Queering the Tarot, page 11
You do not want that beautiful Wands fire to turn into rage, and you do not want it to sizzle out completely. There are times that require action (like the Eight of Wands), and times that do not. Now your job is not to act. It is to feel your pain fully, to give in to your exhaustion, and to take even a few moments or (preferably) days to rest your weary, broken heart. It is in that rest that the fire reignites, and we can cycle back around to the beginning of this suit. If Wands are about fire and action and Tens are about transformation, we have to remember that the transformation at the end of a fiery run is born out of ashes, not new fires. Many think of the Wands suit, especially at the end, as a wildfire, and that metaphor certainly has merit. But it can also be likened to the Phoenix, and if you want to rise again and cycle back to that Ace, you have to sink fully into the ashes of defeat first.
3
THE SUIT OF SWORDS
The Swords are our suit of logic, mental clarity, and intellect, but these cards often bring sudden bad news. The Swords' purpose is to force us to cut away the things in our life that aren't working (even if we really, really like those things), so we can continue growing instead of standing still. The Swords do not always bring us what we want, but they do get us what we need. This is the suit that corresponds with Air, so it is a suit of swift-moving action, where clear thought and precise actions are needed to reach our goals.
As we queer the Swords, one of the big things I want to look at is how mental illness, sobriety, and identity intersect in the LGBTQQIP2SA+ community. Because this suit can indicate mental illness for anyone, ignoring that life on the margins causes unique manifestations of mental illness or that medical care for queer people is disgustingly inadequate in a lot of places would be ridiculous and irresponsible. The queer community has a long history of alcoholism that many believe stems from the fact that we used to be able to meet other queer people only in illicit and underground bars. The queer community has an even longer history of being denied adequate mental health and medical care. Our needs are not the same as someone who has no experience with queerness. There's a specific psychology and specific sexual health education that all queer people need that I have yet to find a satisfying version of. There are certainly transgender-specific health care needs, and while there are doctors who specialize in this, they are few. It is still too difficult and too rare for a trans person to be able to access the help they need. That means any mental illness or addiction that creeps in goes untreated indefinitely, creating very unique-to-our-community manifestations of the Swords cards.
Beyond health, mental health, and addiction, bigger issues of justice also prevail in the Sword cards. This suit is very invested in right and wrong, moving forward or staying stuck, and what our spiritual self wants versus our Earthbound self. Because the word and concept of justice are such a tense topic in the LGBTQQIP2SA+ (and really any marginalized) community, and because by nature the Swords suit is more negative, many of the cards represent hard decisions where we lose no matter what we choose and often show events or people that are negative or hurtful. However, the Swords suit often calls you to pick up the sword and fight for your version of justice. This often means with actual fighting, and though that's often best left to the Wands suit, here it frequently means with words and cunning instead. The Swords also represent intellect and writing, and even my least spiritual clients often connect well to this suit's straightforward news and insights.
THE ACE OF SWORDS
The Ace of Swords usually brings swift, sudden news that can anger you or break your heart, and it's not news my clients like to receive. This is one of the cards that shows up if we're expecting illness or injury, and it's one that can predict heartbreak with pretty good accuracy. It does have some positive incarnations though. Swords are a logical suit, and frequently a sudden, brash insight will rock our world in the best way possible. This is news that cuts away things we've wanted to be rid of, or suddenly reveals how to solve that pesky problem that's been nagging us for months. The tarot almost always wants to push you to your highest and best self, and this card's ultimate purpose is to remove the things that are unnecessary in your life. So, while many times this is a maligned card, even the unexpected bad news is meant to rid us of whatever prevents us from being our best selves. You may have loved that partner, but they weren't right for you. The loss in your family might be great, but the person was sick for a while and was ready to go. These may be hard realities to face, but they ultimately lead us to where we need to go.
