Between Forever, page 25
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Lani says.
“No, I imagine not. I’ve been working through my issues and trying to get my life back together, which was why I came here. I wanted a chance to explain, to try and make things right, even if she never wanted anything to do with me again. I feel she deserves to know the truth, and I was never given the opportunity to clear the air.”
She sighs and looks at Kyle, who just shrugs his shoulders. “She’s in Raleigh,” Lani says as I look up at her. “That’s all I’ll say, if you want her bad enough, go find her. But, if you tell her I told you where she is, I’ll find you,” she smirks. “And if you fucking hurt her again, I’ll kill you,” she says.
“I didn’t hurt her before, but I promise, I’ll never hurt her. If I find her and she still wants nothing to do with me, I’ll let her go. You have my word,” I say, a subtle smile curling my lips.
“Go, go find her.” Lani smiles as I run to my truck. I open the door and turn back to her.
“Thank you.” She nods, and I climb in, speeding away and heading straight towards Raleigh without even going home. I stop and fill up the truck with gas and hit the interstate. Raleigh is only a couple of hours from Camden, so I should be there by midnight. I’ll rest and then start my search tomorrow, though I think I know exactly where I’ll find her.
Chapter 34
“Good morning,” I say to Luke as I walk into my office in the East corner of the Raleigh Library.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he croons as I walk by. He grabs my hand as I pass and pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Have dinner with me?”
“You know I can’t do that, employee fraternization is frowned upon.” I pull myself away.
“Fuck the rules, I want back what we had in Atlanta.”
“I’m not going back there, in case you’ve forgotten exactly what you had,” I smirk.
“I’ve apologized for that up one side and down the other, will you ever forgive me?”
“I forgive you, Luke. But that’s it, I’ll never forget it, so you need to move on.” I laugh. He’s been hitting on me ever since I got here, and while it’s flattering, I don’t go back to someone that hurt me.
“It’s him, isn’t it?”
“Who?”
“That guy you’ve been pining for since high school, Ethan?”
“Evan and no…that was over before it started,” I say. “How many books did we get in?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Forty-three, I’m almost done cataloging them now.”
“Good, we’ll get them on the shelves soon. I think the high school kids can use these for their final term papers,” I say as I pick one up and thumb through it. “This one might even be good for someone’s thesis.”
“Yeah, they’re all good reads, lots of information in them. It’s nice to see these books updated as time goes along.” He says as I walk into my office and close the door. He just had to bring up Evan, just as I was about to get him completely out of my mind.
I lied, I’ll never get him completely out of my mind. I lay in bed at night wondering what he’s doing, if he’s even realized that I’m gone. I’ve been here in Raleigh for three weeks now, and he’s not made one attempt to contact me, and I’m glad about that. I think. With me out of the picture, he can move onto his next conquest without a chance of running into me somewhere, since he’s never going to change.
He puts on a good front though, letting girls believe that they’re the only one for him and that he’s a one-woman man. I know him though, he’ll never be like that. Lindsay ruined him, and he’ll go on with his life as he was before me. I log onto my computer and check the webcam at the Camden library, checking on the repairs. I might not work there anymore, but it’s still home, and I want to see it rebuilt correctly. I also keep thinking I might catch a glimpse of Evan, but so far he’s either evaded the camera, or he’s working somewhere else. Probably best too, as I don’t know how I’d feel if I saw him.
I make my way out into the library and sit behind the concierge desk, and as I get logged on, a group of college students roll into the library and check into one of the study rooms. This library sits on the outskirts of the University, so we not only get locals but students as well.
“Wanna grab some lunch?” Lucy asks, who is one of the part-time employees. She teaches at the university and works here every other day. I look at my watch and realize it’s one o’clock already.
“Yeah, sounds good,” I say logging off the computer. “Can you watch the desk?” I ask out to Luke who’s in the history aisle stocking books.
“Yeah, no problem,” he answers as he looks dejected.
“You should go out with him,” Lucy says, smiling towards him.
“Been there, done that…bought the tee-shirt.”
“What? When?”
“A long time ago,” I laugh. “We worked together in Atlanta a few years ago.”
“Ah, what happened?”
“Didn’t work out,” I shrug. I’m not about to tell her the whole story. I barely know this girl, and we all have to work together, so I’m not going there. We descend the concrete stairs outside of the library and head to the parking lot. As I dig my keys out of my purse and look up, I freeze in my tracks.
Parked next to my Honda is a huge black truck, one that looks just like Evan’s. “Can you drive? I must have left my keys in my office,” I say as I gently let my keys go.
“Sure, I’m over here,” she responds, and we turn towards the side parking lot. She unlocks her Jeep, and we climb in. “Barbecue?”
“Oh that sounds good,” I say as she pulls out, driving past the other lot where my car is. I don’t see anyone standing there, and the windows of the truck are tinted, so I can’t tell if anyone is in the truck or not.
