A Lady Newspaperman's Dilemma, page 15
“I don’t know, but you’ll have to decide what you really want to do sooner or later, or your whole life will fly by and you won’t have accomplished anything. You’ve got to take a chance and hope for the best.”
I stared into my beer, tears brimming my eyes.
“How about another?” Jimmy asked, jumping up from our table.
“Sure.” I smiled up at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pile all my worries and doubts on you.”
“Hey, that’s what friends are for.” He grabbed my empty glass and headed to the bar.
By the time he came back, I had shaken off my black mood and was determined to keep the rest of the night light and upbeat.
“So, now that I’ve bored you with my problems, tell me, what keeps you here in your hometown?”
“That I can’t answer. When the army sent me home, it was the only thing I could think of. You know, coming home, having my parents and brothers and sisters around, being back with whatever friends were still here. It was comfortable. And I knew the hospital was here so I could get the medical attention I needed.”
“But you could leave now, couldn’t you?”
“I could, but I don’t know where I would go, or why. I don’t see anyone out there begging me to come work for them.”
“You could go to school. Become an architect, like you dream about.”
“No money, remember?”
“Oh, I’m so stupid—I almost forgot! That’s just it, Jimmy. I was over at the college today talking to the Dean and he told me about the American Legion and the US Federal Board for Vocational Education.”
“What’s that?” Jimmy leaned back and furrowed his forehead.
I told him about the paid tuition and the stipend. He frowned, rubbed his fingers up and down his glass.
“What do you think?” I asked.
“Is this real, or a joke?”
“It’s real, Jimmy. I wouldn’t make up something like that.”
He looked off toward the bar, and I took a gulp of my beer.
“You can go see the Dean and ask him about it.”
“Maybe. Maybe I’ll see what the American Legion knows first.”
“That’s a great idea. Then you can start to send applications to colleges that have architecture classes.”
“I don’t have to do that,” he said, finally looking back at me. “I already know where I want to go.” He eased out his chair and stood next to me. “How about another beer?” he asked, finishing what was left in his glass and reaching for mine.
He already knows where he wants to go to school?
A minute later, he set two fresh beers down on our table.
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense,” I said. “What school did you pick?”
“The Cooper Union in New York City,” he said, taking a big swig of his drink.
“New York?” I guess I yelled, because a few of the men turned and stared at us.
“You don’t have to let the whole town know.”
“Sorry. You took me by surprise. How long have you known you want to go there?”
“For years. The only thing stopping me is my train fare and some money to live on. But if this bill will pay a stipend, maybe I can swing it. And The Cooper Union is tuition free.”
“Free?!” Once again, everyone turned to stare.
“Could you please stop yelling? Yes, free. But they only accept people who they feel have real talent. I sent for all their information before I got drafted.”
Jimmy described their acceptance policy. After his application was approved, the school would send him three projects to work on, with deadlines. Once completed and returned, they’d be judged, and only the best designs would be admitted. I could feel his enthusiasm. He talked so fast that I had to keep asking him to slow down so I could understand what he was saying. His arms flailed around his head as he described some of his design ideas, building them in his mind as he talked. He was more animated than the cartoon we saw earlier that night.
Gee, if he gets accepted, I’ll probably never see him again. And I like him. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.
“Alex, I could kiss you for telling me about this new bill.”
“Well, why don’t you?”
He slid his chair around the table and squeezed it next to mine. Then he grabbed my face and gave me a long, lingering kiss. A couple of jerks at the bar started whistling and Jimmy’s face turned red as a radish. I could feel the heat racing across my face as well.
“Maybe we should leave,” I said.
“I guess we should.”
Jimmy finished his beer and stood. I took another swallow of mine just as Adam walked into the room.
Chapter 26
I think my heart stopped for a minute when I saw him. I know my face must have turned ashen, because Jimmy looked at me and said, “What’s the matter, Alex? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”
I forced my eyes away from Adam, who had stopped dead inside the entrance and stood staring at me.
“Nothing, Jimmy. Just thought of something I forgot to do today. I’m fine.”
Jimmy hovered over me, real concern on his face. “You sure you’re all right?”
“Fine. I’m fine.”
I pushed my chair back and stood, wishing the floor would open and swallow me whole. But of course that didn’t happen. Instead, we would have to walk right past Adam.
Jimmy turned around and spotted him.
“Hey, Adam’s here.” He strode over to shake Adam’s hand.
“Jimmy, Alex,” Adam said, touching the brim of his hat.
To say this was awkward would be putting it mildly.
Adam and Jimmy walked over to the bar, and I followed them.
Adam caught Pete’s eye and ordered a beer for himself, and “whatever these two folks are drinking.” I could feel my face burning and my legs shaking. I wished I could disappear.
Adam handed me a beer with that familiar smirk on his lips. I would have loved to toss my drink right in his face, but knew that would cause a scene even more embarrassing than this one.
