A Familiar Magic, page 24
“There’s a first for everything,” he grinned, but I didn’t return it.
He might be cool with it but finding out I had some hidden power didn’t sit well with me. I was only marginally good at being a shifter, I didn’t need this drama on top of everything else I had going on.
“Why don’t you try it.” He was still grinning.
My eyes bugged. “What, now?”
And that’s how we spent the rest of the morning trying to recreate the mysterious red power caught on film. It was easier said than done. For one thing, I didn’t know how it worked. If it was truly me, wouldn’t I feel something? I looked inside myself but only found a bored cat, swatting at nothing and waiting for something exciting to happen. Her and me both.
“Maybe it’s not an offensive power,” Bast suggested, after another futile attempt of me flinging my hand out.
I was starting to sweat, my arms hurt, and I felt six different types of stupid.
“If you’re suggesting you jump out the window and for me to try and save you, I won’t object,” I growled, beyond annoyed and done with trying.
He raised his hands in surrender. “Practicing in my room isn’t the best idea anyway. We should find a place more secluded next time.”
“Next time!”
“You know, in case it works,” he amended.
“We don’t even know what it is!” I cried.
I felt another load of stress press down on my chest. It wanted to suffocate me, and I had half a mind to let it. Why couldn’t I be a normal girl?
“I can’t deal with this too,” I moaned, and rubbed my temples. “My days are bad enough now that I have to rejoin Instructor Lyra’s class.”
The panic about that class was always in the back of my mind, never giving me more than a moment of peace. It took a lot of strength to not let it consume me. A strength that was weakening each hour I worried about it.
“Why do you fight her?” Bast asked. “It’s easier to just do as she says.”
“Easy for you maybe,” I mumbled, then sighed. The weight of this one secret was too heavy to carry alone and I thought it would feel more like pulling teeth to get the words out, but they jumbled behind my teeth, fighting to be first after being held in for so long. “I… can’t shift,” I huffed in one breath.
The silence that followed would have been comical if I didn’t feel so much like crying. Bast kicked a pile of clothes out of the way and sat on the floor in front of me, his face open and confused. No judgement. I immediately felt more relaxed.
“What do you mean? Have you never…?”
“Once,” I admitted, picking at my fingers. “A few months after I turned sixteen. But not fully since.”
“She might be able to help you,” he suggested, meaning our Instructor. “That is what her class is for.”
I shook my head and choked on the ball of dread in my throat. The thought of that vile woman finding out…I couldn’t stomach it.
“No one can know, B. No One.” My eyes pleaded for secrecy. “If the Council finds out…if my father…I won’t graduate.” We both knew what that meant.
Our shoes touched in a light game of footsies, and I smiled at Bast’s attempt to comfort me.
“You know I won’t tell,” he promised. “And I’ll help any way I can.”
I nodded in thanks and wondered at what I’d need to do to make a shift happen. Why was it so hard for me? I heard others say that shifting into their animal form was freeing, but for me it was the exact opposite. It was painful and I came to dread it each time it felt like I was losing control. That’s why I fought so hard to keep her in check. Repeatedly breaking multiple bones wasn’t freeing, it was torture.
“I know I’m not supposed to hate it, but I do.” Bast looked up in surprise at my confession and I frowned. I thought he of all people would understand seeing as he shifted into an animal that caused him such grief. It wasn’t exactly the same, but it was close.
“You hate your animal?” He looked horrified at the very thought, and I realized I might have assumed wrong about him.
I shook my head, not sure how to explain it. “I don’t hate her, just the actual shifting.” My voice got smaller, “it hurts.”
The corner of Bast’s eyes turned down in pity. “Honey, it’s not supposed to hurt.”
“It’s not?” I asked, hopeful.
“No,” he scooched closer and leaned against one of my legs.
Our silence was both comfortable and contemplative. It was news to me that pain wasn’t supposed to go along with this whole experience. I knew I shouldn’t fear shifting, but that’s just how it was for me. Maybe if I was guided by a mentor, like what was supposed to happen my first shift, it wouldn’t have been such a shit show.
“We’ll figure it out,” Bast promised. “You’re not in this alone anymore.”
Some of my stress melted away. Friendship. I missed it. Someone who stood by your side no matter what and the confidence that came with that knowledge. The person who laughed with you over ridiculous things. Who you fought with but never truly stayed mad at. Someone who knew all your secrets and you knew theirs. Someone you could count on. My smile slipped when I thought of Asher, of the one secret that got harder and harder to keep, and hoped I never failed my new friend like I did my old one.
The boy’s dorm backed onto a thick part of the swamp, graciously providing enough cover for me to sneak out. The ground was spotted with sink holes and mud. Vines and overgrown vegetation reached out in a tangle of thorns and poison ivy; encouraged to grow to keep the two sexes apart. No set path cut through here, but students had worn down their own over the years. I silently thanked the brave few that came before to mark the easiest way and deftly avoided the swamp’s attempt at breaking my neck. My stomach rumbled its displeasure at missing lunch; a common occurrence these past couple days, but I pushed through it. I had no time to eat before I needed to be in Fox’s class. It was practical week, which meant we left the gym to engage in real-life situations. The goal was to get a feel for what awaited us on the outside. The probability of training drills being similar to a real demon attack were as likely as my father leaving the house in anything but a freshly pressed shirt, but it could be fun. I ducked under a fern, darted to the right and there…the garden. It was a quick jog to the amphitheater from here.