We sit down and eat, not talking much as my mind has gone back to Evan. I try to filter him out of my mind as much as possible, but occasionally something reminds me of him. And since Luke brought him up, he’s at the forefront of my mind. When we get back to the library, the truck is gone, and I actually feel relieved, but a little disappointed at the same time. He doesn’t know where I am, so he’s not here. I don’t know why I thought that could have been him.
As the sun starts setting, we close up the library and shut all the computers off. “Can I at least walk you to your car? It’s later than usual, and I don’t want you walking in the dark.”
“It’s not dark yet, Luke.”
“Humor me, will you?” He laughs.
“Fine, let me grab my coat.”
I button up my coat and lock up my desk, keeping my laptop here. One thing I’ve changed since I got here is I don’t take work home with me. My time is now my time, so once I leave here, I don’t pick it up until I walk in the next morning.
Since the sun is setting, the temperature has dropped, and it’s quite cold. I wrap my scarf around my neck a little tighter, and as I look up, my glasses are wet. “Is that snow?”
“Yeah, just flurries though. Not supposed to snow big or anything.”
“Good, I’ve seen enough snow for one winter,” I laugh, even though I’ve only seen two flurries of snow. Just neither of them are good memories. We get to my car, and I unlock it, opening the door.
“Are you sure you don’t want to have dinner with me? I imagine dinner at your hotel restaurant can’t be fun anymore.”
“I do need to find an apartment I think,” I say. “I’m ready to settle into my new town. And no, I don’t think dinner is a good idea.”
“Neither do I.” A deep voice sounds from behind us. I turn, though I know the voice before I even see him.
“Evan,” I whisper as our eyes lock. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he answers, but he’s looking at Luke.
“Well, see you tomorrow Trudi,” Luke says as he half walks/half runs to his car.
“Goodnight Luke!” I wave at his back.
“Who was that?” Evan asks.
“Who was that? I don’t think I need to answer your questions until you answer mine. What are you doing here?”
“I came to find you, now who was that?”
“Oh no, you’re not going to come here and question me. He’s a co-worker as if it’s any of your business,” I answer angrily. How dare he come here out of the blue and then question me?
“I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting to see you with a guy, that’s all.”
“Well, welcome to Raleigh, I wasn’t expecting to see you at all. Now, why are you really here?”
“Can we go somewhere and talk? It’s freezing.”
“Fine, but you need to make it quick,” I say as I get into my car. “Follow me,” I say, then realizing his truck is parked behind mine and a few spaces down. That was him parked next to me this afternoon, I knew it.
I have no idea where I’m going since I’m still new here, so I head towards my hotel and see a sports bar and pull in and Evan pulls in next to me. I watch him pull his beanie over his head, and he looks as sexy as he did last time I saw him, maybe hotter. Something is different about him, but he needs to lose the bossiness. I’ll let him talk, get out what he needs to say, then he needs to go.
He presses his hand to the small of my back as we enter the pub, his warm hand instantly warming my body. Fuck, I’m angry at him. I hate him, why does he still have this effect on me? I need to shake this feeling, or I’m going to hate myself as well.
We’re seated, and the hostess sits two menus in front of us. I scan it, trying not to look at Evan, but he’s only looking at me. I refuse to start this conversation, he came here to say something…he can start. We order, and I’m surprised he doesn’t order a drink, he requests water. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him drink water.
Now we’re face to face, and I put my eyes anywhere but on him. “How did you find me?” I ask.
“Doesn’t matter, but I’m glad I did. I need to talk to you, explain to you what happened the last time we saw each other.”
“You can spare me the details, Evan. I can only imagine what happened, and believe me, I’ve imagined it over and over in mind.”
“It’s not what you think, Trudi. Lani saw something, yes, but she overreacted and ran to you before I could explain.”
“How dare you throw this on my best friend.”
“Call her,” he says as he slides his phone towards me. I purse my lips closed, and he leans in, taking both of my hands over the table. “My only indiscretion that night was going to Grungy’s and having a drink, nothing happened with that woman.”
“Well, no, Lani stopped it before it happened.”
“No, I stopped it before it happened. I was trying to leave, to brush the woman off and she was persistent. I was leaving the bar when she draped herself on me, just as Lani saw. She hadn’t seen me pushing her away before that.”
I listen to him tell his story, his eyes glistening. He goes on to explain to me what happened afterward, with his parents coming home and finding him on the edge of death. “Oh God,” I say, choking back the tears. I don’t know what else to say at this point, so I let him continue.
“Trudi, I know I fucked up. But not in the way you think. I went for a drink, that’s all. When I told you I wanted you in my life, I meant it. You pulled me out of the dark, and when you left, I succumbed to it once again, this time almost taking my own life. I get that you’re hurt, I do…but I was hurt too. I know, it’s not the same, but we all handle things differently, alcohol was my outlet. Sex was my outlet, but it was never love. After making love to you, I knew then you were the only woman I’d ever touch again, and there’s been no one since. I need you in my life, but if I can’t have you…then I needed reassurance that you were happy, that’s why I came here.”
