Tyler, page 7
“I don’t mix with people very much,” she said. Her eyes slid helplessly over his broad, bare chest. “I socialize only to the extent that I have to, and since most people who come here keep to themselves except for organized activities, I don’t have many problems. If I had my own way, this would be just a cattle ranch and I wouldn’t take in paying guests. But the dude ranch part is paying for the cattle operation, so I don’t have much choice.”
“Do you date?”
She kept her eyes down. “No, I don’t have time.”
“So many secrets between us, Nell,” he said, caressing her hand lightly. “Too many.”
“You told me you weren’t interested in involvement. Well, I’m not either,” she lied.
“Really? Or is it that you don’t think you attract men?”
She remembered when she’d said that and what he’d done about it on the way home from church. Her lips parted as she remembered the hungry kiss they’d shared, and she had to fight not to throw herself down against him and beg him to do it again.
“I can’t attract men,” she replied tersely.
“You’re a pretty woman,” he said. “You downplay your attractions, but they’re there. Why don’t you buy a new dress, have your hair done and put on some makeup for the next Saturday square dance?” he murmured, reaching up to tug on a long lock of her hair. “And I’ll teach you to dance.”
Breathing grew harder by the minute. She felt nervous and insecure, and the slow tracing of his long fingers on her hand and wrist was beginning to stir her blood.
“It’s not practical,” she said inanely, because she could hardly think at all.
“Why not?”
“Because…because you’re…” She bit her lip. “You’re just bored, Tyler, and when you’re back on your feet again, when you’re working for yourself again… Oh, I’m just muddling it.”
“You think I’m playing.”
She sighed. “Yes.”
He took her hand and pulled it to his chest, pressing it hard over the hair-covered expanse where his heart was beating like a bass drum. “Nell, am I callous enough to play with a virgin?” he asked softly.
Of course he wasn’t, but she couldn’t keep her thoughts clear. The effect he had on her was incredible, and she was hungry for an affection she’d never had from a man.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said huskily, pulling on her hand. “Come here.”
“Tyler, you’re sick—”
“I don’t have any fever, and I feel like a new man.” He eased her across him until she was on her back in the bed with his lean bare torso above her, his green eyes glittering down at her. “I’ve never seen a woman with less self-confidence than you have, Nell,” he said. “There’s nothing wrong with the way you look or the way you are.”
“Tyler, you’re scaring me,” she whispered. Her hands went to his chest, and part of her tried to protest. This was bringing back terrible memories of another man she’d loved, or thought she loved, and his harsh, hurtful treatment of her. But Tyler wasn’t McAnders, and the look on his face was intoxicating. He wanted her. Not as a substitute for another woman, but for herself.
“No, that won’t work,” he said gently. His lean hands cupped her chin and held her face tilted up to his. “I’m not going to be rough with you, not ever. And anything we do together will be because you want it.”
That was as new as her proximity to him, and she began to relax. There was nothing threatening about him. He seemed fully in control and lazily indulgent.
“Yes, that’s it,” he said as he felt the tension draining out of her body. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
As he spoke, his dark head bent. She felt his mouth whispering over her eyelids, closing them, brushing her nose, her chin, and then settling softly over her mouth. Her breath seemed suspended while he found just the right pressure, the right mingling of tenderness and expertise to make her lips part for him. And while he kissed her, his lean hands slid under her blouse at the back, and she thrilled to the faint roughness of their touch on her bare skin.
He was addictive, she thought dizzily, enraptured by the warmth of his caresses. She didn’t think she could have pulled away to save her life. Every touch was more exciting than the one before. His mouth became a necessity. Without its warm crush she was sure to die.
Shyly, she flattened her hands against his chest and let them experience the thickness of hair, the strong padding of muscle beneath it. His breath caught against her mouth, and her eyes opened, questioning.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” she began quickly.
“It feels good,” he said, smiling down into her shocked face. “I can drag that sound out of you the same way.”
Her body coiled inside, like a kitten anticipating being stroked. She felt herself tremble and wondered at the mental pictures that were flashing sensually through her mind. His hands on her, touching her…there. Her lips parted. “You…you can?” she whispered, which wasn’t what she wanted to say at all, but she was too shy and inexperienced to put it into words.
Tyler, with his greater experience, knew immediately that she was going to welcome whatever he wanted to do. It went to his head, making his thoughts spin with new possibilities. His hands had already told him that Nell had been hiding her light, physically at least, under a barrel. He needed the intimacy with her as he’d needed nothing else in his life, although he still didn’t quite understand the way she affected his senses.
“Yes,” he breathed, bending again to her mouth. “I can.”
As his lips toyed with hers, his hand went to the fastening of her bra. Subtly, almost without her knowing it, he released the catch and slid his fingers slowly, exploringly, under her arm to the soft edge of her breast.
She trembled, but she didn’t pull away or protest, and his blood ran hot and fast through his veins. He wanted to look at her. He wanted to see her eyes when he touched her.
He lifted his head. The glitter of his eyes unnerved her at first, until she felt again the light tracing of his fingers against her skin. The sensations piled on each other until she went hot all over with the need to make him put his hand on her, to touch her. Her body was more demanding than her mind, because it tried to twist toward him, to force a contact he was deliberately denying her.
