Reaper: Lotus MC Motorcycle Romance, page 12
The sound of grunting has me wanting to flee in fear, but then I hear it. The rhythmic pounding of flesh. Making my way down the hall, I see the warehouse opens into a large room filled with exercise equipment and a large boxing ring. The source of the sound is standing in the corner, beating his fists against a large bag hanging in front of him.
I gasp as the force of his punches hits the bag so hard the chains rattle as it swings.
He swings to face me, his face pouring sweat, his brows furrowed.
“What are you doing in here?”
I jump at the anger in his tone. I don’t know this man. He looks familiar, but he was never introduced to me. He’s one of the men who were with Harrison the night I met him.
“I’m sorry.” I cast my eyes down before turning.
“Wait.”
Instinctively I pause. After the last year, I can’t help but listen, my feet refusing to move even though everything in me screams to run.
I hear him sigh before he starts moving. I keep my eyes on the ground until his shoes are in my eyesight.
“Can you look at me?” he asks quietly, his tone no longer angry.
I do as he asks, looking up into his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I’m angry and I lashed out at you. You didn’t deserve that. I hate that I made you feel like you had to make yourself feel smaller because of me. You know that you don’t have to do that, right?”
He waits for me to nod before he continues.
“You don’t have to make yourself any different than who you are. We accept you here. No one will ever hurt you again. If they do, they will have to go through us and trust me, darling, no one wants to deal with us. We are a ferocious bunch.”
I swallow hard. “I think I know that in my head, but sometimes I can’t help my reactions.”
He reaches his hand out. “I’m Wrath. Reaper’s sergeant at arms. Basically his right-hand man.”
I take his hand gently, letting him shake it.
“Natalie. His charity case,” I whisper.
His eyes turn angry, making me flinch. He lets go of my hand softly though.
“I’d never hurt you. You don’t need to flinch with me. You never have been or will be a charity case. I can tell you that Reap doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to. He wouldn’t take you on as some charity case, so get that out of your head.”
I nod, but I don’t believe his words. After everything I’ve been through, I don’t trust myself to make the right judgment call, no matter what they say.
“Do you know self-defense?” Wrath asks suddenly.
I shake my head no.
He smiles. “How about I teach you? Give you some of your power back. Maybe if you know how to stop an attack, you won’t feel so scared all the time. Would you be okay with that?”
I consider his words. Would it make me feel better if I knew how to defend myself from William? I think it might.
“I’d like to try it,” I finally answer him.
He smiles, and it transforms his face. It makes him look less intimidating and part of me wants to tell him he should smile more often, but I won’t because I hate it when men tell women to do that.
“Perfect. How about every day at this time we meet here? No one ever comes at this time because they know I like to work out alone. I can teach you some things, whatever you are comfortable with. If I can’t make it, I’ll make sure to tell you.”
“I don’t want to interrupt your time.”
“Trust me, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to,” he says sincerely.
“Okay.”
“You aren’t dressed for hand on hand today, so how about I teach you the proper technique for a punch.”
And he does. For the next hour, he watches me as I now punch the bag, critiquing me without touching me as we go. By the time we are done, I feel better. It’s not much, but I feel like I have taken the next step to my recovery. I no longer feel hopeless. I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m going to chase it.
thirteen
Wrath didn’t like being left behind, but I feel better knowing he’s there with Natalie. He will take care of her as if she was his.
My fingers itch to check in one last time before heading into the casino, but I resist the urge. I need to focus on what’s in front of me.
Walking inside the casino, I barely withhold my smirk. There are tons of security around. We continue walking as if we are any other patrons, but the biggest one steps in front of me to stop me.
“We don’t allow weapons in here. I am going to have to detain you.”
I tilt my head. “I have no weapons on me.”
“You won’t mind if I check then?”
“Go ahead,” I say smugly.
Holding my hands up, I let him run his hands over my body. The fucker goes as far as cupping my junk, making me want to knee him in the face, but I withhold. This is all part of the game Danworth wants to play.
The man reluctantly leaves me to search my men. When he finds nothing, he looks frustrated.
“Can we go now? I believe you have someone here waiting for me. Care to direct me to Mr. Danworth?”
His face clears. “He’s in room thirty-three twenty. Tell him that he needs to pack his things and go. We do not appreciate false reports in this casino.”
Good. He thinks Danworth lied to him. He didn’t mean to. He was sure I’d fly off the handle. I know why. He thinks I’m the kid he left behind. He doesn’t realize I grew up.
“Will do.”
Leaving him in the lobby, we head toward the elevators. It doesn’t take long to find ourselves outside his suite.
He opens on the second knock.
“You came unarmed. I’m surprised. I thought you wanted my head on a platter.”
I push him back, inviting myself into his room.
He’s not alone. He has several Renegade members with him.
“I wouldn’t suggest you touch me again, Kingston. My friends here have orders to shoot first.”
