Tyler, page 14
Her lips parted. “I’ve never done this before,” she whispered unsteadily. “Gone without…without what I usually wear, I mean.”
He could have jumped over the moon. His fingers delved farther under the soft fabric and found a hard tip that brought a pleasured gasp from her lips when he touched it. “Lie still, honey,” he whispered, his voice as unsteady as her own as he peeled away the cotton. “And for God’s sake, don’t cry out when I put my mouth on you….”
She had to bite her lower lip almost until it bled to manage that, because his lips were hungry and demanding. When he took her inside the warm darkness of his mouth, she felt tears well up from her closed eyes because it was like a tiny fulfillment in itself. She writhed helplessly, her nails biting him, her mouth as hungry as his, while the stars boiled down around them in white-hot flame.
He drew back first, and suddenly fastened her blouse with trembling hands before he rolled away from her and got to his feet.
She lay there, on fire for him, her eyes watching him as he moved near the camp fire. Her body trembled with a need she’d never felt before. She wanted him, she wanted him!
His back was arrow straight as he began to build up the fire. He stood there for a while, and by the time he came back to his bedroll, her heart was beating normally again and she could feel the tension easing out of her body. But when he climbed into his sleeping bag, the tension came back all over again.
“Tyler,” she whispered achingly.
“It passes,” he whispered back. “I’m sorry, little one. I didn’t mean to take you that far. It’s impossible, in more ways than one.”
She felt for his lean hand and curled her fingers into it trustingly. “I know. But it was sweet, all the same. I love it when you touch me like that. I’m not even embarrassed to tell you so.”
His fingers contracted. “Then I don’t mind telling you that I almost couldn’t pull back.” His head turned and his eyes searched hers in the blazing orange reflection of the fire beyond them. “One day I won’t be able to stop. What then?”
Her lips parted. “I don’t know.”
“You’d better start thinking about it,” he said bluntly. “Because things are getting totally out of hand. Either we part company or risk the consequences.”
She lowered her worried eyes to the steady rise and fall of his chest. “I…don’t want to lose you,” she said, burying her pride.
He brought her hand to his mouth. “That would be harder than you realize. Do you still want me, or is it easing off?”
She flushed. “It’s easing off,” she whispered back.
“At least now you understand why I get short-tempered from time to time, don’t you?” he mused.
“Yes.” She nuzzled her face against his arm. “What are we going to do?”
“What are you going to do?” he said, rephrasing the question. “The ball’s in your court, honey. Make your move.”
“But what do you want?”
“You.”
“Just my body?” she asked softly.
“All of you.”
She took a slow breath. “For how long?” she asked bravely.
“I told you, Nell. Love doesn’t come with a money-back guarantee—if you do love me. What you feel might be infatuation, or just your first sensual experience making you vulnerable to me.”
She searched his face, trying to see if he really believed that. “Is that what you think?”
“Not really. Why don’t you tell me what you feel?”
She hesitated, and despite what she did feel, she couldn’t lower her pride enough to tell him. She moved her fingers closer into his, feeling his own part and accept them in a warm, strong clasp.
“That reserve is the biggest part of our problem,” he murmured. “You won’t give in because you don’t think I want you.”
“I know you want me,” she corrected.
“But not how badly, or in what way,” he returned. “You’re still locked up in the past, afraid of being hurt again.”
“I know you wouldn’t hurt me,” she said unexpectedly, and her eyes were eloquent. “I never knew that a man could be so gentle.”
He brought her fingers to his mouth. “That seems to come naturally with you,” he said softly. “I’ve never felt as tender with a woman until now.”
She moved her head on his arm. “Tyler, is it just physical with you?”
“If it was,” he replied with a dry smile, “would I give a damn about your old-fashioned ideas on chastity? Would I even try to pull back?”
She felt her cheeks burn, and then she laughed self-consciously. “No. Of course not.”
“Take it from there and think about it. Now we’d better get some sleep. We’ve already talked and…other things…for more than an hour.”