One of the first ways we queer this Ace is simply by taking all of that into account and applying it explicitly to queer people. I have seen this card manifest for me, personally, as warning that a depressive spell, panic attack, or other signifier of mental illness is imminent. This has also been true for LGBTQQIP2SA+ seekers living in sobriety, although in this case it can indicate an actual relapse or desire for one on the horizon. This is another way that queering the tarot does deconstruct it a bit. Obviously these things are not meant to lead us to our higher self. They are battles that we face regularly, though, and this Ace shows up almost daring us to let this side of ourselves win. The bad news is not meant to help us grow, but the way we fight against these relapses is.
The flip side of this iteration of the Ace is for those who have been struggling with mental illness or who know their drinking or drug use is becoming a problem. In these cases, the Ace of Swords promises a breakthrough—an ability to quit, a change in mood for the better, or a life-changing moment in therapy, for example. There can also be and often is a sense of victory in this card, and for LGBTQQIP2SA+ querents, that breakthrough usually comes with a promise that the resources and community you need to navigate your addiction or mental illness are right at your fingertips. So many people don't get sober because they don't know of a queer sober community near them, or because they don't know where to seek treatment in a place that won't other or misgender them. With the Ace, the need to prioritize your health looms large, but it's followed by the promise that there is a queer rehab center or Narcotics Anonymous group near you.
The Ace of Swords as the bearer of bad news can be especially cruel to LGBTQQIP2SA+ querents. I never rule out someone outing a seeker without permission or someone being confronted or treated with hostility because of their identity when this card shows up. There are experiences you can't understand unless you yourself are queer, and the callousness of someone outing us without permission and putting us in danger is one of them. That is a very real manifestation of this Ace, and I don't want to spin or belittle that.
However, when we think about queering the tarot, we think about subversion. While this card is always hard, it could be telling you to take matters into your own hands. This could be a clear message that now is the time for you to deliver news about your identity, transition, or life to others who may not want to hear it. While there are always repercussions, oftentimes tragic ones, if the Ace shows up to push you this way, it's because, quite simply, it's your time to do so. If it gets to this point, you've probably been waiting too long and fate (or whatever your concept of that is) is about to intervene if you don't take action yourself. Often we are asked to wield the sword, deliver the hard blow, and whatever falls away as a result needed to so that you can walk through life as your fabulous queer self unencumbered by the burden of secrets or those who will refuse to love you as a result of them. It is a hard card because it cuts away the strings that keep us tied, but it is a necessary card because (unlike some other Swords we'll explore in a bit) this card shows this is not the time for us to be bound.
Tied to this idea, I've also seen the Ace of Swords show up for transgender clients who are thinking about gender-affirming surgeries. In this case the idea of cutting away the unnecessary becomes very literal, and the message that it's time can come as a welcome relief even if there are a lot of logistics to figure out. Swords cards love logistics even when we don't. In these cases, this card is a promise that it's time to take that leap and that you'll be thrilled with the results if you do. You'll feel free from a life you've been trying to kill off for a long time. This suit does correspond with Air, and with that come images of birds flying and butterflies transforming, and I can think of no better message to leave any client with, but especially one who has been facing gender dysphoria and external oppression at every turn.
Then there's the saucier side of the Ace of Swords. This card has a very dominant energy that can be applied sexually, especially regarding BDSM or other kink. An optional interpretation if you're reading for a querent who's strongly kink-identified is a quick note from the cards that it's time to escalate your play or learn a new format for training and punishment. I've seen this card literally manifest as knife play, for example, but often it's just time to learn to tie some new knots or implement a new tool for impact play. In any case, taking action and control over your sex life is an incredibly mood-shifting idea for most LGBTQQIP2SA+ people who grew up in repressed households, which, quite frankly, was most of us. This Sword wants you to grab it, and be safe, but jump into, ahem, action expressing your queer self carnally. As such it can cut away the ties to monogamy that don't fit many of us, as well as push us toward kink. If you're reading about your sex life, the bottom line is this: take control.
