For the Night, page 4
My time was up. Penelope reached us, and while Greer aimed for Archie, Penelope plopped down on the other side of Ash.
“How’s the event plannin’ goin’?” Ash asked her.
Penelope blew out a breath. “We haven’t started. Greer’s just nosy and full of requests.”
Ash rumbled a chuckle. “He wants to help you bake the cake he’s gonna eat?”
Penelope tapped her nose.
“I’m surprised you signed up to be an organizer,” Ash noted. “I thought you liked that high-protocol shit.”
Did she really?
“I love the psychology behind it,” Penelope corrected. “I don’t necessarily want to live it twenty-four seven. But some scenes here and there—yeah.”
Interesting.
“What about you, Nora?” Oh, Ash was relentless. Why was he shifting the spotlight back to me? I could just sit here and go through the breakfast menu. “Are you signing up for the Game?” He turned back real quick to Penelope. “I’ve been getting to know the Swedish girl.”
“Really.” Penelope showed zero emotion on her face; she just eyed me, a little guarded.
I was so screwed. Whether she was hung up on her ex or I simply wasn’t her type—didn’t matter. This was a dead end for me.
I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat. “I’ve thought about it, but it seems more geared to couples. We’ll see how tomorrow plays out, I guess.” I’d seen a handful of the attendees for tomorrow’s mini event were lesbians. Fingers crossed I got along with one or two.
Ash knitted his brows. “What’s the event tomorrow? I’m not online much.”
“Um, they call it Try a Kink,” I said. “It’s supposedly a casual party, and it starts early.”
Penelope nodded and addressed Ash. “Nathan’s gonna demonstrate bondage, just so you know.”
“Oh.” Ash frowned. “Then guess who’s not gonna be here. This guy.” He pointed his thumb at himself. “How early is it?”
“It starts at two,” I said.
He nodded. “That explains it. I’m assuming his folks will watch our kids. But anyway—” He cleared his throat, visibly bothered by something. “If you don’t find a Domme tomorrow and still wanna join the Game, I’ll be happy to fill in. I won’t let you call me Mistress, but I promise to keep my hands to myself.”
I grinned. Relief flooded me too, and I was honestly touched by his kindness. That was so sweet of him. He definitely seemed like a fun Top, and I’d played nonsexually with men in the past.
“What about Ma’am?” I teased.
He smirked. “Fuck around and find out, girl.”
I laughed.
“That’s very kind of you—I might take you up on that, no matter what,” I said. “My only hope for tomorrow was to explore predicament bondage and ceremonial poses.”
He lifted his brows and turned to Penelope. “Hear that, Pen? Ceremonial poses. You love that nonsense.”
Re. Lent. Less.
Penelope rolled her eyes. “I heard her. You’re not being subtle, Ash.”
“Fuck subtle.” Ash rose to his feet with a grunt. “I’mma grab a beer. You girls want anything? Another cider for the Swedish girl?”
“Oh—yes, please. Lane opened a tab for me.” I held up my bottle so he could see what kind it was.
Now, what? He was just gonna leave us alone? I didn’t like that one bit. Penelope had been clear; she wasn’t interested. End of story.
“Thanks, but my tab is better,” Ash replied. He turned to Penelope next, and she requested a glass of wine.
Tate and Kingsley got up at the same time, and Tate gave us a heads-up that the pizza would be here soon.
I had a choice now. Immediately excuse myself to go to the bathroom and spare myself awkwardness, push through the moment of awkwardness and make conversation with Penelope, or check my phone.
“I’d apologize for him, but for some reason, Ash’s bull-in-a-china-shop approach has always worked with people.”
I glanced at Penelope. Maybe I didn’t have to make the choice after all.
I mustered a smile. “It’s like he doesn’t allow for anyone to feel uncomfortable.”
“Yeah, that’s him.” She sighed and smirked ruefully. “I don’t possess that gift.”
I took a swig from my cider, and my stomach fluttered as she shifted closer on the sofa.
