Everything We Are, page 4
(heart) Thea
I don’t know what catches me off guard more, the fact she thought of me at dinner time or the heart she left next to her name. I shouldn’t care if my new roommate expects me home for dinner, but suddenly I do.
And I shouldn’t really care about the heart, but seeing it next to her name warms me in ways it shouldn’t.
Five
Thea
For the fourth time in a row, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night. I’ve been all over the place this week, what with starting my classes a couple of days ago and moving to a new house and meeting new people, and the excitement and adrenaline has caught up with me. While I thought I’d be exhausted and would fall into a deep slumber as soon as my head hit the pillow, my mind has been running overtime in the quiet of the night. The only way I’d be able to get some sleep when I was younger was to drink some hot milk with honey, so I decide to try the old trick now in hopes it will work. The last thing I want to do is turn up to class tomorrow dead on my feet.
I quietly creep down the stairs, trying not to wake my housemates. These guys need all the sleep they can get given their hectic schedules. Since school started, they’ve been up at the crack of dawn almost every day for pre-season weight training. I should be used to it since Jude has been playing hockey for years, but NU hockey is a whole other level. I can’t even maintain a gym membership for longer than two weeks, so I admire their dedication.
As I reach the ground floor, a faint glow of light emits from the kitchen. I’m not surprised when I walk in and see a dark figure sitting at the breakfast bar. Dressed in black jeans, a black long-sleeved shirt rolled up at the sleeves, and a black cap on his head, I’d be worried this was an intruder if he wasn’t currently diving into a familiar plate of food.
“Hi,” I say to him, making my presence known. Kyler startles suddenly before swallowing his mouthful of food and slowly looking up at me.
“Do you always make a habit of creeping up on people?” he asks, his voice a deep, husky tone which resonates through me.
“I do when I think they’re a figment of my imagination,” I tell him, hoping he’ll pick up on my playful snark. I may as well call him out on his notable absences while I have the chance. Kyler takes another mouthful of the chicken casserole I made earlier. As usual, he wasn’t at home when the rest of us ate dinner, and as usual, I plated a portion for him and left it on his shelf in the fridge. Given the fact there is always an empty plate in the dishwasher the following morning, I know he eats whatever I leave. It helps to ease the unfamiliar burn of disappointment I have at him seemingly not making the effort to be more present. No one wants to share a house with someone who gives the impression they don’t want you there, regardless of what the others tell me.
Either he doesn’t hear what I say, or he chooses to ignore my comment, because he doesn’t grace me with a response other than a small smirk. Having a conversation with this guy is like getting blood out of a stone and once more I find myself wondering what his story is. I reach up to get a mug from the cupboard before trying again but he beats me to it.
“Trouble sleeping?” he asks, indicating to the mug in my hand.
“It’s been a hectic week. My mind can’t switch off.”
“I hear a good cup of hot chocolate can help solve insomnia,” he tells me and if I’m not mistaken, I detect a hint of a smile in his voice.
“Good to know, but this girl likes to eat healthy, so I’ll stick to warm milk and honey for now.”
Kyler doesn’t respond and I wonder if this is a breakthrough in this weird strangers-in-the-night relationship we seem to have, or whether it’s just another one-off conversation lasting more than five minutes. Either way, he doesn’t make an effort to continue, and leaves me to make my drink and to try and get something more out of him.
“I’m glad you eat what I leave for you. I mean, I assume you don’t go without food, but it’s still a relief to know you’re getting at least one meal a day.” And now, I’m blabbering for the sake of filling the awkward silence.
“It’s really nice of you Thea, and don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, but you don’t have to cook for me every day.”
“It’s no trouble,” I tell him, “I’m cooking for the others, so I might as well make a bit extra for you.”
“No, please,” Kyler continues, and the tone of his voice has me turning around to face him. His meadow-green eyes meet mine, and for the first time, I notice the exhaustion in his demeanor. Gray circles under his eyes, eyebrows drawn together, his body slumped as he rests his arms on the counter—he looks as if he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“I can’t . . . I don’t contribute to the grocery bill, so it’s not fair to include me in meals.”
