EFT for Fibromyalgia, page 9
The end point of the Small Intestine energy meridian is on the side of the hand, the Karate Chop point in EFT. (You can also stimulate this meridian by tapping the top, the watch-face side, of either wrist.)
Think about what we are doing when we tap on the side of the hand in EFT. In thought and action, in intention and in energy, we are saying to ourselves:
Even though I have this stressful problem that is upsetting me, I love and accept myself and how I feel anyway.
Even though I am having these stressful experiences, and am telling myself negative things about my self-worth, I understand and appreciate myself anyway, and I am doing the best I can.
There is hope! I value my Spirit. I love that I am making a home for my spirit in my heart.
Summary of Tapping for Fibromyalgia
to Bring Harmony to the Spirit
Begin with pain in the body.
Use imagination and metaphor.
Tap for painful experiences.
Tap for beliefs that were formed from painful experiences; understand the positive intention.
Reframe what happened in a way that nourishes you.
Tap for emotions that arise from the constricting beliefs.
Tap for self-blame, high expectations, and perfectionism.
Invite allowing, opening, grounding, and trusting.
Honor sensitivity: …and I honor myself for how hard this has been for me.
…and I deserve to take good care of myself.
Incorporate your sense of spirituality to build a sense of personal sovereignty:
This is Where I Stand: I am bringing harmony to my spirit.
Tapping Is “Energy Hygiene”
In his book Introduction to Incarnational Spirituality, philosopher and “practical mystic” David Spangler cites the three components of energy hygiene as flow, positivity, and connectedness. He explains:
Each of us is like a pool of energy. As long as energy is flowing in and out in a healthy way, this pool is alive, clear and clean; when this flow is obstructed by a buildup of “psychic lint,” then the pool can begin to stagnate.
Restoring and maintaining a healthy flow of energy is important. A good walk, physical activity, learning something new, doing something kind for someone else are all simple ways of restoring flow; there are also techniques for restoring this flow on a subtle energy level.
Being positive is more than just practicing positive thinking, though that can be helpful. Positivity is a condition of being radiant, open, giving, confident, and strong. It is an energy state as much as a psychological one.
There are many ways of developing and maintaining this state, but they are all enhanced by valuing and honoring yourself and standing in your uniqueness and sovereignty.
Connectedness opens us to a larger world beyond ourselves and enables us to participate in a greater wholeness. A pool stagnates when it is unconnected to living streams of water and ultimately to the ocean on the one hand, and the wellsprings deep within the earth on the other. So too we need to be connected to the vitality and life, the spirit and wellbeing of the world around us.
We create good energy conditions for ourselves not by isolating ourselves behind shields and barriers but by creating good energy in the world around us. Compassionately and lovingly participating in the life of our world and contributing to the wellbeing of all life is a vital part of energy hygiene.*
Healing from Fibromyalgia
Yes, it is possible to heal from fibromyalgia, CFS, Lyme, and autoimmune diseases. And you don’t need to know anything about the energy structure of fibromyalgia and the rest of them to be helpful to yourself or others with tapping. However, the language of balancing a person’s energy structure is a useful frame in which to hold the story and the healing process.
A spiritual perspective is important. Such a perspective means holding yourself in an honoring, generative, loving way is the taproot and the foundation of transforming yourself from a person who has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia or one of these other conditions into a sacred person.
Engage a deep sense of your birthright to be here, to be you, fully and completely. The opposite of low self-worth is not self-esteem. It is being fully yourself. It is: “I deeply and completely love and accept myself, no matter what.”
With EFT and other energy methods we can bring harmony to the energetic patterns of energetic imbalance that Western medicine calls fibromyalgia.
This approach asks us to work with the deepest level of identity. Not everyone is ready for this, but it is a truly worthy road to walk.
Note: For more about Rue Anne Hass and her work, visit www.IntuitiveMentoring.com. For more about tapping for fibromyalgia, click on Books-DVDs/EFT-and-fibromyalgia in the drop-down menu.
Oversight for this article was provided by Charles Chace, DiplAc, DiplCH (http://charleschace.com) and Clariel Hass, LAc.
