The Jacaranda House, page 27
‘I bet she can do it, though,’ Gina said. ‘When I was living with Nannie, at school for a while we all used to chew Juicy Fruit gum. It was my absolute favourite. And one day I was chewing it at home and Nannie caught me and made me spit it out and gave me such a hiding! Jeez! She reckoned it was common and made me look like a cow chewing its cud and she said if she ever caught me chewing it again I’d be grounded for a year and she kept checking my breath, so I had to give it up. That was hard, but I did it.’
‘I bet that was hard,’ Rhoda said, ‘but chewing gum and drugs . . . er, medicine . . . aren’t quite the same thing.’
Gina looked at her. ‘Drugs? Is Mum a drug addict?’
Star and Rhoda stared back.
‘How do you know what a drug addict is?’ Star said.
‘I’ve heard things at school.’
‘At school!’ Rhoda was disgusted. ‘They talk about drugs at school?’
‘Well, you know, I’m not in kindergarten now. But Mum can’t be a drug addict.’
‘Why not?’ Rhoda asked cautiously.
‘Because drug addicts are scum. They’re useless and lazy and won’t do anything to help themselves.’
‘Who told you that?’ Star said.
‘Everyone knows that.’
Rhoda made a decision. ‘Well, you’re right, your mum’s not a drug addict, but she does have a bit of a problem with her medicine. I don’t think the dose she’s taking is quite right so we’ll have to get that fixed, won’t we?’
‘That’d be good,’ Gina said, rolling the dice. ‘Oh, poo, now I’ve landed on a snake. I want her to be like she was when I first got here. She was fun then. I don’t like it when she isn’t happy.’
‘Neither do we,’ Rhoda agreed. ‘We’ll see what we can do, shall we?’
Polly emerged from her room then, and sat on the sofa looking wan. She lit a cigarette and said, ‘Well?’
‘We’re waiting for Evie,’ Star said.
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ Polly muttered.
Gina asked, ‘Are you feeling better, Mum?’
‘I am a bit, thanks, love. Did you sleep well?’
‘Not really. I had a nightmare.’
‘Really? What did you dream about?’
Tatiana jumped onto the coffee table and walked across the Snakes and Ladders board, knocking off all the tokens.
Gina made a face. ‘I can’t really remember but we were on a plane and Nannie was outside, in the sky, banging on the window.’
‘Was she riding a broom?’ Polly said.
‘A broom? No. And I couldn’t find the door to let her in.’
‘That sounds a bit scary,’ Star said.
‘It was. I felt really sort of panicky because I thought she was going to fall. And then I woke up.’
‘Well, it was just a dream,’ Polly said.
Gina nodded. ‘I know.’
Someone knocked on the door.
Rhoda said, ‘That’ll be Evie.’
It was. Rhoda had told her on the phone about Gina finding Polly in a state, but she marched in looking pissed off with everyone. She gave Polly a filthy look, and stood in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips.
‘Why is Gina here?’ she demanded.
‘She lives here,’ Polly said.
‘Don’t push me, girl,’ Evie replied in a very controlled voice. ‘This is so absolutely not funny. I’ve come round to help you sort yourself out and it’s not appropriate for Gina to be here right now. She’s a child! What are you all thinking? Honestly, am I the only adult here at the moment?’
Rhoda opened her mouth to protest, then shut it again.
‘Probably,’ Star said.
‘I’m sorry, love,’ Evie said to Gina, ‘but we need to have a talk. I’d like you to go downstairs to Helen and Keith for a while, please.’
‘About Mum?’ Gina asked.
‘Yes, about your mum.’
‘I want to stay.’
‘Well, you can’t. This is grown-up business.’
Gina turned to Polly. ‘I want to stay, Mum.’
Looking down at her hands, Polly said, ‘It’s probably best if you don’t.’
Evie said, ‘Star, can you take her down?’
Rhoda cast about furiously for something to make Gina feel better. ‘Why don’t you take Tatty? You know how adorable Helen thinks she is.’
‘OK,’ Gina said after a moment.
‘Good idea,’ Star replied, scooping up Tatiana so swiftly the little cat was almost sick. ‘Let’s go!’