Evidently, it didn’t take more than that for the whole world to disappear. I stopped hearing the murmur of conversation going on around us; I stopped hearing the country boys on their guitars.
“May I speak bluntly?” she asked.
Fuck. Helvetes jävla skit. This was it.
“Of course.” I swallowed. She was gonna ask me not to make a move or something. Or let me know she’d heard through the grapevine that I was interested, and she was letting me down gently.
It didn’t feel gentle whatsoever.
“I would love to buy you a drink tomorrow at the event,” she said, causing the noise of screeching tires to blare in my brain. She wanted to do what? “If you’re interested in exploring a kink or getting together to see if we could play, I’m definitely game.”
As wonderful as that sounded, I knew a but was coming.
“That’s unfortunately it for me, though,” she went on. A fancy kind of but, in other words. “I’m not in a good place in life, and you deserve someone who’s not so damn jaded.”
My heart sank; I couldn’t help it. But it wasn’t just self-pity. I felt for her. I could practically sense that she was too emotionally exhausted for games and beating around the bush. So…what, she was gonna stick to casual…? We’d all been there. It wasn’t that long ago I’d broken up with my ex, and she’d been a fucking bitch toward the end. Manipulative and catty. I couldn’t stand it.
We healed eventually, though, didn’t we?
So would Penelope.
“Okay,” I said. “I understand.” It did sting, but I refused to give up. “If you were serious about the drink, I’m in. I would love to get to know you, at least.”
Small as it was, her smile looked more genuine now. “Getting to know each other sounds good.”
Two pizza slices and three drinks later, we had a whole new atmosphere in the pool area. The guitars had been replaced by Shay’s Bluetooth speaker, Lucian and KC had taken their boys to bed, Colt had returned to his two, and Greer had wheeled out a cart with drinks and snacks.
I could also sense the difference in the Tops’ behavior when they were faced with subs who weren’t Littles. It was Shay, Lane, Archie, Tate, and me left on the subbie side. Throw in Penelope, Ash, River, Reese, Greer, Kingsley, and Ty…? Things just turned more…wolfish. A layer of “fun-loving Daddy” was peeled off to reveal primal cores.
The current hot topic was whether the brats were up to something, if they’d planned a prank or whatever, which all the Tops were convinced of. Being the brilliant girl that I was—one with a task—I discreetly recorded the conversation on my phone.
“Bullshit,” Reese laughed. “You were gonna reveal somethin’ on the cruise, and then you changed your plans.”
“I swear we didn’t!” Shay insisted. “Macklin talked about pranking Ash, but he decided to do that another time.”
“I knew it!” Ash exclaimed. “That fuckin’ brat, I swear. I’mma talk to Walker after the weekend. This can’t go unpunished.”
“This can’t go unpunished,” Lane mocked. “Sir, do you hear yourself? You’re all obsessed with this so-called prank.”
I took a sip of my cider to withhold my laughter.
This was fucking gold.
Tate and I exchanged a brief look, and we shared the same tiny smirk. I bet he was recording too.
Ash slid his stare to Ty. “What are your boundaries on outsiders putting your boy in his place?”
Ty smiled. “Clear-cut. If he dishes it out, he can take it back, but any escalation goes through me.”
Lane scowled at Ty.
Ash was pleased. “Good to know.”
Tate turned curious. “Are you two open?”
Both Ty and Lane shook their heads.
“Maybe down the line with a long list of boundaries, but we’re happy with what we share with Macklin and Walker,” Ty elaborated. “The only play I’m lookin’ forward to one day is Lane going nuts with Shay, Macklin, and you.”
“Fuck yeah.” Reese was clearly on board, and it sounded like it was something they’d discussed before.
Tate smirked and cuddled deeper into Kingsley’s embrace. “That’ll be hot.”
“The tatted-up primal boys—no doubt,” Reese said. He nudged Ty. “Hopefully down in Florida, eh?”
“Absolutely. Back to the island.” Ty and Reese bumped their fists.
I scrunched my nose.
This was such a dick show.
