Between Forever, page 21
“Shh, it’s okay Trudi.”
“No, it’s not okay. I killed someone,” I cry.
“It was self-defense, Trudi. We all know that. She was going to kill you if you didn’t.” But that doesn’t help matters. I feel so guilty that I took a life, and it all comes rushing to me. Now I understand why Evan is the way he is, he felt so guilty for Lindsay dying. Even though the circumstances are different, I totally get it now.
“Okay you two, you’re free to go. But stay in town as we’re going to have more questions for you.”
“Yes, sir,” we say in unison as we stand up and follow the officer to the door.
“Deb, are you going to be okay here by yourself?” I ask as we pass Deb on the way out.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she says as an officer walks up beside her.
“We’ll make sure she’s okay,” he says, and I can sense there’s a connection already building. How she can be thinking about something like that at a time like this is beyond me.
We walk outside, and the cold air blasts us, and I shiver. Evan pulls me closer and opens the truck door. He cages me in and leans down, his fingers brushing my chin before he gently kisses me. “I’m so glad you’re all right, Trudi. I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you.”
I smile, but I kiss him again to shut him up. His tongue dances with mine, and he pulls me closer, kissing me with a fever that I don’t think either of us has ever felt. He hisses and pulls back a little, my nose has hit his. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“It’s okay, I’ll deal with a little pain if I get to do that again,” he says as his mouth comes down on mine again. I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline rushing through our veins, or the relief that it’s over that’s got us feeling this way. He finally pulls back and helps me into the truck. I climb in, and he buckles my seat belt.
He jumps in and starts the truck, blasting the heat to warm it up. I lay my head back and let the motion of the truck relax me, almost causing me to fall asleep. I open my eyes as Evan pulls into his driveway.
“You’re not taking me home?”
“No way, not tonight anyway. I don’t want you being alone,” he says, and I’m too tired to argue. We walk into the house, and he leads me to his bedroom.
“Umm,” I say.
“Again, you’re not going to be alone tonight,” he says, his voice sounding like his nose is plugged, and I can’t help but giggle.
“What’s so funny?” He asks, stepping back and places his hands on his hips.
“You sound like you sucked in a helium balloon,” I laugh out loud. I can’t help it, but he does. I imagine it’s exhaustion overcoming me, causing me to laugh almost hysterically.
“Oh, you think that’s funny huh?” He frowns, but I can tell he’s amused. I’m laughing so hard that I can’t breathe and tears stream down my face. “Well, I’ll have you know that my nose has been broken before, and…”
“Stop, I can’t! I’m gonna pee!” I scream as I look for a bathroom. He laughs and points me towards the master bathroom, and I run in, closing the door behind me and doing what I need to do. As I finish, I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. I’m a hot mess, for sure. My hair is a mess, my makeup is streaked down my face, and I look like I’ve been awake for a month. I take my glasses off and pull the ponytail out, searching for a brush and finally finding one.
“Are you okay in there?” Evan asks from outside the door.
“Fine, I’ll be out in a second.”
“I brush my hair out, and it falls in soft waves over my shoulders. I splash cold water on my face and remove the smeared makeup, and as I blot my face dry, my eyes brighten. Here I am, standing in Evan’s master bathroom and he’s outside the door. “Can I take a shower?” I ask.
“Of course, there are towels in the closet. Help yourself. I’ll fix us something to eat.”
“Okay,” I say, turning the shower on. The dark brown tiles sparkle under the droplets of water and the dual shower heads spray hot water in multiple directions. I take my clothes off and step into the steamy water, resigned to get myself a shower like this. The hot water sluices over my aching body and I lean my head back to wet my hair. I turn to face the spray and allow the water to wash away the grime of the day, my hair falling into my face.
I spot the shampoo in the corner, and I reach for it, lifting the lid. As I start to pour a little into my hands, I feel a blast of cold air behind me. Startled, I turn, and Evan is standing in the shower with me. “Evan!” I squeal and immediately try to cover myself.