“So, where have you two been tonight? Just here, or someplace else?”
“You don’t think we’ve spent the whole night swilling beer, do you?” I asked.
“Don’t know. Maybe. It’s been known to happen,” Adam said, eyes twinkling, a smug look creeping across his face.
Ohhh, I really could smack him. He knows I’m uncomfortable, and he’s reveling in it.
Jimmy told him about the movie, and although Adam paid attention, he kept throwing sideways glances at me.
“Did you enjoy it too, Alex?” Adam asked.
“It was great. Just what I needed after a week of Webb and his escapades.”
“Yup. Too bad nothing else went on this week to take your mind off him,” Adam said, and took a swig of his beer.
I could feel my face burning up. “It’s awfully warm in here, isn’t it?” I asked Jimmy, fanning my face with my clutch purse. “Could we leave, please? I have to get up early for work tomorrow.”
“Sure, Alex. I do too. No rest for the weary, huh, Adam?”
“So they say,” Adam said. He turned to me and asked, “You’re not off on Saturdays?”
“Actually, I’m not sure. But with Betty laid up and all, I figure I better go in and see what’s what.”
“Very conscientious,” Adam said.
I put my glass on the bar and said, “Good night, Adam. Nice to see you.”
He tipped his hat again, and I marched down the hallway and up the stairs, Jimmy trailing behind me.
Once we were in the street, I started walking to Edna’s house.
Jimmy grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop. “Why do I get the impression that you don’t like Adam? He’s a great guy, and a good friend.”
I tugged my arm away and kept walking.
Jimmy hurried to catch up with me. “What? Now you’re mad at me, too?”
“I’m not mad at anyone. He just annoys me. He’s always so smug, so . . . so superior.”
“Superior? Adam? You’ve got to be kidding. That’s definitely one thing he’s not. He’s the exact opposite. And he’d do anything for anybody. When I came back from overseas, I guess I wasn’t right in the head or something, I don’t know. I just know I was fighting with everyone. My parents. My brothers and sisters. My doctor. Anyone who talked to me.”
“I thought you said you were comfortable with them when you came home.”
“I thought I would be, and I am now, but I wasn’t when I first came home. Anyway, Adam saw how I was acting and asked if I’d like to come out to his ranch for a while. Said he could use a hand to fix up a few things, and he knew I liked to build stuff. I didn’t really believe him, but I wanted to get away from my family. My mom was driving me crazy, constantly checking up on me to see if I felt sick, or was hurting.
“Anyway, I wound up staying with Adam for a few months. I took my anger out on his barn. Must’ve hammered a thousand nails into the addition I built. I had to rely on his ranch hands to do the heavy lifting, but I designed it and did what I could to help. Between the construction and the target shooting we did together, I guess I pounded out all the demons that I’d brought home with me. I don’t know what would’ve happened to me, or where I’d be today, if Adam hadn’t done that.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. I thought about telling Jimmy I had had dinner with Adam, but decided not to. After all, I didn’t know if Adam would ask me out again, so why bring it up? And it was only part of the bike deal anyway. It’s not like it was a real date. Like tonight with Jimmy.
We stopped in front of Edna’s house and I said, “Maybe I’m wrong about Adam.”
“You are.” He pulled a cigarette from the pack in his shirt pocket and lit it. Smoke concealed his face.
I turned and started up the porch steps, but stopped.
“Jimmy, I had a really nice time tonight. I don’t want to end it with us fighting.”
Jimmy puffed on his cigarette and looked at me. “Neither do I, Alex. Let’s forget about it. Okay?”
“Okay.” I walked back down the steps and stood in front of him. “Can I give you a good night kiss?”
“You sure can.”
He tossed his cigarette on the ground and opened his arms. I stepped right into them and gave him a kiss I hoped he’d remember for the rest of the night.
Chapter 27
“Oh, Alex,” Edna said, “I was just going to bed. Your young man, Adam, was here. I left his message on your pillow.”
“Adam was here? Looking for me?”
“Yes, dear. Are you all right? You look so pale.”
“I’m fine. Thanks.” I felt my stomach drop.
I took the stairs two at a time. There on my pillow lay a folded sheet of notebook paper, which he probably got from Maureen or Edna. Now they’d both want to know what it said.
My hands trembled as I unfolded the note.
Alex,
Thought you might like to see my ranch since I talked about it so much the other night. If you’re interested, call me in the morning and I’ll drive into town to pick you up.
Under his name was a phone number.
Now I didn’t know what to do. I thought about my behavior at the bar earlier. For some reason, Adam seemed to bring out the worst side of me. I couldn’t help trying to best him in verbal combat, but it always seemed to backfire. And after seeing me with Jimmy tonight, he probably regretted leaving the note.
I decided a good night’s sleep would clear my head. I could figure out what to do in the morning. After all, I didn’t even know for sure if I’d have to work the next day.
