Broken, page 13
“And I always thought you didn’t want to be found.”
He turned his gaze in her direction, his eyes searching hers, and when he found what he was looking for, his gaze softened.
“I guess,” she continued, “that we were both wrong.”
“Yes. Yes and no. I have slowly been piecing my life back together, and I wasn’t ready to see you. I wanted...hell, I always imagined you’d find Cade’s and just waltz back into my life, and we...” His voice trailed off as he eyes moved back to the sketch.
“And we what?”
He shrugged and took a drink of his beer. “But I just...instinct told me to have them call you. I knew you’d come.”
“And then what?”
“Then I’d get to say goodbye.”
She remained silent as she took a drink of her beer. He’d wanted to say goodbye to her, the way he hadn’t all those years before.
“I thought I was dying,” he continued. “I really fucking thought I was. They told me I coded in the ambulance.”
“They told me that, too.” She turned the bottle around in her hands, then asked, “What about now? Are you just wanting a proper goodbye?”
“No.” He said the word softly, his eyes on her.
“What are you wanting?”
“I don’t know.”
Her eyes widened at his admission.
“You have no idea what it’s done for me to see you again,” he continued.
“Bet me,” she said with a laugh.
The silence that stretched between them as they held one another’s gaze wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable. It felt good.
Right.
“It’s getting late,” he finally said.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” She’d asked the question quickly, her heart pounding, not wanting him to leave.
Not wanting to risk him walking out of her life again.
Not wanting another phone call about an accident.
She watched a myriad of emotions play across his face. “Yeah,” he breathed. “I’d like that.”
Relief flooded her body, made it easier for her to breathe. “Here.” She used her remotes to pull up what she knew was his all-time favorite movie, or at least it had been.
“Singles!” he exclaimed, his smile infectious. “I haven’t seen this movie in forever.”
“I watched it just the other night.”
“We don’t have to—”
“I want to.”
“Thank you, Trina.”
“It’s just a movie.”
“No, for...for tonight. For not...for not being repulsed by me.”
She turned towards him, her eyes wide, her heart pounding uncomfortably. “I could never be repulsed by you, Ren.”
“You’re still the only one who calls me that, you know. Most everyone else just calls me Cade.”
She smiled at his statement, noting the abrupt change in subject. “You’re always Ren to me.”
“Even after all this time?”
“Don’t make me quote Harry Potter.”
His laughter rang throughout her home as the opening credits came up. He held his beer out and she tapped her bottle to his.
“To forgiveness?” he asked, his eyes hopeful.
“To forgiveness.”
CHAPTER 22
Justin’s mouth hung open as he processed the news that Katrina gave him and Judith the next morning over coffee and bagels. Katrina sat stoically in her seat, her hands folded in front of her, waiting for their reactions.
They now knew Miranda was Lorenzo’s child.
That was the extent of what they knew.
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Justin finally said, throwing his napkin on the table as he stood. Katrina put out a hand to stop him.
“That’s not the whole story, Justin.” How she kept her composure was beyond her comprehension, but it was as if she’d compartmentalized his trauma along with her own.
Justin’s brows furrowed. “He was screwing old lady Torrence. Okay, so she wasn’t that old, but she was, what? Twenty-five? And all that time he was supposed to be with you. No, Trina. He doesn’t get a pass on this.”
“Justin, please. It...it’s complicated.” She wasn’t sure if Lorenzo wanted the rest of the story out there or not, and it was his story to tell. “He’ll tell you when he’s ready, okay? This is just...it’s important. Judith, I know your mom’s an attorney.”
“I don’t know how much of parental rights she knows, but yes.”
“Can you ask her? Please?”
“Did she drug him?” Judith asked, her eyes wide, and Katrina shook her head. “Did she...” Her voice trailed off as tears sprung into Katrina’s eyes. “Oh, god.”
“Oh god what? What did I miss?” Justin sat down again, his eyes on his sister. “Why do you look like Niagara Falls is about to come pouring down your face? Either you tell me, or I’ll beat it out of him.”
“Justin, stop.” Judith placed her hand over his and squeezed. Justin seemed confused for a moment, then his own eyes widened as the truth sunk in.
That woman had used coercion, had set her sites on a young teenage boy who she was supposed to care for, to provide for, to give a safe haven to.
“Don’t ask me for details,” Katrina said as she picked up her coffee cup. “They’re not mine to tell. He just asked that I let you two know about Miranda.”
“And to check if my mother would take his case,” Judith added, and Katrina inhaled deeply.
“Yes.”
“She’s going to have a lot of questions for him, ones he needs to be able to answer.”
“Why isn’t he here today?” Justin asked, still frowning. “Why is this coming from you?”
“He’s...” Katrina sat up a little straighter. “He’s having a hard time with me knowing, with having to relive pieces of his past he’d rather forget.”
