Eight Years Gone, page 13
Eager to comply with her greedy demands, he went after the snap on her jeans, impatient to get her naked—to sink himself deep into Grace. “You’re still on birth control?”
“Yes.” She went after his neck with her teeth and tongue. “You’ve been safe?”
He nodded, tugging on her zipper. “Condoms always. You?”
She didn’t respond as she pulled his shirt up and off, making him shiver as she slid her hands up his waist.
“Grace, you’ve been safe?” he asked again when she didn’t answer.
She avoided his gaze as her magic fingers moved to trace his pecs. “I haven’t been with anyone else.”
Shocked by her words, he stopped her movements, trapping her hands against his skin. “You haven’t been with anyone?”
She shook her head, finally looking at him. “There’s no one else I’ve wanted.”
Eight long years, and she’d wanted no one else. Sighing, he closed his eyes as he rested his forehead against hers.
“Grace,” he whispered, stroking her cheeks, kissing her tenderly.
Moments ago, he’d been eager to take her up fast—to satisfy them both quickly. But she’d changed everything with her confession.
Now, he would take his time. He would savor the woman he’d been certain he would never touch again.
There had always been two ways with Grace. Bringing her up slowly took time, but it was always worth the wait. Tonight, he wanted her undone when he finished them both.
She followed his slower pace, wrapping her arms around his waist, pressing her breasts against his chest.
“You’re so soft,” he murmured next to her ear as he trailed his fingers down her back. “I want you to remember what it’s like when I touch you everywhere.”
She moaned as he hooked his thumbs in her jeans, taking her panties with the denim as he tugged them to the floor.
She stepped out of the rest of her clothing, pulling at his snap before he eased her back to the mattress, following her to the center of the bed, settling himself on top of her for another deep kiss.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, savoring her body beneath his, trailing kisses down her neck, then her collarbones before he moved to her breasts, tracing her nipples with his tongue, then pulling her into his mouth.
Whimpering, she arched, playing her fingers through his hair.
“I want more,” he whispered, nipping and nibbling his way down to her hips as he settled himself between her thighs, taking his time as he spread her open.
Her breath caught, and he watched her snag her lip with her teeth as he traced her sensitive skin. Then he touched her with a gentle rub of the pad of his finger against her bud.
Gasping, her hands wandered through his hair again as his mouth went to work—as he teased his tongue against swollen skin already wet and slippery for him.
Her hips rocked as she whimpered and moaned, already close to the edge.
Not quite ready to finish her, he changed his rhythm, backing off with barely there strokes when he knew that wasn’t what made her fly.
She frowned. “Jagger, don’t tease.”
He pressed gentle kisses against her, heating her with his unsteady breaths. “I want you crazy.”
She tugged his head back to her. “Trust me. I’m crazy.”
He grinned, loving that Grace had never been shy in the sack. “Not yet, but you’re close.”
Getting back to work, he brought his hands up to play with her breasts, stroking her nipples as he lapped and suckled her in the way he knew she liked best.
“Jagger,” she whispered, cupping her hands over his, pressing his palms down as her thighs shook and her hips started moving in the jerking rhythm that told him she was ready. “I’m close,” she panted out.
He pulled his hand free, bringing it down, dipping two fingers inside.
She gasped, tensing, just about there.
Then he plunged into silky heat in the rhythm that always made her melt.
“Jagger,” she moaned, clutching at his ears as she tipped her head back while her body bucked and trembled.
He groaned as he kept his pace, taking her higher as she thrashed around, waiting as she came back down.
“Jagger,” she panted. “Jagger.”
“God, I need you,” he said as he unzipped his jeans, tugging at his pants and boxers, freeing his erection as he sent his clothes to join hers on the floor.
She stared up at him with pleasure-glazed eyes as he covered her body with his weight.
“Gracie,” he murmured, kissing her.
She kissed him back, gasping as he did when he pushed himself deep, invading her as he’d done so many times before.
But nothing had ever felt as good as it did tonight—their joining. He grabbed her leg, pushing it back so he hit her spot with each thrust.
She arched, clutching herself around him, clinging with her next trembling orgasm.
Lacing their fingers, he moved with her, staring into her eyes. “Are you going to come again?”
She nodded. “If you keep doing that.”
He sped up his movements. “So, like this?”
She whimpered, smiling as he did. “Just like that.”
His smile vanished as he felt his build—as Grace’s breathing changed again.
He moved faster yet—flesh slapping against flesh, savoring the sound of her loud moans joining his groans as they came together—as he finally filled her full after too many years.
Grace gasped for each breath as the heat from Jagger’s panting puffed against her neck.
Shutting her eyes, she breathed him in, savoring that his powerful body smooshed hers into the mattress—that he still lay nestled deep inside of her.
This was what peace felt like. This was what it felt like to be completely satisfied. Somewhere along the way, she’d forgotten.
He grunted before his lips tickled her skin with a gentle kiss. “You smell good—taste good, too.”
She grinned, holding him tighter. “Salty, I’m sure. I’m sweaty.”
