Eight Years Gone, page 17
He closed the remaining distance between them, wrapping his arms around her as he settled his forehead against hers. “Promise me anyway.”
She nodded. “I promise.”
“We’re supposed to make babies together. You’re the only woman I want to be the mother of my kids.”
Sighing, she slid her hands up his arms to lock her fingers against the back of his neck. “When I talked to my doctor a few months ago, I had no idea you were coming home.”
“Here I am,” he reminded her yet again, needing her to truly believe him. “I know this isn’t fair—to come back after all this time and ask so much of you. But here I am, Grace.”
“I see you, Jagger.”
“But do you believe me? It only matters if you believe me.”
She nodded again. “I do.”
He exhaled a slow breath. “This is what I want for us—cozy nights when it’s cold outside. Dinner together after a busy day.”
She smiled. “Me too.”
“I love you, Gracie.”
“I love you, too.” She kissed him as her fingers wandered into his hair. “What if we make Saturday night cozy too? We can make dinner together—macaroni and cheese—and watch movies.”
He groaned as he started swaying, moving with her in a slow dance. “That sounds awesome.”
“Maybe you can bring a change of clothes, just in case you want to wake up with me on Sunday morning.”
He smiled. “I hear that cozy can be sexy.”
She smiled back. “I certainly hope so.”
He kissed her. “Do you want to eat?”
She nodded. “The crab Rangoon is calling my name.”
He kept her hand in his as they turned toward the counter. “Let’s grab the goods and take a seat.”
Eighteen
Top 40 music played through the speakers while Jagger stood next to Grace in the kitchen, going to town with a grater and his second big block of cheese.
Feeling the burn in his forearm, he stopped to flex his hand, more than a little relieved that he’d nearly finished his task. “This is no joke.”
Sending him a sympathetic smile, Grace wiggled her hips to the beat of the song while she stirred a gloppy mixture in one of the larger pots on the stovetop—a roux, she’d called it. “It’s the only downside to the whole dish.”
He shrugged. “Sometimes you have to pay to play, I guess.”
She laughed. “I promise it’ll be worth it.”
He grinned, getting back to work, loving everything about this moment—loving everything about their Saturday.
When he’d walked out of the dojang at one, Grace had been waiting, leaning against the driver’s side door of his car with a picnic basket in her hands.
Lunch at the park and a quick stop at the grocery store for dinnertime ingredients followed. Now they were home, making a meal while the rain that had threatened all afternoon fell in sheets.
“And just like that,” he said, finally finishing up with the last little hunk.
Grace raised her brow as she nodded. “I’m impressed. Eight minutes or less. That usually takes me forever.”
He flexed his hand again. “That’s a hell of a lot of cheese.”
She nodded again. “Four cups of the cheddar and two of the Gruyere.”
He moved to the sink to wash his hands. “And why didn’t we just get the already shredded stuff?”
She added milk and cream to the gooey mixture. “Because it doesn’t melt as well. And we’re going for perfection. I promised you an epic dinner.”
“With your mad kitchen skills,” he added.
“That’s right.”
Drying off his hands, he walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, bending down to kiss her neck. “I can already tell it’s going to be killer.”
She tipped her head to the side, giving him more room to continue his work. “I’m just waiting for this to thicken up a bit before I add the cheese. Then we’ll pour it over the noodles we cooked.”
He snagged her ear, smiling when she quietly shuddered out her next breath. “Then we eat?”
She shook her head. “It needs to bake for a while. That’s why we preheated the oven.”
He let his palms wander up her gray New York City sweatshirt, stopping to cup her breasts—to tease her nipples with gentle slides of his thumbs. “How long will we have?”
“About thirty minutes.” She made a sound in her throat, then gave him a bump with her butt. “You’re distracting me.”
His mouth went back to her neck. “Sorry.”
She grinned. “No, you’re not.”
He chuckled, stopping his teasing, holding her around her waist again. “This feels good. Being here like this.”
She leaned back into him. “I’d say it’s perfect.”
“Maybe we can do something like this next weekend too.”
She nodded. “I’ve been looking at some recipes for chicken cordon bleu.”
“Yes,” he said, nodding his enthusiasm. “This whole Grace Evans chef thing works for me.”
She laughed. “I’m definitely not a chef.”
“You could have fooled me.” Unable to get enough, he cozied her closer. “Maybe after I’ve watched you in the kitchen a couple more times, I can try cooking something for you.”
“I’d like that.” She kissed his cheek. “Since we’re talking about next weekend, do you have plans Friday night?”
He shook his head.
“The yearbook kids are taking pictures at the football game. I told them I would be there if they wanted any hints with their shots. If you’re up for it, you can come along.”
“Friday night lights with my favorite girl?” He nuzzled her neck. “Try and keep me away.”
She smiled. “Christy, Mike, and Brennan are coming. I think Ben mentioned something about stopping by too.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“I thought so.” She reached for a handful of the cheddar, adding it to the pot, whisking it into the mixture. “It’s been a long time since we’ve watched a football game together.”
