I lift my hand up and almost hesitate before I lay my hand down on his head. I'm not sure if he wants this comfort or not but there's only one way to find out. I stroke his luscious hair, the black strands weaving through my fingers. Then I smell roses and lavender, I lean my head down and smell my shoulder. The smell is definitely coming from me, but how is that possible? We were on the road for awhile, and I was passed out for a week, so I haven't been able to take a bath.

  I move my head so I can peek at his face a little. "Did you give me a sponge bath while I was passed out?" My cheeks heat as the words leave my lips, did he see me naked already?

  He solemnly nods his head but there's no other reaction. No snarky comment, nothing. I'd almost felt violated that he bathed me without my permission, but his reaction cut down the feeling before it could bloom. It feels like a hand wraps around my heart. What's going on with him? We both sit there in silence for a minute as I stroke his hair before I realize his shoulders are shaking. Is he crying?

  I gently grab his shoulder and sit forward, and the blue, silk sheets almost sigh as I push him back into a straightened position. As he sits up straight I see the glimmer of tears on his cheeks. When we lock eyes I see his are full of tears and blood red. He must have been crying for a long time for them to be this red, more than just the little bit he's done now. I was so enthralled by the color of his eyes earlier I didn't even notice. I would be embarrassed at my pig headedness if I wasn't so worried about him.

  "Hey, what's wrong? Are you all right? What happened?"

  He dips his head back down and violently shakes his head before launching himself on top of me again. I'm thrown back onto the plush bed, my head grazing the headboard. His arms are wrapped around me solidly like a serpent, but also softly enough to not hurt. He buries his face into my shoulder and inhales deeply. I move my arm and he releases barely enough for me to pull my arm out from his grasp, before he locks his arms back down on my body. His body wracks with tears.

  I bring my hand up and begin stroking his hair once more. I shush him, trying to comfort him. "Shh. It's okay. I'm right here."

  He lifts his head a fraction of an inch and I barely make out what he says through his trembling voice, "You were dead!"

  I pull back as much as I can, trying to gaze into his face. "What? What are you talking about? I'm fine, I'm right here, Allister."

  He dives his face back into my shoulder and shakes his head.

  I begin rubbing his head again feeling his silky hair under my hand and I give him I squeeze him before saying, "I'm right here. Nothing happened to me, I only slept a little too long, that's it."

  He huffs out a big sigh before rolling on his side. He rolls me over with him, making our chests meet and I'm gazing up into his face. Even with the snot spilling out of his nose it's a glorious sight. I swear this man has no flaws.

  He wraps his leg around my lower half, his arms still around my top half. I should feel embarrassed, but after all we've been through and all we've shared this seems like the most natural thing possible.

  He shakes his head, his hair rubbing on the soft down sheets beneath us. "No Attina. You died out there with the werewolf."

  I furrow my brows. What is he talking about? Obviously I didn't die. I'm right here in his arms talking to him. No, I couldn't have died. Right? I do remember thinking I was dying but then I woke up here in this soft bed. I'm alive right? I run my hand through his hair again, the motion grounding me somehow, reminding me this is real. "What are you talking about? I'm so confused. Spit it out Allister. You're freaking me out."

  He pushes me away and stares intently into my eyes. "When I made it to you, you had already hit the ground."

  I roll my eyes. "Yes, I remember and then you picked me up and I passed out. The next thing I know, I'm waking up here."

  His eyes tighten and narrow as they grow hard. He moves to lie in the bed next to me, facing me. "No, Attina, you died in my arms."

  I shake my head, shock washing over me. I know he believes what he's saying. There's no other explanation for how he's behaving. He's acting like I did when I thought he died, like he really thought his mate left him forever.

  "You did. You told me you loved me and stopped breathing. I couldn't hear your heartbeat. There was nothing I could do. I don't have your magic. I couldn't bring you back the way you did with me. I tried breathing air into your lungs and pushing on your chest to get your heart beating but nothing worked."

