“Keep trying,” Macy said. “You’re really going to throw away twenty years of marriage?”

  Mom bowed her head.

  Dad remained silent.

  “Come on,” I said. “You guys can get through this. Just keep trying.”

  “Lexie.” Mom’s voice silenced me. “This isn’t up for debate or negotiation. We’re telling you our final decision. Please be supportive of both of us during this time.”

  It was clear neither one of them would change their mind. “At least explain why you’re getting a divorce. None of this makes any sense.”

  “Because we’ve fallen out of love,” Mom explained. “And that’s it.” She gave me a look that told me not to argue with her anymore.

  I wanted to keep arguing but I knew it wouldn’t make a difference. Surprisingly, I turned to Macy and actually looked at her. She met my gaze without her usual hostility. The mutual pain we felt halted our intolerance for one another. Neither one of us could believe it. Our parents had been together for so long. And this is how it ended?

  ***

  When I left the house, I didn’t know what to do with myself. The world hadn’t changed, but mine had. The city didn’t feel the same, and the lights didn’t grow as bright. The sound of traffic was muted, like it wasn’t really there at all.

  I headed up the sidewalk, walking slower than usual. Instead of looking up in the direction I was going, I stared at the sidewalk below my feet. I looked at every crack and noted how it blended with the rest of the sidewalk.

  I felt my beating heart in my chest and noted how weak it was. It was practically non-existent. There was no blood circulating through my body. There was no living part of me. Everything had stopped.

  Divorce was traumatic on children of young age. But I was a grown woman and it was affecting me so deeply. My own marriage had fallen apart because my husband couldn’t be faithful to me. Now my mom and dad split up because they didn’t love each other anymore.

  Did marriage even work?

  Or was it just a waste of time? Was it something humans did just because we thought we were supposed to do it?

  Did love really exist?

  I walked for a long time before I realized what time of night it was. I ended up at a part of the city I didn’t know very well. When I glanced at my phone to check the time, I saw a text message from Conrad.

  Still over there?

  I didn’t want to see him and I wasn’t sure why. Talking about my parents’ divorce would only make it real. Saying the words out loud would put them in space indefinitely. Then I couldn’t take it back.

  And it would be done.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Slade

  I entered Trinity’s office and felt like a celebrity. Everyone knew exactly who I was, and they flashed me fake smiles in the hallway and asked how my day was going. They kissed my ass just because I was married to the big boss in charge.

  My own employees didn’t brown-nose me so this was a treat.

  I entered Trinity’s office without knocking and saw her sitting at her white desk. A vase of purples flowers sat next to the picture of she and I. Portraits of models wearing her clothes were on the wall. A yellow couch faced her desk, adding more color to the vibrant office. “Hey, baby.”

  “Hey.” She continued typing on her computer until she was finished. Then she locked the screen and put it to sleep. “How was your day?”

  “Pretty good. Yours?”

  “Yeah. Just busy.” She started to pile her things together. A bottle of nail polish sat on the desk. It was a purple color.

  I leaned against the desk as I waited for her to finish packing her stuff.

  Instead of opening her bag and stuffing everything inside it, she came across the desk and stared at me. It was a look I’d never seen before.

  I held her gaze then leaned in to kiss her, knowing that’s exactly what she wanted.

  She kissed me back, but her lips weren’t as enthused as they normally were.

  Something was off.

  “Slade, there’s something I want to talk about. Things keep coming up and we keep getting distracted…but we need to have this conversation.”

  Shit.

  I grabbed her face then kissed her hard, pressing her into the desk. My hands moved into her hair and my lips moved with hers like they were on a mission. I pinned her against the wood and gave her my best moves.

  She fell for it momentarily before she pushed me off. “What are you doing?”

  “When you dress like that how can I not want you?” I kissed her again.

  She shoved me back. “Slade, I’m serious. We need to talk. Stop changing the subject and trying to seduce me. It worked for a while but it’s not going to work anymore.”

  So, she figured out what I was doing.

  “Slade, listen to me.”

  I stepped back and released a loud sigh. My hands moved into my pockets as I waited for her to begin the conversation I didn’t want to have. How would I handle this? What would I say? How would she feel if I told her the truth? I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to deny the one thing she wanted.

  “Okay…” Now that she had my attention she didn’t know what to do with herself. “Skye and I have always wanted to have our kids at the same time. Now that Skye is having her first one, it makes me realize that I want one too. Slade, I want to have a baby.” She stared at me like she expected me to be happy.

  I wasn’t sure what gave her the idea that I would be thrilled by this knowledge. It was just too soon. She didn’t see that?

  “I know it’s sooner than what we expected but we’ll make it work. I want our kids to run around together and grow up together—just like Skye and I did.” She kept her hands at her waist as she waited for me to speak. “Slade, aren’t you going to say something?”

  I couldn’t go through with it. I wasn’t ready and I was way too young to be a father. Breaking my wife’s heart broke mine but I didn’t know what else to do. “Trinity, when I told you I wanted kids I meant it. Of course, I want to have a family with you. I want our love to grow as our family grows. But…this is just too soon.”

