Reaper: Lotus MC Motorcycle Romance, page 26
“Then it’s decided as soon as everyone’s ready, we throw a patching party.”
“I’ll talk to Honk and Elenore. I’m sure they would be willing to plan it for us. That way, you and Natalie don’t have to worry about it.”
I nod. “I’ll mention it to Natalie. I’m sure she would like to work with Elenore on it. Give her something to funnel all of her energy into right now. Anything else?”
“Nah, not right now.” Colt shakes his head.
“Alright we’ll meet again in a few days. Everyone stay safe and don’t do anything stupid. Meeting adjourned.”
It’s been a little over a week since everything with William went down. The dust is finally starting to settle around us and everyone is getting back to their lives. Including me by picking back up with my therapy sessions. I wanted to cancel, but Harrison was adamant that I work it all out with her without giving her too many details.
“The last thing we need is for the therapist to go to the cops,” Harrison tells me.
“I think it’s time,” the therapist says, bringing me back to the present. “You’ve made progress when it comes to your family, but I think there is one last thing you need to do to completely move on.”
“And what’s that?”
“I think you need to confront them. You could visit them in person, or you could call, or even write, but I think you need to lay it all out for them. How you forgive them for being absent and letting you down. Say whatever you want to them.”
“I don’t know.” I frown as I shift in my chair. “I wouldn’t even know where to find them.”
“I think a simple Google search would give you that answer. If you don’t want to do it yourself, ask one of your friends. I truly think this is the only way you will completely move on and let that go.”
“You really think so?”
The therapist smiles as she adjusts her glasses. “I do. You’ve made your peace with them and your ex. I’ve told you what to look for in a healthy relationship and from what you’ve said, you’ve found that. On top of that, you’ve created your own family. It’s truly remarkable. You’ve managed to do something that takes others years in mere months.”
“Are you saying you think I no longer need therapy?”
The therapist laughs. “Everyone needs therapy. Some more than others. I don’t think our time is over yet. Now tell me, will you do it?”
I nod. “I think I will.”
“Alright. Next week I expect you to give me an update on how you feel about it.”
“Okay.” I smile. “Bye.”
As soon as she signs off, I sigh.
I don’t even know what I want to say to them, but I know I need to. Not just for me but for Harrison.
Reaching forward, I grab a notebook and find a blank piece of paper. Grabbing a pen, I set it on the paper and I begin to write.
Mom & Dad,
My therapist encouraged me to write to you. Said it was the last thing I needed to do before closing that chapter of my life. I’m only doing this because my partner and the family we’ve created deserve the very best version of myself. You do that for those you love, but you wouldn’t understand that.
All I ever wanted as a child was to be seen and heard by you, but I never got that. You made me feel like an inconvenience. You didn’t ask about my day or what I was interested in. If I tried, you told me I talked too much and walked away.
When I first moved away, I was desperate for love. I fell into the arms of the first man I found only to end up in an abusive relationship. He beat me and demanded I be seen and not heard, just like you. I got myself out though.
I found a man and a family who love me for me. They encourage me to be loud and speak my opinion. They always stop and listen when I talk. I have their complete attention and devotion and they have mine.
I’m happy now. I know what a healthy relationship looks like thanks to some of our friends. My partner shows me every day what love looks and feels like. I hope you know what that feels like and if you don’t, well I hope you find it.
I wish you nothing but the best, but please don’t reach out.
Goodbye,
Natalie
With a shaky hand, I set down the pen and reread what I just wrote. I’m tempted to go back and rewrite things and add to it, but these are my thoughts and feelings in that moment. They deserve my raw, unfiltered honesty.
I dig through Harrison’s desk and find a blank envelope. After placing it inside and sealing it shut, I sit back in my chair.
The only thing left is to mail it, and I know just the man to ask.
“Hey Trigger, can I talk to you for a second?” I give a small smile to the other men in the group he was chatting with.
“Of course.” He pulls away, letting me lead him out of the main room into a side room no one is using at the moment.
“What can I do for you, Queen Bee?”
“I was wondering if you could look up the information for my parents and then mail this letter for me.”
I hold out the envelope to him. He gives me a small smile.
“Of course. I can do it right now if you need.”
I shake my head. “It can wait. I haven’t spoken to them in many years.”
He nods as if he understands. Maybe he does.
Then an idea hits me.
“You’re really good at that hacking stuff, right?” I ask.
He snorts, “I do well, yes.”
“Could you erase a person? Make them no longer exist?”
He narrows his eyes. “I can. Why?”
“Could you maybe erase my existence? Make it so no one would be able to find me. Or like change my name or something? I’m not really sure how it works.”
He frowns. “I can do that if you really want me to.”
I smile. “I do. Like do I get new papers or something? A new social or license?”
He nods slowly. “A whole packet of documents to make your identity legitimate. By the time I’m done, it’ll be like you never existed.”
