Must Love Flowers, page 11
“You sure about that?”
“Well, I wasn’t in the beginning, but I am now. I’m happy with the puppy. Is that why you called?”
“Yeah, and to tell you I’m going to be in Seattle for some meetings in a week or so.”
Joan’s spirits raised. It’d been far too long since she’d last seen her son. “How long can you stay? I’ll get your room ready and—”
“Mom, hold up. It’s a two-day trip, and I’m going to be in meetings the entire time.”
“You will stop by, right?” If he was in town and didn’t come see her, she’d be devastated.
“I’ll do my best. It sort of depends on what flights are available. If I can catch an early-morning flight, then I’ll be by for sure.”
“What about after the conference?”
Steve exhaled audibly. “I tried to arrange that, but the warehouse is scheduled to do inventory right afterward. When I realized I would be in Seattle and might not have time to visit my own mother, I booked a flight in September for a week.”
Joan’s heart leaped with excitement. “Oh Steve, that’s wonderful. I can’t wait to meet Zoe. Will she be with you?”
“No, Mom. It’ll just be me.”
“Oh.” This disappointed Joan. She longed to ask what had changed between the two, but hesitated. The last time she’d brought up Zoe’s name, Steve had been quick to change the subject. Not wanting to cut off the conversation, she kept her questions to herself.
His phone buzzed, indicating Steve had another call coming in. “I need to take this, Mom. It’s work. We’ll connect soon, okay?”
“Of course.” With the call ended, Joan sighed. The conversation was far too short. She’d wanted to tell her son about the positive changes she’d made in the last few weeks, and that she’d taken in a boarder and gone to a therapist, but she hadn’t had the chance.
Next time, for sure.
* * *
—
All too soon it was time for Joan to leave for the therapy group. She dragged her feet as long as she could, dreading this. She would keep her word to Dr. O’Brien and attend this one session, but that was it. Once her obligation was fulfilled, she wanted nothing more to do with this group. Her main goal was to get through the meeting without breaking down into a sobbing mess.
The reason she’d sought a therapist was to dig herself out of the dark hole she’d buried herself in for the last four years. What she didn’t need was to meet others in the same pit and feel the weight of their grief along with her own. For the first time, she was making progress. She wanted to move forward, not backward, and she was convinced this group would impede her efforts rather than help.
“I shouldn’t be long,” she told Maggie, who’d taken to studying at the kitchen table. Joan was pleased that she chose not to spend all her time in her room. Maggie had one last final. Her plan, as she’d explained to Joan, was to work as many hours as she could over the summer months to save up for the next semester of schooling. She wouldn’t hear about the scholarship for another few days. Joan sincerely hoped Maggie received the financial assistance she needed to continue her studies. From everything she’d seen, Joan believed Maggie would make a wonderful nurse.
The parking lot was filled with several cars when Joan pulled in. She was lucky to find a space. She waited in her car until the last minute before she headed toward the office. Dr. O’Brien was in the foyer area and appeared to be waiting for her.
She opened the door for Joan. “I’m so pleased you came.”
“I said I would.”
“You could have easily found an excuse.”
Joan had come up with several. In the end she felt obligated to follow through, even if she had to grit her teeth the entire session.
“Is there anything you’d like to know before we go into the group?” Dr. O’Brien asked.
Joan shook her head, then reconsidered. “There are only eight members, right? That’s what you told me earlier.”
“Yes, and all eight are in the conference room already.”
“There seems to be a lot of cars in the lot.”
Dr. O’Brien nodded, confirming her observation. “Several of the counselors see clients after-hours. Not everyone is able to make a daytime appointment.”
That made sense and eased her concerns of having to face a roomful of strangers.
“Are you sure you don’t want to know anything about the other group members before we go in?” she asked, as she led the way down a long hallway.
“Seeing that I only intend to be here for this one session, I don’t think that’s necessary.”
“As you wish.” She stopped in front of the door marked Conference Room and pushed it open.
Joan walked into the room and noticed a circle of folding chairs. Several faces turned to look in her direction, but she avoided eye contact, keeping her gaze lowered.
“Good evening,” Dr. O’Brien said. “We have a visitor tonight. I’d like you to welcome Joan Sample.”
A chorus of greetings came, and Joan looked up for the first time.
Her breath froze in her lungs.
There in the group sat Phil Harrison, her landscaper.
Chapter 15
If Joan was shocked to see him, it was nothing compared to the way Phil felt. His emotions bounced from regret to relief and then to a sense of welcome. Knowing she was a widow, Phil had tossed around the idea of mentioning the grief counseling group himself. From personal experience, he knew being with others who had suffered significant losses would help Joan. Convinced the group might interest her, he’d tried to think of ways to bring it up in their conversations and never found the right opportunity. That Joan discovered the group on her own was a blessing, although he feared his being a group member might make her uncomfortable. He hoped that wouldn’t be the case.
“Oh good,” Mary Lou chirped in, breaking into his whirling thoughts. “Another woman. Welcome, Joan.” Mary Lou patted the empty chair next to her, indicating that she wanted Joan to sit by her.