Sufficiently tipsified, I leaned on the armrest and spoke for only Penelope to hear. “So I get the love you have for these guys—you’re basically family—but does it ever get to be too much?”
She’d had a few drinks too, so maybe that was why she chuckled and casually leaned toward me as well. “Both yes and no. No, because I love watching them interact. Fuck soap operas—I’d rather catch an episode of this never-ending battle of the wits. And yes, because obviously, I alienate myself when many of the private events are catered to men. But…” She trailed off and emptied her wineglass. Then she released a breath and smiled a little hollowly. “For the longest time, it wasn’t an issue because I had Ella. Now I’m supposed to start over? I don’t know how to do that.”
Okay, I drank more. I freaking guzzled that cider like my life depended on it.
If I was going to listen to Penelope confess that she missed her ex, I needed every drop of alcohol.
“This is why I’ve decided to stay away from relationships,” she went on. “I will happily play and host demos and turn into a for-the-night Domme. It’s what I’m good for. One night. No more decade-long ordeals that end in heartbreak and self-doubt and…fuck it.” She reached for a bottle of gin on the cart and poured some straight into her empty wineglass. “Let this be a teaching moment, Nora. You’re not yourself in a relationship. You don’t know what you’re doing. I have no idea what I’m doing—even now. I just know…” She took a swig of the gin and made a face.
A breath gusted out of me, and I felt a little drunk and defeated and, honestly, defiant. Because I didn’t agree with her.
“I just know,” she repeated, “that I woke up one morning a few weeks ago, doubting every aspect of our relationship. The last few years, at least. Like, had we been happy or just…I don’t know, settled? For instance, when I look at some of my friends—take Lucas and Colt. They’ve been together for almost as long as Ella and I were, and they’re so happy. Even Tate and Kingsley, Macklin and Walker, who’ve all lived through breakups—but they reunited because they just couldn’t fall out of love with each other.”
I eyed her warily, and she looked at her friends before turning back to me.
Her hazel-green eyes burned with something so intense that it seared through the tipsy cloud.
“Ash is devastated without Nathan,” she murmured. “They broke up a little over a year ago, and he still can’t live without him. Ella and I were never like that. It’s been…” She squinted and actually counted on her fingers. “Almost four months now…? And I don’t even miss her. I don’t love her anymore.”
I swallowed hard and felt a rush of heat press itself to the surface, bleeding onto my cheeks.
She didn’t miss Ella. She didn’t love her anymore.
“And if it weren’t for her betrayal, we would’ve still been here,” she said. “Living together in okayness.” She shook her head and looked down into her glass. “We barely even fought. Growing up, I always heard—my mom, she called me her little hothead, and she said it was a good thing. ‘It’s better to love and fight wildly than live on autopilot,’ she said. And I think autopilot is exactly what I’ve been living on. Which…I’m now rambling about to a girl I just met.”
I cracked a smile and dared to give her hand a brief squeeze.
“I’m an awesome listener, so it’s okay,” I said. “Besides, I’ve been known as somewhat of a hothead myself, and I can only imagine what you’re going through. I’d probably doubt myself too—and wonder what I actually want.”
She hummed and planted her elbow on the armrest, bringing us a little closer together. “What makes you a hothead?”
I smirked. “Depends who you ask. My big brother will say it’s because I screamed like a banshee every time he was a pain in my ass when we grew up. Exes might say I’m impossible to deal with since I don’t compromise on core beliefs and kinks, and I get pretty heated about it. My dad—”
She perked up. “But you shouldn’t compromise on core shit. Do you have an example?”
I nodded. “My first girlfriend in BDSM. I need pain in my life, and I was willing to compromise on how I receive it—like, nonsexually from another Top, with my Domme watching or something. But she was uncomfortable with that, and she not-so-discreetly hinted that people have to compromise in relationships. It’s unrealistic to expect a partner to cover every need—”
Penelope scoffed. “That’s manipulative bullshit. It’s one thing to put a curiosity on the back burner or neglect a kink you only want once in a blue moon, but to ask a masochist to refrain from receiving pain…?”