The queerly dominant energy of the Ace of Swords goes back to the idea that you are being called on to bear news others may perceive as bad—breaking up with a partner that loves you, coming out in a space where others will respond poorly, or being your own sword-bearer and going to rehab or into therapy. It's a card that cuts away what isn't working in your life, and what doesn't suit most LGBTQQIP2SA+ seekers is letting someone or something else call the shots in our life, whether that something is alcohol or drugs, our assigned bodies, or whatever else is holding us back. What I stated above stands for LGBTQQIP2SA+ querents regardless—when the Ace of Swords shows up, it's time for you to take control. It might show up as bad news or be heavy with the weight of other people's expectations, but that's not for you to focus on. You are fully equipped to pick up this Sword and forge a clear path to your highest, queerest, sexiest self, and the Ace of Swords wants to see you through until the very end.
THE TWO, THREE, AND FOUR OF SWORDS
The Two, Three, and Four of Swords make more sense if we queer them as a group and look at the narrative, similar to the approach we took with the Wands. While these three cards are thematically opposed, there's a clear message of mental clarity, heartbreak, and fallout in them. We start with the Two of Swords, a card that most often shows up in times of indecision due to the gravity of the choice at hand, or for situations where we've exhausted our options and are at a stalemate. In either case, our judgment becomes clouded and we feel blind to options and ways out. I have a deck that has colored how I see this card, where the Two regularly indicates that you know exactly what you're meant to do now, but doing so requires a leap of faith and insists that you not use that famous Swords logic to its full extent.
This card interestingly gives way to the Three of Swords, one of the most feared but important cards in the deck. Its most commonly used keyword is simply heartbreak. As this card follows the Two, I often see it as the result of what happens when you take a leap of faith. Either you're called to take the leap and it doesn't work out, or taking the leap requires sacrifices and emotional processing you didn't expect. Alternatively, if the Two means we're at a stalemate in a relationship or business situation, the Three sees us leaving that in a way that is devastating, even if it is for the best. This leads us to the Four of Swords, a card of rest, meditation, and recuperation. After the action-packed time that the Two leads us into and the emotional exhaustion of the Three, the Four calls us to take care of ourselves, putting our bodies at rest and clearing our minds for a bit.
As an LGBTQQIP2SA+ person, this mini-suit within the Swords suit often tells a very frank coming out story. If we look at coming out as something that is not straight and cisgender, we start with feeling trapped in the decision of whether to do so or not. At some point our own logic and perspective become cloudy like they do in that Two. Eventually though, most of us have to make the decision to come out. That can, unfortunately, also lead to the sadness and despair of the Three. There are many cards you can throw down and see the coming out process, but the Three of Swords is one of the only cards that straightforwardly reminds us that sometimes we really do lose family and friends as part of that process. The response to that is the Four: time to rest and prioritize caring for ourselves since we are seemingly on our own in this next phase.
This same line of narrative can be applied to transgender people who are contemplating or beginning transitioning. There's the Two's indecision and lack of clarity—although in this case, that lack of clarity is often rooted in actual lack of knowledge on where to go for hormones, surgery, or undergarments. Frequently, though, it comes from not being sure when the right time to transition is, or wondering if the time will ever feel right. When the Two comes up, its third-party insight is likely meant to urge the querent forward in their transition. Once the trans querent has worked through the Two, we come to the Three. In this case though, the Swords can also be a metaphor for gender-affirming surgery or “going under the knife” for trans people. I've had a couple of clients that, when faced with a lot of Swords cards, made jokes like “Guess surgery's looking good?” and that is often the case with the Three. Heartbreak can be a metaphor for anything that's removed from our lives, and certainly surgical transition is not without its heartbreaks and sadnesses along the way. In both of these examples, the Four shows up to remind us that our bodies and our minds are incredibly important, even when we're more concerned with our hearts. So after all of that pain, get some sleep! Take introvert time, or hot showers, or whatever you need to feel rested up. For those who are spiritually inclined, meditation is key here. If you're not spiritually inclined, finding a way to clear your mind instead of letting that negative fallout fester is crucial. Even if a trans person opts out of surgical transition (which many do), the transition process includes getting rid of pieces of the closeted version of yourself, be that clothes or even photos from your upbringing.
