Queering the Tarot, page 15
THE EIGHT OF PENTACLES
It makes sense that the Eight of Pentacles, a card of literal or metaphorical apprenticeship or scholarship, follows the Seven of Pentacles. If the Seven is where we are called to plant our own seeds or right our life's wrongs, then the Eight is where we learn how to do that. This is where we find our own groove and become comfortable doing the work of running our own life. No one expects you to be a master gardener overnight, but they do expect you to do the work of the Eight of Pentacles: the work of learning, studying, and trying. This card is fun when it shows up in readings, because I've seen it be this deeper, all-encompassing message . . . and I've also seen it mean it was time to take up a new career by studying under someone or going back to school.
In the mundane, LGBTQQIP2SA+ seekers are probably thinking about going back to college or a vocational program for nonprofit work or community building, and this card is showing up as a good omen for that course. It could show up for someone who wants to learn how to do necessary work in their community but who needs a mentor or advisor first. Many queer seekers go into their schooling or adult life not sure who they are and not sure what life truly holds for them. The Eight is definitively a next-step card, but can often lead us to a calling we didn't know we had. It's important to spend some time navigating the waters after you first come out, working to simply find your footing. Once we've done that for a while, our place in our community often becomes crystal clear. That's when this Eight shows up to encourage us to gather the tools we need to build the resource or skill set our queer community needs from us.
In terms of learning and teaching, this card can also indicate taking a kink path—particularly where BDSM is concerned. It's not responsible nor realistic to assume you can wake up and just be a dom(me) or a sub. Most who commit to that spend some time getting to know the community as well as reading books about sex education and healthy expressions of kink. The same is true for those breaking into polyamory for the first time. This you could potentially pick up and just do, but it takes a while to learn how you are polyam. Do you want a primary partner? Do you believe in closing off your relationships at all? Do you know what your cap for how many people you can date or sleep with at once is? Even if you know in your soul that you are a polyamorous person, you probably can't answer these questions without spending some time learning and figuring it out. Some people need time just to fully understand what they like and don't like sexually as a trans person or person who enjoys sex with the same gender or sex. Bodies are weird, regardless, and those of us who are queer are more likely to take our time getting to know ours. That's a good thing, and this Eight of Pentacles shows up to let us know we can take our time and will end up much happier and more satisfied for it.
Outside of the bedroom, there is also a lot to learn about queer community—where to go, where to eat, where to see shows. The number of things to learn grows exponentially when you look into activism and community building, which we talked about earlier on. Certainly queer people are not obligated to become activists or community builders. It is more common than not if you hang around long enough, though, especially in smaller cities where there is no community to find, and so it must be built. The Eight of Pentacles encourages you to find your way in time, or perhaps bring in an unofficial mentor. Chosen family in queer community traditionally shows up when young LGBTQQIP2SA+ kids are looking for someone who can show them the ropes of being out. We see it in the formation of families in ball culture, for example, but it's something we all look for and create at some point.
The biggest way this card does manifest in our queer lives is when we are learning to pave our own way. All of the hard lessons of the Seven and needing to pull ourselves up and create something out of nothing begin to resolve in this Eight, though not as effortlessly as we would like. It is a hard, gradual learning process, but in the end we move ahead to the next card. First, though, we land here, in a place of apprenticeship, and the question to ask ourselves is not what we want to learn, but who we want to be after we learn it. That is where the real growth happens, and what the Eight has been trying to dig into all along.
THE NINE OF PENTACLES
A card of luxury, the Nine of Pentacles shows us rising to a prosperous state and offers us a chance to look around, smell the roses, and be grateful. This is one of my favorite cards in the deck, as I always need a reminder that “Hey, things are pretty good. Maybe be glad about it.” This Nine of Pentacles, like all of our cards of joy in the tarot, is hard won. We planted the seeds in the Seven, we learned how to weed and nourish them in the Eight, and now everything is blooming beautifully. Our job now is to sit back and enjoy the foliage.
“Sit back and enjoy the foliage” is a message a lot of my queer clients struggle with most. For some reason, marginalized people have no problem being told that their road ahead is long and full of strife. They have no problem being told that it's time to go deep into their trauma to recover from it. I get little pushback from asking those seekers to do more work or dig deeper. Yet when I say, “Hey, look how much work you've done! Great job! Now, rest,” I get, at best, blank faces staring back at me. At worst, I end up trying to convince the client that time off is good and that they deserve comfort. I get it. I struggle with this too. There is always something that needs doing in my career, in this community project I'm a part of, for my friends, for that queer kid who found my theatre company and wants help getting started in their career. At any given moment, I can list ten things that need to be done in each of these areas with little thought or prompting. I know that most of you reading this can relate. When we talked about the Ten of Wands we talked about activist burnout, and ignoring this card is one of the reasons we get there. We all work very, very hard in the queer community—all of us. Which means we all deserve time to recognize when that work is paying off, which means we all need to admire what we've built sometimes. You started with nothing. That was the lesson of the Seven. Now, here you are, two short cards later, with a thriving end result. You did this. That's beautiful. You are beautiful.