“It didn’t seem that long,” she said shyly.
“For me, either, Nell.” He let their clasped hands relax between them and closed his eyes. “After tonight,” he murmured drowsily, “you’ll never be able to deny that we’ve slept together.”
“No, I won’t.” She curled a little closer and closed her own eyes. Her last thought before she fell asleep was that she’d never felt more secure or happy in all of her life.
* * *
She woke at dawn to the delicious smell of percolating coffee and bacon and eggs being fried. Tyler was already hard at work on breakfast, with a little good-intentioned help from a couple of the guests. Everyone ate quietly, enjoying the silence of the desert at dawn and the incredible colors of the sky on the horizon.
“I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,” Mrs. Callaway said with a sigh, nestling close to her husband.
“A living art gallery,” Tyler agreed, smiling at Nell. “With a new canvas every minute of the day. It certainly is beautiful.” Like you, his eyes were telling Nell, wooing her.
She sighed, her heart in her eyes, in her smile, in her rapt attention. His gaze locked with hers while he smoked his cigarette, and the exchange lasted long enough to make her blood run wildly through her veins and her knees get weak.
They rode back to the ranch a few minutes later, and Nell helped Tyler get the horses unsaddled, unbridled and put back in their stalls.
“I’ve never enjoyed anything more,” Nell told him honestly, and laughed uninhibitedly. “It was wonderful.”
“I thought so myself,” he murmured. He leaned against a closed stall, and his green eyes glittered over her. “Come here,” he challenged from deep in his throat.
Her heart raced. She didn’t hesitate. She went straight to him and deliberately let her hips melt into his, her legs rest against the powerful strength of his own.
She raised her face for his kiss, blatantly inviting, without fear or inhibitions or reservations.
“Now I want an answer,” he said solemnly. “I want to know what you feel for me. I want to know where I stand. You’re going to have to trust me enough to tell me.”
“That isn’t quite fair,” she argued. “I have to lower my pride, and you won’t lower yours.”
“I’m not the one with all the hang-ups,” he reminded her. “Any good relationship has to be built on absolute trust to be successful.”
“Yes, I know. But…” She avoided his gaze.
He tilted her face up to his. “Take a chance, Nell.”
She took a deep breath, gathered her courage and started to speak. And just as she opened her mouth, a familiar voice called, “Tyler, darling, there you are! The boys and I arrived yesterday evening, and we’re going to spend the week—isn’t that nice?”
Nell moved away from Tyler as Margie came laughing into the stable and threw her arms around him. “Oh, you darling man, how have I managed to live all these years without you? Nell, isn’t he wonderful? I’m so happy! Tyler, have you told her our news?” she prompted, her face radiant.
“No, he hasn’t,” Nell said, turning away. “But he doesn’t need to, now. I can guess. See you later. I need a bath and a change of clothing.”
“Nell,” Tyler called after her, but she wasn’t listening. She kept going into the house, with her dreams around her ears. Only a blind fool wouldn’t know what Margie had hinted at. She and Tyler had something going, it was just plain obvious. And how could he have touched Nell so hungrily only last night, knowing that Margie was going to be here, waiting for him? Nell could have thrown things. Once again she’d been taken in by her own stupid, trusting nature. Well, this was the last straw. She was going to call Uncle Ted and tell him he could keep the ranch forever—she was going to leave and find something else to do. And as far away from Arizona and Tyler Jacobs as she could get!
Chapter Ten
“What do you look so unhappy for?” Bella asked Nell. “Didn’t you enjoy the camp out?”
“It was all right,” Nell said with deliberate carelessness. She didn’t want to remember what she and Tyler had done together. Margie had spoiled everything. Whatever Tyler had been going to say would never be said, and it looked as though Margie had pulled out all the stops and was going after him headlong.
“Hand me that mixer.” Bella nodded toward the appliance she was going to use on a cake mix. “That Mrs. Norman was back in here again complaining about the menu. She’s another Mrs. Harris, but at least Mr. Harris is here. Mrs. Norman doesn’t like the way I cook. And besides all that, she thinks the entertainment stinks and there’s nothing to do but ride horses.”