My brain is on overload right now, I don’t even know what to think at this point. I’m angry at Lani for telling him where I am, I’m mad that he almost had sex with that woman, I’m pissed that I never gave him the chance to tell his side of the story, and I’m angry at life. Things were starting to look up for me, and I was on my way to making it better, and now he shows up. I’m still making sense of everything else that happened before I left Camden, and now I have this man…the man I’ve loved for fourteen years…right in front of me, begging for my forgiveness.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, but I want to be in your life in any way I can. I’ll even move here if that’s what you want. My parents are back in Camden, so I need to find a new place anyway. What better idea than to start fresh somewhere else? Like you did?”
“I don’t know what to say, Evan,” I respond as the waitress brings our food, though I’m not hungry at all right now. “Can I get a to-go box?” I ask the waitress, who looks at me and then at Evan, before nodding and walking away.
“You’re not going to eat?” He asks.
“I..I can’t, I can’t even think right now,” I say as she brings the Styrofoam container. I dump the salad into it and closed the lid before sliding out of the booth. “I need to go,” I cry out as I run out of the restaurant, the door opening into the bitter cold. I race to my car and get in as quickly as I can and put the key in, but the damn car won’t start. “Fuck, what’s wrong now?” I cry as I beat the steering wheel. I try and try again, but the car just won’t start. “Ugh,” I groan as I grab my cell phone and start searching for a tow truck.
As I’m scrolling I hear a tapping on my window. I look, and of course, it’s Evan. I open the door since I can’t roll down the window, “Car won’t start?” He smirks, almost as if he did this to my car on purpose just so I’d have to talk to him.
“No, I say, my teeth chattering.”
“Hop into the truck, I’ll take you home.”
“No, thank you. I’ve got this.”
“Do you know anyone else to call?”
“I’ll call Luke,” I say as I scroll through my contacts.
“The fuck you will,” he says as he scoops me out of my car and carries me to his truck, opening the door with one hand and sliding me into the passenger seat. It all happened so fast, I didn’t even have time to fight him off. He closes the door and then closes mine, after locking it, and before I can get out of the truck, he’s in the driver’s seat.
“Cute move back there,” he chuckles. “Which way to your place?”
I sigh, knowing he’s won. “The hotel across the street.”
“You’re living in a hotel?”
“Staying in a hotel, until I find a place.”
“You’ve been here for three weeks, how have you not found a place yet?”
“I’ve not had time to look,” I say, looking out the window at the falling snow.
“I think you haven’t looked because you weren’t sure if this was where you wanted to be.”
“Oh, you think you know me huh?” I ask, now starting to get angry.
“You know you’re beautiful when you’re angry?” He says, smiling at me as he pulls into the hotel parking lot. I don’t answer him, but he reaches for me, pulling me close to him and kisses me, hard and passionately. I can’t draw away from him, though I try. As his tongue swipes my bottom lip, I give into him because I can’t fight him anymore. I’ve missed him more than I was willing to admit, but I knew deep down inside he wasn’t right for me.
I put everything I have into this kiss, and give him back all that he’s given me. My head is telling me to stay away and my heart is telling me to take it slow. My body is another story, as it’s giving into him no matter the battle between my heart and my head.
“I never meant to hurt you, and God forbid I ever do, but I need you, Trudi. You bring the light back into my dark, you bring the warmth back into my cold, and you bring life back into my death. I love you, more than life itself and I want to make things right. Will you give me a second chance?” He whispers against my lips.
“Take me upstairs, Evan.” And right then, I gave into my heart and my body and made the world right again, for both of us. “At times in this life, you have to give into what you feel and take the chances that you’re afraid to take. As scared as I am right now, I need you as well. You are the whole of my half, the umbrella to my rain and the flowers in my dirt. I’m sorry I ran, but I’m here now…and the only place I’m going is to bed with you. Take me upstairs, Evan. Take me away from all of this and make me whole again, because, without you, I’m only a fraction of the woman I’m meant to be.”
THE END
Other works by Christa Lynn
The Destined Series:
Running From Destiny – Book 1
Accepting Destiny – Book 2
Reprisal
Requital
Seeking Clarity
Chance of a Lifetime
The Finding Peace Series:
In Pieces – Book 1
Batteries Not Included - A Romantic Comedy
Coming Soon:
Missing Pieces - Book 2 of the Finding Peace Series
Piece Us Together - A Novella
Find Me:
Facebook:
www.facebook.com/christalynnauthor/
Instagram:
www.instagram.com/authorclynn/
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/clynnauthor
Keep reading for a sneak peek into my romantic comedy - Batteries Not Included
Sneak Peek into Batteries Not Included
Chapter 1
Reaching down into my bra, I pinch the cashew that fell between my boobs. I glance at it before popping it into my mouth and brush the salt off my t-shirt. I feel eyes on me—Sarah is staring at me.
"What?” I croon. "I dropped my nut."
"You are a nut."
"But you love me," I say as I grin at her, grabbing my long-neck and chugging the last swallow before slamming the bottle onto the plastic patio table.
