A Lady Newspaperman's Dilemma, page 17
“Right now it is.”
Adam shook his head and sat up.
“Where’s my piece? Or did you manage to gobble them both already?”
I gave him a playful smack on his arm and handed him a thick slice of spice cake. He grabbed my hand and kissed the inside of my wrist.
“Thanks.” He looked into my eyes, and cradled my hand in his.
Thank goodness I have a horse. My legs are too wobbly to walk.
Lunch finished, we shoved all the debris back into the saddlebag. Adam lay down and placed his hat over his face to block out the sun.
“Think I’ll catch forty winks.”
“Okay. I’m going exploring.”
He lifted his hat and said, “Don’t go too far. I don’t want to spend the afternoon looking for you.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t get lost. I just want a closer look at that old cabin we passed.”
“I don’t know why. It’s ready to fall down, but okay. Just keep this stand of trees in sight.”
“And you say Martha worries too much.”
Chapter 30
I walked over to Midnight, untied him, and looked at Adam, already back under his hat, hands clasped on his stomach. I guided Midnight out of the copse and decided to trot down to the ice break to let him have a drink.
The opening wasn’t very large yet and the cattle pushed at each other to reach the water. I gave Midnight his head to find an opening. He wisely stayed at the very edge of the herd, managing to drink from the narrowest slit of water between the riverbank and the ice. While he lapped up his fill, I daydreamed about Adam and me.
I didn’t know what to think about how he made me feel. Since I was a little girl, all I ever wanted to do was be a reporter in a big city. Now this cowboy had my head turned upside down. I knew he’d never give up his ranch. But could I be happy here? Could I keep working for the Star? Could I have both Adam and a career?
Every time I was near him, an electric current ran through my body, igniting every nerve, twitching every muscle. I thought about the kiss I shared with Jimmy the previous night. It was warm and soft, like cuddling up under a fluffy comforter in front of a fire. Adam’s kisses were explosions, setting me on fire.
I completely lost myself in my imaginings of a life with Adam. I could myself working with Martha in the kitchen, making Adam’s favorite meals, while our kids ran around the yard, dogs and chickens everywhere. But that would mean no more reporting, no career, no Pulitzer Prize. I’d have to give up everything I ever dreamed about. Could I?
I shook my head to clear away the fantasies of what Adam’s kisses could lead to.
Time to stop fantasizing and go see that cabin.
I tried to steer Midnight around, but saw we were surrounded by cattle. Unwilling to wait their turn, some of them had stomped their hooves through the thinning ice at the river’s edge to open it up further. Midnight and I were an island in a sea of cattle that were becoming more and more anxious to get a drink. Their lowing cries became louder. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t heard them through my daydream.
I tried to back Midnight up but he refused to move, his head swinging wildly back and forth, his eyes rolling around, wide in panic. We were trapped. I rubbed his neck, trying desperately to keep him calm while working to squelch the fear racing through me.
Come on, Alex. Use your head. There’s got to be a way out of this herd.
I yanked my foot out of the stirrup and pushed against the closest beast. It was like a fly trying to knock down a wall. I could feel Midnight becoming more agitated as the herd pushed against us and each other. My heart pumped faster as the cattle squeezed against my legs.
I didn’t dare go forward across the river. I didn’t know if the ice would hold us, or if Midnight would be willing to try such an escape. The stench of the cattle’s dung nauseated me. I could feel my panic rising, which I knew would transmit to Midnight and make matters worse.
Maybe if I fired a shot in the air, the cattle would startle and shift.
Or stampede.
Before I could do anything, a whip cracked. Adam was at the edge of the herd, sending them back away from the river, and me. Begrudgingly, they gave in and retreated as Adam plowed through them, cracking his whip at any stubborn ones. As soon as he got close enough, he grabbed the reins and pulled Midnight toward him and away from the herd.
“Get out of here!” he said, and tossed the reins back to me.
I pointed Midnight back to the copse of cottonwoods and galloped to them, Adam following.
As soon as I was safely away from the herd, I slowed down. Adam rode up next to me.
“What the hell were you thinking?” he roared. “Don’t you know they could have crushed you and Midnight to death?”
My whole body was trembling from the incident, and now, from Adam’s wrath. My usual cocky attitude evaporated and I burst into tears. Great heaving sobs wracked my body.
Adam jumped down from his horse, dragged me off Midnight, and drew me into his arms. He rubbed my back and kept saying, “Shhh, you’re safe now . . . shhh.”
Gradually my sobs changed to whimpers and hiccups. I clung to Adam like a drowning man grasping a piece of driftwood. Adam stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. I looked up at him and saw such tender concern in his eyes that my legs didn’t feel like they could hold me up any longer.
“You’d better sit for a minute,” he said, and lowered me to the ground. He sat next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “You gave me quite a scare, Alex.”
“I scared myself,” I said.
“Why did you think you could push your way through that pack and be able to get out whenever you pleased?”
“That’s not how it happened.”