  My breath catches. I have to push through a knot in my throat to get the words out as I say, "How am I alive then?"

  He pulls me back into him and I shove my head against his chest suddenly insecure. I'm not sure what I'm insecure about but it's the best way to describe what I'm feeling right now.

  "I picked you up and raced you to the Eastern Fae stronghold. I ran through the gate screaming for a healer. One came to my aid, but he could do nothing for you. He pronounced you dead as I sat on the ground with you in my arms." At this point in the story he completely breaks down again. His body wracks with the sobs coming out of him, but by now they're more like pained screams than actual sobs.

  I get a flash in my mind of the scene. Allister on the ground. His face covered in dirt and grime, with my limp body in his arms. The ground around us is covered in frost and ice. My clothing is torn away in spots, which I assume happened when I released all of my power. My face is pale as a ghost, my chest unmoving. A blonde man in a long black robe bends over me and places his hands out flat, against my chest for a moment. The man then peers up at Allister with a drawn, sad face and shakes his head. Allister throws his head back and lets out the most guttural, pained scream I've ever heard a man scream. Ice covers everything in sight and snow begins falling heavily. His water powers unleashed from the pain inside his heart.

  I huff out a breath, throwing my arms around him. I wrench my arms down on Allister until my arms feel like they will pop from my shoulders. I rub my face into his chest as tears fill my eyes. In his memory I sense the pain and anguish he felt when he realized I was dead.

  "I'm so sorry I put you through all that, Allister. No one should have to suffer through the pain of thinking they lost their mate."

  Allister pulls away from me once more. I gaze up at my mate. We sure are a pair in this moment. Both of us weeping like babies with snot running down our noses. He leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips, tears and snot mingling together.

  We stay intertwined for what feels like hours, but I eventually pull back and gaze into his reddened eyes. I need answers. "So, how did I come back to life?"

  His face pinches and he shakes his head. "I'm not sure. I brought you down into the infirmary. The Fae here keep their dead there, in a separate room from the patients, until they can build a pyre. I was there with you. I refused to leave you." He chuckles as he says, "I actually punched Ned in the face."

  I push on his chest and pull back further, my body sliding against the bed sheet. "You did what? Wait, what were Ned and Raven doing during all this?"

  "Raven was being seen by another healer so she had no idea what was happening. Ned was right there with me. I came through the gate, and he was right behind me the whole time."

  Makes sense why I didn't see him in the memory.

  "When you died and I broke, he tried to comfort me." He now has the good sense to appear a little ashamed. His cheeks slightly heat, and he wraps his arms around himself. "When I finally moved to get up, he tried to take you from me to help me stand up." His eyes break contact with mine like he's uncomfortable. "He didn't even touch you before I punched him square in the mouth."

  "Allister!" I shriek as I push on his chest. "He was only trying to help!"

  His eyes turn soft as he looks directly at me, the intensity of his stare making my cheeks flush. "I know. It was just an instinctual thing. I wasn't angry with him but you're my mate and I'd lost you. I thought he was trying to take you from me. Or at least that's what my body was telling me." He then quickly adds on, "He doesn't even have a bruise anymore!"

  I quirk my eyebrow and tilt my head. "You still have to apologize."

  He shakes his head and I open my mouth to argue but he cuts me off. "I already did. He understands. He even said he shouldn't have done what he did. We're fine, there's no ill will between us. You don't have to worry; our family is still intact." Then he leans down and kisses me on the forehead.

  "Where are Hazel and Talon? You said Mylo is stuck to Raven's side but what happened to them?"

  "Talon is in a cage in the dungeon. Ned made sure they put him somewhere he couldn't escape and explained who the bird was. Hazel, on the other hand, I'm not sure about. She took off before I brought you back and I haven't seen her since. I'm not sure if she even knows what happened."

  "She knows; she has to know. That bird knows everything," I answer as I place my forehead on his chest. I breathe in the forest-like scent which is distinctly Allister.

  He pulls my head into him and asks, "So how do you feel?"

