We Dream of Gods, page 2
Not waiting for acceptance, I swept Lord Gori toward a nearby sitting room filled with old imperial grandeur and a fine layer of dust.
“This is an unlooked-for honour, Your Majesty,” Lord Gori said, managing to bow three times between entering the room and kneeling upon the cushion opposite. “I must also apologise for being so importunate just now; it is below my dignity and—”
“You mean it ought to be below your dignity, but desperation makes beggars of us all.” I smiled as his eyes widened. “What was it you requested from my chancellor just now?”
Lord Gori swallowed, sending a fleeting glance at Captain Kiren by the door. “I… uh…” The man deflated with a sigh. “Food, Your Majesty. We lost our harvest to the Chiltaen army, and now my people are starving before winter has even begun. Without supplies, I fear much of the north will not make it to the spring.”
“Have you spoken to Minister Oyamada?”
“I have not yet had the chance, Your Majesty. It seems he is too busy to see me for the next few days. But I will wait and put my case to him; it’s not something you should—”
“It is exactly what I should trouble myself with, Lord Gori. Minister Manshin’s only interest is in continuing to steer us toward war and destruction, but I serve my people. That is an empress’s job.”
Lord Gori frowned, and began words only to swallow them. By the door, Captain Kiren cleared his throat. Time was up.
“I must go now,” I said, rising from the table. “But a warning for you, Lord Gori. Minister Manshin is no friend to you, as he is no friend to me; if the time comes to fight, remember that.” As he hurriedly scrambled to his feet to bow, I added, “I will tell Minister Oyamada the granting of emergency food stores to you and the people of Hotai has my full approval.”
“Th-thank you, Your Majesty.”
I was at the door before he finished speaking. Captain Kiren slid it open, and I almost collided with a maid bringing the tea tray. She bowed and apologised and asked if I wished the tea taken elsewhere, while Captain Kiren’s eyes bulged with warning. “No,” I said. “The tea is for Lord Gori. I must go.”
I pushed past, sending the tea tray rattling. A glance both ways along the passage and my heart leapt into my throat. Manshin stood with General Moto at the corner, speaking in a low voice. He’d seen me, but at least he wasn’t alone. I spun away, hasty steps propelling me the opposite direction along the passage, Captain Kiren in my wake.
Manshin neither called out nor followed, and slowly my heartbeat returned to normal, though a sick dread kept churning in my gut. I’d been so careful about my meetings with those who came to pledge support, but this time had been too close for comfort.
Forcing a smile for every courtier that halted to bow, I made one more stop on the way to my apartments—a small shrine on the upper floor. My frequent visits there hadn’t gone unnoticed, but Sichi’s skill for gossip had everyone talking about how admirable it was that I paid my respects to Emperor Kin and Empress Hana so often.
As always, Captain Kiren waited outside the door, leaving me to step alone into the small, dimly lit space filled with guttering lanterns and stubs of incense. A basket of freshly folded prayers sat beside the altar. I took a handful, and laying them out one by one, I lit a fresh candle and rolled back onto my feet. Eyeing the narrow cupboard in the far corner, I took off my sandals and crept toward it, making no sound. Removing the key from its hook beneath was more difficult, even more so to slide it into the lock without scraping the sides. A cough covered the click of the lock, and with a satisfied smile, I eased the door open upon a waft of stale incense. The cupboard was full of candles and incense cones, prayer paper and sashes, and at the bottom beneath the basket of discarded candle stubs was a stack of letters. I drew them out and stuffed them inside my robe before carefully closing the cupboard and locking it again, returning everything to where it had been.
There was no sign of Manshin when I stepped back out into the passage, yet I couldn’t but feel watching eyes everywhere. The feeling remained until I stepped into the only safe place I had left. My apartments were grand rooms fit for Kisia’s ruler, yet like my mother’s apartments had been, they were a finely wrought prison.