I explained everything to him and he listened carefully. Obviously, he was evaluating whether or not he would need to keep hauling water. In a way, that made me mad. I could’ve been killed, but he was thinking more about the workings of his ranch.
But that wasn’t fair. I was safe, thanks to him. He was right to look ahead to what needed to be done next.
We sat for a while, my head tucked under his chin.
“Feeling better?” he asked.
I looked at him. “Much. I’m sorry, Adam. I don’t mean to be so much trouble.”
“It’s okay. I should have known better than to let a city gal take off on her own like that,” he said, that familiar little smirk sneaking across his face.
“I am not a city girl,” I said, smacking his chest. “You’re so infuriating. And wipe that silly grin off your face.”
Adam burst out laughing.
“A minute ago, I was your knight in shining armor. Now you look like you’d like to throw me in that river.”
“And I would, if it wasn’t covered in ice.”
Adam pulled me closer and kissed me. All thoughts of throwing him anywhere other than into my bed disappeared.
“We should probably head home,” he said, drawing away from me.
“I wish we didn’t have to.”
“So do I. But we do.”
He stood, reached out for my hand, and pulled me up into his arms.
“We really have to get going or Martha will send out a search party,” he whispered in my ear, kissing my neck the whole time.
“If you don’t stop, I’ll never leave this spot. I don’t care who comes looking for us.”
I grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him firmly on the lips. “Now, stop tempting me and get on your horse.”
Chapter 31
On our way back to the ranch house, we passed the cabin I had originally planned to explore. I pointed it out to Adam and suggested we ride over to take a look at it.
“Why?” he asked.
“I’m curious, that’s all.”
He hesitated, then turned his horse off the path and headed toward the ruin.
It wasn’t in the best shape, but better than I expected. There were gaps in the mud mixture originally sandwiched between the logs where sunlight danced through, lighting up the dust mites. The roof seemed intact and solid, although a good rain might prove me wrong. The greased paper that had originally covered the window openings hung in tatters, held together by cobwebs. The dirt floor was covered in dead vegetation, with a few pieces of bone or rocks scattered around. The stone fireplace would probably still work, but I wasn’t sure what the chimney looked like. A table and stool had survived, along with a few pieces of chipped or broken plates and cups. But, most importantly, there was a bed along the far wall. The mattress had been chewed at. Stuffing hung out and covered the floor all around it, but the frame was solid.
Adam looked at me. “Seen enough?”
“I’ve seen enough to know that this could be a perfect little rendezvous spot.”
“What are you playing at, Alex?”
“I’m not playing Adam. I mean it. The mattress is useless, but that could be replaced. Or we could just throw a bedroll on top of it.”
“You’re not serious, are you?”
“Why not?” I looked at him. His face had drained of all color.
Oh no. Could I have this all wrong? Doesn’t he feel the same way I do? I’m such a fool.
The blood rushed to my face. I ran out of the cabin and jumped on Midnight, wishing I could disappear, but I didn’t even know which direction led back to town.
Adam was beside me in a second, grabbing Midnight’s bridle.
“Just point me in the right direction and I’ll get out of your sight,” I said.
“Alex, get down. Please.”
I didn’t want to, but he looked so pitiful standing there.
I stood in front of him and stared at the ground. I couldn’t look at those eyes again. I was ashamed of myself. I was sure he thought I was no more than a floozy.
Adam grabbed me by the shoulders.
“Look at me,” he said. “I don’t want to say this to the top of your head.”
I looked up, but through my tears, he was a wavy watery image.
“Alex—it’s not that I don’t want you. I’ve probably never wanted anyone this badly before. But not like this. Not in some animal infested shack. I want our first time together to be perfect. Something we’ll always remember because it was beautiful, not because we fought off the mice and won. And I don’t want to be sneaky, like what we’re doing is wrong or dirty. It won’t be wrong. It’ll be something we both want more than anything else in the world.” He took a deep breath, then said, “Unless it doesn’t mean that much to you.”
I couldn’t stop myself. I burst out crying.
Adam pulled me close.
“Adam,” I finally blurted out, “what you said was so beautiful. And it does mean as much to me. It’s just that I don’t want to wait.”
He tilted my chin up from his chest.
“You know what they say, the best things in life are worth waiting for. So, can you be a good little girl and be patient for a while longer? Maybe you won’t even like me very much when you get to know me better. I’m not always this charming, you know.”
“I already know that, but I like you anyway.”
“That sounds more like the brat I’ve come to know.”
“What? Brat—”
But I never finished. My words were swallowed by Adam’s lips.
One thing I did know. If he kept kissing me like this, my patience was going to be very short-lived.
For the rest of the slow ride back to Adam’s house, we talked about his ranch and the plans he had for its future. He wanted to add sheep to his livestock line. He had the acreage to do that, and income from the wool could be set aside toward future building improvements and updates without diminishing the flock.
As he laid out the plans he had, I saw Adam was a realistic and practical businessman, not just someone who had inherited a well-run and profitable ranch. It made me wonder even more if he’d ever be willing to leave this place, even for a little while.