A good resource for information on fibromyalgia from the perspective of traditional Chinese medicine is Curing Fibromyalgia Naturally with Chinese Medicine, by Bob Flaws. See also The Foundations of Chinese Medicine and The Psyche in Chinese Medicine, both by Giovanni Maciocia.
With appreciation for the ideas and inner awareness of David Spangler, www.lorian.org.
____________________
*Examples adapted from www.tcmpage.com/hpfibromyalgia.html.
*Reprinted with permission from David Spangler, Introducion to Incarnational Spirituality. Everett, WA: Lorian Press, 2011, p. 88.
5
The Healing Wave
One of my favorite concepts is that of the healing wave. We saw in some of the earlier examples, such as that of Sarah in chapter 1, that recovery from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and related conditions isn’t usually a straight-line path. Patients experience ups and downs in a wavelike pattern. Even though some patients, like Susan in chapter 1, might show dramatic improvement in a single session, the point of using EFT is to maintain you on a lifelong journey of stress release and healing. Here’s an example of a straight-line upward path, such as blowing air into a balloon until it is fully inflated, or the temperature of water heated at a constant rate until it boils:
The healing process is rarely this smooth. It usually occurs in undulating waves. We get a little better, then a little worse, then a little bit even better, then a little bit worse, then better still, then worse, and finally break through our upper limits to become much better. Researcher William Collinge calls this “the healing pattern.” The process looks like this:
The Healing Pattern
This process is very difficult for you if you’re suffering from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, or an autoimmune condition. You get a bit better, and this raises your hopes. You think you’re on a straight-line upward trend. You may become elated. Then you start getting worse. This apparent reverse makes you feel depressed. You were getting better, now your health has turned back down again. You now imagine you’re on a straight-line downward trend.
The Ups and Downs of the Healing Journey
In your reactions to the changes, the fault lies with your thinking and not with your body. If your conscious mind understands the concept of the healing wave, then you understand that every downturn doesn’t mean a straight line to doom, and each uptick doesn’t mean an inevitable path to immortality. You accept the little ups and downs as steps on the healing journey. The major upward turning point is on one of those waves, and it’s usually imperceptible to you at the time it happens. You simply have to stay with the process, riding the waves, mediating your disappointment with EFT, and believing in the possibility that one of those imperceptible shifts marks the turning point. The following story reprinted from EFT Universe, written by Salome Hancock, illustrates that healing wave.
Success Story: EFT on Search-and-Heal Missions
By Salome Hancock
I have had CFIDS (chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome) for twelve years, and it is a most confounding and disabling disease.
I came across EFT well over a year ago. I watched EFT videos and tapped along with them. I read all the newsletters. I took a Level I EFT weekend training course. I worked a couple of times with an EFT practitioner and went a number of times to an EFT healing circle. Now I work with EFT just about every day on myself and others.
At first, I used it on specific physical symptoms and experienced relief and help, which greatly encouraged me to continue. I have been absolutely amazed by how much EFT helps with the many CFIDS symptoms that continuously arise. I could list a pageful of physical symptoms that I cycle through. Time and again, EFT would diminish or neutralize symptoms such as nausea, pain, foggy brain, aches, crash from overexertion, reaction to being out in sun and wind, skin reactions, plus many more.
CFIDS is a complex and deep-seated condition. It was hard to budge this massive problem, which had settled in and taken over every aspect and level of my being (physical, mental, psychological, spiritual). At my worst, I stayed in bed and couldn’t tolerate light or activity, only accomplishing the most basic maintenance. Going out, seeing people, and being involved in activities were impossible when I was at my worst.
As I used EFT, experienced its help, and gained confidence in it, I started taking it deeper. I worked with visualization and metaphor, which seemed to get me closer to the roots of my illness. For example, when I work with EFT, I picture obstacles being removed and the energy flowing freely through my system. I “see” the energy moving around. I “send” it to damaged areas and ask it to do repair work. I send the healing forces on search missions to find broken parts—from the distant past and from the present—and I give the energies time to bring in whatever is needed for that site. I express confidence that problems found are being worked on.
I “installed” an optimum wellness computer program in the foundation of my being. Ever since, I bring whatever is needed on a particular day to “reboot” and make any corrections and connections necessary to help me improve function and well-being for that day. I went back with all the forces I could summon to painful things that had happened to me—sources of grief, rage, unfairness—and concentrated energies on repairing, on bringing all parts of my being into alignment to support my progress back to health.