They’d gone to several Syracuse home games, donning their ugly orange and blue in the name of school spirit. “Bring on the crappy nachos and cold pizza.”
She laughed.
He smiled again. “How else can I help with dinner?”
“Are you up for a little salad prep? Everything’s already washed. It just needs to be chopped.”
“I can do—” His phone started ringing.
Pulling it from his back pocket, he sighed as he read Jason Gray’s name.
Grace frowned. “Is everything okay?”
He nodded, deciding he might as well answer. Because Jason would just keep calling if he didn’t. “It’s my old boss.”
“Oh.”
“This should only take a second.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Sighing again, he answered as he stepped back from Grace. “Hello?”
“Are you bored playing average Joe yet?”
He moved farther away when Grace’s brow furrowed again. “I’d say it’s working just fine for me.”
“I have a job for you. South America. Thirty days. A hundred thousand dollars.”
Jagger moved to the fridge, grabbing the peppers, carrots, and tomatoes for the salad. “No, thanks.”
“They want you. I want you. You’re the best I have.”
He headed for the counter, watching Grace pour the cheese over the macaroni, then slide the large casserole dish into the oven. “I was the best you had.”
“What if I can get you a hundred twenty-five?”
He picked up his knife to get started on the red pepper but set it back down when he noticed Grace’s stiff shoulders as she headed for the laundry room. “You could get me two, and I’d still say no.”
“What about two twenty-five?”
He reached for Grace, catching her by the elbow as she walked back with a load of clean towels in her basket.
She pulled away, sending him a small smile as she kept walking toward the bedroom.
“The answer’s still no. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
“That’s what they all say. For a while, anyway.”
“I’m hanging up.” True to his word, Jagger disconnected the call, clenching his jaw as he shook his head.
Jason had a big damn mouth and an even louder voice.
“Son of a bitch,” he said on his exhale, glancing around the empty kitchen, well aware that everything he and Grace had been working so hard to fix was in jeopardy again.
Grace grabbed another extra-large bathroom towel from the basket, folding the soft cotton with hands that weren’t quite steady as her heart pounded in her chest.
Are you bored playing average Joe yet?
She closed her eyes as Jagger’s boss’s voice echoed in her head—as flashes of the Delta Force videos she’d watched reminded her of just how intense Jagger’s life had been.
She’d been so foolish—so stupid—to let herself believe they could pick up where they’d left off. So much time had passed. They were entirely different people.
“Gracie.”
She opened her eyes, focusing on her chore. Because at this moment, she had no idea what to do. “Dinner should be out of the oven in about twenty minutes.”
He snagged her by the arm, turning her to face him. “I don’t know how much of that you heard…”
She’d heard all of it. But she shrugged, crossing her arms at her chest so he couldn’t see her hands tremble. “I thought I would give you some privacy.”
“I meant what I told him. I’m happy right here.”
And she believed that he believed that. He was happy for now, while everything felt new. “That’s a lot of money to turn down.”
“I don’t need the money. I’ve made more than enough the past couple of years."
She wanted to turn and reach for another towel but held his stare. “Macaroni and cheese and Friday night lights. This is really enough?”
“Feeling like I’m home again? Fixing things with you? That’s everything, Grace.”
“You’re the very best there is. You’re wasting that in this little town.”
He clenched his jaw. “I’m not wasting anything.”
She huffed out a humorless laugh because Jagger had never been able to see just how amazing he was. “You were always afraid you were holding me back. It was never true, but…” She shrugged. “It’s funny how the tables have turned.”
His eyes flashed with temper. “That’s bullshit.”
Shaking her head, she turned away, afraid she would burst into tears.
He turned her back. “I don’t want that anymore, Grace. I’ve never wanted any of that more than I’ve wanted you.”
Her tears started falling. “I just want you to be happy.”
He sighed. “I am happy.”
“But for how long? You’re a brilliant, highly skilled man—quite the opposite of the average Joe.”
His nostrils flared now. “Jason’s an idiot.”
“He’s also right.”
“Damn it, Grace, how do I make you believe me? How do I make you understand that I don’t want to live out of a suitcase in some godforsaken place? Proof of life protocols and being responsible for other people’s lives… I don’t want to look over my shoulder and dodge bullets anymore. I want you. I want this right here. More than that, I need it. I need you, Grace. I always have.”
She needed him too, but mostly she needed him to make his dreams come true. No one deserved an amazing life more than he did. “If you ever change your mind—”
He yanked her against him. “I won’t.” He cupped her cheeks. “You’re so afraid that I’m going to walk away. But maybe you’ll wake up one of these mornings and remember you’ve done just fine without me.”
She adamantly shook her head. “I haven’t been fine, Jagger.”
“Neither have I. I walked away when I never should have. I did a job that was as exciting as it was terrifying. Now I’m home—right where I want to be.”
She wrapped her arms around him, finally choosing to surrender—to let herself embrace that this was real. Jagger was truly home for good. “I love you.”