  The brightness left her eyes.

  “I’ve just begun to understand what it means to be a husband. I’ve finally figured out how to treat you and love you. I’ve finally figured out what the hell I’m doing. And then to make me a father on top of that…I’m just not ready. I’m sorry…”

  She lowered her gaze and looked at the ground.

  “I love what we have now. We haven’t even been married for a year, and we should enjoy each other while we can. Trinity, you just started an empire and I haven’t been running my shop for that long. I want to travel and play in my band. There are a lot of things I want to do before I become a parent. It’s just not the right time.”

  She still didn’t look at me.

  “Skye and Cayson didn’t plan this,” I reminded her. “It was an accident and I know they would have waited if they had the opportunity. They just got married and they haven’t even had a chance to enjoy it. I know you wanted to have our kids at the same time but…it’s just not feasible.”

  Trinity crossed her arms over her chest, and her skin became paler than it was before.

  I kept my hands in my pockets and tried to think of something good to say. The tension was settling on my throat and suffocating me. It was becoming hard to breathe. I knew I just disappointed my wife but I didn’t know what else to do. “Baby, talk to me.”

  She refused to meet my gaze. In fact, she stepped back.

  “Trinity, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. You know everything I said is true.”

  “I’m not mad.” Her voice came out quiet and cold. She raised her chin and showed me her face. It was stoic like a concrete wall. She hid everything from me, all her pain and anger. It was like she was void of all feeling.

  “I…I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “You didn’t.” She turned to her desk and grabbed her bag. The air in the room quickly changed. Now it was inhospitable. It was dark and heavy, wrapping around both of us like it might crush us.

  “Trinity, I’m sorry. I really am.”

  “It’s okay,” she said automatically. “You don’t have to have kids with me. It’s fine.”

  “No, that’s not what I said.” I grabbed her arm and forced her to face me. “That’s not what I said. I just don’t want to have kids right this second—that’s all.”

  Her eyes were lifeless. “Then that’s what we’ll do.” She moved out of my hold and shouldered her bag. “Now let’s go home.”

  When Trinity was upset with me, she usually yelled. She screamed at me and started throwing things. She was never quiet like this. It was like I killed her spirit. Her face was pale like she didn’t have enough blood, and she was rigid like a robot. The fact she was dead silent told me this went far beyond a regular fight. I didn’t want it to be this way, but I couldn’t just agree to something I wasn’t ready for. Wouldn’t that be worse?

  We got into the car together, and it was even more awkward then. After we picked up Skye, the tension still continued. Skye talked in the backseat but neither Trinity nor I responded. When Skye realized something was up, she didn’t say anything else.

  When we got home, Trinity immediately went into the bedroom and shut the door. She didn’t stay downstairs for dinner. She didn’t say anything to either one of us.

  Fuck, what do I do?

  “You did something really bad, didn’t you?” Skye asked with fear in her eyes.

  “That’s the thing—I didn’t.”

  ***

  Trinity continued to be cold toward me. Nothing I did or said made her responsive. We didn’t make love when we went to bed, and on the commute to work she turned up the radio and didn’t make small talk.

  What the hell should I do?

  I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just honest with her. She wanted to have kids and I understood that, but rushing it was a bad idea. We both had our careers and other things on our plates. Why should we speed things up just because Skye and Cayson made a mistake?

  I decided to give Trinity space and let her give me the cold shoulder. Eventually, she would come around and understand my words came from a good place. Of course, I wanted to make a family with her. Of course, I wanted to give her whatever the hell she wanted.

  But I just couldn’t do that right now.

  ***

  The week dragged on and Trinity’s attitude hadn’t changed at all. She didn’t have a temper, she didn’t snap at me, and she didn’t have an attitude directed toward me. Nasty looks weren’t directed my way, and she didn’t insult me left and right.

  She didn’t do anything.

  Being around her was the same thing as being alone. She was so quiet and empty that it was like she wasn’t even there. Sometimes she responded to what I said, but it was in a quiet way. She spoke so softly it seemed like she simply didn’t have enough energy to get everything out.

  How long would this go on for?

  When I went to bed that night, I got undressed then lay beside her in bed. Trinity was on her side and she faced the opposite way of me, like usual. She didn’t sit up and read anymore. It didn’t seem like she had the energy to do anything.

  I moved to her side of the bed and spooned her from behind. Then I kissed the back of her neck and her shoulder, trying to get her in the mood. I hadn’t gotten laid in over a week and my dick wasn’t happy.

  Trinity gently pushed me off. “I’m too tired.”

  “Just lay there. I’ll do all the work.” I pulled her toward the center of the bed.

  She shoved me away. “No, Slade. I just want to go to sleep.”

  Seriously, she was still mad at me? “Trinity, I’m sorry that I’m not ready for kids right now. But you really need to get over it. Everything I said was true and I’m the only one being logical about this. You’re so obsessed with having a baby that you haven’t even thought this through.”

  “Haven’t thought it through?” she said coldly. “I’ve been thinking about it my entire life. That’s plenty of time to plan.”