As the Swords can indicate concerns with mental health, and the LGBTQQIP2SA+ community deals with disproportionate amounts of mental illness, I would be remiss to not explore the Two through Four of Swords from a mental health standpoint. The Two of Swords indicates a time when we can't find our way back to center or to balance. It indicates not being able to make decisions or see clearly in a way that rings very true for those of us who struggle with anxiety. In this case, getting someone else's perspective or taking time to clear one's mind may not be the most helpful advice for a querent. Though this card often requires leaping first and looking later, if it's showing up in a placement or a way that screams “behavior” and not “advice,” you're likely looking at someone who struggles with manic episodes common in bipolar disorder. In those situations, the guidance you'd see from a tarot reader should be very different and should caution one away from actually taking leaps of faith right now. The Three of Swords, however, is frequently a clear indication of severe depression cycling back to a very dark state. You can look at the Two and Three of Swords cards together and see a bipolar querent. You can look at them separately and see anxiety in the Two and depression in the Three. In either case, it's critical to remember that the seeker cannot control those cycles or those highs and lows. The cards can serve as very effective warnings to the seeker to look out for relapse, and can provide the reader more information about the very real obstacles facing the seeker. However, tarot readers are not therapists, and the advice that comes with these cards should include traditional approaches like therapy and medication to deal with these swings. The Swords deal with anything logical and analytical, and that does include traditional medicine. The Four of Swords largely encourages the querent to get back to resting and making time for themselves, although it can also indicate the exhaustion and burnout that living with mental illness can bring. That advice doesn't change, though: Rest. Clear your mind. Trust yourself.
Once we see how the Two, Three, and Four of Swords work together to take us from decision to heartbreak to rest, we can apply them to a number of other situations in a queer person's life. LGBTQQIP2SA+ relationships are a little bit more intense emotionally, both because our dating pool is thinner, and because we spend so long in the closet not honoring our emotions that there is a very real, valid need to pamper them a little bit extra when out. As such, this narrative applies to starting new queer relationships, ending those relationships, or joining queer-led social groups. The Two pushes us to do so, and then we're left more than a little hurt and surprised when it leads to that Three. It's important to remember that the heartbreak of the Three of Swords does not always come in the way we think it will. Sometimes relationships don't work out—but very often in the LGBTQQIP2SA+ community they do, yet it's a whole new level of hurt and oppression from other people that faces us once we're dating someone (or a number of someones). While this is primarily true for those whose sexual identity is queer, for transgender people it is still not uncommon for a close friend or family member to be accepting until they see you dating someone they don't expect.
A specialty of mine is reading tarot for healing purposes, particularly for those dealing with the aftermath of trauma. This line of work, like my identity-based tarot readings, attracts primarily LGBTQQIP2SA+ querents. There are a number of reasons for this, starting with the societal trauma of being othered in the first place, and reaching into the deeply personal. There is often a lack of resources specifically for or related to queer people who have been traumatized, and there's very often a concern about what society at large will think if word of abusive LGBTQQIP2SA+ people gets out. In these cases, pulling any one of these cards tells me more about where the querent is in terms of their own healing. Often with the Two, they are contemplating treatment, speaking out, or debating other common methods of healing. Their vision is compromised because of societal pressure, and because they have, quite frankly, probably never seen representation of lesbians being sexually assaulted, trans people being attacked, or dominant BDSM partners being abusive, which means they have no idea what to do or where to go for help. They don't know if speaking out will do any good. They have no idea what their next move should be.