I revisited times and events that caused me to give up in despair, and brought healing energy to whatever it was. I brought love, compassion, and forgiveness, for myself in not being able to cope, and for those who injured me.
I am not cured, but friends have noticed that I have increased ability to function, more sustained energy, and more discipline in how I approach my goals. I notice stretches of much-improved functioning. My brain is working better. I’ve turned around the atrophy that was creeping over me. I am exercising now. I had concluded with absolute conviction that exercise was out of the question for me ever again. I opened myself up to its possibility with perseverance and the help of EFT. I’m gaining strength now; I can see and feel it. I am pursuing painting as never before. I am in an exciting process of discovery now and feel hope that I can get better, and will keep getting better, and am thoroughly open to these possibilities.
Like Salome, you can use EFT to remove obstacles to your healing. Perhaps we should all take a tip from her and look at the exploration of the roots of our illness and of what is stopping us from getting well as “an exciting process of discovery.” When you’re on that downward slope in the healing spiral, it’s easy to lose sight of your progress.
One of the most common issues observed in patients with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue is a sense of hopelessness. They’ve felt bad for so long, they have little belief that they might get better. EFT Master Practitioner Maggie Adkins calls this the “Why Bother” syndrome. Why try something new when you’ve tried dozens of other remedies and none of them has been successful? Each new approach has raised your hopes, which have then been dashed when it proves as fleeting as the last. This leads to hopelessness, a state in which you don’t try new remedies because your track record of failure predisposes you to believe that the next possible approach is going to lead you on the same cycle of hope and despair as the previous approaches have yielded. In the following essay, Maggie talks about this problem, and ways to overcome it.
The “Why Bother” Syndrome
By Maggie Adkins, EFT Master Practitioner
One of the more subtle challenges that gets in the way of people using EFT is when they have already worked on issues and emotions “ad nauseam” (as one client says) with other therapies over the years, and yet these issues have not lessened or been released. Intellectually, we may know that EFT is different from other therapies, and still we listen to our minds saying, “Why bother? Nothing is going to change this.”
“Why Bother” stops many of us from the success we could have if we used EFT to release old issues, drop those cravings, and shift that negative belief. Because EFT is most effective when we are tapping on the correct issue, “Why Bother” can truly sabotage our EFT results.
The first problem is that we may not do EFT at all. The essence of “Why Bother” is that it isn’t going to make a difference anyway so why would we do EFT? “It’s just a waste of time,” the mind says. That’s not much motivation to do the work.
The second problem is that we may be tapping on what we think is the issue, but the real issue we have to clear first is “Why Bother.”
“Why Bother” usually takes the form of resistance to “one more therapy that’s supposed to help,” or uncovering that issue “one more time.” If you hear your mind saying, “I’m all right. I can cope,” that is also a form of “Why Bother.” To say you have to cope is to say that you have given up, that you don’t believe the problem can be released. I hear many clients say this as we go from a 10 to a 2 or 3 on the intensity meter. I ask them, “If we have gotten this down to a 2 or 3, why not see if we can just get rid of it? I don’t know if we can, but why not go for it?” It’s a good question.
Examples of “Why Bother” Thoughts
Here are some typical examples of what you might think if you have “Why Bother.” Are any of these voices in your head?
For attempting something that didn’t go well in the past: “Why would I want to try that again? Look what happened the other times! It was a disaster.”
For weight loss: “I’ve lost 300 pounds in my life—and gained back 310. If I drop weight, I’ll just gain it back and hate myself all over again—why bother?”
For relationship issues: “You want me in a loving relationship with a significant other? Risk loving again? I’d rather stay safe and just cope with my own little life. I refuse to open myself up again just to be hurt. No way am I going through that one again!”
For chronic fatigue, environmental illness, and other chronic conditions: “You don’t know how many people have said they could help me and none of them have. I’m not putting myself through that again. It’s just too disappointing.”
For business owners (EFT practitioners included, of course): “Look, I already sent out all those flyers and newsletters and everyone knows I’m in business. I’m not going through all that expense and heartache again when people don’t call. I’m probably just not good enough anyway.”
For posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD): “Yeah, right. Do you know how many people have said they can help these Vietnam memories over the last forty years? Well, I used to listen to them but no more. I am not going into that stuff again. It’s just too hard.”
If you have any of these voices in your mind, you probably have resistance to doing EFT—and yet, EFT can shift all that.
How Do I Heal This?
These negative voices in the mind take away motivation to actually do the EFT that can release the issue/pain/negative belief. They can also drain self-esteem: “I must be a failure because nothing has worked for me.”
My good friend and skilled EFT practitioner Mary Ann Michels makes the excellent suggestion that you first write down all the “Why Bother” thoughts you are conscious of thinking. I find that making a list can, indeed, help a great deal when working with this kind of issue. You can make an initial list and, as you tap on one or more of those thoughts, you may find that even more sabotaging thoughts come into your consciousness. Stop what you’re doing and write them down! This is one of the miracles of the EFT journey. It simply seems to take us where we are to go. I would keep paper and pen handy when doing this work. (And thank you, Mary Ann, for your valuable insights.)
If you do make a list, each time you begin an EFT session with yourself, ask yourself which thought is the most powerful right now. Doing EFT with the issue that is most intense can often provide the greatest healing.
Sample EFT Phrases for “Why Bother”
The goal is to acknowledge all the reasons you don’t want to do EFT and tap for those very thoughts, as much as possible in your own words. Here are just a few examples of how to use EFT for “Why Bother”:
Sample Setup Statement (say this three times while tapping on the Karate Chop Point or rubbing the Sore Spot on the chest): “Even though I have done everything I could think of to heal this before and it didn’t work, and now I don’t believe anything can heal this, I deeply and profoundly accept myself.”
Sample Reminder Phrase (say this while tapping through all the other EFT points): “Nothing can heal this. Why bother?”
You can say the Reminder Phrase at each point or you can alternate it with “Why bother?” If you alternate, it might be something like this:
Top of Head: Nothing can heal this.
Eyebrow: Why bother?
Side of Eye: Nothing can heal this.
Under Eye: Why bother?
Under Nose: Nothing can heal this.
Chin: Why bother?
Collarbone: Nothing can heal this.
Think about what we are doing when we tap on the side of the hand in EFT. In thought and action, in intention and in energy, we are saying to ourselves:
Even though I have this stressful problem that is upsetting me, I love and accept myself and how I feel anyway.
Even though I am having these stressful experiences, and am telling myself negative things about my self-worth, I understand and appreciate myself anyway, and I am doing the best I can.
There is hope! I value my Spirit. I love that I am making a home for my spirit in my heart.
Summary of Tapping for Fibromyalgia
to Bring Harmony to the Spirit
Begin with pain in the body.
Use imagination and metaphor.
Tap for painful experiences.
Tap for beliefs that were formed from painful experiences; understand the positive intention.
Reframe what happened in a way that nourishes you.
Tap for emotions that arise from the constricting beliefs.
Tap for self-blame, high expectations, and perfectionism.
Invite allowing, opening, grounding, and trusting.
Honor sensitivity: …and I honor myself for how hard this has been for me.
…and I deserve to take good care of myself.
Incorporate your sense of spirituality to build a sense of personal sovereignty:
This is Where I Stand: I am bringing harmony to my spirit.
Tapping Is “Energy Hygiene”
In his book Introduction to Incarnational Spirituality, philosopher and “practical mystic” David Spangler cites the three components of energy hygiene as flow, positivity, and connectedness. He explains:
Each of us is like a pool of energy. As long as energy is flowing in and out in a healthy way, this pool is alive, clear and clean; when this flow is obstructed by a buildup of “psychic lint,” then the pool can begin to stagnate.
Restoring and maintaining a healthy flow of energy is important. A good walk, physical activity, learning something new, doing something kind for someone else are all simple ways of restoring flow; there are also techniques for restoring this flow on a subtle energy level.
Being positive is more than just practicing positive thinking, though that can be helpful. Positivity is a condition of being radiant, open, giving, confident, and strong. It is an energy state as much as a psychological one.
There are many ways of developing and maintaining this state, but they are all enhanced by valuing and honoring yourself and standing in your uniqueness and sovereignty.