Sichi and Nuru sat upon the window seat, their fingers entwined as they talked. The sight was so reminiscent of Edo and Tanaka that a lump of grief swelled, halting my steps abruptly in the middle of the floor. Nuru yanked her hands free, cheeks reddening around her defiant glare.
“I’m sorry, I…” But how could I explain? How could I express a grief that wasn’t only about loss but tangled with the pain of always being an afterthought to two people who loved each other? “I just had a thought,” I said, the lie so much easier. “Oh, and I’ve got the letters.”
Whatever questions Sichi might have asked, the mention of letters had her up and sweeping toward me, hands outstretched. “How many? From whom?”
“I haven’t had a chance to look yet,” I said, reaching into my robe. “But it’s quite a stack.”
Sichi all but snatched them from me as I drew the bundle free. “Lord Iraki,” she said, eyeing the seals as she flipped through them. “Governor Uhi, General Raan—”
“Lord Raan,” I corrected. “He isn’t a general anymore.”
“No, you’re right, but I assume that’s why you wrote to him.” She handed it over, along with the other two, sniffing in what I could only take as disapproval. “Ah! Look! Both Lady Zin and the Countess of Hurun have written back!”
Abandoning the rest of the stack, she hurriedly tore open the first of her letters.
“You think I shouldn’t have written to Lord Raan?” I said.
“What? No, I mean…” She sighed, lowering her own letter. “No, given what I know of his allegiances he’s a good person to court, I just… There are other strengths besides military might.”
“Of course there are, but we’re in the middle of a war. If we do not soon rid Kisia of the Chiltaens, Kisia as we know it will be gone.”
“Yes, but we’re also in the middle of social and political change. At least, I hope that’s what we’re fighting for.”
She spoke softly, but I bristled at the hint of censure. “We are, but we can’t change anything if we lose the battles.”
“And we won’t be able to if we fight the wrong way.”
I looked down at Lord Raan’s letter. “The wrong way? Unless I marry Leo Villius, what other way can we win but by fighting?”
“It’s not that I don’t think we need to fight,” Sichi said. “Just that if we want anything to change, we need to consider other allies as well. Politicians. Priests. Powerful speakers. Women intent on defying history.” She lifted her letters with a flourish. “Like Lady Zin and the Countess of Hurun. With the right people on our side, we could rebuild Kisia to be something greater. A society where war isn’t the sole ideal we build our identity upon, where culture and learning are valued over division and death.”
The words sucked the breath from my body and I stared at her, wrangling with an uncomfortable squirm of emotion. She spoke with such fire, and I couldn’t tell if I was more envious of her mind, ashamed of my own failings, or grateful for her guidance. What an empress she would have been to Tanaka had history taken a different course.
“Oh, there’s a letter from Edo here,” Sichi said, breaking the awkward pause that had followed her impassioned speech. “And there’s one sealed with plain wax. It’s for you.”
Someone had written my name but in a childish hand, and I couldn’t think who it could be. Glad to escape our conversation, I broke the seal and unfolded it, sliding my gaze down the page of ragged Kisian to the bottom where breath hitched in my chest. Tor.
Your Majesty,
Please forgive my not good writing. I am learning. I write when I have watched the camp of the Chiltaens and Leo Villius after retreat. They have remained not leave. If you want them not in your land you are lacking time to be gone of them. Many more are coming. Your army is largest now. Not later.
Eshenha surveid.
Tor
And that was it. What more had I expected? Some acknowledgement of the awkward way we had parted? Some sentiment? Truly it was kind of him to write at all, considering how much I had demanded again and again.
That the Chiltaens remained was not news, but that more were on their way? Did he mean the men coming with the secretary of the Nine to sign the treaty? Or others still? Warning Manshin would be admitting I had contacts outside what he controlled and play right into his hands.
I lowered Tor’s letter to find Sichi watching me, a small crease between her brows. “What is it?” I said, suddenly breathless. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?”
