With his back teeth locked, Scott fought not to react. “Is that why he has a number tattooed on his hip?”

  Kylian shrugged. “It’s likely. That wasn’t part of the American process, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that was something done in other parts of the world. I think each program had its own system for keeping track of the boys they sold.”

  Scott nodded. He needed time to process. It had never occurred to him Anton’s past might be even worse than his. He had caught glimpses of something dark and secretive about Anton’s background, but he couldn’t have imagined this. It was oddly fitting they had found each other. “Thank you,” Scott said absently. He hit record and went back to the show. Scott had to buy time to think. He had some new things to consider.

  Anton paced and tried not to stare at Scott like a psycho. Seeing him hurt but incapable of doing anything about it, it was maddening. The session took longer than usual. Anton was ready to crawl out of his skin.

  “Does he hate me?” Anton couldn’t hold back the question. It burst from him. He didn’t know if Cormac would respond or if he even knew the answer. Anton had to ask anyhow.

  “No. I think he hates himself.”

  Anton stopped pacing and stared at Cormac at the claim. “What do you mean?”

  Cormac shook his head and made a dismissive gesture. “He said something weird to me today. He said he wasn’t upset with any of us, just disappointed in himself. It was like he thinks he failed some test only he knows about.”

  Anton moved back to the window. Scott’s hair was a mess again. “Has he been taking his meds?”

  “Yeah.”

  They stood in silence a moment longer before Cormac broke it again. “This is just my opinion on things, but I think he thinks he’s not strong enough for you, if that makes sense. It’s like he can’t stop punishing himself for allowing himself to get taken and not being able to free himself.”

  Anton’s gaze swung Cormac’s way. “It’s not his fault. None of that shit is on him.”

  Cormac held his hands up in surrender. “Hey. I’m not saying that’s what I think. I think he thinks it.”

  They went back to watching the show in silence. Once again, Cormac broke it. “He also said Finn loves me and I need to clean up my house.”

  A bark of laughter burst from Anton.

  Cormac didn’t join in.

  Anton looked his way. He looked defeated. Anton’s smile fell. He squeezed Cormac’s shoulder. “I understand.”

  Cormac nodded. “I know. You’re the only one who does.”

  Anton had been the one to bring Cormac into the family. Before today, he had always wondered if he was the only one who knew about Cormac’s past. Learning now that he was hurt his heart a little. Cormac deserved to be set free from the horror and memories. But Anton also understood how much someone’s past could break them in some fundamental way no one else saw. But each of them had to start over somewhere, and—unlike Cormac—Anton realized he needed to start today.

  “Watch these guys for a second. Don’t let them leave. I’ll be right back.”

  Cormac looked at him in confusion, but nodded. “Sure thing.”

  Anton rushed from the building and down the sidewalk into the nearby bodega. Luckily, they had exactly what he needed. He quickly made his purchase and rushed back to the station. A bright smile lit Cormac’s face at the sight of him. Anton ignored him and took up sentry right outside the door so Scott couldn’t get past him. Scott didn’t understand. He had no pride. That had been stripped from him decades ago. If Scott wanted to break him, he would have to try harder. Anton wouldn’t run like any of the pussies Scott had met before him.

  The door opened on the sound booth. Scott froze when he realized Anton had blocked the door. His gaze dropped to the flowers Anton held. Kylian released a barely suppressed squeal behind Scott. Scott’s gaze didn’t lift from the roses.

  “I love you.” Anton blurted the words. “There’s no one else out there for me. Please don’t run away from me.” He didn’t care who watched or listened. Anton wouldn’t let Scott get away or get lost inside his head.

  Scott reached for the flowers.

  Kylian stepped around him and snagged Cormac’s arm. “We’ll just leave you two alone.” He had Cormac dragged through the door faster than Anton could blink.

  Anton was ready to beg Scott to take him back.

  Scott shocked him. “I’m so sorry.” Scott shook his head. He looked broken. “I love you. I never wanted to disappoint you.”