“Surely you contribute in other ways?” I ask, curious as to how on earth Jude, Devon and Nolan agreed to become roommates with this guy.
Kyler shrugs and takes a gulp from the glass of water sitting next to his plate. “We have an arrangement,” is all he says by way of explanation.
“Well, maybe we should come to our own arrangement,” I counter, hoping he’ll take the bait.
Kyler stands and takes his now-empty plate to the sink, rinsing it under the faucet before placing it and his glass in the dishwasher. Closing it, he leans against the counter and crosses his arms, and my eyes are instantly drawn to his defined muscles straining against his shirt.
“What kind of arrangement?” he asks, and I feel slightly triumphant because his curiosity seems to be piqued.
“I continue making you a plate of food,” I say slowly, giving myself time to come up with something that will work for him. “And . . . you pay me back in kind with this ‘good cup of hot chocolate’ you’ve told me about.”
Kyler laughs and the change in him is startlingly obvious. A brooding Kyler is one thing, but a laughing one is a sight to behold. His body relaxes, the stiffness in his shoulders falling away. His face transforms into a stress-free version of the one who has been constantly scowling during the few times I’ve seen him, and he looks like a younger, more relaxed version of himself. I immediately make it my mission to try and make him laugh more often.
“What happened to being the girl who ‘likes to eat healthy’?” he asks, using air quotes with his fingers as he repeats my own words back to me.
I take a leaf out of his book and shrug my shoulders as I reply. “Maybe she likes to live life on the edge every once in a while.”
Kyler laughs once more before he walks toward the hallway, pausing before he leaves the room. “Oh hey, Thea? You should be careful about some of the guys on the hockey team. They’re not all as nice as Jude, Devon, and Nolan.”
“Okay?” I answer, but it comes out more as a question, given I’m not sure where this conversation is heading. It also doesn’t escape my notice he left his own name out of his statement.
“All I’m saying is, make sure you have your roommates’ numbers saved in your phone.”
“Well, I already have Devon and Nolan’s, so I guess I just need yours . . .” My reply leaves me wondering how he’ll handle the fact I’ve effectively asked for his number.
Kyler reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his phone, tapping on the screen before continuing. “Here,” he says, holding his phone out to me. “Send yourself a text and then you’ll have mine.”
I reach for his phone, do as he suggests, and send myself a text simply saying “Kyler’s number” before handing it back to him. He takes it and puts it back in the pocket, then wishes me a goodnight and leaves the room, walking upstairs quickly.
“And now you have my number,” I say quietly to myself, wondering if this is the progress I need in cracking the tough skin of my fourth roommate.
The weekend comes along quickly and before I know it, it’s Friday afternoon and myself and Millie are in my room getting ready. The guys have decided to throw a party at the house tonight in honor of me moving in, and to celebrate completing our first week at NU. Instead of providing food, we’re ordering takeout from one of the pizza places on the Boardwalk. Millie managed to get us a discount because she knows one of the guys who works there. I’m excited not only for the party, but also because Adam is currently on his way to Northport and is staying for the weekend. I know it’s only been just under two weeks since I’ve seen him, but I’ve missed him terribly.
“So, you and Adam, I need some deets,” Millie says as she finishes off her makeup and lies on my bed. Honestly, she’s a pro at getting ready in record time, while I’m still here sitting in front of my mirror, trying to do a perfect cat eye. I give her the CliffsNotes version, because honestly, there’s nothing out of the ordinary to tell her about our relationship.
“We went to the same school, started dating at fifteen, he was a quarterback, I was a cheerleader. We were prom king and queen, and he’s the love of my life, what’s more to tell?”
“Sounds very PG-rated, High School Musical.” Millie laughs. “I mean, no scandal at all?”
I pause for a beat, because the scandal that bypassed our relationship is not my story to tell. “Nope, nothing. Sorry to disappoint.”
“Huh,” is all I get in response.
“What about you?” I ask her. “Anyone on the scene who’s taken your interest? Nolan seems to like you.”