  I think for a second. "Tired. But otherwise, I feel fine, maybe even stronger."

  "Stronger?" he asks as he holds me away from him, his head cocked.

  "Yes. I can't be sure but something inside of me feels more... grounded I guess? I'm not really sure how to explain it." I reach up and grab at my necklace, insecurity washing over me. "There's... also something else I need to tell you."

  Allister places his finger under my chin and lifts my head until our eyes meet "What is it, love?"

  My eyes bulge as I croak out, "Love?"

  He chuckles. "Yes, love. I've accidentally blurted it out once and you said it before you died. I think I'm allowed to call you love now." I gulp in a sharp breath. I completely forgot I did that. How did I forget such a major thing? Oh yeah cuz I was dying. My whole body heats, starting at my head and drifting all the way down to my toes. I must be beet red by now.

  Allister moves up onto the arm underneath him so he's hovering over me. His face is pinched in confusion. "You don't remember telling me you loved me do you?"

  I quietly and quickly shake my head. "No, not at all."

  "Oh." His shoulders fall in on themselves as he visibly deflates.

  I quickly wiggle out from under him as I scan around the room, gazing at the gray brick walls, the vaulted ceiling, and the sconces on the wall. Staring anywhere other than his face. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be vulnerable like this. "I mean it's not untrue... I just..."

  He crawls back over me, and his hand moves my face back to his. His eyes show an intensity I haven't seen in awhile. He slowly reaches over me, encasing me, leaving me no room to escape. Not like I would if I could, though. The realization surprises me, I thought I'd be nervous being this vulnerable, but I find I'm not.

  He leans down and gently places his lips on mine. The warm electricity when our lips meet is intoxicating. How can kissing someone feel this wonderful? Our mouths move, every movement brings a new sensation. His tongue grazes my lips and I invite him in. I throw my arm around his back, grabbing onto the back of his black tunic, pulling him into me. He groans into my lips, his tongue thrusting inside my mouth before he gently pulls away and placing his forehead on mine, both of us now breathing heavily.

  I decide I’m done being timid with him. I grab on to him, pushing him sideways, rolling him off of me. I seize the chance and climb on top of him, his strong body rubbing against my thighs.

  He will be mine.

  35

  ATTINA

  I want this.

  I will not die again without making this man mine. I lean down and press my lips against his. Electricity shoots through them like it always does. I hope this doesn't ever change about us. I hope our kisses stay literally electrifying forever.

  He runs his hands up my legs and digs his fingers into my thighs. Goosebumps start where his fingers touch and spiral out, dotting the rest of my body. I deepen our kiss. He opens his mouth, allowing my tongue can mingle with his as his hands roam up my waist to palm my breast. I moan into his mouth.

  He must not want to ruin the moment so instead of pulling away to ask me something, he asks into my mind. Are you okay with this? You’re sure? You're not worried about your fire?

  I answer back in his mind as I pull away slightly, placing kisses on his cheek, his neck, down his chest. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I barely came back from the dead. I’m done being timid with my mate. You are mine and I intend to show you so. If I burn this bed down, so be it.

  He groans into my mouth as his motions become fevered. His hands move to cup my butt, grabbing on like he's worried I'll run away. The movement feels surprisingly pleasurable, making me grind against him. I feel the length of him underneath me and I realize I completely mean what I say. Even when it comes to this epic adventure. I started this to please other people, not for my own reasons. But right now I want this man for me, selfishly.

  Then all of a sudden Allister grabs me around the waist and back, throwing me onto my back. I gasp in surprise but before I know it, his lips are back on mine. He mirrors where I was just kissing him. His lips trail down to my chin, my neck, my chest. His strong hands roam down to my thighs, pulling up the gray tunic covering me, over my head. I lift my hands in the air, allowing him to gently slide the fabric off of me, leaving me bare beneath him. I'm incredibly exposed, but it feels right. It's like I'm exactly where I should be. Like I'm meant to be in this castle, with this man, in this moment.