“Kaya!”
I stopped; shoulders hunched at the tone. Shit. What did I do now? Auden leaned against a trellis, arms and ankles crossed, and his face set. I could see the dent in his brow from here, and his jaw was clenched so hard he was in danger of chipping a tooth. If this were a cartoon, steam would be billowing out from his ears. I was used to seeing his anger, his glares, but it’s been a while since one made an appearance and I found myself getting nervous. I thought we were in a better place. Auden separated from the shadows and strode toward me, his gate eating up the space between us in seconds.
“I went to meet you after your class, hoping to walk you to lunch. Can you guess what happened next?”
“I—”
“Instructor Lyra said you never attended! And then I see you sneaking away from the male dormitories.” He cursed under his breath and swiped a hand through his already tangled hair. He took a step forward, then stopped. “Whose room were you in all morning?”
I reared back. “Come again?”
I’d never seen Auden this worked up. And over nothing. His hands were fists at his sides. Slowly opening and closing like he couldn’t control them. He looked down at me, nostrils flaring as a flush worked its way up his neck.
“Whose. Room.”
“B-bast’s,” I stammered. “What’s it matter to you?”
“Unsupervised visits are prohibited, Kaya. It’s like you want to prove my brother right.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong!” I argued. “He’s my friend.”
Was he seriously about to lecture me right now? About hanging with Bast?
“Were you alone?” he countered, a disapproving arch to his brow.
“Yes,” I snapped, officially annoyed. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he hissed, his eyes frenzied.
I backed away and he paused, shaking his head. When he looked at me again, his gaze gentled.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I stated, calmly. Hands up like I was trying to ease an animal. “I’m sorry that I missed class, but nothing happened.”
Auden blew out a breath, shoulders sinking. It was like a wave came over him and I watched as he deflated, the anger slowly leaving. Talk about whiplash. He acted so strange. Moody; pissed off one second, and contrite the next. I’d seen enough horror movies to know that if he started laughing, I needed to get the salt.
“You know Bast doesn’t see me like that, right?” Auden was already aware of Bast’s preferences, but maybe reminding him would help calm him down.
A small voice whispered that Auden was jealous, and I lost the battle to keep a smile off my face. I twisted and stepped under the branch of a large cypress tree to casually lean against its trunk. When I turned again, Auden joined me in the shade.
“You were right the first time, Kaya,” he sighed. “It’s none of my business.”
From a green-eyed beast to this moody shadow. I needed a manual on his mood swings.
“Then why were you so upset?” I asked, head tilted to the side.
Auden being jealous of Bast…it didn’t make sense.
He gave a strained laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. “Because you ditched class to be alone with a guy in his room? Because just the thought made me want to turn into a caveman, throw you over my shoulder, and run in the opposite direction. Because of how you’re looking at me right now.” His voice deepened and his hand reached out, but he pulled it back just as quick with another curse. “I don’t want to push you,” he insisted. “You’ve told me more than enough times that you don’t want to kiss me.”
I think I was in shock. Auden was jealous. My heart skipped at the realization.
“I never said that.” I slapped my hands over my mouth, panic blossoming. It was the truth, but should I really be encouraging this?
He scanned my face with an incredulous grin. “So, you do want to kiss me.”
I dropped my hands. “I didn’t say that either.”
His chuckle was paired with a smirk and the combination did funny things to my insides. “You have to pick one.”
Why did he suddenly seem closer? I hadn’t seen him move but every time I took a breath, his scent overwhelmed me.
“I’m indifferently…undecided.” I rasped, lifting my chin.
“Indifferent, huh?” He tutted. “Do I make you nervous, Kaya?”
I gulped. “No.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
My fingers dug into the bark at my back as I shook my head; maybe a little too zealously. He was so close now; one small move and I could touch him. Or he could touch me.
“I’m not lying.”
“A pathetically ineffective liar,” Auden repeated.
“Screw you!” My face was heated as he both verbally and physically backed me into a corner.
Auden slowly scanned my body, and I swore he could see right through me. He took note of where my hands clutched at the tree, of how my chest rose and fell in rapid pants. I watched him watch me, until finally, his eyes stared directly back into mine.
“Then tell me why you’re so flushed.” He took a step and deliberately glanced at my chest then back at my face. “You’re panting, squirming where you stand, and your pupils are dilated.” He hit me with another grin, the corner of his mouth barely teasing up. “I don’t need heightened senses to know you’re attracted to me. I’m just reading the signs your body is offering and waiting for that pretty mouth to give me the okay.”
I stopped breathing. I might have even died for a minute; either that or my heart exploded. I tried to choke down my nerves, but they grew with every second Auden stood there. Watching. Waiting. Fuck, how did he expect me to function after that? I opened my mouth. Closed it. My nails scraped more bark.
“I, uh—” I cleared my throat. “I’m going to be late for class.”