“What about that little girl?” Judith asked. “No, wait. We don’t need another Emily running around. Yeah, he should look into custody. Or at the very least visitation. He’s going to have to provide proof of a stable environment, you know.”
Katrina nodded. “I know.”
“And it might not look great knowing he owns and runs a bar.”
“But we’re going to make that place better.”
Judith’s smile was tight, but it was there. “Yes, we are.”
“How are you?” Justin leaned forward, his eyes locked with his sister’s.
“I’m...” Heartbroken. Shattered.
Strong.
“I’m doing much better than he is at the moment,” she finally said.
“How did we not see?” Judith asked. “He was so...well, he was quiet, sullen, and an asshole. So, yeah, I guess it was right there in front of us. Except when he was with you,” Judith added, looking at Katrina. “Then he was normal. Just a guy who had you wrapped. Trina?”
“Yeah?”
“I wouldn’t go getting wrapped up in him again if I were you. Not now.”
“He needs me, Judith. Truth is, I think he needs all of us. I’m going to be there for him. Are you?”
Justin nodded once, his eyes downcast. “Yeah. I’m in.”
Judith picked at her bagel. “I want to talk to him.”
“Please, Judith, all he asked me to tell—”
“He’s not the only one who’s been through this,” Judith said quickly. “Let me talk to him.”
“Babe?” Justin asked, and Judith nodded.
“He already knows,” Judith said, motioning towards her husband. “But it may help him to talk to someone else who’s been there.”
Katrina reached across the table and squeezed Judith’s hand. “I had no idea.”
“Well, I’m not the poster girl. I just had a skeezy uncle who thought I was his plaything. He’s rotting in the ground now, too, just like the bitch that did this to Lorenzo. I think I can help. I want to help,” she added.
Judith.
The same Judith who Katrina had dismissed as snobby and bitchy was extending her help for Ren.
“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it,” Katrina replied.
“I’d like to help you, too.”
Once again, a tear slipped down Katrina’s cheek. “Thank you.”
***
As Katrina got in her car to head into work that morning, her phone began to ring a familiar tone.
Timothy was calling.
With a heavy sigh, she put her Bluetooth earbud in and accepted the call. “Hello?”
“I was a jackass.”
She started her car, looking carefully as she backed out of the driveway. “I don’t know what you want me to say to that. Other than I agree. You were.”
“Let me make it up to you. Dinner, tonight, your favorite restaurant.”
Katrina shook her head even though he couldn’t see it. “I don’t think that’s such a great idea right now. I have a lot going on.”
“Tell me you’re not still babysitting.”
It wasn’t just what he said, but the tone he used that sparked her anger. “I was never babysitting, Timothy, I was being there for a friend.”
“And what about Emily, huh? Where are you when she needs you?”
Emily.
She’d almost forgotten about the venom that had spewed from her mouth.
“I heard what he did to you.”
“You have no idea what went on.” Katrina’s voice was hard, firm. “And furthermore, as I recall, it’s no longer any of your business.”
“Trina—”
“No. No, I don’t want to hear it.” She hit end on the call and continued her drive, fuming. Another call came through almost immediately, and she answered with a “What?”
“I’m sorry; I can call you back.”
Lorenzo was on the line.
She swerved slightly, then got herself back in control. “I’m sorry,” she finally said. “I’m just on my way to work. I talked to Justin and Judith this morning.”
“I wanted to apologize for asking you to do that, actually.” She heard him inhale on a cigarette and exhale slowly. “I shouldn’t have put that on your shoulders.”
“It’s what friends do, Ren.”
“Friends. I like that.” His voice was choked with emotion. “I’m just a wreck today. Thank you for following through. I should have known you would. Did they...”
“I’m pretty sure they came to the conclusion on their own.” Katrina slowed for a red light and sighed.
“Shit.”
“Shit what?”
“I hate...I hate this feeling. Like I’m dirty.”
“Trust me, that’s the last thing you are.”
“I’ve got to shower,” he said quickly.
Shower.
He took so many of those, all the time.
Like I’m dirty.
She mentally wanted to kick herself for missing so many signs.
“I have to go.” He sounded almost panicked.
“Breathe, Ren. Breathe.”
She heard his shaky exhale of breath as she let out one of her own.
“You’re going to be just fine.”
***
“Stop being so grabby,” Judith said to Justin as they sat at the lunch table two weeks before senior prom.
“I’m not being grabby; I’m showing my appreciation.”
“You’ll appreciate me not castrating you. Don’t grab my ass like that again.”
“Fine, shesh, lighten up, Jude.”
“Oh, I’m light. Hello, Trina.”
Katrina smiled at the two of them, quite the oddball couple with Justin’s antics and Judith’s no bullshit ways. She gave them a total of two months before the finally official couple were broken up, and hopefully she wouldn’t lose a friend over it.
Wait, was Judith her friend?
Was she anyone’s actual friend?
“Where’s your other half?” Judith asked her, and Katrina smiled.