“Ew, please. Me and hockey players are not a good match.”
“Sure, Mills, whatever you say,” I tease her. I’ve seen her shoot Nolan the odd look here and there and I can tell it’s reciprocated. I’m guessing it won’t be long before those two get a little closer. Maybe I should play matchmaker for them.
“Who is saying what now?” Adam’s voice comes from the other side of the door before he knocks and opens it. “Everyone decent?” he asks before stepping in.
I squeal a little before rushing over and jumping into his arms. Like the good quarterback he is, he doesn’t miss a beat and catches me easily, and I start to pepper his face with kisses.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I say as he kisses me back.
“I’ve missed you too.”
“Ahem.” Millie makes a noise while still lying on my bed. “Not sure if you’re the type who likes an audience but I’m still here. I’m Millie by the way.” She stands up and holds a hand out to Adam, who takes it and shakes it firmly.
“I’m Adam. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“As I have about you. And far be it from me to ruin this little reunion, so I’m going downstairs to check on what the others are doing. Nice to meet you, Adam.”
Millie leaves the room leaving the two of us alone. After catching up properly I tell Adam about my week and how my classes have been going. He listens intently and updates me on how things are going with his internship. Evidently, it’s harder than he thought it would be, and thinks it’s because his dad is working him more than the other interns, given he’s going to inherit the business someday.
“He’s put me on a team working on a brand new project,” Adam tells me. “And it’s great, you know, because of the experience. But, man, I can’t help but feel the other guys think I’m getting preferential treatment because I’m Carl Nelson’s son. But this project, it’s huge. And it’s going to be successful, bringing a host of new jobs for those who need them, especially as it’s in a non-affluent part of town. It’ll be good for the exposure of the area, and I can’t lie, I’m proud to be a part of it.”
“Adam, this is amazing,” I tell him. “Especially since it sounds like this project will make a real difference.”
“Yeah, it will, but it does mean my time here is short this weekend. I’ll need to head back tomorrow night instead of Sunday. Dad needs to shuffle some things around because my brother wants to meet us on Monday.”
I sigh quietly. I can’t say I’m not disappointed. I was hoping to spend as much time as possible with Adam. Alas, it’s not the first time plans have been ruined by his wayward older brother.
“Is everything okay with him?” I ask, mainly because any trouble Austin causes can have an effect on the rest of the family, and that’s the last thing anyone wants.
“He has a parole hearing coming up in a few months and I guess he wants to see Dad beforehand. I don’t know. I’ve gone past the stage of asking questions or caring.”
Unlike Adam, Austin is far from the golden boy of the family. Currently serving time behind bars for getting mixed up in some kind of messy drug-dealing business, he’s hardly ever mentioned or talked about in the Nelson household. It’s as if he no longer exists. Adam’s mother, for sure, feels the consequences of her oldest son’s felonies the most. I feel for him a little, but then I guess if you get mixed up in things and break the law, you have to deal with the repercussions.
“I’m sorry, Adam,” I tell him. “I know you hate your brother for what he put your family through.”
Adam shrugs as he stands up, pulling me up with him. “It is what it is, Thea, and it’s not gonna ruin our night. Let’s go mingle with the others.” He gives me a quick kiss on the lips and leads me out of my room, effectively closing the subject.
We make our way downstairs where the house is quickly filling up with members of the hockey team and some of our other classmates. I quickly introduce Adam to Devon and leave them chatting while I go into the kitchen to get us a couple of drinks. In the corner, I spot Millie talking to Nolan and it confirms my thoughts that they’d make a great couple; they look so good together. I give them a quick wave before grabbing two Solo cups and fill one up with beer for Adam and the other with the fruit punch Millie made earlier for myself.
“So, you don’t drink hot chocolate, but sweet and sickly fruit punch is okay?” a deep voice says behind me.
I turn around to see Kyler standing in the kitchen looking at me with a hint of amusement on his face. I’m momentarily shocked, because this is Kyler, the same roommate who doesn’t socialize, like ever, is scarce at breakfast and is never around during dinner. Yet here he is, on a Friday night, attending a party at the house.