Connectedness opens us to a larger world beyond ourselves and enables us to participate in a greater wholeness. A pool stagnates when it is unconnected to living streams of water and ultimately to the ocean on the one hand, and the wellsprings deep within the earth on the other. So too we need to be connected to the vitality and life, the spirit and wellbeing of the world around us.
We create good energy conditions for ourselves not by isolating ourselves behind shields and barriers but by creating good energy in the world around us. Compassionately and lovingly participating in the life of our world and contributing to the wellbeing of all life is a vital part of energy hygiene.*
Healing from Fibromyalgia
Yes, it is possible to heal from fibromyalgia, CFS, Lyme, and autoimmune diseases. And you don’t need to know anything about the energy structure of fibromyalgia and the rest of them to be helpful to yourself or others with tapping. However, the language of balancing a person’s energy structure is a useful frame in which to hold the story and the healing process.
A spiritual perspective is important. Such a perspective means holding yourself in an honoring, generative, loving way is the taproot and the foundation of transforming yourself from a person who has been diagnosed with fibromyalgia or one of these other conditions into a sacred person.
Engage a deep sense of your birthright to be here, to be you, fully and completely. The opposite of low self-worth is not self-esteem. It is being fully yourself. It is: “I deeply and completely love and accept myself, no matter what.”
With EFT and other energy methods we can bring harmony to the energetic patterns of energetic imbalance that Western medicine calls fibromyalgia.
This approach asks us to work with the deepest level of identity. Not everyone is ready for this, but it is a truly worthy road to walk.
Note: For more about Rue Anne Hass and her work, visit www.IntuitiveMentoring.com. For more about tapping for fibromyalgia, click on Books-DVDs/EFT-and-fibromyalgia in the drop-down menu.
Oversight for this article was provided by Charles Chace, DiplAc, DiplCH (http://charleschace.com) and Clariel Hass, LAc.
A good resource for information on fibromyalgia from the perspective of traditional Chinese medicine is Curing Fibromyalgia Naturally with Chinese Medicine, by Bob Flaws. See also The Foundations of Chinese Medicine and The Psyche in Chinese Medicine, both by Giovanni Maciocia.
With appreciation for the ideas and inner awareness of David Spangler, www.lorian.org.
____________________
*Examples adapted from www.tcmpage.com/hpfibromyalgia.html.
*Reprinted with permission from David Spangler, Introducion to Incarnational Spirituality. Everett, WA: Lorian Press, 2011, p. 88.
5
The Healing Wave
One of my favorite concepts is that of the healing wave. We saw in some of the earlier examples, such as that of Sarah in chapter 1, that recovery from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and related conditions isn’t usually a straight-line path. Patients experience ups and downs in a wavelike pattern. Even though some patients, like Susan in chapter 1, might show dramatic improvement in a single session, the point of using EFT is to maintain you on a lifelong journey of stress release and healing. Here’s an example of a straight-line upward path, such as blowing air into a balloon until it is fully inflated, or the temperature of water heated at a constant rate until it boils:
The healing process is rarely this smooth. It usually occurs in undulating waves. We get a little better, then a little worse, then a little bit even better, then a little bit worse, then better still, then worse, and finally break through our upper limits to become much better. Researcher William Collinge calls this “the healing pattern.” The process looks like this:
The Healing Pattern
This process is very difficult for you if you’re suffering from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, or an autoimmune condition. You get a bit better, and this raises your hopes. You think you’re on a straight-line upward trend. You may become elated. Then you start getting worse. This apparent reverse makes you feel depressed. You were getting better, now your health has turned back down again. You now imagine you’re on a straight-line downward trend.
The Ups and Downs of the Healing Journey
In your reactions to the changes, the fault lies with your thinking and not with your body. If your conscious mind understands the concept of the healing wave, then you understand that every downturn doesn’t mean a straight line to doom, and each uptick doesn’t mean an inevitable path to immortality. You accept the little ups and downs as steps on the healing journey. The major upward turning point is on one of those waves, and it’s usually imperceptible to you at the time it happens. You simply have to stay with the process, riding the waves, mediating your disappointment with EFT, and believing in the possibility that one of those imperceptible shifts marks the turning point. The following story reprinted from EFT Universe, written by Salome Hancock, illustrates that healing wave.