“Let me do that,” he says as he takes the shampoo bottle from my hands, the heat in his swollen eyes is palpable. “Turn around,” he says as I put my back to him. I hear his breathing, and I swear I can feel his heart beating, or maybe that’s mine. He massages the shampoo into my hair, kneading and pulling his fingers through the strands. “Your hair is beautiful,” he whispers. I can feel the heat from his body up against mine.
He finishes, and I turn back to face him, leaning my head back to rinse the shampoo out, and as I do, I can feel his eyes on me and for the first time in maybe forever, I feel sexy. As conscious as I am about him seeing me naked, I give him this. The shampoo rinses from my hair and over my body as I work the rest of it out, before opening my eyes and seeing exactly what I’ve done to him.
My eyes catch his cock and his hand jerks, he’s fighting an inner battle with himself and trying not to touch himself at the same time he’s trying not to scare me off. And I should be scared, but I’m not for some reason. Seeing the way he’s looking at me is empowering, and intoxicating. The sexual tension in this shower is at an all-time high, and I don’t know if I can fight it off this time. His body is wet, and his muscles shimmer in the steam. He’s nibbling on his bottom lip and looking almost as scared as I am.
But this, this is something we need to work through. He may not feel the same way I do, but there’s only one way to find out. After all, he’s the one that got in the shower with me, so maybe there is something there. I know, I’m not his type…or perhaps I am, and he’s just now figuring that out.
I lick away a droplet of water, and that appears to be the straw that broke the camel’s back because I swear I hear him growl as he comes to me. His mouth comes down hard on my lips, and I know that had to hurt his face, but it doesn’t stop him. His tongue seeks entrance, and as he licks away the water, I open to him. His hands are on my face, and he’s holding onto me as if I’m going to back away. I give him everything he needs and more, kissing him back with a fervor that I’ve never experienced.
But suddenly he stops and rests his forehead against mine, his breathing heavy. He looks at me, and I don’t move. I reach up and rest my hand on his chest, our eyes boring into each other as if they’re on fire and the fires are merging into one raging inferno. I know now that there’s no going back.
He takes a bottle of shower gel and fills his hands, rubbing it into a thick lather before gently touching my shoulders and massaging the foam into my skin. His fingers trail down to my breasts, and he cups each breast, his eyes not leaving mine. I know he’s looking for reassurance that this is okay, and frankly, I don’t think I could stop him even if I wanted to. He turns me to face the water and his soapy hands massages my shoulders and back before they are lowered to my ass. His thumbs dig into my cheeks, and a let out a soft moan. “You like that huh?”
I nodded unable to speak, as he reaches around and pulls me into his chest and I feel his hard cock against my ass. He massages my stomach, his slick hands sliding all over my body before he cups my pussy and pushes a finger through my folds. The electricity that flows through his fingers is working magic on my tired and aching body, and I melt into him. His thumb massages my clit as he slides a finger inside me, my body arching against his. His lips find my shoulder, and his fingers keep strumming every chord in my body until my legs start to shake. He slides a second finger inside me, and I really start to shake, my knees getting weaker and weaker. I feel an unfamiliar burn inside me, a raging fire that’s about to explode.
My head instinctively rolls back against his shoulders, but just as I’m about to come, he stops and unlatches the shower head so that he can rinse me off. I let out a frustrated huff, but try to contain my disappointment. After all the soap is rinsed off, he pulls me back to him and kisses my neck, “Don’t worry, I’m not done yet,” he says, and his words start the slow burn once again.
He turns off the water and hands me a large, soft towel and dries me off before wrapping a smaller towel around my hair. “Let me get that,” I say as I turn my head upside-down and wrap the towel tightly around my head. He dries off and then takes my hands, tugging me towards the bedroom.
“Are you all right?” He asks, must sense some frustration.
“I’m fine,” I say, sounding like a broken record.
