False Idols: A Dark College Romance, page 20
“I can’t breathe, Beau. I can’t. Help!” I can hear Nevaeh trying to suck in air, but it’s hard. Her breath comes in quick gasps and when she digs her heels into my back, I don’t know if it’s from panic or pleasure. If I wanted her to breathe, I would let her, but I don’t tell her that. She’s going to learn to trust me. I might bring her right to the brink, but I’m not going to kill her.
If I did that, I wouldn’t have her to torment anymore, now would I? I would haven’t Nevaeh to love if she was dead. I’ll never do that to her. No matter the scars and tears, the blood and the near calls, my fucking beautiful liar is mine and I’m going to make sure that she stays alive for every last bit of what I have in store for her.
I let the netting go and Nevaeh sobs as air fills her lungs. “That’s it. I know it hurts, angel. You’re doing so good for me,” I croon to her as I pepper her thighs with kisses and move back to suck her clit. I pump my fingers into her faster and bring a hand to her hip to urge her forward. I want her on my face. If I didn’t have her tied down with netting like I do, I would have her ride my face until she fell apart into a million pieces. It doesn’t take much to get Nevaeh’s hips moving the way I want and she starts to rock against me with desperate little moans.
“Beau,” Nevaeh keens and rolls her hips. “Beau, oh, please. Please, Beau! I need you.”
I lift my head long enough to look at her and Nevaeh cries out in frustration. She must have been close. I smile and press a kiss to her thigh. “What do you need, angel?” I ask, dragging my tongue across her flesh and back to her pussy. When I bury my face between her thighs and fuck Nevaeh with my tongue, she moans happily.
“Oh, yes! Yes, Beau!” I pinch her clit and she screams. My meaning is clear. I want her to tell me what she wants. “I need you inside of me. I need you to f-fuck me.”
Music to my fucking ears. Hearing Nevaeh telling me to go fuck myself is second only to hearing her ask me to fuck her. I rise from my knees and undo my belt without a second thought. The only thing I want is to give Nevaeh what she’s asking for. There’s no way I can deny her. I want to break her, but she’s mine to protect. Mine to violate and dirty. I pull my dick free and moan when I drag my dick over her pussy. Nevaeh whimpers and reaches for me but she’s held in place by the netting. Good. I don’t want her touching me. Nevaeh is mine to defile. I’m her destruction and now she’s begging me to ruin her. She’s going to know that loving me comes at a cost. That she’s never going to have happy ever after with me. But she’s not going to want it, either.
I grab her hips and bring her legs up to circle my waist. “Wrap your legs around me,” I snap at her. I give Nevaeh half a second to process my words before I slam forward and bury myself to the hilt in her wet pussy.
“Fuck,” I groan, and put a hand down on the table to keep myself steady while I start to fuck my girl. Nevaeh wraps her legs around me and pulls me deeper when I thrust forward. “That’s it, angel.”
“Beau!”
“Good girl, pull me in. Just like that,” I encourage her and grab her hips to hold her down when she tries to lift her hips to fuck me back. I don’t want her taking more than I’m ready to give. “I fuck you,” I tell her and press her hips down onto the table. “You get what I give. Do you understand me?”
“Y-yes, Beau.”
I fuck Nevaeh harder. The table shakes beneath us and it feels like it might break but I don’t give a shit. Nevaeh feels perfect. She feels like ecstasy. The table could break to fucking pieces and I wouldn’t stop fucking her.
“B-beau, I’m going to cum. Please, let me.”
I smile down at her. She’s learning. “Good girl. I’m proud of you for asking me,” I praise her and the transformation I see on Nevaeh’s face is instant. She looks blissed out, like she was just given her Holy Grail and my balls tighten when I realize it’s because I praised her.
“You’re doing so good for me, angel. You deserve a reward, don’t you?” I ask and Nevaeh’s walls flutter. I can feel them tightening around me. Oh, she’s fucking close. She’s about to lose her mind for me.
“Yes, please. Beau, please. Please, let me cum.”