  I ground my teeth together in annoyance. “You need to stop being mad at me.”

  “I’m not mad,” she said automatically.

  “Well, you fooled me,” I snapped.

  “I’m just tired. Go to sleep.” She pulled the blanket further over her shoulder.

  “Trinity, I said I was sorry. You think I enjoy disappointing you? You think I like the distance between us? Trinity, I would do absolutely anything to make you happy. You know this. All I asked was for more time. I’m not denying you children.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  I wanted to strangle her right now. “You need to knock it off. You’re acting like a child.”

  She sat up in bed then gave me the coldest stare I’ve ever seen. “Keep talking like that and you can sleep on the couch.”

  “Maybe you’re the one who should sleep on the couch.”

  Now she looked like she wanted to slap me—hard. “I guess I should. I’d rather be down there and uncomfortable than up here with you.” She kicked the sheets back then left the bed. She wore flannel pajamas, and I didn’t realize she even owned a pair. All she ever wore to bed were my t-shirts.

  “Hold on.” I sighed in irritation. Instead of proving my point and getting her to calm down, I just pushed her away. “You aren’t going anywhere.”

  “I don’t mind.” She grabbed her phone. “Anywhere where you aren’t is fine with me.”

  I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to bed. “I’m sorry I got upset. I’m just tired of you being mad at me.”

  She didn’t meet my gaze.

  “Trinity, come on. You really don’t understand where I’m coming from at all?”

  “Yes, I do. Completely.”

  I cocked an eyebrow. “Then why are you acting like this?”

  “Just because the timing isn’t right and everything isn’t perfect doesn’t change what I want. I’ve dreamt of this since Skye and I played with Barbies. I’ve wanted our kids to grow up together. It’s not something I’m willing to compromise on, and I’m hurt that you won’t give me what I want.”

  “Trinity, this isn’t something simple. Having a child is a big responsibility. It won’t be ball games and picnics all the time. You’re such an ambitious woman. When are you going to find the time to run a massive company and be a full-time mom? And don’t you dare make me stay home with the kids so you can run off and keep doing whatever you’re doing. That’s not fair. And just because our kids aren’t a few months apart doesn’t mean they won’t be close.”

  Now she looked even more heartbroken. “Slade, sleep on the couch or I will.”

  Man, I kept digging my own grave. “I know you’re mad at me, and frankly, I’m mad at you too. But I’m not sleeping on the couch and neither are you.” I lay down and turned off my lamp. Then I turned on my side away from her, giving her the cold shoulder just like she gave me.

  Trinity didn’t leave the room and go downstairs. She lay back down and stayed far away from me on the opposite side of the bed. She was so far away it was like she wasn’t really there at all.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Conrad

  Lexie had been distant with me all week. Every time I tried to see her, she was either too busy or too tired. She didn’t come by the office for lunch, and every time I stopped by to see her, she sent me away.

  What happened?

  Did I do something?

  Everything was perfect the last time we saw each other. She made dinner then split a pie with me right out of the tin. After we washed the dishes together, we went to bed and made love twice before we went to sleep.

  What could have possibly happened?

  I was certain I didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing came to mind. As soon as she had dinner with her family, she became distant. Did her sister do something? Did her sister lie and say she and I had a fling of some sort?

  The suspense was killing me.

  Unable to stand another moment of this eerie silence, I stopped by her apartment after work. I knocked loudly then waited for to her answer, my breath held deep in my lungs. Her feet were on the other side of the door and I heard her approach me.

  After she peeked through the peephole, she cracked the door. “Hey…” She didn’t look pleased to see me—at all.

  How did we get like this? “Whatever Macy said about me isn’t true. I haven’t touched her.”

  Confusion came into her eyes. “What?”

  “Did Macy say something about me? Is that why you keep brushing me off?”

  “Oh…” Her eyes fell in sadness. “No, not at all.”

  Now I was angry. “Then why are you avoiding me? Every time I try to see you, you make up some excuse. What’s the deal, Lexie?” I didn’t like being in the dark. Beatrice had caused me so much pain when she shut me out. I didn’t want to go through that again.

  “It has nothing to do with you…I’m sorry I scared you.” The hopeless look on her face chased away my resentment.

  I pushed the door open and allowed myself inside. “Then talk to me. Don’t run away.”

  She shut the door and locked it before she turned back to me. She wore one of my t-shirts with boxers underneath. Her hair was messy like she’d forgotten to brush it three days in a row. Her face was pale and free of make up. Somehow, she looked thinner.

  “Baby, everything alright?” I came close to her then moved my hands to her hips.

  She stared off into the distance for a moment. After a few seconds, her eyes welled up with tears. Then she turned back to me as her lip quivered. “No…” One tear bulged to a drop then streaked down her face.

  Alarm shot through my body. Now I felt like a jackass for storming in here like a gorilla. “Talk to me.” I pulled her closer to me and looked down into her face. What would make her act this way? Why would she push me away then break down the moment I walked in the door?

  She closed her eyes to stop her tears. Once her eyes were dry, she opened them again. “When I had dinner with my family…” Her lip quivered.

 

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