  He sits up and a growl escapes him as his eyes rake down my body, taking in every bit of me. He pulls his black tunic over his head, leaving only his pants on as he flops his body down over me, on his hands again, like a bear covering its quarry. I watch as his bulging muscular arms and chest flex to hold his weight.

  “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, have I told you that before?”

  My cheeks heat and my mouth goes dry as I stutter out, “Umm…I…” But then I remember, this is my mate, I just said I was done being timid. I steel my back, unintentionally causing my breasts to push out. His eyes lock on my chest. I reach up, hooking my finger under his chin and pull his gaze to mine. “You’ve told me once before, but I’d love to hear it again.”

  He groans out, “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He leans down, putting one of my nipples in his mouth, sucking on it.

  I feel fire course through me as I arch my back and let out a loud moan. His hand drifts to the button on his pants and unbuttons them, he deftly shimmies them off. Then he opens my legs with his knees. When I look down and see his impressive length, my body goes weak and taut at the same time my mouth dries. Fire instantly flits through me, melting everything in its wake. Any doubt or embarrassment, gone in an instant.

  He crawls back over me and gently kisses me, making me moan. He pushes himself up against me, only stopping his feverish kisses long enough to stare into my eyes. "Are you sure about this?"

  I silently nod and he puts his mouth back on mine. I lift my arms and wrap them around his neck. Opening my eyes for a split second I see my skin is again red. I gasp and Allister pulls away. "Are you all right?"

  I don't answer him but by his reaction I know my face is just as red as my arms. I let go of his neck and turn my face away from him. Ready for him to pull away, to tell me it's too dangerous. But instead he grabs my chin in his fingers and pulls my face to his. "Do you realize how much of a turn on this is?"

  I shake my head, hope springing forth in my chest. "You don't think I'm strange?"

  "Strange?" His brows knit. "Are you kidding me? I'm turning my mate into liquid fire. This is the most amazing thing I've experienced in my life." His mouth is back on mine in a flash, drawing me to him, allowing our bodies to touch every inch of each other. My moan turns to a scream as he thrusts himself into me, making us one. Being so close with him, sharing this, feels right. I feel something click into place as he moves over me. His moans of pleasure make me want to scream loud enough for everyone in the castle to hear our love. He moves in me, over and over again, until I’m screaming his name in bliss.

  When we finish he rolls off of me and wraps his strong, now sweaty arms around me. I hear a crunching noise as he moves and a burned smell floats to my nose. I must have burned the sheets.

  Then, I feel his hot breath on the shell of my ear as he whispers, "Attina, I love you with everything I am and everything I will be. I will love you for the rest of my life, until my dying breath. I am yours until the stars fall from the sky and the ground beneath us turns to dust."

  My mouth goes dry as I lift my hands to his cheeks. I pull his head down to mine. I kiss him again as I feel tears slip down my face. "Allister," I say as I choke back a sob. He hears me and pulls back his eyes widened in shock. "I love you." I might never be as eloquent as he is, but I know my words hit home when he throws himself on top of me and wraps me in such a tight hug, I have to tap his shoulder like we used to do while sparring to tell the other one we gave up, they had won.

  He pulls back. "Did I grab you too tight?"

  I chuckle out, "Just a bit," as I sit up in bed. He follows me so we're sitting side by side in bed. "I need to tell you something."

  "Can't it wait?" he asks as he leans over and gently kisses my neck.

  I answer, "You're already ready again?" But as I move my body closer against him I can tell he's definitely already ready. How is such a thing possible? I move and expose my neck to him more. Give him more places for him to land those soft, luxurious kisses on. I almost give in, but this is too important. I straighten back up and raise my shoulder to my cheek, cutting off his ability to reach my neck. I grunt as I try to get my wits back about me, and clear my throat, "No Allister. I want you again, but this is important, it's about my magical animal."

  I notice those words get his attention as he stills. "What? What happened to it? Last you told me it had been bitten by that damn serpent."

 

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