I want to see her come unraveled for me. In her room it was too dark to see her the way I wanted. The storage room is dim but the lighting is better. Next time I have her on my dick, I’m going to do it in my home. I’m going to do it when I can take my time taking apart Nevaeh.
“Cum for me, Nevaeh. Cum for me now. Give it to me, angel. You earned this.”
Nevaeh’s eyes hit mine and I watch her eyes darken for a split second before her eyes roll into the back of her head and she screams my name.
“Beau!”
“Fuck!” I yell, watching Nevaeh. I can feel her as her body rides the orgasm I just let her have. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I-” I grimace when that comes out of my mouth and stop myself from saying anything else. I won’t think about what I was going to say, or the fact that I’m not ready to be saying shit like that to her, but I can’t take the words back now that I’ve said them.
“Beau,” Nevaeh whispers and I grab the netting I used on her and pull it tight to cut off her words. I focus on her body, refuse to think about the fact that I’ve called her beautiful, or that I was about to say so much more when I stopped myself. As much as I want to stay right where I fucking am, I can’t risk it. I speed up, fucking into Nevaeh harder and faster, until I’m cumming on her thighs with a strangled moan.
“Nevaeh.” It’s the only thing I let myself say when I cum, because I don’t trust myself with saying more.
Hating Nevaeh is too much like loving her and the more I touch her, the more I fuck her, and have her screaming for me, the harder it is for me to tell the difference between the two. Love. That’s not what she’s supposed to get from me. I’m a dumb fucking asshole thinking I was going to manage my revenge without ending up in deep shit, because I almost said those fucking three words to her— I love you.
20
NEVAEH
I just had sex with Beau again. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. I was so angry with him that I wasn’t thinking straight. I touch my neck. The area where he had the netting wrapped around me is tender. After we finished, Beau surprised me because he didn’t just leave right away. He helped me take the netting off and got me cleaned up again.
It was different this time.
I watched Beau as he went to the door and hesitated. We were both just standing there. I didn’t know if I should go out first or not, but I was also in a daze from what just happened.
“I’ll go out first. Wait here.”
I didn’t answer, just nodded. But that’s when Beau grabbed my face and forced me to look up at him. “I want to see you at the party tonight. Don’t do anything stupid, Nevaeh.”
I shoved his hand off me and glared up at him. “Don’t be an asshole, Beau.”
Beau laughed and moved into my space so fast that I jumped back out of instinct. My back hit the wall and he put a hand beside my head. “Angel, just because I like you mouthing off to me doesn’t mean you have free rein.” He trailed a finger through my hair and gave the lock in his fingers a quick tug. “Watch that tongue or I’ll cut it out. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I spit out at him and crossed my arms over my chest. “Can you please leave?”
Beau chuckled and stepped away from me. He smoothed his hands over his dress shirt and gave me a once over. He looked fine. He looked perfectly at ease and not like he just fucked me senseless in a storage room. I bet I looked like a mess.
“Trying to kick me out of bed, already. Ouch, Nevaeh. I’m hurt.”
“This isn’t exactly a bed, Beau,” I snapped and pointed around the room.
He looked around the room as if it were the first time he’d noticed and nodded. “No, it’s not. Next time.”
“Next time?”
He nodded and hefted his duffle bag higher on his shoulder. “Yes, next time,” he said and reached for the door. “You think I’m giving that fucking pussy up now that I broke it in?” he asked and laughed. “I don’t think so, angel. It’s too fucking good, Nevaeh. You’re mine.”
Exhilaration went through me. I shouldn’t like this. Why do I like this?
Because it’s Beau. I only like this because it’s Beau.
Beau left before I could say anything. That was fifteen minutes ago and my phone has buzzed twice in my pocket. I know one of them is Sunny, but I’m too guilty to look. I’ll look once I’m on the way back to her. I reach for the door and slip out of the room and hurry back to the bleachers. I hope she’s still there. I pass the locker room, it’s empty and quiet now. There are no friends and families waiting for the players that are filing out anymore. I reach for my phone when it starts to ring, because I’m sure it’s Sunny. That’s when a hand grabs my shoulder and slams me against the wall.