“That you are,” he whispers as he tugs the towel out of my hair and wraps it around his fist. He pulls my head back, and his mouth finds my neck, his lips leaving soft kisses down my chest before wrapping around my nipple. His mouth licks and nips, gently sucking on my breasts as my body reheats. He left me hanging on the ledge earlier, and I imagine it won’t take me long before I tumble over the edge.
He coaxes me backward until my knees bend and I’m sitting on the edge of the bed. I scoot back and grabs my legs, pulling me back forward. The heat in his eyes is burning through me, and I feel a gush of wetness between my legs. He gets to his knees and spreads my legs apart and gazes between my legs. “Evan, you don’t…” I breathe out, but his thumbs spread me open, and his tongue swipes through me before I get the words out. “Fuck,” I groan.
I feel him chuckle against my pussy, his tongue circling my clit as his fingers push into me. Instantly, I’m right back to where I was in the shower, only this time he doesn’t stop. He laps at me, sucking my skin into his mouth as he fucks me with his fingers, “Oh God,” I cry out.
He moans against my clit, the vibrations sinking into me as the waves of an intense orgasm wash over me. My eyes close and my back arches as my body convulses against his face, but he doesn’t stop. He drinks in my juices and rubs my clit harder and faster, sending my senses into a tailspin before I can even catch a breath.
As I recover from his ministrations, I hear the crinkling sound of a foil packet. I open my eyes and watch him roll the condom on his cock before he slowly sinks into me, filling me. “Fuck, Trudi.” He moans as he stops, letting us both feel every inch of each other. He props up onto his elbow and leans in and kisses me, the musky taste of myself all over his tongue.
As his hips roll, he keeps his eyes on me, our breaths intertwining and our sweat mixing together. He makes love to me like no one ever has before, and I feel the connection that is starting to seal between us. He’s gentle, but takes what he needs, while giving me what I need at the same time. Sweat drips through the bandages on his face as he strokes into me, but his eyes stay on mine. I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders and pull him into me, giving him all that I have. I clench my muscles and tighten up as he downstrokes and then freezes, his eyes close, and he groans as he comes and lays into me, nuzzling his head into my shoulder and exhaling a long sigh.
Chapter 29
“Fuck, that felt amazing,” I mumble into her neck. I feel her body shaking and her hands stroke my hair, but she doesn't speak. I look up at her, and I see a stray tear escape her eye. “What’s wrong, did I hurt you?” I say as I scoot up and search her eyes.
She shakes her head and smiles, “No, you didn’t,” she croaks out between tears.
“Then what is it?” I ask, feeling like an asshole for taking advantage of her.
“I don’t know,” she cries. “I just, feel a bit overwhelmed I guess,” she says.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize.
“Sorry for what?” She brushes the tear away. “Sorry for making me feel alive for the first time in my life? Sorry for making me believe that someone cares for me?”
“I do care for you,” I say brushing my thumb down her cheek. “Maybe more than I realized I already did.”
“Then don’t apologize for that, these are happy tears…” she whispers as she kisses my lips. “Do you know…”
“Shhh,” I say as I kiss her again before tucking her under my arm. She rests her head on my chest, and I feel at peace for the first time in a long time. I have no desire to kick this woman out of my bed, and I actually can’t wait to wake up with her in my arms. It’s so unlike the old Evan, but Trudi brings something out in me that I didn’t know existed. She makes me want to be a better person, to change the way I’ve been living.
Fact is, I haven’t been living. I’ve been merely existing, and now I’m finding the desire to actually live. I look down, and Trudi’s hair is splayed on the stark white pillowcase, her full lips parted gently, and I feel her warm breath on my chest. I know she’s sleeping, and I’m glad. She’s had a rough week or so, and she truly needs to rest.