We led our horses into the barn just as the sun started its descent. I began to unsaddle Midnight, but Adam told me he’d have one of his men take care of both horses.
“We’d better get inside and get cleaned up for dinner before Martha has my head on a platter,” Adam said. “I didn’t realize it was so late.”
“But, it was a great day,” I said.
“Sure was,” he said, and gave me a quick kiss before we headed into the house.
Adam spotted one of his ranch hands and called over to ask him if he could have someone see to the horses. The man, Bill, said he’d be happy to do it, so, that taken care of, we went to face Martha.
“It’s about time you brought Alex back,” she said as soon as we stepped into the kitchen. “The poor girl must be starving by now. And sick of listening to you talk about this ranch.”
“I’m okay,” I said. “Our lunch was enough to keep me full. And it was delicious.”
“Glad you enjoyed it,” Martha said. “Now you two get washed up. Dinner’s all ready. The men have eaten, but Clint waited to eat with us.”
“Good.” Adam gave Martha a peck on the cheek. “You weren’t really worried about me, were you?” he teased.
“Not about you,” she said, stirring something in a pot on the stove. “About Alex. I told you I didn’t want you keeping her out after dark.”
“And we made it back,” Adam said, “in plenty of time.”
Martha shook her head and sighed. “Go wash up.”
I could tell Martha was much more than a housekeeper. More like his mom. She obviously loved him like a son.
As I headed down the hallway to the washroom, I thought about the events of the day. I felt like something inside me had changed, although I didn’t know what to make of it.
Could I change my dreams for new ones and still be happy?
When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I couldn’t believe how dusty and grimy I looked. I scrubbed my filthy face and hands until they shined. So much for makeup. Even though I had kept Martha’s hat on the whole day, the tip of my nose and my cheeks had picked up a little color from the sun. I left the hat on a hook behind the door and went back to the kitchen.
As I walked down the hallway, I heard Martha and a man whispering to each other. I thought I heard my name, so I coughed a little before entering the kitchen.
“All freshened up?” Martha asked.
“Yes, thanks. I left your hat on the hook behind the door. Thanks for the loan.”
“You’re more than welcome. Alex, this is Clint, our foreman.”
“Pleased to meet you,” he said, walking over to shake my hand.
“It’s my pleasure. Adam’s told me a lot about you.” I looked up into his deep brown eyes. He was as tall as Adam, broad shouldered, with jet black hair, prominent cheekbones, and a tan that only enhanced his weather-beaten face. He looked to be in his fifties, maybe a shade younger than Martha.
“Now don’t you go believing everything he says,” Clint said.
“What shouldn’t Alex believe?” Adam asked, walking into the room.
“Anything you say,” Clint said.
“More like anything you say,” Adam said.
“Both of you,” Martha said, “stop it, and sit at the table before this dinner isn’t worth eating.”
“Yes, ma’am,” they said in unison.
“Alex, you can sit on the far side,” Martha said. “I need to be able to get up and down.”
I went where I was directed, Adam sat next to me, and Clint sat opposite me.
“Adam, I forgot, you need to get the meat out of the oven for me,” Martha said.
He jumped up and did as he was told.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I should have asked if I could help.”
“Don’t be silly,” Martha said. “You’re a guest. You can sit and chat with Clint. Adam here’ll be all the help I need.”
I looked across the table. Clint was evaluating me in the silent way that only someone who spends most of his time with cattle, away from other people, can do.
“This is a great ranch,” I said.
“Yup,” Clint said.
“We rode around quite a bit today.” I fiddled with my napkin, trying to think of something I could say that would require more than a one word answer. “Adam sure knows how to handle his cows. Good thing, too, since I got myself stuck in the middle of the herd and thought they’d crush—”
A dish crashed onto the slate floor.
I looked up and saw that Martha’s face had turned white as the ice on the river. Even Clint’s face seemed pale.
“It’s all right, Martha,” Adam said. “Nothing happened.”
“How could you let her get into a situation like that?” Martha asked, scowling at him.
“It was my own fault,” I said. “I wasn’t thinking.”
“What happened?” Clint asked, a frown across his face.
I told him the whole story while Adam cleaned up the broken dish.
“It was my stupidity,” I said. “I should’ve known better.”
“You’re just not used to being around cattle,” Adam said, absorbed in getting all the bits of crockery off the floor. “They’re pretty dumb animals. You were where they wanted to be, so they figured they’d push you out of the way.”
“Well, I’m fine, so no harm done,” I said. I looked at Martha. Some color was creeping back to her face and Clint looked better as well. “I’m sorry I upset everyone.”
“No, no you didn’t. I’m just a butterfingers today, that’s all,” Martha said.
The atmosphere in the room was definitely more subdued.
Clint got up, went over to Martha, and rubbed her back. He whispered something to her and she nodded her head. Then I remembered what Joe had told me about Adam’s family and the stampede.
Damn. I’m an idiot. Of course everyone’s upset. How stupid can I be?