Joan offered Mary Lou a weak smile and claimed the seat, which relieved Phil. He was afraid she might sit next to him, as the only other empty chair was at his side. Having her close would be uncomfortable for them both.
His mind was racing, trying to decide if he should mention that they already knew each other or wait for her to bring it up. It was awkward, unsettling, and a bit unnerving at the same time.
“Why don’t we start by introducing ourselves to Joan,” Dr. O’Brien suggested, motioning toward the others.
Doug spoke first. He’d lost his wife a couple years ago and had come a long way in the healing process. Phil had noticed Doug’s keen interest in Mary Lou of late, although the woman seemed oblivious. It could be she had read the signs and decided to ignore Doug’s attention.
Sally was next. “I’m Sally, and Mary Lou’s right, we need another woman around here to balance everything out. I’m so glad you’re here.”
Sally was in her mid-seventies and widowed within the last year. Like Joan, she struggled with the loss of her husband and had trouble traversing the unfamiliarity of living life alone. She spoke of how uncomfortable it was for her to assume the tasks her husband had always done. Her children were a big help, but she realized she couldn’t rely on them too heavily.
The rest of the group shared their names. Warren. James. Glenn. Sherry.
When it came to his turn, Phil simply said his name and didn’t add any other pertinent information, as a couple of the others had. Each had offered a welcome, and he did the same, almost by rote.
“Joan,” Dr. O’Brien said, “would you like to tell us something about yourself?”
Her gaze flew to Phil. Her look resembled that of a deer trapped in the light of an oncoming vehicle.
“Ah…” she started and hesitated. “As I said earlier, I’m a widow.”
“Me, too,” Mary Lou inserted. “And so is Sally.”
Joan offered her newfound friends a weak smile. “Jared died four years ago, and I’ve mostly kept to myself since then.” She added a few details about how her husband’s sudden death upturned her life.
“I know exactly how you felt,” Sally said when Joan finished. “My husband had a heart attack and was gone before the ambulance arrived. We had booked two cruises and had all these plans for when George retired, and then, poof, he was gone in the flash of an eye. We loved cruising, letting someone else pamper us.”
“But, Sally, tell Joan,” Mary Lou inserted. “You went on those cruises anyway and had the time of your life.”
Sally grinned. “I did. My best friend from high school came with me. In the beginning, I didn’t want to go, since they were planned for George and me. My kids were the ones who insisted I follow through, and I’m so pleased I did.
“In some ways, seeing Spain and Italy was exactly what I needed. I wished it could have been with George, but every site I visited, I felt he was with me in spirit. Those cruises and this group have helped me realize that, while George is gone, I have a whole lot of life left in me.”
Mary Lou looked toward Joan. “There is life after a significant loss, Joan. Each one of us is here because we’re working to forge a path to find meaning again. You will, too. I’m happy you’ve decided to join us.”
Joan nodded. “I’m beginning to see that.”
Dr. O’Brien looked well pleased.
Doug shared next and said he’d gone onto a dating website, even setting up a profile.
“Oh,” Warren said, perking up, all ears. “You find anyone interesting?”
Warren was a younger member of the group, around fifty, Phil guessed. They weren’t that far apart in age. His wife died of cancer several years back. His youngest daughter was in college, and he’d mentioned dating a time or two with little success. It was clear he was interested, although shy and unsure of himself.
“No one I’d seriously consider,” Doug answered. “But I’ve got to say checking out what interested these women scared me plenty. We all know the importance of being careful these days. Women look at my picture and all they see is dollar signs.”
Both Mary Lou and Sally burst out laughing, and Phil noticed that Joan had a hard time holding back a smile.
“What age span are you considering?” Dr. O’Brien asked, clearly amused herself.
“I was thinking someone in her forties.”
“Forties,” James scoffed. “You old coot. What would a woman in her forties see in you?”
“I’m not that old,” Doug insisted. “I’m thinking a twenty-year difference isn’t that much. Not in this day and age.”
“In other words, you’re looking to date a woman young enough to be your daughter?” Sally asked.
“Or granddaughter,” Mary Lou added.
Doug’s face flushed pink. “Go ahead and tease me all you like. It’s still worth a try.”
Phil didn’t envy his friend entering back into the dating world. At this stage of life, finding the right woman was bound to be difficult. While he knew Doug was partly joking, he was serious, too. He suspected the older man’s sudden interest in dating was an attempt to spur a reaction from Mary Lou. If the smile she struggled to suppress was any indication, Doug’s plan had failed.
After an hour, the meeting came to a close. As was their tradition, several members met up afterward at a local restaurant for coffee and chitchat. Phil often attended, although this evening he needed to get home.
As he folded his chair and set it against the wall, he heard Mary Lou invite Joan to join the others for coffee. He didn’t hear her response.
Exiting the room, he slapped Doug on the back and wished him well. “Don’t give up hope finding the right woman,” he said, sending his friend a subtle message regarding Mary Lou.
“I don’t intend to,” Doug responded with a grunt.