I nibble on my lower lip. “Could I keep my first name?”
He looks confused now. “Yeah.”
“Okay good. Can you do that for me? Whenever you can?”
He nods again. “Sure thing. I’m going to go drop this off in my room.”
He holds up the letter.
“Thank you. Oh and can you mail it out from the post office? Maybe one not around here. I don’t want them to be able to track me.”
He nods once more before leaving.
Heading back to the main room, I smile. It’s as if a weight has been lifted off my chest.
I make my way to the bar, grabbing a stool next to Evelyn and Tara.
“Hey ladies.”
“Hey, how was therapy?” Evelyn asks.
“It was therapy.” I smile and turn toward Tara.
“How are you feeling?”
She smiles softly. “I’m good. Still a little stiff, but I’m getting there.”
Ten minutes later, the door opens. I turn to see who steps inside and can’t help but smile.
Harrison Kingston.
Reaper.
My man.
He stalks toward me, looking angry.
I smile up at him and use his road name since we are with everyone. “Hey Reap.”
He picks me up from my stool, making me gasp as he walks backward until he has me pinned to the wall. Then his lips crash down on mine.
thirty
“The shipment was delivered without an issue. The Medinas are happy with the condition and timeliness. They’ve said they have stopped entertaining the Renegade’s offer. They have solidified their position with us,” Colt informs me.
“Good. Anything else we need to know?” I ask, looking at Wrath.
They both shake their heads.
“Let’s head out then.”
I’m about to get on my bike when my phone rings. Seeing Trigger’s name, I answer.
“What’s up?”
“I don’t want to alarm you, but Natalie came to me with a request.”
“Okay? She knows your family. I’m not mad that she came to you and not me. I’m happy she trusts you.”
He hesitates. “It wasn’t something normal. I think you might need to check in with her.”
“What do you mean? Get to the point.”
He sighs. “I’m not sure why. I didn’t ask, but she asked for a whole new identity.”
I frown at Trigger’s words.
I thought she understood. Guess not. She will understand though.
“I’ll take care of it. Keep her there.”
I hang up, indicating to the guys that we need to go. They both heard my side of the conversation and know it’s something to do with Natalie.
It’s not a long ride back to the compound from our warehouse. Wrath is at my side, following me. I know he’s just making sure I don’t do something I’ll regret. Colt is there too, but he seems distracted. I can’t get in his shit right now. I need to fix my own first.
I barely have the bike off before I march toward the clubhouse doors.
As soon as I step inside, my eyes find hers. She smiles up at me, only pissing me off more.
“Hey Reap.”
The words leave her mouth, but I’m not interested in them right now. Instead, I pick her up and walk her to the closest wall.
Then I seal my lips onto hers.
She answers my kiss right away, letting me lead it. When she feels like putty in my hands, I lean back, resting my forehead on hers.
“What about the word mine do you not get? Do I need to spell it out for you? Spank your ass red until you understand it? Maybe get it tattooed on you?”
She frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“I told you if you leave, I leave. If you want to leave me, you’re going to have to kill me because I won’t let you go. I don’t care if it sounds toxic as fuck. If it’s over the top and too possessive. The only way you leave me is if I’m dead. So make your decision.”
I pull my gun out, turning it until it’s in her hand, pressed against my chest. She tries to pull away, but I don’t let her.
I realize I’m being irrational. Maybe even scaring her, especially with her past, but the thought of her leaving me has driven me past my breaking point. I can’t do this without her. I can’t live a life without her.
“Jesus, Harrison. What’s wrong with you? I’m not trying to leave you. Please put the fucking gun away, you psycho,” she hisses at me but keeps her tone low.
She shouldn’t bother. Everyone is listening to every single word spoken.
“You asked Trigger for a new identity.”
Her eyes widen then soften. “That rat bastard,” she mumbles to herself. “I was going to tell you tonight. I’ve made a decision. I want to leave the old Natalie in the past. I want to be the woman you made me into. So I asked him to erase Natalie Fairless so that she never existed and give me a new last name. I was never going to leave you. This is just something I need to heal.”
I swallow hard, finally taking the gun back and holding it out until someone grabs it. “You want a new last name?”
She nods slowly.
“Take my last name and make it yours then.”
She gasps, her hand flying to her lips.
“You’re already my old lady in the eyes of the club, but be my wife.”
“I don’t want Natalie Fairless to have ever existed though. I don’t want anyone ever to be able to find her,” she whispers, looking down.
I nudge her chin up. “So we get rid of her. Say you’ll take my last name though. Be mine.”
She smiles. “I’m already yours, but yes. I’ll take your last name.”
I growl, leaning in to kiss her on the lips before pulling back.
“Chap,” I holler to our chaplin.
“Right here, Reaper,” he tells me.
I glance over at him.
“Marry us right now. Trigger make it legal.”
They both agree quickly.