Nell’s eyes bulged. “Did you tell her that this is a dude ranch? People come here to ride horses.”
“I told her that and plenty more.” Bella looked at the younger woman sheepishly. “She’s packing to leave. She says she’s going to tell the whole world what a miserable operation we’ve got here. Oh, and we don’t even have a tennis pro,” she added.
“Tyler fired him, along with the golf pro,” Nell reminded her. “He said they weren’t paying their way.”
“You mad at me?” Bella asked.
Nell put her arms around the older woman. “I love you. If people say cruel things about your cooking, they deserve to be sent packing. I think you’re terrific.”
Bella smiled and hugged her back. “That goes double for me. But I’ll apologize all the same, if you want me to.”
“No. Mrs. Norman may leave, with my blessing. In fact,” she said, moving toward the door, “I’ll even refund her money.”
“Tyler won’t like that,” Bella called after her.
“Tyler can eat worms and die,” Nell muttered.
“So that’s it,” Bella said to herself, and giggled once Nell was out of earshot.
Mrs. Norman had finished packing. She had her full-length mink coat wrapped around her thin body and her black eyes were flashing. “I am leaving,” she told Nell, who was waiting outside the apartment when the older woman came out with her nose haughtily in the air. “You may have someone bring my luggage and call me a cab.”
“With pleasure,” Nell said, and even smiled. “If you’ll stop by the office, I’ll gladly refund your money.”
Mrs. Norman eyed her suspiciously. “Why?”
“You don’t like it here,” Nell said. “There’s no reason you should pay to be made miserable. The cooking is terrible, there’s nothing to do…”
Mrs. Norman actually squirmed and pulled the mink coat closer, despite the fact that it was ninety degrees outside and she was already sweating. “That won’t be necessary,” she said. “Money is the least of my problems.” She averted her eyes, then suddenly blurted out, “I’m allergic to horses and the dust is choking me. All my husband’s friends go to dude ranches, and he sent me here because he didn’t want to take me to Europe with him.” She lifted her chin proudly, even though it trembled. “It’s just that…that this room…is so empty,” she finished, choking the words out. “I’m so alone.”
She broke down into tears and Nell did what came naturally. She took the weeping woman in her arms and just stood holding her and rocking her and murmuring soft words of reassurance.
“There’s nothing wrong with the food,” Mrs. Norman said with a hiccup. Mascara ran like black tears from her huge, hurting eyes. “It’s delicious. And the people are nice, too, but they’re all couples. My husband only married me as a business proposition—he doesn’t even like me. He never tried to make our marriage anything else.”
“You might consider that men don’t read minds,” Nell told her gently, and even as she said it she smiled inwardly at the irony of telling this sophisticated woman anything about men, when her own love life was so confusing and unfamiliar. “Your husband might think you didn’t want to go with him.”
Mrs. Norman pulled away self-consciously and dried her eyes with a pure white linen handkerchief. Then she smiled a little shakily. “I’m sorry, I never go to pieces like this.” She blew her nose. “Actually, he asked me if I wanted to go, and I laughed at him. He’s not a handsome man, but I…I do love him.” She glanced at Nell. “Can I make a long-distance call to Europe and have it charged to my account?”
“Of course you can!” Nell smiled. “He might even decide to come back home.”
Mrs. Norman smiled back, suddenly looking ten years younger. “I’ll do it right now.” She took off the mink coat. “That’s my security blanket,” she added ruefully, draping it over one arm. “I hate the damned thing, it makes me sneeze, and it’s too hot to wear it anywhere except during blizzards in Alaska. I’ll just make that phone call.” She went inside the apartment, and before she closed the door she turned to look at Nell. “Thank you,” she said sincerely.
Nell couldn’t get over what had just happened. She felt on top of the world; she’d just learned a valuable lesson about human nature, and she might have helped save a marriage.
It wasn’t a good time for Tyler to come around the corner of the apartment block, glaring into space.