Success Story: EFT on Search-and-Heal Missions
By Salome Hancock
I have had CFIDS (chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome) for twelve years, and it is a most confounding and disabling disease.
I came across EFT well over a year ago. I watched EFT videos and tapped along with them. I read all the newsletters. I took a Level I EFT weekend training course. I worked a couple of times with an EFT practitioner and went a number of times to an EFT healing circle. Now I work with EFT just about every day on myself and others.
At first, I used it on specific physical symptoms and experienced relief and help, which greatly encouraged me to continue. I have been absolutely amazed by how much EFT helps with the many CFIDS symptoms that continuously arise. I could list a pageful of physical symptoms that I cycle through. Time and again, EFT would diminish or neutralize symptoms such as nausea, pain, foggy brain, aches, crash from overexertion, reaction to being out in sun and wind, skin reactions, plus many more.
CFIDS is a complex and deep-seated condition. It was hard to budge this massive problem, which had settled in and taken over every aspect and level of my being (physical, mental, psychological, spiritual). At my worst, I stayed in bed and couldn’t tolerate light or activity, only accomplishing the most basic maintenance. Going out, seeing people, and being involved in activities were impossible when I was at my worst.
As I used EFT, experienced its help, and gained confidence in it, I started taking it deeper. I worked with visualization and metaphor, which seemed to get me closer to the roots of my illness. For example, when I work with EFT, I picture obstacles being removed and the energy flowing freely through my system. I “see” the energy moving around. I “send” it to damaged areas and ask it to do repair work. I send the healing forces on search missions to find broken parts—from the distant past and from the present—and I give the energies time to bring in whatever is needed for that site. I express confidence that problems found are being worked on.
I “installed” an optimum wellness computer program in the foundation of my being. Ever since, I bring whatever is needed on a particular day to “reboot” and make any corrections and connections necessary to help me improve function and well-being for that day. I went back with all the forces I could summon to painful things that had happened to me—sources of grief, rage, unfairness—and concentrated energies on repairing, on bringing all parts of my being into alignment to support my progress back to health.
I revisited times and events that caused me to give up in despair, and brought healing energy to whatever it was. I brought love, compassion, and forgiveness, for myself in not being able to cope, and for those who injured me.
I am not cured, but friends have noticed that I have increased ability to function, more sustained energy, and more discipline in how I approach my goals. I notice stretches of much-improved functioning. My brain is working better. I’ve turned around the atrophy that was creeping over me. I am exercising now. I had concluded with absolute conviction that exercise was out of the question for me ever again. I opened myself up to its possibility with perseverance and the help of EFT. I’m gaining strength now; I can see and feel it. I am pursuing painting as never before. I am in an exciting process of discovery now and feel hope that I can get better, and will keep getting better, and am thoroughly open to these possibilities.
Like Salome, you can use EFT to remove obstacles to your healing. Perhaps we should all take a tip from her and look at the exploration of the roots of our illness and of what is stopping us from getting well as “an exciting process of discovery.” When you’re on that downward slope in the healing spiral, it’s easy to lose sight of your progress.
One of the most common issues observed in patients with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue is a sense of hopelessness. They’ve felt bad for so long, they have little belief that they might get better. EFT Master Practitioner Maggie Adkins calls this the “Why Bother” syndrome. Why try something new when you’ve tried dozens of other remedies and none of them has been successful? Each new approach has raised your hopes, which have then been dashed when it proves as fleeting as the last. This leads to hopelessness, a state in which you don’t try new remedies because your track record of failure predisposes you to believe that the next possible approach is going to lead you on the same cycle of hope and despair as the previous approaches have yielded. In the following essay, Maggie talks about this problem, and ways to overcome it.
The “Why Bother” Syndrome
By Maggie Adkins, EFT Master Practitioner
One of the more subtle challenges that gets in the way of people using EFT is when they have already worked on issues and emotions “ad nauseam” (as one client says) with other therapies over the years, and yet these issues have not lessened or been released. Intellectually, we may know that EFT is different from other therapies, and still we listen to our minds saying, “Why bother? Nothing is going to change this.”
