Everything We Are, page 17
It takes very little time to walk from Saul’s place to ours, and my heart thumps out of my chest as Ky unlocks the door and opens it, letting me walk in first. I stand in the pitch-black hallway, my senses on high alert as the door shuts with a soft click. I know he won’t lock it because the others are still at the party, but neither of us moves to one of the rooms. Instead, we stand there, our breathing labored. A few seconds feel like a lifetime in this small, enclosed space. I’m about to say something to break the spell we both seem to be in when I feel him move closer. His hand settles on my waist and the other on my neck as he walks me backward until I feel the wall behind me. There are no words exchanged and no acknowledgment given until I feel his lips press against mine. They’re tentative for only a second until urgency takes over.
Kyler's mouth brushes against mine before his tongue seeks entry, and I readily give it to him. I’ve thought about this moment for a long time, wondering if it would be a replay of our first kiss. Whereas one was an assault, a fight for dominance, this one is not. It’s an outpouring of unsaid feelings. It’s him telling me he wants this as much as I do. It’s him marking himself on me with a combination of tenderness and rawness. There’s a possessiveness in the way he takes control of my mouth, how he presses me against the wall, his body leaning into mine. There’s a sound of desperate need in the way he groans into my mouth, awakening every nerve in my body.
Kyler rips his mouth away from mine suddenly, the need for air taking over and our chests heave together. The reprieve doesn’t last for more than a few seconds before Ky moves in again, this time my neck getting his full attention as he nips and kisses his way down to my shoulder, moving the strap of my top to one side. I bring my hands up and bury them in his hair, hoping to take back some control as I guide him back to my mouth. This time, I attack him with kisses and wanton desire, and I push against him and away from the wall. Our kiss turns into a war for dominance and control. As if tiring from the push and pull, Kyler picks me up with ease, and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist. The new position shifts the focus to me as I lock onto his body.
Without hesitation, Ky turns around and walks toward the steps. How he manages it in the dark, with his focus solely on me, is impressive. But, he knows his limits, and instead of attempting the climb up to his room, he sets me down on the stairs, and I lie back as he takes a few minutes to catch his breath. In doing so, his eyes rove all over my body. I follow their slow descent from my eyes to my lips, my neck to my chest. He takes his time—time we likely don’t have given the others will be back soon—but I don’t hurry him. Instead, I savor the attention he lavishes on me as if he’s committing every inch to memory. Finally, he brings his eyes back to mine, and they are a black pool of desire; just a sliver of the meadow-green I love so much visible. I see the resolve in them just before he leans in again and takes my mouth with his.
We kiss and kiss as we lose track of time. Ky moves down my neck again, only this time he moves the strap of my top, so it falls off my shoulder. It doesn’t give him the access I need, so I sit up and remove it altogether, leaving me only in my lilac bra. Earlier, I dressed with purpose and give a silent thanks I had the foresight to pick a bra with a front opening. Ky nudges me, so I’m lying back down on the stairs and moves his mouth until he’s sucking my breast through the lace. He bites and teases me, and I arch my back instinctively to give him more access. He rewards me by moving to the other one and pays the same lavish attention to it, all while I’m losing my mind at every touch he makes.
Returning the attention, I move my hand down his body, reaching for the prominent bulge in his pants. He bucks suddenly as my hand makes contact over the thick material of his jeans.
“Fuck, Thea,” he hisses as he buries his head into my neck as he tries to gain control but loses the battle when I start stroking him with purpose.
Our bodies continue to move against each other as we each try to gain the friction we need for release. Ky moves his hand toward the clasp of my bra and with a quick flick of his fingers, snaps it open. He nudges the material aside, freeing my breasts from the lace. He takes no time giving them his undivided attention, sucking, blowing, and gently biting the peaks that have formed. This time, I’m the one moaning into his neck as the ache between my legs builds up to the familiar unbearable-yet-pleasurable climax.
