Broken, page 15
And now...
Now she was watching the clock, waiting for the hands to move, waiting for the knock to never come.
No. He wouldn’t abandon her, not now.
That is what she’d thought then, too, when she’d naively wrapped herself up in all things Lorenzo so tight that she couldn’t see what was happening right before her very eyes.
***
Lorenzo was quieter than usual, which was a lot considering he didn’t speak much to begin with. He was picking at his fries, occasionally eating one, not joining in the usual lunchtime banter with Katrina, or even with Justin.
Katrina nudged him with her elbow. “Did I do something wrong?” She kept her voice low so that the others couldn’t hear her. He merely shook his head and kept picking at his fries. “You look like you lost your best friend. I’m still here, by the way. And so is Justin.”
One short nod was all his response was.
“Are you sure it isn’t me?” she asked, knowing how far they’d gone the night before. She’d wanted to continue, wanted his hands, his everything.
But he had stopped.
“Positive.”
“At least I got one word out of you. What...trouble in paradise?”
“You think it’s paradise there?” His eyes were hard for a moment, before softening as if Katrina’s presence alone was a comfort.
“I don’t know since Emily rarely speaks to me now and half the time you can’t have company over.”
“I like it at your house.”
“My house? Over that practical mansion you live in?”
“Yeah,” he said softly. “It feels like a home.”
***
Once again, Katrina found herself angry at a dead woman who wasn’t around for her to slap the ever loving shit out of. She was angry with herself for not listening every time that Lorenzo tried to make her see that his life was anything but happy.
Because he’d always said he was happy to be with her.
“I was happy with you, too,” she said to the boy in the prom picture with his head tilted to the side.
Had she been happy with Timothy? Or had he simply been someone safe, someone so unlike Lorenzo that there would never be any comparisons?
Except there had been. And Timothy had fallen short.
“Sorry, Timothy,” she whispered into her empty living room. She was sorry for wasting his time, time that could have been spent with someone who was completely present as she was realizing that she hadn’t been. Maybe she should send him a letter, or simply call him up to apologize, knowing that life was too short to leave things left unsaid.
A quick knock on her door had her intaking a shaky deep breath, then exhaling slowly.
“Calm, Trina. It’s just Ren.”
Just Ren.
At her door for their first date in 10 years.
No big deal.
“Hey,” he said as she finally answered the door, his hand poised to knock again. “I didn’t get a chance to stop, get you flowers.”
“Not just flowers.”
“Crazy daisies,” he said with his easygoing grin. “I remember.”
“Come in,” she said, stepping aside, and when he walked past her she caught the slight scent of his bodywash, the one that always drove her senses wild.
“Who else is here?”
She blinked a couple of times, surprised at his question. “No one. Why?”
“Sorry, I thought I heard you talking to someone.”
Her grin was sheepish. “Just to myself.”
She took in his appearance, in his button-down shirt with the top button undone, its color dark, its fit immaculate against his lean, muscular frame. His pants could be either business or casual, and his dark shoes stood in contrast with the tan carpeting in her living room.
“I have the pictures,” she finally said, tearing her eyes away from him, which was difficult. He was truly a beautiful man whose charisma and charm drew people in.
“Cool. Bring them with. You...damn, Trina, look at you. All grown up.”
“Look at us,” she reminded him. “You’ve grown up, too.”
She could almost see a peek of his dimple in his right cheek through his carefully sculpted stubble when he smiled that way, the way she’d missed so terribly.
“Look at us,” he agreed, then held out his arm. “Shall we?”
She took his arm, the swarm of butterflies in the pit of her stomach taking flight at the contact. “We shall. Where are we going?”
“Pictures,” he reminded her.
“Oh, right.” She let go of him to grab the pictures and put them into her bag, which had her keys clipped inside, then took his arm again, using it to steady herself as she stepped into her heels. She could almost swear his breath was shaky as she did so, but his breathing was steady as she smiled at him, almost looking him in the eye now.
“The rental car is right over there,” he pointed across the street as they walked towards it.
“Where were you coming from?”
“Home.”
“You live further away from Cade’s than I do?”
“Nah. I was just driving around. Didn’t want to be too early. Here.” He opened her car door for her and stepped aside as she slid in, closing it once she had her seatbelt on.
She’d missed that about him.
Timothy never did the little things like that.
She closed her eyes and counted backwards, admonishing herself for thinking about Timothy.
And then Lorenzo eased into the driver’s seat, and all thoughts of Timothy fled from her mind.
“Been to the marina lately?” he asked, and she shook her head.
“Not for years.”
“Why not?”
“Because it reminded me of you.”
He glanced over at her as he started the car. “Let me make it up to you.”
His voice flowed over her, smooth as melted butter, and she resisted the urge to sigh. “This I’ve got to see,” she said instead, and was met with a half grin that resonated deep within her.