“You are banished. What are you doing back here?”
He lets out a boisterous laugh. “You foolish man. I’m banished from your territory. Last I checked, you don’t own Vegas.”
“I told you if I ever saw your face again I’d kill you. So what are you doing here?”
“I’m home now. Conducting business. Now I hear you have something that belongs to me. I would appreciate it if you would give it back.”
It’s my turn to snort. “Nope. Can’t say I’ve acquired anything that belongs to you so I think you better back off. Stop sending people by my compound. The last one didn’t quite make it back, did they?”
I hint at the prospect the Renegades sent to spy on us. He’s living six feet under currently in the middle of the desert.
“Don’t play coy. It doesn’t fit a man of your stature. Natalie. That bitch is mine and I want her back. She’s dumber than a box of rocks, but she’s pretty. She’s going to birth my children.”
My blood is boiling at the way he speaks about her, but I don’t fall for his game. He wants me to be impulsive.
“I think that might be a problem. You see, I’ve been pumping her so full of my cum that she’s practically drowning in it. She loves it too. Begs me for it really. She doesn’t even remember your name. So you’re not going to get her back. I’ve decided I’m going to keep her,” I taunt him.
I hate saying the words. The burn like ash in my throat, but it has the desired effect.
He’s pissed now. I can tell by the way he tenses.
“She always was a little whore,” he spits out, his fists clenching at his sides.
“Nah, she’s more like old lady material. She only creams so good for her man. That never was you, Billy buddy.” I use the nickname he hated growing up.
“I’m going to kill you, Kingston.”
I shrug. “I’d like to see you try.”
“I killed Jimmy easily enough.”
I bite my cheek so hard I taste blood at his admission. I always knew something was up with the way that run went. Now I know what it was.
“We were kids. You didn’t stay and kill me then. You ran with your tail tucked between your legs. I think you will find I’m much harder to kill now.”
“A bullet still stops a heart from beating no matter how invincible the man thinks he is.”
“I think you might want to remember that yourself.”
He looks down at his phone when it rings. He frowns.
I felt my own vibrate right before so I am guessing whatever he had planned fell through. I wonder how many holes we will be digging tonight.
“Well it seems like you’re busy. I’ll be seeing you around, William. Count on it.”
He grits his teeth. “Trust me. You will be seeing me sooner than you think.”
“I hope so. I think your head would make the perfect wedding gift for my woman. We could even stuff it and put it on the wall so she can see you every single day and know you will never touch her again.”
I can tell he wants to say something else, but he withholds. It disappoints me.
I turn, leaving the room with my men.
This little meeting has informed me of so much. He’s working with the Renegades, but none of them stepped in to help with this little power play.
It was almost like they were watching him instead of watching out for him.
Nothing is as it seems.
I wait until we are back at our bikes to look at my phone.
Wrath: Six men tried to hit the gate. Took all but two down. No one but us noticed. All good here.
I smirk. He really thought I would be dumb enough to leave her unprotected.
Turning to Trigger, I tell him, “We have a lot more research to do. That wasn’t the meeting with a leader.”
“No it wasn’t. Seemed more like a meeting with a lackey,” he admits.
I nod once. “When we get back, I want to debrief Wrath. We are missing something. Something big I think.”
“I think so too.”
As I climb on my bike, all I can hope is that I can protect the club and Natalie from whatever it is because if it comes down to it, I’m not sure the club is my first priority anymore.
I don’t know where Harrison is, but after leaving Wrath, I head back into the clubhouse. The place is full of men, which makes me uncomfortable. Usually this early, it’s still pretty empty.
I push through it though.
After making the deal with Harrison, I’ve been really concentrating on making myself better. I’m still afraid of William, but I can’t keep putting my life on hold for fear of him. I’m letting him win.
Or that’s what my therapist says. I think I’m starting to believe it myself.
So during today’s session, I broached the subject of being more social.
“I think it’s a great idea for you to meet new people. Right now, your trust has been broken so you are hesitant to get to know anyone. You don’t even trust yourself. So you need to learn to trust yourself before you can truly trust another.”
I nod at the screen. “There are a couple of girls around here that seem nice. I could start with them.”
She nods, and her glasses slip. “I think that’s a good first step, but you’ve never had issues with women. They are your comfort zone. I think it would be good for you to try and make a friend who is male. Remember that you can’t trust your instincts right now. They are in fight or flight mode, so rely on other tells. What are some red flags you can look for?”
“Being too touchy-feely. I don’t think I would trust a man who wanted to have his hands on me all the time. Not if we’ve just met.”
“That’s a good one. Especially if you set the expectation that you would like your space. What’s another?”
“Violence. If they are quick to anger or raise a fist, I don’t think that’s a good thing.”
“With your past, I can see why this would be an immediate red flag. Any others?”
“We talked about gaslighting before. Can you remind me of what to look out for?”