Loud voices outside the front door brings us back to the present with an unwelcome bump, and Kyler quickly stops his ministrations, grabbing my top in doing so and handing it to me as I awkwardly fumble to put it on and protect my dignity. I thank God we had the foresight to leave the lights off. Otherwise, whoever is about to walk through the door would be greeted by an unexpected sight. The front door opens, and Kyler moves to the bottom of the steps, and I instantly miss the warmth of his body on mine. I slowly move up the stairs and out of sight from the others. Whether they pay attention or not, I’m sure it’ll be obvious Ky and I were not talking about the weather while we were by ourselves. Our swollen lips are a testament to that.
Laughter comes through the door before the drunken bodies of our roommates appear.
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Nolan attempts to whisper but it comes out as a loud whoosh. “Don’t wanna wake KyKy.” Devon and Jude break into hysterical laughter at this, and I know Kyler will have his hands full dealing with them. I think about going down the stairs to help him, but I’m in no state to do so. Drunk or not, they’ll notice I’ve not exactly been in bed reading, and I’m too worked up to be of any use.
“I’m awake, Nole.” I hear Ky tell him with a laugh. “Holy shit, how many have you had?”
“Waaaaaayyy toooooo maaaannnyyyyyy,” Jude drawls, which brings more laughter from the others.
“Okay, let’s get you some water,” Kyler tells them.
“You’re so good to us, Sandman. Saaaandmannnnn!”
As my inebriated roommates start chanting Kyler’s nickname, I decide not to hang around any longer. Instead, I make my way to Ky’s room, where I sit and wait for him.
After what feels like a lifetime later, Kyler opens the door and quietly walks in.
“That took longer than I thought,” he says as he sits on the edge of the bed. I crawl over and kneel behind him. Leaning down, I kiss the back of his neck, hoping we can pick up from where we were interrupted. It’s not as if the other three are sober enough to realize what’s going on behind closed doors. Ky drops his head forward, and I continue kissing his neck and shoulders over his shirt. Needing more access, I drop my hands to the hem and tug the material upwards, hoping he’ll take the hint, but instead, Ky’s body tenses, and his hands settle on mine, preventing them from moving any further.
“Thea, wait.”
A cold, harsh wave of rejection hits me head on, and the feeling is like a million pinpricks attacking my skin, forcing me to sit back. Embarrassment follows, and I quickly scramble off the bed, my hands folded across my body as I try and make my escape.
“Sorry, I thought . . .” I mumble, not really knowing what to say, “I guess I was wrong.”
Kyler's arm reaches out as I walk past, and he grabs my arm gently, halting me in my tracks.
“Don’t go, please just let me explain?”
Sighing in defeat, I turn and face him, keeping my distance as I do so.
“Believe me. I want to. I’ve wanted you for so long. And tonight, it would have been so easy to take you on the stairs. But you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship, and I . . .” Pausing, he takes a deep breath and inhales before continuing. “I don’t want to be something you regret, Thea.”
“You won’t be.” I quickly reassure him, needing him to know that’s the last thing I would think.
“You say this now but think about it. This can’t be a rebound, not for me.”
“Kyler, it’s not for me either. I told you earlier, my relationship with Adam was over long before either of us cared to admit. I’m ready to move on.”
“Are you, though? This thing between us is the real deal for me. I like you. More than I should, given you’re my best friend’s sister. Hell, if I’m being honest, I’ve ‘more than liked you’ ever since you patched me up that night. But I also need to protect myself. You gotta understand, I don’t have a female figure in my life who really cares about me. My mom? All she wants from me is money. My sister? To her, I’m an on-call babysitter or someone to hook her up with my hockey buddies. And sure, I have a five-year-old niece who has me wrapped around her little finger. But then I met you and . . .” Kyler pauses, “Thea, you have the power to destroy me.”
Kyler’s words break my heart.
I know he and his mom don’t have the best relationship, but I didn’t realize just how much it hurt him that she pretty much only wants his money. And he does everything he can to make sure she has a place to live. Regardless of her feelings toward him, she’s his mother. He’ll always have a duty to look after her. I walk over to where he’s sitting on the bed and sit next to him, taking his hand in mine to give him the reassurance he needs.