  Anton held Scott’s stare so he could see the truth in his eyes. “The only way you could ever disappoint me is if you walk away from me for good. You’re the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m miserable without you.”

  “I’m miserable without you too,” Scott sniffed. He shuffled a step closer. “Sometimes my brain convinces me of stupid things, especially when I’m under stress. It’s no excuse, but—”

  “No,” Anton said before Scott said anything else. “You don’t have to explain. I never should’ve let you throw me out of the hospital room. You were upset and hurt, and I didn’t want to make things worse. But I shouldn’t have given in when you needed me the most. I’m just not good at knowing how to love anyone. That’s not something I was taught.”

  “Me either.”

  They spent a moment staring at each other. Anton swiped a hand over Scott’s hair. “I want to take care of you. For the rest of my life,” he clarified, in case Scott didn’t understand. “Come home with me. Be my happy place. I don’t want to sleep another night without you.”

  Scott swallowed. It looked like it hurt. “I’m really tired, baby. Can you take me home and hold me? I don’t sleep at night anymore. When I do…” Scott’s gaze slid away. “I don’t want to go back to my place again. I don’t feel safe anymore.”

  Every word of Scott’s admission broke his heart. Unfortunately, Scott wasn’t done.

  “I haven’t felt safe my entire life. When I’m with you, that’s the only time I’m not completely terrified and faking it. It really hit me when I was chained again. I always feel weak.” He swallowed again. “I’m not sure my mind can withstand it anymore.”

  Fuck. That was a feeling Anton understood. He had been terrified all the time as a child until he had finally broken. Anton would never let that happen to Scott. “You were so fucking brave.” Scott’s gaze moved back to his. Anton didn’t stop. “Anyone else in your position would’ve chosen to die rather than endure what you did. But you didn’t. They couldn’t kill you and they didn’t break you. You’re a fucking warrior.” Anton moved closer so he could cradle Scott in his arms. “With that said, you’re my warrior, and I will never let you go through anything bad again. For the rest of my life, I swear you’ll be safe.” He kissed Scott’s forehead and then his cheek. “I’ll stand between you and the world. Even nightmares will be too afraid to touch you.”

  Scott moved even closer, letting Anton truly hold him. The flowers were squished between them, and Anton didn’t care. Scott felt like heaven in his arms. He had been so damn scared he would never get to touch Scott again. All the torture he had endured over the years didn’t compare to finally being loved and losing it.

  “I love you.”

  The whispered words against his chest had Anton’s eyes falling closed. His chest felt full. “I will love you until the day I die.” He had never meant anything more. No matter what, no one else could ever take Scott’s place. They were it for each other.

  Cormac was beyond ready to go home. He had nothing against Scott. His bed called to him. Three weeks on Scott’s couch had his back a mess. He missed his space. Truthfully, he had worried he would never see it again. No one had blinked an eye over sending him away with no time off or thought to his feelings. Cormac was a laid-back guy, but fuck.

  “Sorry about the past few weeks,” Kylian said, as if reading his mind. “If Scott and Anton hadn’t come to their senses in the next few days, we would’ve figured something out. Honestly, no one thought it would take this long.”

  Cormac nodded as he drove. He would be damned if he said it was okay, but he was slightly mollified. “Scott needed the help.” That was true. He could take comfort in that.

  Kylian patted his arm. “You’re a good one. Rian’s already set things up for you to have the next two weeks off, and he’s giving you a bonus. Everyone appreciates you going the extra mile.”

  Cormac’s shoulders relaxed. He should have known Rian wouldn’t do him dirty. It had just been a long three weeks for him.

  “Finn has been depresso espresso since you’ve been gone. He’s wandered around like a lost puppy without his best friend.”

  His happiness soared for half a second before his chest tightened at Kylian’s claim. Finn was his literal partner in crime. They had worked side by side for years.

  Kylian kept talking, oblivious to Cormac’s raging emotions. “I can’t wait to see his reaction when you come through the door. He’s been asking every day when you were coming home.”