Lifting his head, he pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “Perfect.”
Her smile was back as she stared into his eyes, using her fingers to wipe at the dewy drops forming on his forehead after he’d one hundred percent made her crazy. Jagger had always known what to do with her body. That hadn’t changed.
“Let’s do this,” he said, wrapping his arm around her as he rolled, keeping her on top of him.
She settled in, adjusting her arms on his chest like she had so many times before.
“Better?” he asked.
She shrugged. “The other way worked for me, but this isn’t half-bad either.”
He grinned. “I don’t have to worry about squishing you when we’re like this.” He played with the ends of her hair. “Any regrets?”
“Just one.”
He frowned. “What?”
“I feel a little guilty for using your injury to seduce you.”
His crooked grin was back as he laughed—another sound she hadn’t heard in so long.
“I’m all for a top-notch seductress.”
“At least we got you bandaged up first.”
He laughed again. “I like lying here with you like this.”
“I like it too.” She let her fingers trail along his skin, eager to explore. “Your body’s different. Tougher.”
“Keeping in shape—pushing myself—kept me busy.”
She stopped as she touched the marred skin on his once-perfect left pectoral.
He pressed his hand over hers before she could move it. “I didn’t want to do that.”
She shrugged, staring at his shoulder, not wanting it to matter that he’d so easily erased her from his life.
He gently tugged on her chin. “Will you look at me?”
She met his gaze, seeing the familiar regret.
“The tattoo was all I had left of you—your handwriting, your name.”
“What happened?”
“I burned it.”
She blinked her horror. “Why, Jagger? Why would you do that to yourself?”
“Because what I did was dangerous. More often than not, we were behind enemy lines, which meant we were on our own. If a mission went sideways and I would have gotten captured… If they ever would have found out who I was… I never wanted anything I was doing coming back on you. If I wanted to keep you safe, I had to let you go.”
She flinched at his words, blinking back tears as she tried to get up.
“Grace.” He locked his arms tightly around her, rolling her back under him.
She turned her head away, closing her eyes as her tears fell. “Jagger, get off.”
He gently trailed kisses along her jaw. “Not until you understand that there was nothing more important to me than keeping you safe.”
His mouth moved closer to her ear. “You haunted me, Gracie. Every minute of every day.”
She shook her head, not so sure she believed him. Because if she’d had any idea of where he’d been over the last eight years, she would have gone to him. She wouldn’t have been able to stop herself.
“Every minute,” he repeated.
She looked at him now. “You moved on.”
It was his turn to shake his head as he brushed the dampness off her skin. “I knew the minute I came stateside I would come find you. After I saw you in the park, I couldn’t stay away.”
“But you’ve had other partners. You’ve had other relationships.”
“Sometimes sex is just sex—a release.”
Was that supposed to make his moving on sting any less?
“I had one partner—a friends-with-benefits situation for a couple of years. Jana. We were in somewhat similar situations. She’d left a guy behind when she joined up, so we chose to be miserable together. She got out right around the same time I did. She came home. I went into private contracting. From what I hear, they got married last year. I think they’re expecting a baby.”
Grace swallowed, not so sure that she wanted to hear about Jagger’s friend-with-benefits arrangement. “Let’s get up—eat something.”
Jagger pushed her deeper into the mattress. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
She lifted her chin, narrowing her eyes, hating that she was trapped. “I think this isn’t fair—you using your body weight to keep me here like this.”
He nodded. “I’m willing to risk dirty tactics because I know that if I let you go, this conversation will be over. Tell me what you’re thinking, Grace.”
Not all that long ago, he already would have known. But that wasn’t the way things were anymore. “All right. I don’t like your buddy. I don’t like any of it. You burned your skin, picked a new partner, and turned the page.”
His brow furrowed. “I didn’t walk away and brush off my hands. Nothing about being away from you has been easy. I could barely stand the idea of you moving on—of anyone else touching you.”
He cupped her face between his hands. “I’m sorry, Grace. I’m sorry for so many things—for messing everything up.”
She sighed because being angry and jealous changed nothing. She still felt what she felt, but it helped no one. “You were trying to make a new life. We both were.”
He stroked her skin. “You’ve made something amazing for yourself. Simplicity is so streamlined, and your house is beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She covered his hand with hers. “I needed this place—this project. I wanted something that was entirely my own. I bought it three years ago. My mom left money for Logan and me that I never knew about. We were supposed to be granted access to it on our twenty-fifth birthdays. I didn’t want to spend it at first. It felt wrong—like what was meant for Logan shouldn’t be mine.”
Jagger nodded his understanding.
“I was so torn until Aunt Maggie asked me what she thought my mom and Logan would want. I know they would want me to be happy, so I dove into making this place. Everything had to be completely redone.”
His gaze traveled around the room. “It has a good feel to it—comfortable and cozy. Really homey.”
She smiled. “That was the goal.” She looked toward the French doors. “You’ll have to take a look at the back when the sun comes up. Getting the yard into shape was a project. I made a space for them—for Mom and Logan. I rarely go to Philly where they’re buried, so I like to have a spot for them right here where I can sit and remember them.”