Returning her embrace, he kissed the top of her head. “I love you, too.” He kissed her again. “Please, let’s get back to our evening—to macaroni and cheese and movies.”
She nodded. “I’d like that.”
Nineteen
Grace hummed along with the radio as she tightened her focus on a generous bunch of boldly purple asters in their galvanized steel bucket.
Clicking the shutter button, she pulled the camera back, studying the screen, pleased with the subtle blur of the various other fall flowers available for sale in the pick-your-own section of the store.
Aunt Maggie used her cane to walk from the back. “How are the pictures coming along?”
Grace glanced at her screen again. “Great. I have what I need for today’s upload to The Gram.” She looked up, meeting Aunt Maggie’s watchful gaze. “What?”
“You’re glowing, honey.”
She shrugged as she snagged her lip, trying to disguise her smile. “You know how much I love Wednesdays: buy one bundle, get one half off.”
Aunt Maggie laughed. “Is that what it is?”
Grace gave up, grinning. “I like a solid profit margin.”
Aunt Maggie chuckled again. “And here I thought it had something to do with you and Jagger being roommates again.”
All innocence, Grace settled her hand on her chest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Aunt Maggie sent her a knowing nod. “It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen that twinkle in your eyes.”
Grace’s grin returned because she’d seen the same twinkle reflecting at her in the mirror when she and Jagger had stepped out of the shower this morning. Initially, they’d decided to take things slow, but things had stayed fast and hot since Jason Gray’s phone call.
Jagger had gone to Todd’s for changes of clothes, but he’d fallen asleep with her in her bed the last four nights. It had been so long since life had been this good. “I’m happy.”
Aunt Maggie winked. “Good for you, sweetie.”
The door opened, and Jagger walked in, wearing his dobok and a pair of sneakers.
“Well, here’s a surprise,” Aunt Maggie said as she headed to sit on the stool behind the front counter. “It’s been four whole hours since we saw you last.”
Jagger grinned. “Hey, Aunt Mags.” He kissed Grace as he stopped in front of her. “Hey.”
Grace smiled. “Hey.”
“Do you have a second?”
Her smile dimmed as she studied the intensity of his gaze, sensing that something was up. “Sure.”
“We’ll be right back,” Jagger said to Aunt Maggie as he took Grace’s hand, pulling her down the hall to her office.
She closed the door behind them, setting her camera on the desk. “Jagger, what’s going on?”
He took her hands, kissing her again. “I have about fifteen minutes before I need to get back, but I want to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.”
“Jason called me again.”
Her stomach clenched with a sudden rush of nerves. But she forced herself to smile. “Another job offer?”
He nodded. “Freelancing—doing some risk assessment.”
And then her stomach sank because he hadn’t turned it down. “The same stuff you were doing?”
“Sort of.”
She pulled her hands free from his and turned to stare at the neatly stacked paperwork that needed her attention. She would not cry. She would not be selfish if this was what Jagger wanted. “So, you’re leaving.”
“No.” He tugged her around, capturing her hands again, squeezing. “I’m not.”
But her guard was up despite what he said. “I guess I don’t understand.”
“I’d be doing risk assessment, but I’d only work stateside.”
“It’s dangerous?”
He shook his head. “Basically, I’m troubleshooting. I’d travel to the destinations where Jason’s high-profile clients are slated to visit—look for potential security risks, make my reports and recommendations, then come home. I told Jason I needed to discuss this with you before I gave him any sort of commitment.”
“I remember Jason saying something about thirty days. You’ll be gone for a month at a time?”
Jagger shook his head again. “Three or four days a month. Five days, tops.”
Her shoulders relaxed because that didn’t sound so bad. “You don’t need my permission, Jagger.”
“I want your blessing. Jason’s talking about keeping me on retainer, but I thought I could try this one job first. I would have to go to DC for a couple of days. If it feels like a good fit, I might take another job next month.”
“Is this what you want?” But even as she asked, she could see the excitement in his eyes.
He puffed out a breath. “I never really considered it until Jason brought it up. But yeah. Maybe.”
“Then I want you to do it.”
He kissed her. “Do you remember that paycheck Jason mentioned for the South America job?”
Grace nodded.
“I can make fifty percent of that for a couple of days of work each month if he keeps me on retainer.”
Her eyes grew huge. “And you’re sure this isn’t dangerous?”
He shook his head. “I’ll be there and gone before the asset even arrives. I imagine there might be some trips where you could even come with me. I’ll do what I need to do, then we can take a couple of extra days for ourselves.”
She loved the idea of traveling with Jagger—their original dream. “That sounds like fun.”
“I think this could be good, but it has to be okay with you. This has to work for what we’re building.”
“I want you to do this. I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.”
“All the way happy—professionally fulfilled. That matters, Jagger.”
“This could be the best of both worlds. Lots of this.” He gestured to the two of them. “And a little of that. Plus, I can still work with Todd.”