When he passed Joan, Dr. O’Brien was talking to her. He wanted to welcome her and tell her he hoped she’d return. He wanted to reassure her if she harbored any doubts about the two of them attending the same group. Standing around, waiting until Joan finished with Dr. O’Brien, would be awkward for them both, and so he left, determined to clear the air the next time he saw her.
He’d need to look at his schedule to confirm the next time he was due at her property. That was likely to be the best time for them to chat. With that in mind, he walked across the parking lot to where he’d parked his car and headed home.
Chapter 16
Maggie was eager to hear about Joan’s experience with the grief therapy group, and she wasn’t disappointed. From the moment she returned, Joan couldn’t stop talking about the group and how it was unlike anything she’d expected. Apparently one of the widows had been a big encouragement. Joan mentioned Mary Lou several times and the fact that she had lost her husband as well. Everyone had been open and had welcomed her. She’d said her biggest fear was that the grief others had suffered would be a weight too heavy for her to bear, but that hadn’t been the case at all.
That night Joan spoke to Maggie for the first time about what had happened to her husband. Until then, Joan hadn’t mentioned Jared’s name. All at once she seemed to have a lot to say about him and the aftermath of his sudden death.
“After I lost Jared, I was crazy with fear,” Joan admitted. “I mean really afraid. There was the dental practice and all these people who relied on Jared for their healthcare who I needed to inform. I spent days canceling appointments and dealing with the aftermath of the unexpected shock of it all.”
“What happened to the practice? Did you close it down?” Maggie couldn’t help being curious.
“No, I sold it, but not without a lot of angst. Everything hit at once. Not only was I grieving; I believe I was in some kind of emotional shock. I had a difficult time making even the simplest decisions, like what flowers I wanted at Jared’s services.”
“How awful.” Maggie couldn’t help being sympathetic. It was hard to think of this strong woman crazed with grief and confusion. It’d been much different when her mother passed. Elaine Herbert had lingered for days between life and death, so when the news came, it wasn’t a complete shock. At the time Maggie thought she had mentally prepared herself for the worst. The loss hit her hard, and her father, too, although he showed his pain in different ways, comforting himself with beer and sleepless nights. The last week of her mother’s life, Roy Herbert had stayed at his wife’s side, never leaving her alone. When she’d passed, he’d completely broken down, sobbing as she’d never seen her father do before.
As Joan spoke about losing her husband, it brought up a lot of memories of when her mother had passed. Maggie was a good listener, and the two spoke late into the night as Joan poured out her heart.
“Do you think you’ll go back to the group sessions?” she asked, although it was clear that Joan had enjoyed it.
“I will…only…”
“Only what?”
“You’ll never guess who else was there,” Joan said.
“You’re right, I probably won’t, so tell me.”
“Phil Harrison.”
“The landscaper?” That was a surprise.
“I assumed he was married, and now I’m unsure. He didn’t mention why he was in the group, and I didn’t ask.”
Maggie noticed the way Joan twisted her hands. “Does it bother you that he’s part of the group?”
“Not necessarily, although I’ll admit he didn’t say much. If anything, I believe he was as surprised to find me there as I was to see him.”
“Did you talk to him after the meeting?”
“I wanted to,” Joan admitted, “but I got distracted by Dr. O’Brien, who wanted feedback on how I thought the meeting went. By the time we finished, Phil had already left.”
* * *
—
Friday afternoon, Maggie was in a good mood. She’d taken the last of her finals and felt confident she’d done well. The morning had started out gray and cloudy as she headed to work and then to the college campus. By the time she finished the exam, the sky was a dazzling shade of blue and the sun was out.
Maggie spent the early afternoon at the school with the two children she tutored. Both Caleb and Victoria had made progress since she’d started working with them on their reading problems.
“We only have three more weeks of school,” Caleb reminded her, as if he was carefully counting down the days. It had been difficult for him to be still, and he repeatedly bounced against the back of his chair. “Mrs. Patrick said if I can read at grade level, I won’t need to attend summer school.”
“That’s amazing! You’re almost there, Caleb.” Maggie knew that would give him the incentive he needed to do his assigned reading homework. Grinning, Caleb nodded, as if it was a done deal.
“This doesn’t mean you can slack off, you know.”
One bounce, then two. “I won’t, I promise.”
“Good,” she said with a wink.
Her next student was Victoria, who was a shy, sweet girl. Maggie suspected she didn’t have a great home life and had little support from her single mother when it came to completing her schoolwork. With encouragement and praise, Victoria had made great strides in her reading.
“Look at you,” Maggie said, praising the youngster, who had sounded out the word magazine without any help. “Pretty soon you’re going to be reading at a college level.”
Victoria blushed and offered Maggie a timid smile.
Maggie had grown close to both her students and was proud of the hard work they had put in and the progress they’d made. Feeling invigorated, she headed back to the house, her mind churning over ways to reward her star pupils at the end of the school year.
When Maggie arrived at the house it was after four. She found Phil busy at work, mowing the lawn.