When they’d gone, Evie said to Polly, ‘Well done.’
‘What?’
‘I said well done. You got so out of it your daughter couldn’t wake you up. You must have scared the crap out of her. That’s what I call being a responsible mother.’
‘Oh, give it a rest.’
‘No, you give it a rest. It’s not funny, Pol. What the hell are you on?’
‘Heroin,’ Rhoda said.
Polly said, ‘Thanks, bigmouth.’
Rhoda shrugged: someone had to say it.
Evie sat down. ‘You know, I’m not surprised? I did wonder. You’ve been looking pretty rough lately. Please tell me you’re not on the needle.’
Polly shook her head. ‘Smoking it.’
‘That’s bad enough.’ Evie sighed. ‘Jesus Christ.’
‘Does anyone fancy a cuppa?’ Rhoda asked. ‘I think I’ll make another pot.’
‘I’ll have one, thanks,’ Evie said.
Polly said, ‘I need to go back to bed.’
‘Well, you can’t,’ Evie said. ‘You’ll stay there on that couch and when Star gets back we’re all going to talk this out. It can’t go on, Polly. You’ll kill yourself.’
‘Talking about it isn’t going to change anything!’ Polly burst out.
‘It’s a start,’ Evie said. ‘At least we’ll know what we’re dealing with.’
‘You’re not dealing with anything.’
‘Aren’t we? You think Gina isn’t? Don’t be so bloody selfish.’
‘Tea, Polly?’ Rhoda sang out from the kitchen.
‘Yes!’ Polly shrieked back.
‘All right, I was just asking. Christ.’
Star returned and settled herself in an armchair. Rhoda brought the tea, arranging the pot, cups and saucers on the coffee table. And then there was silence.
Evie broke it. ‘Are you going to be honest about what’s been going on?’
Polly just sighed, apparently unable to answer the question.
‘Why don’t you start from the beginning?’ Evie suggested.
Again Polly seemed at a loss, fidgeting and wiping her nose on the back of her hand and finally lighting a cigarette.
‘All right then,’ Evie tried, ‘how long have you been using heroin?’
‘A few months.’
‘Are you getting it from work?’
Polly nodded.
‘Are you buying it or helping yourself?’
‘I’m buying it!’ Polly exclaimed.
But Rhoda had seen her hesitate for the tiniest of seconds. She was dying to see if Star and Evie had also noticed, but dared not in case Polly saw and threw a wobbly. She didn’t want Polly to go mental and stomp off – they might never get her to sit down and talk with them like this again.
‘Because you could just help yourself, couldn’t you, in your position?’ Evie said. ‘Adler’s hopeless. He thinks he’s God’s gift to running a business but he couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.’
‘I’m paying for it,’ Polly insisted.
‘Must be costing you a mint,’ Star said. ‘How much a week?’
‘None of your business.’
‘It is our business, actually,’ Evie said. ‘You’re not looking after Gina properly and if you don’t do something about cleaning up your act I’m going to get in touch with your brother.’
Rhoda nearly gasped. Surely Evie wouldn’t do that!
Polly’s eyes narrowed. ‘You wouldn’t.’
‘I bloody would,’ Evie said. ‘Look, I’m not trying to make you feel bad, Polly. I know you already feel horrible. But this isn’t just about you: it’s about Gina as well. It’s not fair on her, really it isn’t. You must know that. She’s only a child and she deserves much better from you than what she’s getting. She’s behaving like a little adult because she loves you and she thinks she has to look after you, and, to be honest, it sounds like that’s what she’s got used to, living with your mum. But she isn’t an adult: she’s only just about to turn twelve. It isn’t fair. And I know you’d give her so much more if you could but right now you can’t, so you’re going to have to make some big changes. It’ll be hard but you can do it. You’re one of the toughest women I know. So no more hiding things and no more lies, all right?’
Polly burst into tears. ‘Don’t tell Sonny. He’ll come and take her away.’
‘But only because he loves her,’ Rhoda said. ‘He loves you, too, remember.’
‘Then make some changes,’ Evie said. ‘Start today. Stop the heroin. Stop all those other bloody drugs.’