“Buying our prom tickets. I finally convinced him to give another school dance a shot. I don’t know why he was so hesitant. I mean, it’s prom.”
“It’s our senior prom,” Justin added. “A rite of passage.”
“Exactly,” Katrina agreed.
“Okay,” Lorenzo said as he rejoined Katrina at the table, sitting beside her and taking her hand in his. “We have tickets for prom. Are you happy?”
“You need a tux.”
“I can’t wear my leather jacket? Oh, wait, I’d have to get it back from you.”
“You love me, shut up.”
“For the love of all things holy, would you two stop?” Judith opened her bottle of water and took a drink. “You’re nauseating me.”
Lorenzo was fidgeting a little more than usual that day, wadding up the paper from his straw and unrolling it over and over. He swallowed once and said, “Hey, Justin...I’ve still got clothes over there, right?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“What, are you moving in?” Judith quipped.
“Nah, I just need them is all.”
“And your leather?” Katrina asked with a pout that he traced with his thumb.
“Sorry, babe.”
“Are you in trouble or something?” Justin asked.
“Or something,” Lorenzo replied, an easygoing grin now on his face.
***
As Katrina pulled into her parking space at the office building she worked in, a lazy smile was on her face. They’d been so young, so carefree.
Or she thought they had.
But her next thought had her wondering something entirely different.
He’d been planning to leave.
He’d planned his getaway from the Torrences, down to getting his leather jacket back from her.
The bile of betrayal threatened as she gathered her things to go inside.
It was going to be a long day.
CHAPTER 23
Two weeks had passed since Katrina had come to the realization that Lorenzo had planned his getaway.
Two weeks since she found out why.
Two weeks of keeping silent about it every time she was around Ren, as there always seemed to be someone else there.
Such as this night, when Katrina had brought her marketing plans with her to the bar, which was closed for renovation. When she entered, she saw Lorenzo swinging Judith around in a bear hug, both exuding with excitement.
“Trina, look!” Lorenzo exclaimed, gesturing towards the floor. The sticky carpet had been removed, and beneath it...
“Hardwood floors!” Katrina’s eyes lit up with the same excitement that Lorenzo and Judith had.
“Fuck the carpeting, we will cancel that order,” Judith was saying as she walked towards Katrina, though she was talking to Lorenzo. “The reverb in this place is going to be amazing, absolutely amazing. We’ll contract someone to get this polished up and we will be good to go with the furniture.” She approached Katrina with open arms and hugged her, though Katrina’s hands were full. “How are you?”
She was always asking that now.
“Good,” Katrina replied as she stepped back. “Better now, actually. This is fantastic news.”
“Isn’t it?” Lorenzo asked, approaching her as well, his smile the most genuine of joy.
“Your dream,” she added, and his eyes softened.
“You remembered.”
“Of course.” Katrina smiled at him, and his eyes darted to the floor before he peered up at her again, his smile seemingly a little shy.
“Oh would you two just get it on already,” Judith said with a wave of her hand. “Martin!” She yelled across the room and began to walk in Martin’s direction. “Martin, you’ve got to see this!”
“Never mind Judith,” Katrina said softly even as Lorenzo took a step towards her, causing her heart rate to soar. “I never do.”
He said nothing, but reached for her portfolio bag, then gestured with his head for her to follow him into his office.
Where they would be alone.
The tap tap of her heels against the hardwood floor reverberated throughout her body, each step closer to his office causing her to war in her head.
Would she confront him? Or merely ask? Or should she leave it alone? They’d come this far and were finally getting into the groove of being friends.
Almost the way they had before.
Only this time, there would be no handing her the leather jacket on the first day of high school.
His office was a bit chaotic, papers piled up on his desk by his quick scanner where he was switching to all digital. But he’d taken the photo out and had it displayed now, up by his first dollar bill. And there the three of them—Justin, Lorenzo, and Katrina—were smiling at their photographer, Judith.
“I can’t believe you stole that picture from me,” she blurted out, then felt her cheeks heat up as he shut the door with a resounding click.
His laughter was soft as he sat in one of the small chairs to the side, gesturing towards his leather office chair for her.
Always the gentleman.
Always kind, at least to her.
“I can get this set up,” she said as the silence let her know he wasn’t going to respond to her comment about the picture.
Until he spoke up.
“You were the best friends anyone could ask for, you know? Then and now.”
She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. “You weren’t so bad yourself.”
“Thank you.”
Always with manners.
Always looking...not gorgeous, she’d never use that word again. But always looking so handsome, especially on days like this when he hadn’t bothered to shave.
She turned back to her presentation, readying it for him, mentally preparing herself to go over every detail, telling the voice in the back of her head to shut up.
He obviously no longer had feelings for her, at least not romantically.
He wasn’t preoccupied with what might have been, or what could be now that she knew the truth.
“It all looks fantastic,” he said, awe in his voice as he looked at her layouts before she’d even begun.