Their topics of conversation on the way to the marina could be described as small talk. The weather, her brother’s antics, how Judith had surprised the both of them though they kept talk of her to a minimum. Still, with every word Katrina found herself relaxing, until the point where they reached the marina and he parked in the lot for The Pier, the hardest restaurant to get a table at.
“What are we doing here?” she asked. The lot was packed and there were people waiting outside hoping to cash in on a missed reservation.
“Remember when Martin brought me a cellphone?”
“To replace the one that broke in the crash, yes.”
“Wait, let me get your door,” he said to her, stopping her hand from pulling the lever, and she smiled.
“All right,” she replied, her lips turned upward in a soft smile.
The humidity had dropped, and a cool breeze floated across the lake, its slight waves splashing as Lorenzo opened her door. She took his hand as she exited the car not expecting him to lace their fingers together after she’d stood. When he did, she paused, their eyes locked in a silent glance, one that healed another fraction of her heart.
“Anyhow,” he said as they began their walk hand-in-hand to the front door, “when I got my cellphone, I called in a favor.”
“You planned this that long ago?”
“I wasn’t expecting you to find out about my past. I sure as hell wasn’t expecting you to be okay...are you okay with it?”
“It hurts. It hurts knowing what happened to you more than I can put into words right now. I’ll never be okay with them hurting you. But I’m okay with you.”
Saying the words out loud, to him, took a weight from her that she had been carrying since seeing him lying on her bathroom floor. Lorenzo managed one of his half-grins before they were stopped at the door.
“Name?”
“Cade, reservation for two,” he said. After a quick look, the woman ushered them the rest of the way inside and to their table, which sat by the window overlooking the water. Before they had a chance to finish smiling at one another, their waiter arrived with two large glasses of water with lemon along with their menus.
“We made it,” she commented, and his smile widened.
“Forget the club, this is where I should have taken you that night.”
“We never would have gotten reservations. And what kind of favor did you call in?”
“Let’s just say the owner’s kid got into a bit of trouble that I worked out.”
“Okay, we’ll say that, but that doesn’t tell me anything.”
“It tells you I made good on a promise. I have taken you to The Pier.”
She smiled at him. “Yes, you have.”
His eyes drank her in as she did the same to him, still mesmerized that all these years later, here he was.
“Ren...where did you go? When you left, I mean.”
One of his shoulders lifted and dropped. “Wherever I could. I did some couch surfing, a shelter here and there. Once you’re 18 and you’re out of the system, there isn’t much if you’re not prepared, you know? If you don’t have that family support. And I didn’t, so I did what I had to do. Tracked down leads on my old man, met his old best friend, and suddenly there I was immersed in the world of this bar. My old man, he’d wanted to own one, too. He never got the chance, though. Maybe I can keep a little bit of his memory alive at Cade’s, though. And Ma...I keep wondering if she’d be proud of the person I’ve become.”
“I’m sure the answer to that is yes.”
“Thank you.”
“But mixed martial arts...how? Why?”
“I was looking for an empty building to crash in.” He took a sip of water before he continued. “That’s where I met Martin.”
“Martin?” she asked, blinking in surprise.
“Don’t let his size fool you, that man can scrap with the best of them. It’s come in handy a night or two at the bar. Anyhow, I met him, and he was just full of rage, you know? His old man used him for a personal punching bag, and when he fought back, he got kicked out. He knew a lot of the MMA and got me started. I saved every dime I could, you know? Every dime.”
“And you still fight.”
“I still have the rage, Trina. Some days I can’t get past it, and I don’t want to take it out on the people I care about. So, I save it for the matches.”
“I heard Justin say he wants to go.”
“Yeah, but it’s a tough crowd. I don’t know about involving any of you. I don’t think I could concentrate if I was worried about you, too.”
“I don’t think I can concentrate knowing you’re going into an illegal fighting ring and potentially getting killed.”
He opened his mouth to protest, then grinned. “Touché. What about you?”
“No fighting for me,” she said, holding her hands up, causing him to laugh.
“No, after...after I left. Tell me everything.”
She hesitated, taking a drink of her water to stall, to gather up the courage.
“Trina?”
“I fell apart, Ren. I absolutely fell apart.”
His smile fell. “I’m so sorry.”
“No! No, I get it.” She folded her hands in front of her to keep from fidgeting. “I understand now why you had to go. If it wasn’t for Justin, I never would have made it for my finals, never would have graduated, or gone off to college, or any of it. I isolated myself, even with his help with doing what had to be done. That’s it. I did the bear minimum and somehow landed a cushy job with Bradford Marketing. There are long stretches of time that I don’t even remember. I’ve never looked at our prom photographs because we were supposed to look at them together. I haven’t been to the marina in years, haven’t had much of a social life outside of...” Her voice trailed off and she looked down at her hands.
“I never wanted any of that for you.”
“Well, a heads up would have been nice. Although knowing me, I probably would have missed it completely. I missed so much happening right before my eyes, Ren. I’m having a hard time forgiving myself.”