THE TEN OF PENTACLES
Tens are cards of transformation, and wow, do we earn it with Pentacles. We saw ourselves go from the Seven (or the One, depending on how you're recounting this narrative), and we built something solid, strong, and beautiful for ourselves and our loved ones. Traditionally, this Ten is a card of family legacies and inheritances. It has a masculine energy I've often struggled with. In a standard deck or reading, we're looking at a patriarch facing his end of days and deciding who will receive all of his money or land after he's gone. Obviously this doesn't resonate with me, though it is a beautiful message for the many businesspeople who see me about changes to their career or additions to their family. We see grandchildren in this card, and an extremely comfortable amount of material success. It's a good card, but it's one whose values I don't necessarily share.
When queering this card though, we go back through everything we've talked about: community, chosen family, and a life we built out of weeds and rubble. That is a beautiful story. That is transformation in its truest sense, and when this card comes up for queer movers and shakers, it promises that everything they're trying to build—whatever it is—will thrive long after they're gone. One thing the weirdo teen goth wannabe in me has always loved about this card is its comfortable and easy relationship with death. We may be nearing the end of a cycle here, and that may even be a physical life cycle, and yet we are promised joy, love, and that those who carry our name will carry out our legacy when we're gone. In the queer community that may not be kids or grandkids (It may be! Many queer people have otherwise traditional families and that's beautiful and wonderful too!), but it may be people whom we are in community with, whom we create art projects and build shelters with, whom we claim as family because of how we feel in our hearts and let that love thrive there.
An example of this card in action is the United States' current nationwide policy allowing for marriage equality. In the ‘80s in New York and all across the states, the AIDS epidemic wiped out entire generations due to homophobia, miseducation, and the way those things manifested in inadequate medical care. To add insult to very deep injury, many gay men were told their partners could not see them in the hospital as they lay dying because they weren't married. They weren't allowed to be married, but that didn't matter to those barring them from entry. Decades later, after the fight the surviving spouses and victims of AIDS started in earnest in the ‘80s, marriage equality was finally passed in the United States. These losses to our community and the lack of elders in major cities was, and is, a devastating blow to who we are as queer people. Yet their legacy lives on every time an LGBTQQIP2SA+ couple says, “I do.” Furthermore, this is legislation that has paved the way for the fights we're seeing now. Because most of the United States sees these relationships as legally equitable, they are starting to see queer people as equitable. People are fighting en masse against transphobic bathroom bills and starting to realize the depth of the hurt from laws allowing LGBTQQIP2SA+ people to be fired or evicted simply for being themselves. This is the legacy those who fought in Stonewall left us with, and it's the legacy those who died of AIDS during that epidemic left us with. It was despicable the way we were treated—but those affected used their voice to ensure we wouldn't have to keep going through the same fights and indignities.
In the personal, it's crucial to remember that existing as a queer person is resistance in and of itself. The Pentacles remind us how much work goes into that seemingly basic act of resistance. We not only have to survive as queer people, but also to survive capitalism and all of the other oppressing factors that are not kind to marginalized people. Those of us who are POC or disabled still have to pick up our gardening shears and get to work in the Seven. The Ten promises us though that through taking the rest of the suit's advice, we do reach a point where the bare living in our lives is enough. It's enough resistance to inspire someone, it's enough perseverance to thrive, and it's more than enough to leave to your community when you go.
5
THE SUIT OF CUPS
We are ending our Queering the Tarot journey on my absolute favorite suit. I am a Pisces with a Pisces Moon and a Cancer rising, so this watery, emotional suit full of love, heartache, and, ultimately, complete emotional fulfillment serves as the basis of everything I do in my life. A lot of tarot readers pen this suit into being about romantic love and relationships, and there's definitely support for that in the suit itself. This suit is Water energy, and that does bring romance into our house. That means romantic and sexual love, but it also means close friendship and family ties that we benefit from and adore having. Water and emotions are about so much more, though. This is a suit that inspires and pushes us toward emotional healing. The Cups want us to be truly open with our hearts, but for most of us, that means recovering from all of the curveballs life has thrown at us. This is also a suit that pushes us to find whatever it is that's going to make us feel emotionally fulfilled. It's not just lovers and fiancés that pull Cups cards—it's career artists, those who love to travel, and anyone seeking pieces of their soul.
As we queer this suit, some of it will be fairly straightforward. We'll look at nontraditional family structures, including polyamorous families. We'll look at queer love and all of the beauty that can bring. We'll also look at how our healing processes may differ or be stalled compared to our straight and cisgender friends' and families'. The Cups speak beautifully to the fluidity many people experience in their sexual and gender identities, promising that all sides and phases of us can be loved and feel complete. This section may read more like a love song to the suit itself than a tarot book; I love Cups, and Cups love us.
