth that night, but I was at half mast no longer.
She buried her face in her knees and mumbled, “Sorry,” into them.
I huffed a laugh. “Oh no. None of that bullshit, Barlow. That was nothing to apologise for.”
“I shouldn’t have said it,” she whispered.
“Try saying something else uncomplimentary about me,” I prompted.
If this was Piper Barlow out of her box, I certainly had a preference. Not that I was going to tell her that.
Her head rolled to the side and she looked at me. “What?”
I nodded at her. “Go on. What would you say to me if you were going to be completely honest with me?”
She looked out over the lake, chewing her lip as she thought. “I don’t… Nothing. I wouldn’t say anything.”
I only partially believed her this time and knew I need to push some more buttons.
“True. You and your lack of spine would probably not say anything. If we – for one second – pretend that you do have a spine, what would you say?”
Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she breathed out in frustration. “You’re not very complimentary, yourself.”
“You don’t seem to like my compliments,” I reminded her.
“I… You don’t compliment me.”
I nodded. “Because you don’t like it.”
“Fine. You give me something complimentary and I’ll give you something uncomplimentary.”
I lit another smoke. If I was going to do this, I needed a little courage.
“All right. A proper compliment, hey?” I asked to stall for time.
There were so many things I could say to her. True and honest things. I wasn’t the kind of guy to compliment true and honest things. I’d tell a chick she was sexy. I’d tell her she made me hard. I’d tell her what her body did to me. Whatever was going to make her into spreading her legs for me.
This wasn’t one of those times.
I took a deep drag of my smoke and prepared for the nanciest words I think had ever passed my lips. “All right. Your eyes look crazy beautiful when you get embarrassed giggly. That’s the one time I see you these days.”
I expected some witty response. Some teasing about me being so…sincere. Ugh. But nothing. I felt her eyes on me, but couldn’t look at her.
“I’m waiting on this uncompliment, Barlow.”
“I’m going to need more before I let that pass as a compliment,” she finally said.
I huffed and lay back down. Weirdly, I didn’t mind expanding. Not for her. “In what way?”
She shrugged and leant her elbows on her knees. “Firstly, what’s embarrassed giggly?”
That’s all she wanted? I’d been prepared for…well, some more nancy wanker words. But that I could do.
“It’s when you find something funny but embarrassing at the same time–”
“How often do you have cause to be embarrassed?” she interrupted.
I smiled. “No, Barlow. It’s unique to you. I mean, probably not like only you in the whole world. But, it’s not a generic thing. You get like it when Hadley does something crazy–”
“Like when she called you beautiful the other day?” she suggested.
I laughed. “Yeah, like that. Like when I sing at you. And like those rare moments when you have a spine and say exactly what’s on your mind. Then you flush this cute shade of pink, you give this gorgeous little smile and your eyes fucking shine, Piper. It’s a beautiful thing to see, and it’s one time you’re really you.”
I felt like an utter nancy wanker and no mistake, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret saying those words to her. It felt like maybe all she needed was for someone to be real with her. I found that was something I could easily, unintentionally do.
Still she said nothing. I wondered if maybe I’d broken her.
“I know you’re totally flattered by my compliment, Barlow. But, I’m waiting on something scathing.”
“You know, you are so not as good as you think you are. Just because you’re demanding and smile nicely, doesn’t actually make you adorable. I have no idea why girls fall over themselves for you. You’re rude and obnoxious and seriously annoying–” She stuttered to a stop like she’d surprised herself. “No! What I meant was…”
I glared at her, wondering how far she’d keep going in the face of my lack of amusement.
“I mean, I’m sure you… I can see why…” She breathed out. “That is, you have… Of course you have…good… What?” she asked as I started laughing, unable to hold it any longer.
“Oh, and you were doing so well!” I crowed as I lay an arm behind my head. “Sure, it wasn’t exactly original. But it was unfiltered until the filter seemed to be stu…stu…stuttering back to life.”
She pushed against my leg playfully. “Shut up. There is nothing wrong with a filter, nothing wrong with civility and human decency.”
“No, Barlow. I don’t suppose there is. But there is such a thing as simpering. It’s a fine line to walk.”
“I think you left the line behind a long time ago, Lombardi.” Her arms spread wide. “Like, you are now so far past the line – out in the wilderness – that you’ll never find your way back.”