“Can you at least let me stand on my own two feet? Do this semi-traditional?” Natalie teases.
I shake my head. “I don’t want you to be anywhere but in my arms.”
She smirks. “Whatever you say, caveman.”
Chaplin smiles widely as he takes us in.
“Since this wasn’t planned, I will keep it quick and to the point. Do you, Reaper,” he starts, but I stop him.
“Harrison. Legally, Chap.”
He nods. “Do you, Harrison Kingston, take Natalie to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward. Through all the ups and downs that will no doubt come with this life we lead. Will you lay your life on the line for hers and promise to make each day better than the last? Will you love her until your dying breath?”
“I will. I do. I will love her for eternity,” I tell him, staring into her eyes.
She’s crying, but the smile on her face makes my heart beat faster.
“Do you, Natalie Fairless, take Harrison as your lawfully wedded husband, accepting him for the flawed man he is but knowing he would die for you? Through all the good days, but even more on the harder ones. Will you clean his wounds and tend to him until he is back to good health? Will you give him your all, knowing that he will always catch you?”
“I do. Always and forever,” she says the words with conviction.
I smile at the strength in her. She came to me as a broken woman, but now she is a queen.
My queen.
“Then I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
And I do. Over and over again until she is breathless. Until the sounds of our cheering family fades.
I kiss her until my lips are sore and the breath in my lungs has become hers.
I give her my all and accept her in return.
In this moment, I feel we have truly become one entity.
“I love you,” she whispers against my lips when I finally pull back.
“Words cannot describe the way I feel. You own me, Queen Bee.”
“As you do me.”
In that moment, I couldn’t be happier.
“Mrs. Kingston, may I introduce you to your new home?” Harrison says as he carries me over the threshold.
He demanded I let him carry me. We are married after all.
We stayed and partied with the family for a little bit, but then he stole me away. He said he couldn’t wait another second to get me alone.
I thought he was taking me back to our room.
I was wrong.
“You are going to let me live here?” I ask him.
He chuckles. “You’re my old lady. My wife now. This is your home too. I want us to move in here. I know you still have a lot of stuff going on at the club, but I’ll get you a car, or hell, assign you someone to always drive you around. I want you here in our new bed every night. I want you to decorate this place and give it your touches. I want to know every day when I walk into this house that it’s a home where we live together. Say you’ll move here with me.”
I shake my head at his antics. “You dummy. Of course I’ll move in here with you. I loved this place the minute you brought me here months ago. Back then, I hated thinking about you having someone else here. I wanted it to be my place, even if I was scared to admit it. I love that you want to give that to me.”
“I want to take care of you. It might seem silly as hell, but my biggest turn-on with you is when you let me do things for you. Getting you a drink. Cuddling you. Making you food. Tending to your wounds. All of it makes me feel like you need me. It’s a kink I never even realized I had until you.”
I snort. “So if I told you to give me a foot rub right now?”
He drops to his knees, pulling my foot up to take off my shoes.
“I was kidding. Stop it.”
He chuckles as I kick him.
“Baby, I need you to get naked now. I want to own you.”
Pulling my bottom lip into my mouth, I look up at him. “Do you think maybe we can try a blow job first? I know it’s a trigger for me, but I want to work past it.”
He nods as he stands. Then he takes my hand, pulling me into the living room. He begins to undress, prompting me to do the same.
When we are both naked, he pulls a pillow from the couch and lies on the floor in front of him.
“This is all about you, so don’t worry about me,” he tells me, pulling me in for a kiss.
I kiss him back before sinking to my knees.
For a brief second, I have a flash of William.
Then I look up and see the man who loves me standing above me.
My life is so different now. He is different.
Slowly, I reach out, grabbing his dick. Then I lick the tip. Taking my time, I suck him into my mouth. I don’t do it for long. I’m not completely healed from my trauma, but the few minutes I manage are enough for me. It’s enough for me to know that I hold all the power. I might not be one hundred percent yet, but I’m getting there a little more each day.
I’m slightly shaking from the attempt, but Harrison holds me through it, letting me calm myself back down. He whispers words of reassurance to me. Telling me how much he loves me. How brave I am.
He is the perfect man.
When I finally feel up to it, he makes love to me. Not fast and rough like I love, but something more intimate.
Slow. Steady. He stares into my eyes, and I stare into his.
When we reach our peak, we do so together, both calling out the other’s name.
It’s exactly what I needed.
Then again, Harrison always gives me what I need.
epilogue
Two Months Later
“Please, Harrison. Stop teasing me,” I moan, trying to arch up into him.
His hand presses down on my stomach. “Patience, Queen Bee.”
My eyes fall closed as he sucks my clit into his mouth. God, he loves to drive me insane.
Everyone keeps saying the honeymoon phase will wear off, but I have yet to see it yet. Harrison is insatiable. He’s constantly trying to find somewhere to fuck me.