He reached across the table and placed his hand over hers. “There’s nothing to forgive yourself for, I promise.”
Tears touched her eyes as he said the words. “Maybe someday I’ll believe that.”
“We already toasted to forgiveness, you know.” His thumb caressed her hand sending a jolt through her body. “What do you say we toast to new beginnings?”
“With our water?”
“Well, our waiter hasn’t come for our orders let alone the wine.” He pulled back and held his water glass into the air.
“We’re doing an awful lot of toasting lately.”
“Well, we have a lot to celebrate. To new beginnings.”
She smiled through her still-threatening tears.
This was Ren.
She could do this.
“To new beginnings.”
CHAPTER 26
After dinner, they walked along the docks admiring the boats there as well as the sunset, its hues of red stretched along the skyline. At one point, Katrina’s heel had gotten stuck, and when Lorenzo wrapped his arms around her to keep from falling, they stood there in what turned to an embrace.
“I’ve missed you,” she admitted as he stepped back, his eyes soft as he drank her in.
“I’ve missed you more than you know,” he said in return. She slipped her heels off and held them in one hand, and he reached for her other. Lacing their fingers together, they walked together down the dock, a comfortable silence broken occasionally by easy banter.
Just as they used to do.
“Did you really want to get into marketing?” he asked, and she smiled.
“Yes. A million times yes. I love what I do, seeing a brand and coming up with ingenious ways to get the company seen and heard. The pace can be grueling sometimes, but the creativity is endless. I don’t have to ask if you’re doing what you always wanted.”
“Right now, I’m doing everything I ever wished for.”
“Including the fighting?”
He squeezed her hand before relaxing. “Forever the worrier.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know you are, and I...it’s another thing I’ve missed. Having someone care enough to worry.”
“Martin doesn’t worry about you?”
“He knows I can handle my own.”
“What happens, though, if they find out?”
“They who?”
She inhaled deeply. “Emily. Her father. Will it hurt you in your case?”
“Yes.”
“So will you stop?”
“I’m careful, Trina, I promise.”
“They’re going to watch you like a hawk, you know.”
“I know, and now that...oh! I didn’t tell you.” They stopped and he faced her, a grin in place almost showing his dimple. “He’s been served. My petition for paternity establishment, for all of it. He’s been served.”
“That’s wonderful! I mean...that is wonderful, right?”
“I’m one step closer to meeting my daughter.”
“You were there, Ren. You didn’t get to meet her?”
He shook his head. “They wouldn’t even let her come to the stairwell. I didn’t get much past the front door, honestly. I was so pissed, Trina, I can’t even wrap my head around the rage that I felt.”
She stepped closer, looking up at him. “That rage nearly got you killed.”
“Yeah, it was stupid to drive that way, I know.” He shrugged, his grin still in place. “But it brought me you.”
His smile was infectious, but she couldn’t help but point out, “You could have just called me yourself.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He turned to begin walking again, and she walked beside him, still holding his hand. “I almost did, you know. I was one number away and chickened out so many times.”
“What would have happened had I continued my search for you? You know, if I hadn’t sworn off all things you just to deal with life?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“I wanted to get my shit together before I talked to you, or to Justin. I wanted...hell, I wanted to reach out and ask what you’d been told, see if you hated me, if you believed them.”
“Wait.” They stopped and she looked up at him. “What do you mean, if I believed them? I thought that didn’t start until the night you went there, the night of the accident.”
“I was told you were all going to be...Trina, can we not talk about this right now?” His eyes were pleading with her, and she relaxed, knowing she needed to give him time and space to talk when he was ready.
“Of course.”
“Besides.” He grinned again, and it made her stomach flip. “You have pictures to show me.”
“Yes. Yes, I do. My place?” She held her breath in anticipation of his answer.
“I’d love to.”
***
They sat on her couch, the envelopes on the coffee table before them. Katrina had brewed a pot of coffee and they each sat with a cup looking down at the untouched envelopes, their silence comfortable. Even with his closeness, she was able to breathe, to relax, her fears of abandonment on hold.
“Where shall we start?” he asked, and she picked up the envelope from Judith.
“This one. I’ve seen these; they’re really hilarious.” She carefully removed the photos and held the first one in her hand, the one where he had popped the balloon behind the principal’s back. As Lorenzo’s laughter filled her heart and home, he took the picture from her, his fingers brushing hers. She wasn’t sure if he caught her intake of breath or not.
“This is fantastic!” He set that one aside and one by one they went through the photographs familiar to her, ones that she’d sobbed when she first saw them, but now...now with Lorenzo being so close his knee was touching hers, they took on an entirely new meaning. This one was full of emotion as she was witness to his joy, such a contrast from the pain and sorrow he’d let down his walls for her to see.
There was a photo of Emily with her date that he quickly put aside before Katrina showed him the next one.
The one of them on the dance floor, their foreheads touching, the look of love in their eyes.