“Oh no, nothing, I just…” She held out a letter. “Edo wrote to warn of his impending arrival, and I’ve… I’ve had a thought, Miko. You don’t want to marry Leo, but marriage can make strong alliances, and marrying someone else would ensure my father can’t marry you to Leo—”
“I don’t want to marry anyone, Sichi.”
“Hear me out, Koko. To marry someone else now while promised to Leo Villius, you would have to marry someone who isn’t afraid of my father.” Sichi grimaced. “Or of Chiltae. Someone who wouldn’t shrink from spitting in Dom Villius’s face and risking further war.”
My thoughts slid toward Rah. He always did what was right no matter the cost and cared nothing for our power structures, but marriage to him was as impossible as marriage to a songbird. He’d made it clear his heart lay with his people.
“And I cannot but notice,” Sichi went on with a brief smile, “that Edo meets every one of those criteria.”
“Edo?” I stared, her words not fitting together in my mind.
“My cousin Edo,” she said, speaking more slowly. “He meets all of the criteria and is probably the only man who wouldn’t try to usurp your power or your position once you were married.”
I had dreamed of marrying Edo for a long time, of keeping us all together, of being wanted. Seen. But he had loved Tanaka, and Tanaka had loved him, and all my childish hopes he would one day look at me had fallen somewhere along the way.
“He’s on his way,” Sichi continued. “Might even arrive today. You could ask him.”
“I can’t just… ask him to—”
“Yes, Koko, you can. He’s been your friend all your life and you need him.”
I shook my head. “No, I mean he’s the Duke of Syan. He can’t be a duke and an emperor, which would mean having to give the dukedom to another. And while I remain under Manshin’s thumb, that other would be someone of his choosing.”
Sichi bit her nail, sinking deep into thought. Still sitting on the window seat, Nuru fiddled with the hem of her tunic. Our comfortable space had grown tense, and I itched to leave, to move, to do something. Anything. The letters could wait.
I knelt, patting my leg to wake Shishi from her sun-drenched doze before the balcony doors. “Come, girl,” I said as she got up and stretched, pushing her paws out in front of her. “We need to check on the army camp.”
Sichi clicked her tongue, but left her thoughts unspoken, instead carrying her bundle of letters to the writing table. No doubt she wanted to point out again the foolishness of my focus on soldiers and armies, and I was glad she kept it to herself. Soldiers and armies were what I knew and, in a war, what we needed.
Taking my worries with me, I left them to one another’s company and escaped with Shishi into the gardens and from there to the military camp, Captain Kiren a few steps behind me.
For the first time in many days the sun was shining, but a chill breeze gusting from the south stole its warmth. Whether due to the tunnelling wind or the eternal mud, army camps always seemed cold. The soldiers were keeping busy despite or perhaps because of the weather, each camp alive with training drills and all the other military things Manshin could order done in his sleep that I didn’t even understand.
With Shishi loping along at my side, I strode into the nearest camp, following Emperor Kin’s protocol of always being seen amongst his soldiers. Despite my frequent visits, soldiers and servants alike stopped to bow and murmur “Your Majesty” as I passed, keeping their distance.
“Your Majesty,” General Moto said, approaching with more ease than a traitor ought to possess. “What brings you out here to the mud and the sweat?”
“General,” I returned coolly. “Surely your spies have informed you that I walk through the camps every day. I would ask what you want, but unless it’s to beg forgiveness for committing treason against me, I’ll be on my way.”
The words owned more heat than was wise, but at least he had the grace to look guilty, even for just a moment. But he made no excuses and attempted no explanation, and that at least I could respect. A murmur of “Your Majesty,” and he let me go.
From the ranks of General Moto’s soldiers into General Rushin’s, I strode through the camps speaking to all who crossed my path, making a show of my existence before moving on toward the tents of the barbarian generals.
As was their way, I found General Yass and General Alon keeping busy, comfortably mixing with even their lowest-ranked soldiers. General Alon had his sleeves rolled up and was sweating through a training bout with a young recruit, while General Yass stood nearby answering all problems brought to him like an emperor seeing petitioners.