She smiles. “Of course. If they are trying to make you believe your recollection of events is different than you believe. Acting like you are overreacting when you are having an appropriate response to a situation. Trying to convince you that you are wrong. Making you doubt yourself and your ability to see the situation for what it is.”
I take a deep breath. “Okay. I think then I would look for a man to do those things to me. I have to be confident in myself and know that I cannot always take someone at their word. I need to reflect upon myself and see how I feel about it.”
“It’s always a good idea to check in with yourself no matter the situation. Until you can learn to trust your gut again, you have these tools to analyze the situation.”
“I think I am going to try this out. Maybe on a smaller scale. Start with a group of people I already kind of know. Work up to something bigger.”
“Baby steps are still steps. What were you thinking?”
“Where I’m staying, they have some get-togethers sometimes. I could see if my friend would take me. Get to know some of the guys I haven’t met yet in a controlled situation.”
“That sounds like a safe way to explore. Do you think this friend will? Do you trust him to respect your boundaries?”
I nod. “He has been respectful of every boundary I’ve set so far. He’s the one who set all of this up for me. I believe he truly wants me to get better. To be more myself, whoever that is now.”
“Sounds like to me you identified a green flag. Someone who is taking an interest in you in a purely selfless way.”
I want to scoff. Do I believe he is truly selfless? No. I think he has his own reasons for doing what he is doing, but I’ll take it for now.
“There is this other guy here I met. He seemed violent at first, but I think it is because I found him at the gym. He has been kind and offered to teach me self-defense. I think I could learn to trust him too. He hasn’t done anything to make me feel uncomfortable.”
“This is news. Are you saying you didn’t immediately feel the need to run?”
I shake my head. “At first I cowered, but after speaking with him for a few minutes, I relaxed. I feel like he is trustworthy. Something about him screams protector. You know what I mean? He didn’t try to hurt me, but instead offered to teach me skills to protect myself.”
“That sounds promising. Is that something you want?”
I nod. “I want to know how to defend myself should the occasion arise. I never want to feel helpless again.”
“Perfect. These are all steps in the right direction. When do you see him again?”
I rub my lips together. “We train tomorrow morning, but I know he will be at the get-together tonight.”
“Good. If you feel comfortable, you should go. You will have people you know who can be your safety net while expanding your horizons a bit.”
I let out the breath I was holding. “I think I want to try. I’m not sure I’ll like it, but I would like to at least make the effort.”
“I want to hear all about it at our next session. We have a few more minutes. Is there anything else you want to discuss?”
I shake my head no.
“Okay. Same time next week unless you need me sooner.”
“Talk to you next week.”
Closing down the laptop, I resolve myself to leaving my room tonight. I don’t know when Harrison will be back, but Wrath mentioned yesterday that he was looking forward to the party tonight. I think it’s one of the other guys’ birthday or something.
I can do this. I can be social without freaking out.
Giving myself one last pep talk, I get up and start going through the little bit of clothes I have.
If I’m going to do this, I’m going to try and look good at least.
fourteen
“Need help?” I ask as I approach.
Wrath looks over his shoulder and wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.
“Help me lift this heavy bastard?”
I grab the guy’s legs as Wrath grabs his arms and we toss him into the shallow grave.
Grunting, I wipe my hands on my jeans. “That asshole was heavier than I thought he was going to be.”
“Dead weight.” He raises his arm and shields his eyes from the sun. “I figured leave the graves open for a few days, let nature do its things.”
“Sounds good. Where is everyone?”
“I sent them back to the clubhouse to clean up. I figured if everyone were to disappear, your girl would get suspicious.”
“Good call.”
Wrath turns toward me with his hands on his hips. “Are you going to keep me waiting or are you going to tell me how it went?”
“When we first walked in, we were met with security.”
“Smart move on his part warning the casino ahead of time.”
While standing under the heat of the sun I fill him in on what happened or what didn’t.
“That’s interesting.” He rubs his jaw. “He’s playing the part, but he is just a middleman.”
“If that.” I nod. “One of the guys who got away texted him right when you messaged me. He didn’t seem happy.”
Wrath’s lips tilt up. “I wouldn’t have been too happy either if I sent guys out and most of them didn’t come back. I’m still pissed that two got away though.”
“Next time.”
“Next time.” He nods. “So what next? Are we making a move?”
“Unfortunately we’re going to wait and see what he does next. We can’t do anything while he’s on the strip. Trigger stuck one of the micro cameras on the wall right inside the door with audio. Hopefully we pick something up.”
“By the sounds of it, they are just sloppy enough they will be.” Wrath looks me up and down. “You good?”
“I’m fine.”
“You look a little tense,” he teases.
“I need to go for a ride. Clear my head.”
“I’m pretty sure there's a pretty little thing back at the clubhouse who would like to go on a ride too.”
I shake my head. “Tempting, but not after what just happened. I need her to lay low for now.”