“Yeah, quite possibly. But at least you’ll never wonder what I’m really thinking.”
“Don’t pretend you care what I’m really thinking outside any entertainment I might give you.”
“I’m hurt, Barlow! How could you think I didn’t care?”
“Because you’re Roman Lombardi, resident underachiever, obnoxious delinquent, trouble-maker, and horrible flirt.”
I snorted. “Barlow, you insult me. I am a fantastic flirt, thank you.”
She looked back at me and granted me a smile. “Yes, I know. Hence, horrible.”
I nodded, fighting a smile of my own. “Oh, I see. Horrible in the sense I do it a lot, rather than describing my ability.”
“Yes, Lombardi.”
I sat up and bumped her shoulder with mine. I couldn’t have said if it was intentional or not. “Is that you admitting my flirting is fantastic?”
“That is me agreeing that we’re on the same page with that you flirt…” She paused. “I’ll admit a lot of girls seem to think you’re good at it.”
“But not you?”
I couldn’t honestly tell what she thought. I wasn’t intending to flirt with her, but I couldn’t help myself. She brought something out in me that would be very hard to deny was flirting.
“I wasn’t aware you actually tried to flirt with me. I’m not sure that mentioning you wanted to get into my pants one time counted as flirting. I assumed you were stating fact.”
Oh, I liked her like this. “Well, I suppose that’s not wrong.”
“Of course, your being here instead of using said flirting skills could be a testament to the fact all those stories about your flirting are trumped up exaggeration?” she suggested cheekily.
“Is that what you think?”
“I can only call it like I see it, Lombardi.”
I scoffed. “Yeah, righto. I suppose Carter’s full of witty flirtation.”
That seemed to turn off whatever light was making her shine. “Mason’s sincere–”
“And you think I’m not.”
“I never said that.”
“You were thinking it.”
“I assume it based on how many girls you seem to get through.”
Look, it was fair. But it was suddenly very important to me that she realised I could do sincere…if there was ever any need for it.
“Just because I share, does not make me insincere.”
“How sincere can you be when you move on right away?”
“I live in the moment, Barlow. Something I feel you need to learn more about.”
“There will be no inappropriate touching or fondling, Lombardi.”
“How about appropriate touching and fondling? I do a very good appropriate fondle.”
She looked at me and I threw her a wicked smile that she seemed incapable of not returning.
“I can never tell when you’re being serious or not,” she said softly
“Really?” I asked.
The last two nights, I’d felt like there was something between us. Nothing romantic, or anything as hideous as that. But an understanding. Like, of all the people in the world, we understood one another effortlessly. Like we clicked on some level that neither of us could make sense of.
As we looked at each other, I realised she was lying. She knew. She felt it, too. This pull or whatever it was.
“Really,” she replied as she rearranged.
“All right, then,” was all I’d say.
If she didn’t want to acknowledge this weird thing that was happening, I wasn’t going to be the one to make her. It was strange enough that I’d recognised it and hadn’t run for the closest hill. I was in no hurry to explore it or make it any more real than it already was.
Chapter Seven
Everyone’s Sassy Today.
She grinned at me while she shovelled noodles into her mouth. I knew two-minute noodles weren’t an appropriate lunch for a five-year-old. But what was I? A chef? She was getting food, that had to be enough for today.
I leant on the kitchen bench as I waited for her to finish. It took me less time to eat packet noodles than it did to cook them, but Maddy had already taken what felt like six years to eat half of them.
My head dropped on the bench, and I sighed. “How’s it going, Mads?”
“Good,” she said. “Can we go outside after?”
I nodded against the bench and forced myself to keep my cool. I was not cut out for babysitting. The whole thing was a fucking joke.
“Sure, Mads,” I said with forced joviality and pulled myself off the bench. “Outside is great.”
Not that I could smoke around her. So…not that great after all. Ugh. Fucking hell.
She smiled, but at least seemed to start eating faster. The next thing I knew, she was sliding off the stool – her head disappearing enough my stomach tried plummeting out of my arse for a second – and then was running outside.
“Fu– Wait!” I called. “Shoes.”
She swooped around and beelined for her bedroom.
It was still weird to think she had a bedroom in my house. Not the spare room that she was staying in, but her room. One full of stuffed animals and kids’ books and small clothes all over the floor, with pale pink walls and unicorn decals facing off against dinosaur astronaut decals. I personally thought the unicorns were winning.