The air gets knocked out of me with how hard I hit the wall behind me. “Beau-” I start with a wheeze, but that’s when I hear an unfamiliar voice.
“Shut the fuck up, bitch.”
Fear shoots through me. It’s not Beau.
“Jordan?” I whisper. I try to back up from him but there’s nowhere to go, not with him blocking me in and the hard wall behind me. I look frantically up and down the hallway but it’s empty. “What do you want?”
Jordan smiles at me. It’s a bad smile. It’s not a smile that’s like Beau’s. Beau knows how to turn his on and off, but I don’t think Jordan can do that. The only smile that Jordan knows how to give is a mean one.
“What do I want? What I want,” he says and shoves my shoulder as he talks, “is for you to fucking disappear. That’s what I want, Nevaeh.”
“Leave me alone, Jordan.” I straighten up and try to shoulder past him, but I don’t get anywhere because Jordan punches me in the stomach. My knees give out and vomit rises high in my throat but I manage to keep it down while Jordan holds me up.
“Hey, hey, keep it together, Nevaeh. We’ve all gotten hit hard every now and then by life and you deserve it more than most.” He shoves me against the wall and I’m gasping like a fish out of water. “Now, what the fuck do you think you’re doing around here lately, hmm? Because it looks a whole fucking lot like you think you’re going to get to have a normal time at college and that’s just not fucking happening, you dumb bitch.” He takes a step back from me and gives me a once over. I can see his mind working. He wants to teach me a lesson. He’s going to hurt me, I just don’t know how yet.
“And if The Reaper isn’t going to be the one to fucking teach you a lesson, then I will.”
He’s just going to have a damned soliloquy about it before he does it. I never liked Jordan, not in youth group or in school. He always had to have the last word, but at least that’s buying the time I need to get away from him.
“You know they should have never let you into this school with the rest of us. Not with what you did, you fucking freak.” Jordan turns his back on me and that’s when I grab my still ringing phone.
“Nevaeh, where are you? Is everything-”
I hit the video call button for the call and point it at Jordan while he’s still talking. “You’re trash, Nevaeh. I’m going to make sure you regret ever setting foot on this campus. They’re going to think The Reaper did it. I’m going to kill you and nobody’s gonna stop me.”
“Hey, fuck you!” Sunny screams and I almost smile. I can’t talk, not with the way I’ve just got enough air in my lungs to not be leaning against the wall. I’m glad I don’t throw up while Sunny starts to scream at him.
“Where the fuck are you, Nevaeh?” Sunny yells.
“What the fuck?” Jordan looks surprised but it only lasts for a second before his face twists into anger. “Give me that phone you stupid cunt.”
“Nevaeh, get out of there!” Sunny screams and I do what she says. I bolt down the hallway and my side aches with every step I take. My lungs burn and my throat is on fire from where Beau used the netting on me. I don’t know how my day has gone so wrong. Today it all seemed so normal, but I knew this was coming.
I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep normal. I don’t deserve to keep normal. Jordan is right. They shouldn’t have let me in here with what I did, but they did. They did and I have nowhere to go, so I’m staying. I run hard, pump my arms as fast as they can go. I can hear Jordan screaming at me while Sunny begs me to tell her where I am but I can’t stop long enough to get the words out. I just keep running. I nearly sob with relief when I see the opening to the student section up ahead. I sprint up the slope that leads to the level I was just on and I’m going so fast that I can’t really stop and end up slamming into the railing at the top.
“Nevaeh!” Sunny yells and then she’s right there beside me. “Are you okay?” She wraps her arms around me and I burst into tears. I hold on to her and let her pull me away from the entryway that I expect Jordan to come barreling out of any second, but he never does. Another few seconds tick by and then a minute before I realize he’s not coming. He didn’t follow me.
“Who was that guy?” Sunny whispers to me when we break apart.