“That’s what I yelled at her the last time we fought,” I laughed.
She grinned. “Good. Some people just piss me off—another solid reason to stick to this community.” She nodded at the others. “I can handle these yahoos.”
“Yeah, excuse me—I heard that,” Ash said.
Oops?
He came over, and he must’ve already been on his way, because he was carrying two blankets.
“From one yahoo to another,” he told Penelope pointedly, “we can handle you too.”
“What he said.” That was Greer, who came over with a bottle of tonic water. “You must’ve forgotten this earlier when you decided to check your reflection in the gin.”
“Awww,” I giggled. They were so sweet—and Penelope was properly chastised in a playful way. She groaned through a chuckle and hid behind the blanket. I smiled as Ash wrapped the other blanket around my shoulders. “Thank you, Sir.”
“Anytime, kiddo.” He ruffled my damn hair before he returned to his seat.
Ugh. I smoothed it down again.
“To be fair, you drink gin straight and ice-cold with lemon,” Lane said frankly.
“That’s my boy.” Ty smooched him.
“Are you gonna take care of her when she’s throwin’ up in the pool?” Greer challenged.
“Hey.” Penelope pushed down the blanket and scowled up at Greer. “Talk about something that’s never happened.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Greer replied dismissively. “Baby sisters get pushed around. Strong men like us? We obviously know better than you.”
I spluttered a laugh, and Penelope offered him an incredulous look before she glanced my way.
“You see what I’m talking about?”
I nodded, finding the whole thing hysterical.
“My life comes with a laugh track,” she added, nodding at the guys. So they were her laugh track?
Maybe it included me now too, ’cause this was too funny.
By midnight, my crush had never been so intense, probably because it’d been joined by neediness and overwhelming desire. Penelope was just so damn sexy and beautiful, and now I’d been sitting right next to her long enough that I was addicted to her presence.
I was getting a glimpse of what she’d meant when she’d told me she loved watching her friends interact. Considering how long the Founders had known one another, and how seamlessly new partners had been welcomed into the fold, it was like watching the longest-running sitcom. They joked, laughed hard, gave one another good-natured shit, walked down memory lane, and all but finished one another’s sentences.
Reese was talking about a takedown they’d hosted for newbies years ago, and Penelope and Greer added their own anecdotes to the story. How awful it’d been—which they could clearly laugh about now—because said newbies had signed up for more than they could handle. Despite lengthy negotiations and demos, once the subs were sent down to the forest in the dark, all hell had broken loose.
“The little shits wouldn’t even safeword,” Greer groaned through a laugh. “They just whined and screamed.”
Reese flicked Lane and me a glance. “It was nonsexual and low on pain and everythin’—we’d told them we’d just hunt them down and bring them back to the house.”
I scrunched my nose. “Why sign up for a takedown if you don’t like getting scared?”
I mean, I understood pushing one’s limits and trying something new—that was part of the lifestyle—but still.
“The curse of the newbie,” River muttered into his glass.
Penelope nodded. “Too much confidence, perhaps a crush or two on someone far more experienced—you wanna prove yourself.”
Hmpf. I wanted to prove myself too, but throwing myself into a kink I couldn’t handle—not even safewording to get myself out of the situation…? Nuh-uh.
“That’s enough yawning for us, little one.” Greer gave Archie a kiss and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go to bed.”
Oh, already? People around here went to bed so early! Ash had caught a ride with Kingsley and Tate an hour ago, after he and I had exchanged numbers, and I could tell that Lane and Ty were about to—
“We’re off too,” Ty said, confirming my suspicion. He gathered a sleepy Lane in his arms and yanked him off the chair they’d shared. “More fuckery tomorrow.”
Lane hummed in agreement and plastered himself to his man.
I wasn’t envious at all.
Goodnights and see-you-tomorrows were exchanged, and I finished another cider.
I hoped River, Reese, and Shay wanted to stay up a while longer, because they were the only ones remaining soon enough. If they left, my evening with Penelope would be over.