“Shoes!” she yelled happily as she reappeared and burst out the back door.
“Shoes,” I half-heartedly mimicked to myself then dropped out the door after her.
She was already running around madly. I didn’t even think she had a plan. She just played. I couldn’t remember being that…free. I couldn’t remember playing like that in my childhood. Our house was always supposed to be quiet. Then, when quiet wasn’t a requirement anymore, sadness filled the place where happiness had once floundered.
I watched Maddy running around the lawn, getting perilously close to the tree line that marked where the woody scrub started. It was still our property, but I did not feel like tending to wounds because she fell on fuck knew what.
“Try to catch me, Uncie Roman!” she yelled as she ran past me.
I was pretty sure that the trying was the point here, not the succeeding. Even so, the next time she ran by, I failed to catch her even though I was trying.
“Mads! Come on!” I called as she veered a little too close to the trees again.
I stretched, but it did nothing to ease the extreme discomfort in every single piece of my being. As I rolled my head, I saw Piper hanging out her window, watching us with a soft smile on her face.
Seeing her suddenly made being in charge of a small human ever so less taxing than it had just felt. I gave her a small smile in return, pointed at Maddy so she knew why I was just standing around uselessly in my yard, and shrugged.
Piper bit her lip like she was trying not to laugh and shook her head with shrug like she was sorry. Whether she was sorry she couldn’t help or didn’t know what was going on, I wasn’t sure and it honestly didn’t really matter. But my return look implied she wasn’t very helpful at all. A smile bloomed to life across her face and something in me kicked. She closed the window and I shrugged again in a ‘what the fuck?’ but she held a hand to me like she wanted me to wait.
The next thing, she was jogging out her back door. She wore jeans and a long cardigan that I was sure was more fashionable than I’d be able to make it sound. Her hair was up in a ponytail with whisps framing her face that she brushed back as she strode over to me. She wore that warm smile as though she was actually pleased to see me. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at me like that.
“Is she a plane or a fairy?” Piper asked and I realised she was talking about Maddy.
I turned to look at my niece and saw her running around with her arms spread to either side of her. “No fucking clue.”
“And you…?”
I guessed Piper had seen me fail to catch her. “She’s fast, okay?”
Her smile widened. “I’m not judging.”
“You so were. I saw you up there.”
She coughed like she was covering a laugh. “Does she know what she’s doing?”
“Do they ever?”
“Uncie Roman, look!” Maddy giggled as she threw herself on the ground. I had no idea what she was doing, but Piper spluttered a laugh.
Fuck, but this was not my purview. I reached into my pocket for a smoke, remembered I was babysitting, and pulled it back out empty. “Shut up,” I told Piper.
“I didn’t say anything.”
But she wanted to. Thank fuck, she wanted to. “Shut up,” I repeated, wishing she could and would.
“No, it’s actually adorable.”
Well, that wasn’t what I’d wanted to be on her mind. That way lay danger. For everyone involved.
“Yeah, of course it is,” I muttered.
“Did you see?” Maddy called.
I looked at her and found her glaring at me with her hands on her hips.
I swallowed hard. “I saw. It was great!” I called back, then looked at Piper to check if it had been great or not, while simultaneously encouraging her to keep her mouth shut at my ‘Uncie Roman’ voice.
“Don’t ask me. I don’t have small children in my life,” Piper chuckled.
A growl legitimately escaped me, and I had to hurriedly change it to a laugh as Maddy ran up to us. She frowned up at Piper with that unnerving way that kids have of seeing right into the very pit of your soul.
Piper didn’t seem fazed. “Hi,” she said with a welcoming smile.
“Who are you?” Maddy asked.
“Uh, Piper.” She pointed at her house. “I live next door.”
Maddy’s eyes swivelled from me to Piper like she was puzzling something out. She finally smiled warmly and stuck her hand to Piper. “I’m Maddy.”
Piper took her hand with a nod. “Nice to meet you. Roman…mentioned you.”
“Are you Uncie Roman’s girlfriend?” Maddy blurted out and I honest to fuck choked.
“Uh, no,” Piper said slowly, and I felt…something about that or just the way she said it. “But we go to school together.”
Maddy nodded. “I’m going to school next term.”
Piper was nothing but lovely to this nosey arse five-year-old. “That’s pretty cool.”