He stopped, looking at her. “Are you lost?” he asked.
“Not lately.” She put her hands in her back pockets and studied him quietly. “You look peaked.”
“Do I? Why did you go rushing out of the stable?” he demanded.
She lifted her eyebrows. “Three is still a crowd, isn’t it?”
“You thought I might have been waiting breathlessly for you to leave so that I could seduce Margie in one of the stalls?” he said with a cold tone to his deep voice.
Put that way, it sounded ridiculous. “Well, I guess not. But she was waiting for you.”
“She had some good news. You won’t get to hear it, of course,” he continued. He lit a cigarette and threw her a mocking smile. “Margie and I don’t think you deserve to hear it. You jump to conclusions on the shabbiest evidence, and you won’t listen to explanations. You’re still running away from involvement.”
“I’ve had some hard knocks in the past,” she defended herself.
“I know all about that,” he said. “I wormed the rest of it out of Margie, and I’m sorry about what happened to you. But I thought you and I were on the way to something more important than a few stolen kisses—yet I still can’t get close to you.”
She flushed, remembering the trail ride. “I wouldn’t exactly say that,” she faltered.
“I’m not talking about physical closeness,” he said curtly. “I can’t get close to you emotionally. You back away from me.”
“I have good reason to!” she shot back.
“Not with me, you don’t,” he said, his voice deep and quiet as he watched her. “I’m not asking you to move in with me, or even to spend the night with me in a nonplatonic way. I want you to trust me, Nell.”
“But I do trust you,” she began.
“Not in the way that counts.” He drew in a slow breath. “Well, I’ve had all I can take. I won’t run after you, honey. If you want anything more to happen between us, you’ll have to make the first move. I’m not going to touch you again. You’re going to have to decide.”
He moved away without another word, leaving Nell to stand there and watch him leave with her heart down around her ankles.
Mrs. Norman left in a delighted flurry that afternoon. Her husband had been thrilled to hear from her, and he’d decided to come home and meet her in Vermont for a second honeymoon. Nell had driven the older woman to the airport and had been fervently hugged before Mrs. Norman ran like a teenage girl to catch her plane.
At least someone was happy, Nell thought miserably. But it sure wasn’t her. She still didn’t understand why Tyler was trying to make her chase him. It didn’t really make sense. He was the man, and the man was supposed to make all the moves, not the woman; at least, not in Nell’s old-fashioned world.
Of course, Tyler was old-fashioned, too. That was the hard thing to reconcile. And with his attitude, it didn’t really make sense that he’d be hanging around Nell when he wanted Margie. And he had to want Margie. Every man did. Margie was beautiful and cultured and sophisticated, just the right kind of woman for a man like Tyler.
During the next few days, Margie kept very much to herself. She smiled at Nell as if nothing were wrong, but she spent a lot of time where the men—especially Tyler—were, and she kept the boys with her. She seemed to understand that her presence irritated Nell, and she did everything she could to make it bearable for the younger woman, right down to sleeping late and going to bed early.
Nell was actually looking for an excuse for a confrontation, because there was a lot she wanted to say to her sister-in-law. But Margie made that impossible, and even Tyler interfered if it looked as though Nell might find an opportunity. So the days went by with Nell getting more frustrated by the minute. What she didn’t know was that Darren McAnders had been furious that Margie was spending time with Tyler, and had begun to make his presence felt and heard while Tyler and Nell were away on the camp out. He and Margie had it out that very evening while the camp out was in full swing. The argument shortly began to have results. When no one was looking, McAnders picked Margie up and carried her off to a quiet spot under the big palo verde tree near the apartments. And there he kissed her until she couldn’t stand up or protest. Then he began to tell her how he felt and what he wanted. When he finished, she was smiling. And the next kiss was instigated by her. But they kept their secret, because Margie didn’t want to spring anything on Nell until Tyler had a chance to patch things up with his lady. Margie was getting impatient, though. Tyler and Nell seemed to have reached an impasse.