If my hands weren’t covered with tree, I would face palm myself. Why did I have to be so fucking awkward?
“Hmm.” Auden gave me space, but still kept that smug, wide smile. “I think I see what’s going on.”
I scooted to the side, one hand on the tree. “Nothing is going on.”
A few more steps and we were level with one another. He turned, his body tracking mine. “Agree to disagree.”
One more knowing smile and he walked away. I was so fucked. This boy was going to be the end of me. I just knew it.
chapter twenty-three
Everyone was naked. I heard its common to have nightmares of standing in front of your classmates with all your private bits on display…well, this was the opposite of that. I wrapped my arms around myself, subconsciously hugging my shirt closer, as the last of my classmates shifted.
“We’re all waiting on you, Thornton,” Instructor Lyra announced. “Now’s not the time to be shy.”
Little chuffs could be heard from the already shifted familiars. They mingled with the snickers from their awaiting partners. If ever in a situation that allowed, disrobing before shifting kept your clothes intact. Because, unfortunately, even though we lived in a world full of magic, no one had yet to invent a way for my clothes to travel with me when I changed into my animal form. It was either take them off first or shred them to pieces. The first and only time I fully shifted, I got stuck in my American Eagle sweater. It sucked more than you would think. And if it wasn’t obvious, nudity wasn’t a big deal to my people. It wasn’t like you could carry around a bag of clothes when fighting a demon. Naked men and women were a common sight around here. But seeing and doing were two totally different experiences.
“I think I can serve my partner better in this form, thanks.” I crossed my arms and settled in.
Instructor Lyra looked seconds away from strangling me and the other teachers present didn’t appear inclined to stop her.
“That is not the assignment, Thornton. Stop being difficult and shift.”
I refused. “Instructor Fox said you and the other teachers would play the role of demons for this practical and that our objective was to find our colored flag—I mean, target—and bring it to home base safely.”
“That is correct,” Fox confirmed with a definitive nod.
“Well, I know from personal experience that outside these walls, I can’t just roam around in animal form whenever I want. And leaving my witch defenseless while I wait in the car or hide in some trees is not performing to the best of my abilities. I will shift when the moment calls for it and not a second sooner.”
Instructor Lyra took a step toward me, but Fox put a hand out to stop her.
“This is a practical. She must perform as honestly as if she were on the outside.” His gaze met mine. “I’ll allow it.”
Cace rolled his eyes beside me, and I let out the breath I’d been holding. It sucked that I was paired with this chauvinistic asshole again, but at least I’d dodged the larger bullet. Now I just had to find a way to complete this practical without having to shift. I glanced at Lincoln. Or get naked.
“Begin.”
At Fox’s command, all twenty pairs took off in random directions. We had no idea where our flag was hidden, but we were given a general direction and instructions to subdue any “demons” we came upon. The instructors would defend the flags, but Fox enlisted the help of off duty guards to provide more realistic practice.
“Your cat’s sense of smell would be more beneficial to us,” Cace spoke from beside me, his head on a swivel. “You’d smell the demons before we saw them.”
“My senses are more heightened than yours, even in this form,” I argued.
We stepped into the trees and my eyes automatically adjusted to the diminished lighting. Cace stopped as his human pupils took longer to acclimate, and I fought the urge to gloat. He really should worry more about himself.
He sighed, “Why do you have to be so difficult?”
A tree branch snapped to our right and I dodged before he had a chance to shout. A guard, dressed in all black and wearing a Halloween mask of —seriously? The devil? — lunged from the shadows of an overgrown fern. I caught his arm, ducked under it, and twisted until it was splayed out like a chicken wing. Cace hadn’t even moved yet.
“Throw the damn potion!” I called out, breaking him from his stupor.
“Is that really necessary?” The guard whined. “You’ve already technically beaten me.”
“Hush, demon,” I growled, as Cace finally got his shit together and threw a bottle of fake potion.
The glass broke and a pungent, purple liquid stained the guard’s chest. Now the instructors would know we’d taken one demon down so far. The fake demon sighed and ambled off into the trees to wait for his next victim.
“See,” I grinned. “I told you we’d be fine.”
Forty-five minutes later, I was at the top of a tall cypress, pulling moss from my hair and straining my vision. There. Our purple flag lay only a few more yards away, tied to the dock of our designated swimming hole. Nets and buoys cordoned off the area to keep out the gators, but when you could shift into a giant cat, who cared about an oversized lizard?
“I see it!” I called down to Cace, smugly.
I told him that if I’d been in animal form, I wouldn’t be able to climb this high to find our target and he couldn’t climb a tree to save his life. One branch up and he started to shake. He was slowly coming around to my way of thinking, but we hadn’t come across an instructor yet, only guards. With the instructors playing Upper demons, I’d be expected to shift to team up with my partner. Luck was going to leave me sooner or later. My feet made contact with the earth and I brushed my hands together, ignoring the sticky sap now clinging to my fingers.
“Maybe we should circle around and approach from the water,” I suggested. “Whoever’s guarding our target wouldn’t see us coming.” Meaning maybe we wouldn’t have to engage them at all, and I could keep my secret for another day.