  Cormac kept nodding. Scott’s words kept rattling through his brain. The tightness in his chest worsened by the minute. Then they were home and Cormac set eyes on Finn. Finn’s face brightened. His dark blue eyes lit from the inside. Cormac watched it happen. The tightness in his chest disappeared. For the first time in weeks, he breathed properly. He felt the change overcome him from dark to light. Cormac bounded across the room.

  “It’s my friend.” He wrapped his arms around Finn and lifted him from his feet, bouncing him up and down as if they weren’t the same size.

  “Och. You’re an idiot.”

  Despite his words, Finn was smiling, and Cormac couldn’t resist him. He placed a loud kiss on his cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  Finn swiped at his cheek.

  Kylian laughed behind him. “I’ll leave you two to catch up.”

  Cormac set Finn on his feet but didn’t release him. “Tell me everything you did without me.”

  “I finished season two of our show.”

  With as much dramatics as he could muster, Cormac gasped. “You did not.”

  “No. I didn’t,” Finn admitted, sounding sheepish. “But I should have. You never called me. Not once.”

  He had done that. Phone calls were intimate. Cormac worried what he might say with nothing but Finn’s voice caressing his ear. “Sorry about that. I kept thinking I would call when Scott slept, but he either never slept or I slept through it. He paced the floor too much for me to do anything but watch.”

  Finn stroked a lock of Cormac’s hair that fell over his shoulder and down his chest. Cormac pretended not to notice the caress or the fact that he still held Finn.

  “Well, you’re back now. Does that mean things are mended between Anton and Scott?”

  Cormac shrugged. “Probably. Anton looked pretty determined.”

  “They’ll be fine, then.”

  Cormac gave a short nod. He still didn’t let Finn go. Their gaze stayed locked. He wanted so badly to tell Finn what Scott had said. Finn was his best friend. They talked about everything. Cormac couldn’t talk about this. He turned serious.

  “For real. I missed you.” Before Finn could give Cormac any opportunity to fuck up their friendship. Cormac took a step back and ran his hand over Finn’s bald head. “I see you’re freshly shaved. Do you have a hot date tonight?” Just asking that tore at Cormac’s throat.

  “No. It was just time to shave.”

  Cormac tossed his arm over Finn’s shoulder, hoping to hide the relief he felt. “Cool. I’ll be your hot date, then. We need to catch up on that show.”

  He felt the deep breath Finn took. “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”

  Cormac couldn’t either. Sometimes, he hated himself for this self-imposed suffering. The thing was, Scott truly was right. Finn loved him. Cormac felt it every day, sitting between them like a huge water balloon ready to pop at any second. It kept getting bigger by the moment. The problem was, Cormac loved Finn too, and no one should be cursed with that. So he would hang on to Finn’s friendship as long as he could. Then, when that balloon finally exploded all over them, he would let Finn go. He loved Finn too much to let him be unhappy.

  Chapter Ten

  The hot water streaming down his skin felt so much better on his sore body, with Anton washing him. He kept his eyes closed and his broken arm resting above his head and against the wall, trying to keep his cast dry. He savored the way Anton gently scrubbed his hair. Every few seconds, Anton’s lips would brush his shoulder. He felt like he floated on a cloud. Scott hadn’t thought he would find an ounce of peace again. He wouldn’t doubt them again.

  “I can’t wait to take care of you for the rest of my life.”

  A smile tugged at the corners of Scott’s mouth at Anton’s claim. Maybe he should feel guilty for being a grown man who needed exactly what Anton offered, but no. Scott had always needed a keeper. When Anton kissed Scott’s shoulder again, Scott reached over his shoulder and buried his fingers in Anton’s hair. Anton opened his mouth over the side of Scott’s neck. Scott’s body stirred.

  “God. My body is an absolute mess right now and you still set me on fire.”

  Anton hummed against his skin, making it harder for Scott to breathe. “I’m fine with holding you just like this. I need you healed.”

  Scott leaned back into Anton’s hold. “I want to watch you blow. Show me.”

  Anton’s hand slid down Scott’s stomach. He palmed Scott’s cock and squeezed. “I can get you off without hurting you.”