I slip out from under her and tuck the blanket up to her chin and throw on some sweats and a tee shirt before heading out to the kitchen to make some dinner. She must be famished, as I know I am. I flip the gas on the fireplace and open the flue, something I haven’t done since I got back here. Then I start pulling sandwich meats and condiments out and setting them up, as I’ve not been to the grocery store and this is all I have. I reach for a beer and pop the stop, snapping it to the trash can and taking a long pull from the bottle, quickly realizing that I don’t need, or want this beer. I don’t need to get drunk anymore, in fact…I don’t want to. I want to be sober and aware of everything around me, so I pour the beer into the sink and toss the bottle away.
I dig around in the pantry and find a bag of chips and set those out before grabbing plates and setting them next to everything else. It’s then that I feel her, her very presence wakes something up in me that I thought was dead and gone. I turn to see her standing there, in nothing but one of my tee shirts. I smile and cock my head at her, “I’m sorry, I didn’t have any other clothes in your room. I’ll go change,” she says as she turns.
“Don’t you dare,” I say as I walk to her. “My tee shirt looks much better on you than it does me,” I say as I kiss her. “What’s all that?”
“I don’t have much food here, but I figured you’d be hungry so I figured we’d make sandwiches and sit by the fire and watch the snowfall.”
“It’s snowing again?” She squeals and runs to a window, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the big fluffy flakes falling like cotton from the dark sky. She’s like a kid in a candy store seeing the huge snowflakes and the light dusting that already covers the ground. I can’t help but smile at her, she looks so happy. I watch her watch the snow, and my heart starts beating again, something that stopped three years ago. It’s pounding so hard that my chest hurts, it feels full.
She feels me staring at her, and she ducks her chin in embarrassment but smiles at me as she walks into the kitchen, her shapely legs bare and smooth. The tee shirt almost hits her knees, but she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She lifts her glasses onto her head and scans the counter, and I hear her stomach rumble. I hand her two slices of bread, and we both set to make our sandwiches. She follows me into the living room, and after placing a blanket and pillows down, we eat in front of the fire on the floor.
After we finish she curls up on the floor, and I lay down next to her, facing her, just staring into her chocolate brown eyes. But she’s staring up at the window, watching the snowflakes hit the window. “Come on,” I say as I stand up and hold my hand out to her.
“Where are we going?”
“Get dressed,” I say as I direct her towards the guest room, though she won’t be sleeping in there. “Dress warm,” I say as I head to my room and throw on some warm clothes and my gray beanie. As I come out, she’s standing there in jeans and a sweater, her hair pulled back into a ponytail that pops out of her knit cap. “Where’s your coat?”
“I kind of forgot it,” she smirks and shrugs her shoulders. I grab one out of the coat closet and tuck it around her, and even though it’s four sizes too big, she looks terrific in it. I grab a pair of mom’s old gloves and toss those to her, and she slips her tiny hands into them. Then she grabs her purse and throws it over her shoulder.
“You won’t need that,” I say. “Follow me,” and she sets the purse down and follows me to the back door. She steps out onto the back patio, and her boots crunch down into the snow, and her face lights up again. I take her hand and lead her on the gravel path that surrounds the backyard and what used to be the garden though you can’t see it under the blanket of snow.
As we hit the bend in the path, we stop in front of the old gazebo that my mother used to sit in and read. It’s pitch black dark, but the glow from the house shines enough light for us to see the flakes falling. She gazes up at the sky and sticks her tongue out and catches a flake and I watch it instantly melt on her tongue. She grins at me and does it again and again, until finally I can’t take it anymore and I take her mouth, licking away the melted snowflake from her tongue.
I pull her into me as I notice her shivering a little, but I we stand under the falling snow and listen as it silently lands on the ground. A cold wind blows, and she pulls the coat closer, so I stand up and hold my hand out to her. She kicks the snow and starts to run, the flakes flying up behind her as she runs through the snow, so I pick up a hand full and make a small snowball and throw it at her, the ball shattering on her back. “Oh no, you didn’t!” She squeals as she picks up a handful of snow and throws at me, the ball hitting me in the chest.