‘I can’t.’
‘You can.’
‘It’s not that easy!’
‘I didn’t say it was.’
Polly mumbled something.
‘What?’ Evie said leaning towards her.
‘I did steal from Adler,’ Polly said, louder this time.
‘The heroin?’ Evie said, alarmed.
Polly nodded.
‘How much?’
‘About four hundred and eighty pounds’ worth.’
There was a very horrible silence.
‘And he hasn’t noticed?!’ Star exclaimed. ‘Fuck me!’
‘He hardly ever reconciles the drugs drawer with the cash,’ Polly said. ‘He’s only interested in the money. I’m in charge of the drawer. When it gets low I tell him and he orders more. I can’t even keep track of it these days.’
‘God, he sounds useless,’ Rhoda said. ‘What does he do when he’s at work? And can’t he tell a drug addict when he sees one?’
‘Well, I don’t go to work looking like a junkie,’ Polly protested.
‘Says you,’ Star muttered.
‘He sits in his office smoking stinky cigars,’ Evie said, ‘or he swans about kissing the arses of punters he thinks are rich and famous. It’s sick-making. But he’s not completely stupid. He will notice he’s missing that amount of money eventually. I can’t believe you’ve been so dumb, Polly. You’ll have to pay it back, and quickly.’
‘What with?’
‘Your savings.’
‘I haven’t got any.’
‘Yes, you have.’
‘Not any more.’
Rhoda pressed her hand over her mouth. She’d wondered why Polly had stopped bringing home treats and going to the nail salon and hadn’t bought anything new for a while.
‘Have you spent the lot?’ she asked.
Polly nodded.
‘On smack?’
Another nod.
‘Bloody hell, girl.’
‘For Christ’s sake, Pol,’ Evie said. ‘How much are you using?’
Polly told them, which was pointless because none of them knew how much was a lot for a heroin addict to use daily, or how much was a little. Polly only knew what she needed to make herself feel normal, and at the moment that was two-thirds of whatever was in a packet pinched from Joe Adler.
‘Have you been to the doctor?’ Star said.
‘Why would I go to the doctor?’ Polly asked.
‘I dunno. He might suggest something you could try.’
Polly said, ‘I’ve already got half a pharmacy in my room.’
‘You could lay off all that, too,’ Evie suggested. ‘You were a zombie half the time before you even started on the heroin. I did tell you.’
‘I know,’ Polly snapped. ‘But I need it.’
‘What have you got?’ Star asked.
‘Upper, downers, sleeping tablets and some morphine.’
‘You can flush the morphine down the loo,’ Evie said. ‘Take that and you might as well keep on with the heroin.’
‘It’s not the same thing when it’s in a tablet,’ Polly argued.
‘Bullshit. What did I say about stopping the lies?’
‘It’s not a lie! It isn’t the same.’
‘It has the same effect.’
‘It doesn’t,’ Polly insisted. ‘I should bloody know.’
‘Girls, girls,’ Rhoda said. ‘I think we’re getting side-tracked.’
‘I don’t,’ Evie snapped.
Rhoda glanced at her. She was a little bit afraid of Evie. She was always so beautifully groomed, and clever and no-nonsense, and just a little bit aloof. Not unapproachable, just a tiny bit apart, as though she were a slightly different species. It made her nervous sometimes, because you never knew when she might jump down your throat. She hardly ever did, but you never knew when she might.
‘I think the big thing here,’ she said, ‘apart from Polly having a drug problem, is she’s nicked nearly five hundred quids’ worth of heroin from her boss. He might be an idiot but he’s bound to find out. And she can’t pay it back ’cos she’s blown all her savings as well. So, what are we going to do?’
‘Well, I haven’t got four hundred and eighty quid,’ Star said. ‘But if I did you could have it.’
‘Really?’ Polly said.
‘’Course.’
‘But . . . why?’
‘Because we’re mates and you’re in deep shit.’ Star lit a cigarette. ‘Adler’s an idiot like Rho said, but if he thinks he’s a gangster, you know, like Abe Saffron, he’ll definitely come after you to get it back. Or send someone after you.’