“I won’t hurt you, Kyler, I promise. But I get it. Just know I like you too—a lot. So, when you’re ready, I’ll be here. We’ll take things at your pace. I’m not going anywhere.”
We sit side by side for what feels like hours, holding each other’s hand like a lifeline. Eventually, Ky leads me back up the bed, and we lie down on our sides, facing each other.
“Guess I killed the mood, huh?” he whispers, as his fingers lightly trace a line down the side of my face. I shrug with a smile.
“The night’s not over yet.”
“No, it’s not.”
Kyler leans in and places a gentle kiss on my lips. The sense of urgency from earlier may have gone, but a tenderness has replaced it. And with it comes a promise that whatever happens over the next few days or weeks, we’ll do everything we can to protect each other from whatever battles we may face.
Twenty-Two
Kyler
Every morning when my alarm sounds, I drag my ass out of bed, wishing I had gone to sleep earlier the night before. It’s an endless battle. Each day, I say I’m going to be in bed by eight or nine, but it ends up being midnight or one in the morning before I finally crawl into it. This is no fault of my own. I blame Thea.
It’s been a few weeks since our talk on New Year’s Eve when I told her my fears about being a rebound for her and we agreed to take things slowly. At first, it worked apart from the odd lingering glance and brush against each other in the kitchen. But I’m no saint, and soon my resolve slipped. The slightest touch turned into stolen kisses and frenzied making-out sessions, and I can’t get enough of her.
Since Thea and I are in this limbo stage of dating but not having sex and still keeping our relationship on the down-low, it’s not like we can cuddle on the couch or lock ourselves away in a bedroom without Jude or the others getting suspicious. So, Thea, being Thea, devised a plan requiring me to study, and if I’m a good boy and her brother isn’t home, she slowly tortures me by wearing the tiniest T-shirts and short shorts ever made. And sometimes, when I’m more focused on her, she makes sure to wear the tightest shirt she has and forgets to put a bra on. I swear, the sight of her taut nipples makes my mouth water, and she knows it.
This morning is no different, except a beautiful angel is sleeping next to me. I roll onto my side and move her hair away from her face and watch her sleep. The reason she’s in my bed is because her brother spent the night somewhere else. When he texted her and told her he wasn’t coming home, it was like a thundering herd moving down the stairs with how fast she came down them. Even though I suspected she was coming to my room, I still jumped when she burst through my door. She straddled me, wearing those flimsy pajamas of hers, and told me the good news. Well, partially good news. Devon and Nolan were home, and as much as I wanted to bury myself deep inside of her, we weren’t going to have sex for the first time with the guys in the other room. They would, indeed, say something in the morning, and I don’t want them to know just yet, and I don’t want Thea embarrassed.
I have about thirty minutes to get my ass to the rink for practice, but going outside in the cold, to a freezing facility where I have to sweat and be even colder when I leave, is far from appealing because I’d rather stay snuggled up next to Thea. She stirs, and her lips purse. I take advantage and kiss them. Thea is responsive to me. Anytime I touch her, she gravitates to wherever I’m showing her attention. Our kiss deepens, and she moans. She’s killing my resolve. Every day it gets harder and harder to say no to her.
Thea moves closer and puts her leg over my hip. My cock jumps at the chance to be near her core. I’m fucking hard and ready, and she’s willing. She grinds against me as we continue to make out. My hand finds a home on her ass, and my fingers dig into her flesh, moving her back and forth against me. Dry humping sucks, but it’s better than nothing. I move us slightly, putting her back onto her side. I do this in an attempt to keep the bed from rocking back and forth. Only Thea has other ideas and slips her hand into my boxers and grips my shaft.
I gasp and mutter, “Fuck,” as she starts to stroke my cock. “Jesus Christ, I’m going to hell,” I say, only to hear a laugh from her. She pulls her mouth away from mine, and I close my eyes. I know what’s coming. She’s a sneaky little minx and is determined to get us into trouble. “I really need to talk with Jude.”