“Hey, I may eat healthy, but I’m not a saint!” I reply once I’ve regained my composure. “I’m surprised to see you here.”
Kyler raises one shoulder in a lazy shrug. “I may be a loner, but I don’t lack all social skills,” he says, mimicking the style of my response. “Besides, Jude said this party was your housewarming, so here I am, welcoming you to the house.”
“Well, I appreciate it. Maybe you could even push the boat out and join us for dinner one day this week?”
“Don’t push your luck.” He smiles and reaches around me to grab one of the bottles of water on the counter behind me.
“Hey babe, what’s taking you so long?” Adam says behind me as he loops his arms around my waist and pulls me toward him. I look at Kyler and immediately see his guard is back up as tension rolls off his body. His shoulders are hunched tautly, and one hand is fisted by his side, while the other holds the bottle of water tightly.
“Oh hey,” Adam continues. “I’m Adam, and you are . . .?”
Kyler doesn’t offer an introduction, so I step in, trying to dispel the awkward tension steadily arising. “This is Kyler, my fourth roommate. Kyler’s also on the team with Jude and the others. Kyler, this is Adam, my boyfriend from back home.”
As soon as I mention the word boyfriend, Kyler’s jaw starts ticking and I immediately know I’ve lost the glimpse of the playful, social Kyler who was just starting to appear from his cocoon. He nods once in Adam’s direction before replying.
“Good to meet you. Excuse me, I’ve gotta go make a call.” He turns around abruptly and almost marches out of the kitchen toward the stairs, running up them two at a time.
“Nice guy,” Adam says sarcastically, and I don’t blame him. Kyler’s given him nothing but standoffish vibes, even though I know there’s a different, more caring side to him under the layer of attitude he’s suddenly developed.
“He’s got a lot going on,” I say, already making excuses for his behavior.
“Not an excuse to be rude. He looks familiar; have I met him before?”
“I don’t think so. I mean, he’s on the team, so you’ve likely seen him when we watched one of Jude’s matches last year?” I reply. I know for certain, until I moved here, I’d never been introduced to Kyler before. I would have remembered a brooding, scowling face, and an unpredictable, monosyllabic personality like his for sure.
“Huh. There’s something weirdly familiar about him I can’t place.”
“I think you’re getting mixed up with all those brooding lead characters you like to watch on Netflix, babe.” I tease him, because we both know it was me who used to watch all the teen dramas and Adam would quietly put up with them, while secretly following the storylines.
“Maybe. Come on, let’s go find your brother. I hear there’s a beer pong table set up outside and I need to win back my title from him.”
Adam takes my hand and walks toward the back door, pulling me gently behind him. I turn around to grab my drink and notice a dark shadow lurking in the corner leaning against the wall, hands stuffed in his pockets, and a scowl etched deeply on his face. Kyler has his walls back up and I know it’ll take a lot more for me to start breaking them down again.
Six
Kyler
When Jude told me about the party for Thea, I thought he was out of his mind. Who needs a party welcoming them to college? It’s college for fuck’s sake—there are parties every weekend, and most of them are themed just for freshman and transfers. I digress though, it’s an excuse to hang out with her, even though I should steer clear of her. I pick up my phone and open my photos. Like a stalker, I stole one of the pictures Jude has posted on his social media, cropped him out, and added it to her contact page on my phone. I’m ashamed to admit, it’s a picture from over the summer when he went home for a couple of weeks, and they were at the beach. A very beautiful, tanned, bikini-wearing Thea stares at me—well the camera—but sometimes a guy has to pretend to boost his ego. I clear the photo away, open my texting app, and type her name in. My thumb hovers over the keyboard while my mind races for what to say. I want to tell her I think she’s pretty, and I’m happy she’s living here. I want to remind her to watch out for dirtbag guys, like myself, and to always be aware of her surroundings. All things I should’ve said to my sister when she started coming home late at night. Most of all, I want to tell Thea how much it means to me that she leaves me dinner. I know my mom and sister care about me, but not the way Thea seems to.