I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed, a thousand scenarios racing through my mind. If I didn’t stop thinking about Adam and Jimmy, I’d never get to sleep. I turned over and forced my mind to think of happier events—like my wistful dream of winning a Pulitzer.
The next morning, I woke feeling refreshed and ready to take on the world. Until I saw Adam’s note on the night table. The simple truth was, I was terrified to call him. What if he hung up on me? What if he told his housekeeper to say he wasn’t home? Or worse. What if he asked me how I thought I could date Jimmy and him at the same time?
I realized I really wanted to see Adam again. Every time I saw him, electric shocks jolted through me. Something I’d never felt before with any other man, certainly not with Jimmy. Jimmy was more the cuddly teddy bear type, warm, comfortable, and safe. Adam was fireworks, bucking broncs, and bull rides. Two opposites. Each wonderful in his own way.
“Alex,” Maureen said, tapping on the door. “Are you up? Breakfast’s ready.”
“I’ll be down in a minute, Maureen.”
I heard her go downstairs so I ran into the bathroom and washed up. Back in my room I quickly dressed in dungarees, a blue chamois shirt, and boots. I folded a scarf into a headband, knotted it above my ear, and let the ends trail down. A little makeup and my shoulder bag, and I was set for the day—whatever it might bring.
After breakfast, I biked over to the paper. Neither Edna nor Maureen had asked about Adam’s note. Instead, they both wanted to hear about the movie. Thank goodness.
When I got to the paper, I walked into an eerily quiet newsroom. Pat wasn’t at the reception desk, and the only sound came from the birds outside the windows. Even the phones were silent. I checked my desk, but there were no assignments waiting for me. I heard a metallic noise and decided to go down to the basement where the presses were located to see if anyone was there.
“Hello,” I called into the room as I descended the metal stairway. Giant cylinders filled the space. They towered two or three feet over my head and gradually tapered down to the smallest ones, about three feet in diameter. Conveyer belts snaked around them and eventually out the loading dock door. Paper rolls ten feet across stood against the wall like soldiers waiting to be called to duty, to be transformed into messengers of all the good and bad news of the day. But right now, they were as still as a graveyard.
“Can I help you?” The words crackled in the air like radio static.
I must’ve jumped a foot off the floor.
“I’m sorry, miss. Did I frighten you?”
I grabbed the ice-cold metal railing and looked around. A man stood next to the largest print cylinder, wiping his hands on an oily rag. His thinning white hair gleamed in the sunlight streaming down from the ceiling-level windows.
“A little, I guess.” My hands clutched my chest and my heart thumped almost as loud as the presses when they were rolling.
“What are you doing down here?” he asked. “Paper’s closed today.”
“Oh. I’m Alex Lawson,” I said, walking over to him. “I’m the new reporter here.”
“Yup. Heard all about you. I’m Mac.”
We shook hands and stood awkwardly looking at each other.
“I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to come in today or not,” I said. “So, I did, just in case.”
Mac chuckled. “That’s Lou for ya. He thinks everyone knows the paper’s schedule. But, since you’re not from around here, seems like he would’ve told you. We don’t publish on Sunday, so everyone has today off. I’m kind of the watchman around here now. Used to be chief mechanic, so on Saturdays I come in and make sure all the machines are running like they should.”
“Then I’m glad I came in today and got to meet you.”
Mac nodded and turned to leave, but stopped and looked back at me. “Nice writing on that killer guy.”
“Thanks.”
And then he was gone, disappeared into the giant mechanisms that turned my words into front-page articles for everyone to read.
I went back up the metal staircase to the newsroom.
I decided to call Adam. What was the worst thing that could happen? At least if he humiliated me, I’d be able to lick my wounds in private here. A luxury I wouldn’t have at Edna’s.
I walked to my desk and dialed the number on the note. The phone rang three times, and I was about to hang up when Adam answered.
“Hello,” he said.
“Adam, it’s Alex. I got your note. I’d love to see your ranch.”
Silence on the other end.
“Adam?”
“Right. Sorry. I kind of gave up on you when you didn’t call first thing this morning.”
I looked at the clock on the wall. “It’s only eight o’clock. I told you last night I was going to work to see if Lou had an assignment for me.”
“I didn’t think you really meant that—I mean, since there’s no paper on Sunday.”
“Yeah, well, I just found that out.”
At first, I didn’t hear anything, then I heard a muffled laugh. My face burned. I was glad I was on the phone, not sitting across a table from him.
“Why didn’t you say something last night?” I asked. “I could’ve called a lot earlier. This is all your fault, you know.”
“Guess I figured you should find out for yourself,” he said, still laughing.
“I don’t think it’s very funny to make a fool of me just because I don’t know the paper’s schedule.”
Catching his breath, he said, “I’m sorry, Alex, but it is pretty funny.” I could hear him take a deep breath. “Look, why don’t I drive in and pick you up? It’ll be a lot faster than you riding your bike out here, and there’s still plenty left to the day.”