“Why Bother” stops many of us from the success we could have if we used EFT to release old issues, drop those cravings, and shift that negative belief. Because EFT is most effective when we are tapping on the correct issue, “Why Bother” can truly sabotage our EFT results.
The first problem is that we may not do EFT at all. The essence of “Why Bother” is that it isn’t going to make a difference anyway so why would we do EFT? “It’s just a waste of time,” the mind says. That’s not much motivation to do the work.
The second problem is that we may be tapping on what we think is the issue, but the real issue we have to clear first is “Why Bother.”
“Why Bother” usually takes the form of resistance to “one more therapy that’s supposed to help,” or uncovering that issue “one more time.” If you hear your mind saying, “I’m all right. I can cope,” that is also a form of “Why Bother.” To say you have to cope is to say that you have given up, that you don’t believe the problem can be released. I hear many clients say this as we go from a 10 to a 2 or 3 on the intensity meter. I ask them, “If we have gotten this down to a 2 or 3, why not see if we can just get rid of it? I don’t know if we can, but why not go for it?” It’s a good question.
Examples of “Why Bother” Thoughts
Here are some typical examples of what you might think if you have “Why Bother.” Are any of these voices in your head?
For attempting something that didn’t go well in the past: “Why would I want to try that again? Look what happened the other times! It was a disaster.”
For weight loss: “I’ve lost 300 pounds in my life—and gained back 310. If I drop weight, I’ll just gain it back and hate myself all over again—why bother?”
For relationship issues: “You want me in a loving relationship with a significant other? Risk loving again? I’d rather stay safe and just cope with my own little life. I refuse to open myself up again just to be hurt. No way am I going through that one again!”
For chronic fatigue, environmental illness, and other chronic conditions: “You don’t know how many people have said they could help me and none of them have. I’m not putting myself through that again. It’s just too disappointing.”
For business owners (EFT practitioners included, of course): “Look, I already sent out all those flyers and newsletters and everyone knows I’m in business. I’m not going through all that expense and heartache again when people don’t call. I’m probably just not good enough anyway.”
For posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD): “Yeah, right. Do you know how many people have said they can help these Vietnam memories over the last forty years? Well, I used to listen to them but no more. I am not going into that stuff again. It’s just too hard.”
If you have any of these voices in your mind, you probably have resistance to doing EFT—and yet, EFT can shift all that.
How Do I Heal This?
These negative voices in the mind take away motivation to actually do the EFT that can release the issue/pain/negative belief. They can also drain self-esteem: “I must be a failure because nothing has worked for me.”
My good friend and skilled EFT practitioner Mary Ann Michels makes the excellent suggestion that you first write down all the “Why Bother” thoughts you are conscious of thinking. I find that making a list can, indeed, help a great deal when working with this kind of issue. You can make an initial list and, as you tap on one or more of those thoughts, you may find that even more sabotaging thoughts come into your consciousness. Stop what you’re doing and write them down! This is one of the miracles of the EFT journey. It simply seems to take us where we are to go. I would keep paper and pen handy when doing this work. (And thank you, Mary Ann, for your valuable insights.)
If you do make a list, each time you begin an EFT session with yourself, ask yourself which thought is the most powerful right now. Doing EFT with the issue that is most intense can often provide the greatest healing.
Sample EFT Phrases for “Why Bother”
The goal is to acknowledge all the reasons you don’t want to do EFT and tap for those very thoughts, as much as possible in your own words. Here are just a few examples of how to use EFT for “Why Bother”:
Sample Setup Statement (say this three times while tapping on the Karate Chop Point or rubbing the Sore Spot on the chest): “Even though I have done everything I could think of to heal this before and it didn’t work, and now I don’t believe anything can heal this, I deeply and profoundly accept myself.”
Sample Reminder Phrase (say this while tapping through all the other EFT points): “Nothing can heal this. Why bother?”
You can say the Reminder Phrase at each point or you can alternate it with “Why bother?” If you alternate, it might be something like this:
Top of Head: Nothing can heal this.
Eyebrow: Why bother?
Side of Eye: Nothing can heal this.
Under Eye: Why bother?
Under Nose: Nothing can heal this.
Chin: Why bother?
Collarbone: Nothing can heal this.