My hand is shaking and I lift my phone to see that I still have it on. I hit the end call button and shake my head. “He’s one of Beau’s friends.”
“What was he going to do to you? Was he the friend you were going to talk to?”
I shake my head. My legs feel like they’re about to give out, so I sit on the first bleacher seat I see. “No, I-that was someone else.”
“I thought he was going to kill you. What the fuck was that villain speech?”
“Are you okay?” I look up to see a girl I’ve never seen before looking at me with concern.
“I’m fine,” I tell her quickly and duck my head.
“Yeah, but-” A girl grabs her arm and pulls her back from Sunny and I. “Don’t talk to her. That’s Nevaeh.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, huh?” Sunny whirls around to face the girls but I stand quickly and take her hand.
“Let’s go,” I tell her.
“Yeah, but you heard that guy. He was going to hurt her!” The other girl argues with her friend, but I’m not sticking around to hear what her friend will tell her to explain why I’m not worth being worried over.
“People here are psychos,” Sunny tells me while we walk. We’re taking the long way out of the stadium. Anything not to go back down into the hallways that lead out to the parking lot. “Everyone heard what he was saying. They know you weren’t safe and no one was going to do anything to help you.”
“They’re just angry with me. For what I did.”
“You were just a kid, Nevaeh.”
“So was Beau.”
Sunny falls silent and I know she isn’t going to push it. I’m glad for it, but I don’t want to go to the party alone, so I force a smile onto my face. “Hey, you know where you want to eat?”
“We don’t have to go to the party,” she tells me with a worried look.
“Sure we do. I promised we would.” It’s true. I did promise, but Sunny thinks it’s to her and her alone.
She sucks in a deep breath and shakes her head again. “Let’s stay in the dorm. You can put on a scary movie or something.”
I wrinkle my nose at her suggestion. “A scary movie? Really?”
“Sure, one of those slashers where the dumb kids don’t just run out of the house and keep running up the stairs.”
“Those are the movies with the rules, right?” I laugh and look up at the sky. It’s dark now that we’re in the parking lot. We didn’t drive because we’re so close to the stadium in our dorms, so we walk past it and keep heading towards our dorms. There’s people here, they’re laughing and running by on their way to parties. The energy is back again. I can feel the excitement over the win bubbling up and it feels nice after my run in with Jordan. I rub my stomach where he punched me and bite my lip. How is that when I think of tonight, Jordan is what makes it bad for me?
Not Beau. When I think of being with Beau again, I don’t know what I’m feeling. But I want it to happen again.
“Duh. There’s always rules to survive a horror movie. Everyone knows this.” Sunny looks around us and tugs me closer to her. “Sometimes I feel like we’re in a scary movie, Nev.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, because I know I should. I know what she means. The Reaper is back. I’m being terrorized at school. I just ran from Jordan because I was sure he was about to hurt me and Beau…every dark and twisted encounter with Beau leaves me feeling more confused about who I am. And on top of that, I’m taking eighteen credit hours.
Sunny’s right. Life does feel like a scary movie right now.
“I mean, all of this.” Sunny sweeps a hand out to the street and people around us. She gets a funny look from someone walking past but ignores them as we walk. “There’s a literal killer on the loose and a girl was murdered on the first day of classes. Don’t you think that’s pretty fucking scary movie-ish?”
I tuck my hands in my jeans and shrug. “A little…” I hedge. I don’t want to think too hard on the reasons she’s right. The girls in those movies are brave and smart. They aren’t girls like me that mess up over and over again. I’m not the kind of girl that makes it to the end. Or at least, I wasn’t until Beau came back.
“A little? It’s literally the script for a horror movie because of how everyone is being with you, too. You know, maybe it isn’t a bad idea if we stay in and watch some scary movies. Get some tips on how to survive all this shit, you know?”
I smile. Sunny would think a slasher movie marathon would be the answer to keeping us safe. “I thought the rules were just like, don’t say you’ll be right back and stay out of the basement. Seems pretty straight forward.”
“You forgot no sex or drugs and definitely no splitting up.”