‘He does think he’s a gangster,’ Evie said. ‘Stupid little toad.’
‘I haven’t got it, either,’ Rhoda said. ‘I’ve got hardly anything stashed away, thanks to Terry.’
‘That’s what you get for keeping your money under the mattress,’ Star said.
‘Yes, yes, I know. You don’t have to keep on about it.’
Evie said, ‘I’ve got a bit but not much. I just wired quite a lot home. I don’t keep much money here in Australia but I can give you a hundred.’
‘What can we sell?’ Rhoda said.
‘Not my carriage clocks,’ Star said bitterly.
They all looked at the television.
‘But that’s Gina’s,’ Polly said. ‘Sonny paid for that. She loves it. Why should she miss out just because I –?’
She stopped mid-sentence as she realised what she was saying, then burst into tears again.
‘Not the television then,’ Rhoda said.
They added up what they could scrape together: it came to two hundred and thirty pounds. Not enough.
*
The end came before Polly was ready but later than she’d expected. She supposed that when you deliberately persisted with blatantly stupid behaviour that was the result you got. She was just finishing work and putting away the key to the drugs drawer when Adler appeared in the foyer.
‘In my office,’ he said, and disappeared down the stairs.
Polly looked at David, who shrugged his massive shoulders. She grabbed her handbag and went downstairs, her belly feeling as though it were filled with angry, trapped moths.
‘Shut the door,’ Adler said when she entered his office. He didn’t invite her to sit down but she did anyway, perching on the edge of a chair, wishing she’d had time to swallow a couple of Quaaludes to calm herself. Maybe she could say she had to go to the toilet. Maybe she could –
‘There’s product gone missing,’ Adler said. ‘I’ve tallied up exactly what I’ve ordered with the money we’ve taken, including the product still in the drawer, and there’s a shortfall. Quite a big one. Do you know anything about that?’
Acid rose up into Polly’s gullet and she swallowed, hard. ‘No.’
‘Well, I’m down seven hundred and ninety quid.’
Polly nearly fainted. Seven hundred and ninety? She hadn’t stolen that much! She swallowed again. ‘I don’t know anything about that.’
Adler looked disbelieving. ‘That’s strange because, apart from me, you’re the only other person with access to that drawer. Who else could have helped themselves?’
‘I don’t know.’
Leaning back in his chair, his arms crossed, Adler said, ‘Also, a little bird tells me you’ve got a drug problem. Is that true?’
‘Terry Lawson’s a poisonous little bitch.’
‘Granted, but is it true?’
‘No, it’s not.’
Adler sighed, made his fingers into a steeple and said, ‘Polly, Polly, Polly. I had such high hopes for you.’
Oh fuck off, she thought, you did not.
Another sigh. ‘You’re fired,’ Adler said. ‘And I want that money back. All of it. I’ll give you a week from today. I can’t be more generous than that.’
Polly was in a quandary. She couldn’t complain that three hundred and ten pounds’ worth of the missing heroin must have been nicked by someone else without admitting she’d pinched the rest, and she certainly wasn’t doing that even though she had. She still had a few shreds of pride left.
So she got up and walked out.
*
‘What did he want?’ David asked, after bidding good night to a couple of drunk stragglers leaving the Alibi Room.
‘He fired me.’
David’s face fell. ‘What for?’
Feeling her face heat up, Polly realised she might as well tell him the truth. ‘I stole some of his heroin. Quite a bit, actually.’
‘For you?’
Polly nodded.
‘Mmm.’ David made a sympathetic face. ‘Don’t feel bad. I thought that might be what was going on. Not that you were pinching it, just that you might have a bit of a problem.’
‘Well, now I’ve got another one. He’s only given me a week to give him all the money back for the drugs I stole.’
‘How much is that?’
‘Well, I know I took nearly five hundred quids’ worth, but he reckons I owe him eight hundred, but I don’t.’
David winced. Then he lowered his head, closed his eyes and pressed a closed fist against his brow.
Polly watched him for a minute. ‘What are you doing?’
David looked up. ‘I’m praying for you.’
Polly felt disconcerted. ‘Oh. Thank you.’ Why was he always so nice? But she appreciated it.