“That’s really nice, Grace.”
“Thank you.”
He settled his forehead against hers. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this—all of it. Everything.”
She sighed, sliding her fingers through his hair. “Me, too.”
He brushed his lips against hers, keeping the kiss gentle as his tongue sought hers. “I want to be with you again,” he whispered.
She opened for him, welcoming him, sighing her pleasure—her contentment—as she held his gaze, slowly moving with him.
Fourteen
Jagger gripped the blanket around his naked shoulders as he sat on the pretty wooden bench in Grace’s backyard.
The moon glowed brightly, illuminating dozens of fall flowers and a growing oak tree.
He shook his head, staring down at the blue jeans he’d pulled on before he headed outside, unable to find the peace the beautiful space was meant to provide.
He’d been restless since Grace fell asleep wrapped up in his arms. Holding her close was everything he’d wanted and needed since the moment he walked away, yet he hadn’t been able to shut off his thoughts.
Everything Grace had said by the water—the pain in her voice and her endless tears—still made him clench his jaw. But as he glanced at the flowers again, heart-sickening memories flashed through his mind, shaking him to his core.
He’d found ways to block them out for long stretches—to keep his life compartmentalized. But not tonight. Logan’s gory wound and the blood. There had been so damn much.
Over the last eight years, he’d seen his fair share of horrible things, but nothing would ever be as bad as watching his best friend die.
He should have called for the ambulance. He should have driven faster to the hospital. But what ate at him the most was that he never got a chance to tell Logan goodbye. He’d been too busy fighting to save his life.
But even before that, their last real conversation had been angry words spewed back and forth. Neither of them had had a chance to apologize—to take them back.
Jagger hurried after Logan as he stormed out of the mansion, heading for his Porsche. “Get back here, you selfish bastard.”
Logan whirled. “Fuck you.”
Jagger continued walking Logan’s way but stopped a few feet from his friend’s car, afraid that if he moved any closer, he’d punch him. “What the hell is up with you yelling at her—with making her cry? That seems to be all you do these days.”
“Grace is fine. She has you, doesn’t she?”
Jagger steamed out a breath, staring at a man he hardly recognized anymore. Logan’s clean-cut good looks had gone to hell. His too-long, greasy blond hair needed shampoo and a pair of scissors, and his typically muscular build needed a solid fifteen pounds. “Look at you, man. I don’t know how to help you anymore.”
“I don’t want your help. When are you and Grace going to get that?”
“Just when you need your ass bailed out of jail, right? Was last night the third or fourth time? It’s getting hard to keep up.”
“Grace can afford it. She’s still helping herself to Dad’s pot of money.”
“You used to help yourself to the same pot. You’re the one who got yourself cut off. He warned you several times. He gave you more than enough chances.” For some reason, Logan always seemed to forget that part.
“Am I actually hearing this? Now you’re defending my father?”
Jagger shook his head as he turned away.
“You stole my life, man.”
Jagger whirled back. “What?”
“The golden boy, Jagger Tennyson. The guy from the wrong side of the tracks makes good. Perfect grades and even better looks. The fucking athleticism.”
Logan laughed harshly. “You even stole my sister. She loves you more than she’s ever loved me. Tell me, Jagger, do you have any flaws?”
This version of Logan was pathetic. “You could have everything I do. Natalie was crazy about you until you fucked everything up. And that’s the problem. You love your pills, booze, and whatever the hell else you’re on more than you love anything else.”
Logan gave him the finger.
Jagger shook his head again, no longer interested in concealing his disgust. He wanted off the Logan Evan’s roller-coaster ride. “Call me when you’re ready to clean yourself up. Otherwise, keep your bullshit away from Grace. You break her heart whenever she has to see you like this.”
Logan covered his heart as he batted his lashes. “The knight in shining armor.”
He kept his temper in check, even as Logan continued to bait him. “If that’s what it takes.”
“If being Grace’s protector ever gets old, your brother wouldn’t mind a shot at that.”
And then Jagger saw red as he rushed forward. “You fucker.”
His fist was in Logan’s face, knocking him to the ground with the force of the blow. Before Logan could recover and put up any sort of block, Jagger was on top of him, plowing his knuckles into Logan’s cheekbone.
Logan groaned as more bruising bloomed.
Jagger reined himself in, yanking up on Logan’s collar. “Never, ever talk about Grace to my brother, you pathetic piece of shit.”
He gave him a shake. “You might be playing it all badass these days, but let’s not forget which one of us is actually from the streets.”
He moved his face closer to Logan’s. “If you ever bring any of those disgusting pieces of slime around here when Grace is home, I will end you. I promise I’ll end you. Stay away from me, man. Stay away from your sister.”
Jagger gained his feet, leaving Logan where he’d dropped him, eager to help Grace pack and head up to Preston Valley.
He’d be damned if they weren’t going to enjoy the last few days of summer before they had to get back to Syracuse.