“Ty…ler?” she whispered brokenly.
His free hand was under her nape. It moved caressingly in her thick hair while his gaze searched her huge, hungry eyes. “Shh,” he whispered gently. The hand under her arm moved again, tracing, and she arched, shuddering, while her big eyes pleaded with him. “It’s all right,” he whispered. “It’s all right, honey.”
And all the while, his fingers were driving her mad. She felt as if every single cell in her body was drawn as tight as a rope, as if the tension was going to break her in half. Her nails contracted on his muscular upper arms and dug in, and when she realized it, she was shocked at her own action.
“I’m…sorry,” she whispered jerkily, caressing the red crescents she’d made in his skin. “I’m sorry, I…couldn’t…help it.”
“You haven’t hurt me,” he said gently. “You know that I’m doing this deliberately. Do you know why?”
“No,” she whimpered, jerking as his fingertips edged a little farther onto her breast.
“It’s very much like a symphony, little one,” he whispered softly, and he managed a smile. “It starts slowly, softly, and builds and builds and builds to a crescendo. When I finally give you what you’re pleading for, Nell, you’re going to feel a kind of pleasure that I can’t even describe to you.”
Her teeth ground together, because the tension was growing unbearable. “But…when…?”
“Now.” His mouth covered hers and his hand moved, at last, at last, at…last! It covered her breast, swallowing up the hard tip, giving her the tiny consummation her body had begged for.
And it was like fireworks. She cried out into his mouth, shuddered, arched with the anguished fulfillment. Her hand found his through the cloth of her shirt and pressed against it, holding it prisoner. She sobbed, and the hand at her neck contracted as his mouth grew feverishly hungry. For long, fiery seconds, the sounds of their breathing were audible in the quiet room.
“It isn’t enough,” he bit off against her mouth. While he held her, his hand began to unbutton her shirt. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “I won’t go farther than this, I promise you,” he said huskily. “But I…need…to look at you.”
Her eyelids felt heavy. She couldn’t work up the effort to protest. What he’d just given her was like honey, and she was helpless with pleasure. She wanted more. She wanted his eyes on her.
It was extraordinary, she thought, watching him divest her of her shirt and bra. Extraordinary, that look in his eyes, on his face, as he eased her down against the pillows and sat gazing at her taut, swollen breasts.
“Ty,” she whispered. “There was a movie I watched once, and it was just a little racy. But the man…he did more than touch her. He put his mouth…”
“Here?” he whispered back, brushing her taut breast with the backs of his fingers, his eyes intent on hers.
She jerked involuntarily with pleasure. “Yes.”
“Do you want that, with me?”
She colored, but she was beyond pretending. “Oh, yes…!”
His mouth eased down over the soft flesh, smoothing her skin, sensitizing it. The sensation was beyond anything she’d ever imagined. She made little whimpers that sent his mind whirling out of control. He groaned against her breast and gathered her up close, giving in to the need to taste her, to pleasure her.
She didn’t hear the knock the first time it came. But the second time it was louder. She lay still, listening, and felt Tyler stiffen above her.
He caught his breath slowly, glancing through the open bedroom door toward the living room with glazed eyes and a mind that was still in limbo.
“Mr. Jacobs, I brought your mail. I’ll slide it under the door.”
It was Chappy’s voice, and thank God he went away quickly. Nell colored furiously as she imagined what would have happened if Chappy had just walked in.
Tyler looked down at her quietly, letting his bold gaze go from her eyes to her swollen mouth to the alabaster skin of her breast.
“Are you all right?” he whispered softly. “I didn’t frighten you?”
“No.” She was looking at him as intently as he was studying her, measuring memory and imagination against the sweet reality of what they’d done together. “Not at all.”
He touched her breast tenderly and smiled at her. “It was good,” he whispered.
“Yes.”
He eased down on his elbows and slowly drew his chest over her sensitized breasts, watching her shiver and gasp with the delicious sensation of it. “This is good, too,” he breathed, bending again to her mouth. “I want you, Nell.”
She tensed as his mouth brushed hers, and he smiled against her trembling lips.
“I’m not going to do anything about it,” he reassured her. “Kiss me, and then you’d better get out of here.”
She slid her arms up around his neck and gave him her mouth in a kiss as sweet and wild as the ones before. But seconds later he drew away and rolled over, taking her with him. He lay on his back, shuddering a little with a need he couldn’t fulfill.
“You might as well get rid of the baggy britches and loose blouses,” he murmured, holding her bare breasts against his broad chest. “I’ll never fall for the camouflage again, after this.”
“Am I too big?” she whispered, because it mattered if she was.
He brushed the hair away from her mouth. “No. You’re just right. All of you.” He brushed a warm kiss against her lips and loosened his arms. “You’d better get your things back on. I’m weak, but I’m still capable. I don’t want this to get out of hand.”
She touched his face, her fingers cold and nervous, tracing its hard contours, fascinated with him. “You can’t imagine what it was like for me,” she whispered. “I…well, it wasn’t what I thought it would be.”