THE ACE, TWO, AND THREE OF CUPS
Our first mini-narrative of the Cups suit is right at the beginning. The Ace brings news. That can mean opportunity for new love, news from a loved one, or insight that leads us to a period of emotional healing. While this Ace usually bears joyful news like a new crush returning our feelings, it can occasionally bear hard news or critical looks at ourselves that usher in that time of reflection and healing. I needed to be bailed out of a situation financially a couple of years ago. Someone important to me stepped up, and we began working toward healing a lifetime of misunderstandings and complicated emotions. That unexpected financial trouble, while real, ended up being exactly the Ace of Cups we needed. Where that takes us to is the Two of Cups.
Twos are about balance and duality, and that is especially clear in the Cups. This card is often used to indicate a relationship that is right; it's balanced, it's romantic, and this person likely could be your other half. Beyond that though, this signals finding balance while recovering from emotional trauma or burnout. Here we see you've bounced back and are falling in love with life all over again. This likely means you've found your emotional center even if it feels like everything is falling apart. Then there's the Three of Cups. This beauty shows a time of celebration, joy, and triumph. This traditionally means marriages, promotions, and babies, but as we look deeper we also see taking pride in our emotional growth. We see that you've gone from the quiet balance of the Two to the greater happiness and joy of the Three that allows you to socialize and celebrate as if you were never hurt at all. This quick narrative is absolutely lovely whether we're talking about bouncing back from a breakup, finding happiness for the first time, or starting new relationships or ventures.
Queering these first few Cups doesn't diminish the sense of joy and triumph they bring. If anything, it increases them. So far in Queering the Tarot we've talked a lot about how much LGBTQQIP2SA+ people often have to overcome before they can start trusting themselves and their intuition. That's true of our hearts too, and Cups definitely want us to listen to our hearts. In the Ace of Cups, we see a piece of news, insight, or an opportunity that allows queer people to follow their desire and forge a path ahead based purely on what they want. That's powerful. It's even more powerful when we see it pay off in this Two and Three. First we see that following our queer little hearts to their bliss leads us to a delightful, joyful place of balance where we are content and able to focus on what we want. I know many LGBTQQIP2SA+ people who fell into the gap of trying to please parents, teachers, or classmates. They were either trying to hide or to make up for their queerness. Their own heart's desires got lost then, until that Ace showed up. The Two brings those two halves of us together: the half that seeks approval, and the half that needs to go after what we want. We really can have both of those things. We just need to believe it. That takes us to the Three of Cups, which heralds a time of celebration. Celebration can certainly mean a party, a girl's night, or a happy hour with friends. It can also mean taking a deep breath, looking at your life and all of the happiness that Ace brought you, and being content.
The theme of family runs rampant through the suit of Cups. The arc of the Ace through the Three of Cups mirrors the roller coaster those queer seekers without a supportive given family go through when they find friends, partners, or other forms of chosen family. The Ace brings those people into our lives. What we find after nurturing those relationships (and moving on to the Two of Cups) is sometimes new and astounding for us though—the love and spirit we have been giving to these people is reciprocated fully. We are and feel safe, supported, and loved. For some of us, this will be the first time we've experienced that. This card is so wonderful for those seekers who don't have the support of their given family, or who were shunned by classmates for being different. It's also important for those of us who form intense bonds over shared queerness. Even if your given family and classmates have been great, finding someone or several someones who went through the same experiences you did is life changing. It is these life-changing friendships or romantic partnerships that the Two promises.
What to do with that, then? Celebrate it! If you're getting the Three of Cups in a lot of your readings now that you've fallen in with a really great group of close friends or family, this card is very likely calling you to organize a get-together just to say, “Thanks,” or, “Yay, us,” or, “Hey, happy Tuesday! Love you!” Of course, celebrating doesn't always mean going wild. It could even be calling or sending thank-you cards to the people who have been supporting you emotionally, or just lighting a candle and thanking the Universe for bringing those people into your lives. The important thing is recognizing that your heart is safe now, wherever you are keeping it, and whomever you are keeping it with.
THE FOUR OF CUPS
Of course, coming off of the Three of Cups we want things to be beautiful and picturesque and perfect forever. Life is still life though, and that's why the Four of Cups comes next. This card shows up because even when we are living bold, powerful lives, our mood still swings downward. In this card, we seem to have everything we want, and yet we remain apathetic and disconnected. This card shows up a lot for people who struggle with depression or who are overcoming trauma. It's a common hope that if we just get our lives together, if we stock our days with the right people, the right jobs, the right habits, everything will be perfect from then on. So it's shocking when we do the work, hit a bunch of successes and then feel . . . nothing, at best. In my years (and years) of experience, I've seen this come up for people who took paths that weren't honoring their own wishes. They went to the college their dad went to and started working at the family business, or they married someone they thought they loved and built a life that was never meant to be theirs. Things happen. Beating yourself up about making those decisions is not your best decision right now and will only stoke the beige flames of ennui even more.