“Your Majesty,” he said, respect in the title but never awe. “Not just passing through today? To what do we owe this pleasure?”
“A very courtly formality, General,” I said.
“It seems apt given the amount of politics happening around here. Are you aware you’re being followed? I know all my soldiers and two men who do not belong in this camp are watching you.”
By his tone, he might have said something entirely mundane. “I was unaware but am unsurprised. I am watched wherever I go, so be sure to look displeased that I am interrupting your work.”
“That’s not difficult. Most Kisians think we always look angry. What can I do for you?”
“You can tell me whether you fight for me or for Minister Manshin.”
A bold question, but they’d always responded best to honesty.
General Yass turned to look at his fellow general as he caught a training blade upon his shield, filling the air with a reverberant clang. “The situation is difficult,” he said, not taking his eyes off the bout. “We need not pretend you don’t lack power, and that being the case we cannot risk an outright declaration of support. It would be a death wish, and as much as General Alon and I do not like to dissemble, we have to think of our men.”
“And were the situation different?” I said. “If I had more power? More allies? What then?”
“That would depend upon the allies, Your Majesty. And upon…” A moment’s silence and I couldn’t breathe, anxiety pouring into me until at last he turned back. “Unfortunately, the situation seems…” His gaze flicked over my shoulder to the spies who’d followed me. “Complicated. All I can assure you of is our mutual… dislike… of our esteemed minister of the left and our desire to rid Kisia of Chiltaens rather than bargaining with them.”
It was the closest I was going to get to a declaration of support, and it was both enough to make relieved tears prick my eyes and not nearly enough to change anything.
I thanked him and would have left upon the words, but General Yass had cocked his head in the direction of the chatter growing around us. “What’s going on, soldier?” he said, turning to one of his men.
“Bahain flags have been sighted, General.”
General Yass grunted, noncommittal. “Interesting development.” He threw a sidelong look my way. “Your allies, Your Majesty? Or his?”
“Mine,” I said, hoping it was true. Edo and I hadn’t parted on the best terms after the battle of Kogahaera, but we would always be the only piece of Tanaka each of us had left.
Edo stood where Lord Gori had that morning, but he didn’t kneel. He spoke no oath. He had understood the hastily scrawled warning I’d sent him—there was no loyalty to me here, only to Manshin.
Beside me, the minister lifted his chin. “Nephew,” he said, reminding Edo who had seniority, that here he was but a child. “Your oath?”
There were only guards to witness Edo lift his chin in return. “I’m afraid as Duke of Syan and commander of the fleet, I cannot yet give my oath, Uncle. Not without understanding the nature of the alliance you are forging with Chiltae.”
How Tanaka would have grinned to see Edo standing so tall and speaking with such assurance, and talking back to someone who was not only the highest power in the land but also an elder of his own family.
Minister Manshin drew himself up, his long intake of breath betraying annoyance. “It is not your place to demand such—”
“With all due respect, Your Excellency,” Edo interrupted, “it is my job to ensure the safety of Syan and its people. We need not pretend I can’t maintain my land and title without imperial support, as my father did for many years. I do not wish to follow in his shadow, but many of my men fought and died at Kogahaera, against the Chiltaens. Chiltaens who still have a substantial military presence within our borders and who are led by a man who doesn’t die. Under such circumstances, I cannot give my oath to an empress who would ally herself to them through marriage.” His stare slid my way. “We need also not pretend you don’t need my army and my ships, so I require a plain answer.”
“To what question?” Manshin said, and ice could have formed on the words.
“To the question of what in all the hells you think you’re doing to let Her Majesty make such an alliance, Minister.”
At my side, Manshin flinched, and it was all I could do not to grin. By the gods, Tanaka would have loved this.
“How dare you stand there and show such disrespect,” Manshin said. “You bring disgrace upon our family with your words.”
Despite his assurance, Edo flushed. “That isn’t an answer, Your Excellency. Leo Villius is Kisia’s greatest threat, not someone Her Majesty ought to marry.”