He smiled. “Not even after you saw that racy movie?” he murmured dryly.
She swallowed, remembering when she’d told him about it and what had followed. “Well, no. Seeing and experiencing are different.”
“Indeed they are.” He helped her to sit up and spent a long minute looking at her before he gathered up her bra and blouse and proceeded to help her back into them. “No,” he said when she tried to stop him. “You dressed me. Now it’s my turn.”
So she sat still and let him dress her, delighting in his gentle touch, in his obvious pleasure in her.
“You can’t stay here tonight,” he said. “I hope you realize why.”
“Yes. I know why.”
He buttoned her up to the throat and smoothed back her long disheveled hair. “I would like very much to take your clothes off and pull you under this sheet with me and love you up to the ceiling,” he said seriously. “I could do that, despite your innocence. But I’d hate myself for abusing your trust, and you might hate me for backing you into a corner. I don’t want anything to spoil what’s building between us. I don’t think you want that, either.”
She linked her fingers into his as he toyed with her hair. “No. I don’t want anything to spoil it, either,” she whispered.
He drew her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. “I won’t sleep. I’ll remember how it was while we were loving each other in this bed, and I’ll ache to have you here with me.”
She trembled at his description of what they’d done. It had felt like loving, even if he only meant that in a physical sense. Her warm eyes searched his, and her face was radiant with shared pleasure, with hope, with new dreams that seemed to be turning into reality.
“I never dreamed it would be this way,” she said absently.
“How did you think it would be?”
“Frightening,” she confessed without telling him why. McAnders had made it into a terrifying thing, a violent act that would have hurt if he’d succeeded. But what she’d experienced with Tyler wasn’t terrifying. It had been beautiful.
“And it wasn’t?” he persisted gently.
“Not frightening, no,” she said with a demure smile. “A little scary, but in a nice way. So many sensations…”
“For me, too, Nell,” he said somberly. His eyes held hers. “That was no casual diversion, and don’t you forget it. I’m not a playboy.”
“You’re not a monk, either,” she said. She smiled shakily. “I may be innocent, but I’m not stupid.”
He sighed, smoothing her closed fingers with his thumb. “If you want the truth, yes, I’ve had women. But always women who couldn’t or wouldn’t consider marriage or anything permanent. And never for money. Lovemaking is too beautiful to reduce to a quick coupling that only satisfies a casual hunger.”
She couldn’t speak. She hadn’t expected him to say anything like that, and it occurred to her that she didn’t really know him very well. “I’m glad you think of it that way,” she said.
“Don’t you, honestly?” he asked.
“With you I do,” she said after a minute. McAnders’s angry handling was fading away like a bad dream. Now when she thought about physical expressions of affection, she was always going to feel Tyler’s hands on her body.
He touched her lips with a long forefinger. “Go away,” he said softly. “I want you terribly, Miss Regan.”
She smiled tenderly. “I’m very glad of that. But I’ll go.”
She got up from the bed, her eyes possessive as they ran over his taut body.
“Would you like an anatomy lesson?” he asked with a dry smile. “I could pull this sheet away and teach you volumes about men.”
She averted her eyes, her cheeks scarlet. “I’ll just bet you could,” she muttered, because she remembered how his body had changed when hers came into contact with it. “And stop making fun of me because I’m not clued in.”
“I happen to like you that way, believe it or not,” he mused. “Come back in the morning. We can have another argument.”
“I don’t really want to argue with you.”
“The alternative could get us into real trouble.”
She laughed because he sounded so morose and dryly amused all at once. Her face changed with the sound, brightened, went soft and radiant.
“You are lovely when you laugh,” he said huskily. “And if you don’t get out of here right now, I’m going to throw off this damned sheet and come after you.”
She let out a low whistle and headed for the door. “The mind boggles,” she murmured as she glanced over her shoulder and smiled at him. “Sleep tight.”
“Oh, that’s funny,” he agreed. “A real screamer. I’ll have to remember to put it in my memoirs.”
“I won’t sleep, either,” she said softly, and left him reluctantly.
She went out the door smiling, her heart so light that it could have floated before her. She’d never been so happy in all her life. The most unexpected things happened sometimes. They’d argued and she’d been sure that there was no hope, and now he’d kissed her so hungrily, handled her so gently that she was building daydreams again. This had to be the real thing, she told herself doggedly. He’d told her he wasn’t playing, so it had to be for real. It had to be!
And all of a sudden, she started thinking about the past, about a man who’d teased her and kissed her lazily once or twice, a man she’d thought she loved. And that man had betrayed her trust and tried to force her into bed, all because he’d wanted her bright, beautiful sister-in-law. It didn’t bear thinking about. Surely history wasn’t going to repeat itself with Tyler. Nell closed her eyes in faint fear. She couldn’t bear the thought of that.
If Bella noticed that Nell’s lips were swollen and her hair wildly disheveled and her face full of a new radiance mingled with fear, she kept it to herself. But she was less abrasive than usual as Nell helped with the dishes, and she was smiling when the younger woman went up to bed.