“Stop thinking about my brother,” she says as she licks the head of my cock. “I’m about to give you a blow job, and you’re thinking about my brother. You’re going to give me a complex.”
“Sorry, please feel free to continue.”
“Gladly.” Thea makes good on her promise and takes care of my morning wood. As much as I want to return the favor, I can’t. I have to be at practice, and I can’t be late. When Thea has finished, she sits back and smiles. She’s mighty proud of herself. The first time she sucked me off, she gagged and told me my dick was too big. I told her she’d thank me later. She then made it her mission to be able to give me head without choking. She’s succeeded.
“I really want to taste you right now, but I don’t have time,” I tell her as I sit up.
“Why don’t we just fuck and get it over with.”
I grab her chin with my index finger and thumb. “We’re not just going to fuck, Thea.”
“Can broody Kyler come back?” she asks. “He’d fuck me.”
I chuckle, knowing she’s joking. “I just want one time where I can go slow and worship you. After that, we’ll fuck if that’s what you want.”
Thea stands on the bed, so she’s at eye level with me. “A mix of both,” she says. “Have a good practice. I’ll see you at lunch.” She gives me a long, teasing kiss before sneaking out of my room.
I come out a few minutes later and head downstairs. Devon is stuffing his face with leftover pizza, and Nolan is drinking coffee. I can’t do either, not before practice. I go to the hall closet and grab my gear, and gag at the smell. “The season can’t end soon enough. This closet fucking stinks.”
One of the guys laugh.
“Not until March, baby!” Devon says from behind me.
“Best words ever.” I give him a fist bump.
“So, had someone over last night?” Nolan waggles his eyebrows at me.
I hold up my hand and then hold it out to shake his. “Meet Rosie and her sisters.”
“Ewe, don’t touch me with your jack-off hand.” Nolan recoils and acts like I have cooties. “You need a girlfriend.”
I have one, thank you very much. “What I need is to get to practice. Come on, let’s go.”
Practice was hard. Mostly because I’m tired and lacking energy. I need to find a way to co-exist with Thea, hockey, school, and work because burnout is real. Right now, I can barely keep my eyes open during the lecture I should be taking notes on. Instead, I’m fighting to keep my head upright and my attention on my professor. If there’s going to be a test on whatever he’s saying, I’m going to fail. I look at who is sitting to my right and then to my left to try and figure out if they’re taking notes or not. I’m going to have to bum a copy from someone because I can’t afford to fail. I decide the girl on my right is probably more detailed than the guy on my left. I lean over to her and whisper, “Hey.”
She turns her head toward me slowly. I can’t tell if she’s mean, glaring, or shocked I’m speaking to her. Her expression says nothing. “Can I take a picture of your notes after class?”
“It’ll cost you,” she says.
Great, money I don’t have. “How much?”
“An invite to your next party at the hockey house.”
Easy. “We don’t send invites. People just show up. You’re welcome anytime.”
She studies me for a minute. “Not good enough, then. I want to go on a date. With you.”
“Uh, I don’t date.”
“You do if you want my notes.”
The professor dismisses our class before I form a rebuttal or ask the guy next to me to copy his. However, this girl isn’t taking no for an answer and sets a piece of paper down in front of me. The writing is girly, done in pink ink, with hearts around her phone number. When did she have time to get this creative?
“Dude, did you take notes?” the guy next to me asks.
I look from him to my very blank page of paper and then back at him. “I did. Do you want them?” I rip the paper from the notebook and hand it to him. I’m up and out of my seat before he can say anything to me.
I see Jude in the hall, coming toward me. “Hey, we’re gonna be late.”
“For what?”
“We have a Blue Line luncheon today.”
Shit. I fall in step next to Jude. It’s unlike me to forget about events where the hockey team has to make an appearance. “Did Coach remind us this morning?”
“Yes,” Jude says.
Double shit. I rub my hand over my face to clear the cobwebs. As much as it’s going to pain me to have this conversation with Thea, it has to happen sooner rather than later. I can’t afford to mess up.