  Scott reached behind him and stroked Anton’s erection. “I know, but I want to watch.”

  Anton turned off the water. “Not here. I want your full focus. You can’t give me that while trying to keep your cast dry.”

  Scott didn’t argue. As long as Anton gave him that show, it didn’t matter where they were. He let Anton dry him before leading him to bed. Even being with the love of his life didn’t stop Scott from clenching his back teeth as he eased into bed.

  Anton straddled the only part of him that wasn’t bruised: his thighs. “Damn, baby. I wish I could take away the pain.”

  He adored that—even when hard—Anton still worried more about Scott’s injuries than his erection. “You are. You have no idea how much you take away my pain just by being with me.” He set his hand on Anton’s thigh. “I don’t feel a thing but bliss when you’re touching me.” Scott pointed toward the bedside drawer. “Now, get a toy from that drawer. I want to watch you fuck it.”

  The way Anton’s expression immediately turned heated let him know Anton wouldn’t argue. Anton slipped from the bed and padded to the table. He slid open the drawer and looked inside, as if trying to select the best toy. Finally, he chose a large rubber dildo. He set it and a bottle of lube on the table. Scott’s dick ached as the anticipation grew.

  Anton moved to a chair in the corner and tossed the clothes draped across the arm onto the floor. He carried the chair to the edge of the bed where Scott could see. Anton sat. He scooted his ass to the edge and draped one leg over the arm. Once in position, he grabbed the lube. Scott watched as Anton lubed his asshole.

  “Mhmm. Like that.” Scott’s cock leaked pre-cum onto his stomach.

  A flush rode on Anton’s cheeks. His dick looked rock hard as he played with his asshole for Scott’s amusement. Once he was thoroughly lubed, Anton grabbed the rubber cock. He pressed a hidden button, and the fake dick made a fast thrusting motion.

  “Interesting. Put it inside you.”

  At Scott’s demand, Anton positioned the toy against his hole. “You want it here?”

  Every breath Scott took felt heavier by the second. “Yes. In there.”

  Anton slowly pushed the toy inside him. As Scott looked on, Anton’s greedy ass visibly tried pulling the toy deeper. Anton moaned. Scott fought the urge to touch himself. Anton’s lips parted as he got into it, fucking himself with the toy. He tugged his cock with one hand while pumping the dildo into his ass.

  “Goddamn. You’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I wish it was me inside you. Your asshole is amazing. It’s so greedy. From the first time I fucked you, I knew no one else would do. Your entire body turns needy as hell the moment I touch you.”

  It was so hard not to pleasure himself at the sight of Anton getting off. Anton’s motions turned more frantic. The noises he made got louder. He thrust the fake dick faster inside him. Anton writhed and moaned. Scott’s dick wept. His breathing turned faster by the second as he watched Anton fuck his toy. Anton’s whimpers turned desperate.

  “Yes. Come for me. I want to see it. Watching you fly apart is my favorite pastime.”

  Anton visibly struggled toward the edge. Finally, a loud cry rent the air. Anton’s cock jumped as jets of cum shot into the air. Scott nearly came as he watched Anton orgasm. While still gasping for air, the dildo hit the floor as Anton shifted from the chair to kissing Scott. Their tongues stroked the way they always did just after Anton came. Scott had every moment of them memorized, including the lazy way Anton’s tongue moved when the cum had been drained from him.

  Anton moved away, making Scott whimper. He wanted that tongue back. Before he could protest, Anton reached inside the drawer and pulled out a battery-operated masturbator. He drizzled lube inside. His eyes flashed with wicked intent before he slid the toy onto Scott’s cock. He pressed the button. Scott gasped at the instant tight sucking.

  An evil-sounding chuckle fell from Anton’s lips. “You like that, huh?”

  Scott whimpered.

  Anton stood over him like he observed a science project. He pressed the button again and the sucking motion increased.

  Scott’s body jerked.

  “That’s right, beautiful. I know you have an unnatural amount of stamina, but you won’t last.” As if to prove his point, Anton clicked the button again. The toy sucked even faster.

 

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