COMPLEAT Collected SFF Works, page 247
"You fell down," the infant crowed in triumph. "You yelled and fell down."
Calderon looked at Myra, and his mouth tightened. "Did you do that on purpose?" he asked.
"Yes. She fell down. She looked funny."
"You're going to look a lot funnier in a minute. X Free super or not, what you need is a good paddling."
"Joe—" Myra said.
"Never mind. He's got to learn to be considerate of the rights of others."
"I'm homo superior," Alexander said, with the air of one clinching an argument.
"It's homo posterior I'm going to deal with," Calderon announced, and attempted to capture his son. There was a stinging blaze of jolting nervous energy that blasted up through his synapses; he went backwards ignominiously, and slammed into the wall, cracking his head hard against it. Alexander laughed like an idiot.
"You fell down, too," he crowed. "You look funny."
"Joe," Myra said. "Joe. Are you hurt?"
Calderon said sourly that he supposed he'd survive. Though, he added, it would probably be wise to lay in a few splints and a supply of blood plasma. "In case he gets interested in vivisection."
Myra regarded Alexander with troubled speculation. "You're kidding, I hope."
"I hope so, too."
"Well—here's Bordent. Let's talk to him."
-
Calderon answered the door. The four little men came in solemnly. They wasted no time. They gathered about Alexander, unfolded fresh apparatus from the recesses of their paper clothes, and set to work. The infant said, "I teleported her about eight thousand feet."
"That far, eh?" Quat said. "Were you fatigued at all?"
"Not a bit."
Calderon dragged Bordent aside. "I want to talk to you. I think Alexander needs a spanking."
"By voraster!" the dwarf said, shocked. "But he's Alexander! He's X Free type super!"
"Not yet. He's still a baby."
"But a superbaby. No, no, Joseph Calderon. I must tell you again that disciplinary measures can be applied only by sufficiently intelligent authorities."
"You?"
"Oh, not yet," Bordent said. "We don't want to overwork him. There's a limit even to super brain power, especially in the very formative period. He's got enough to do, and his attitudes for social contacts won't need forming for a while yet."
Myra joined them. "I don't agree with you there. Like all babies, he's antisocial. He may have superhuman powers but he's subhuman as far as mental and emotional balance go."
"Yeah," Calderon agreed. "This business of giving us electric shocks—"
"He's only playing," Bordent said.
"And teleportation. Suppose he teleports me to Times Square when I'm taking a shower?"
"It's only his play. He's a baby still."
"But what about us?"
"You have the hereditary characteristic of parental tolerance," Bordent explained. "As I told you before, Alexander and his race are the reason why tolerance was created in the first place. There's no great need for it with homo sap. I mean there's a wide space between normal tolerance and normal provocation. An ordinary baby may try his parents severely for a few moments at a time, but that's about all. The provocation is far too small to require the tremendous store of tolerance the parents have. But with the X Free type, it’s a different matter.”
“There's a limit even to tolerance, Calderon said. “I'm wondering about a crèche.”
Bordent shook his shiny metallic-sheathed head. "He needs you."
"But," Myra said, "but! Can't you give him just a little discipline?"
"Oh, it isn't necessary. His mind's still immature, and he must concentrate on more important things. You'll tolerate him."
"It's not as though he's our baby any more," she murmured. "He's not Alexander."
"But he is. That's just it. He's Alexander!"
"Look, it's normal for a mother to want to hug her baby. But how can she do that if she expects him to throw her halfway across the room?"
Calderon was brooding. "Will he pick up more ... more super powers as he goes along?"
"Why, yes. Naturally."
"He's a menace to life and limb. I still say he needs discipline. Next time I'll wear rubber gloves."
"That won't help," Bordent said, frowning. "Besides, I must insist ... no, Joseph Calderon, it won't do. You mustn't interfere. You're not capable of giving him the right sort of discipline—which he doesn't need yet anyway."
"Just one spanking," Calderon said wistfully. "Not for revenge. Only to show him he's got to consider the rights of others."
"He'll learn to consider the rights of other X Free supers. You must not attempt anything of the sort. A spanking—even if you succeeded, which is far from probable—might warp him psychologically. We are his tutors, his mentors. We must protect him. You understand?"
"I think so," Calderon said slowly. "That's a threat."
"You are Alexander's parents, but it's Alexander who is important. If I must apply disciplinary measures to you, I must."
"Oh, forget it," Myra sighed. "Joe, let's go out and walk in the park while Bordent's here."
"Be back in two hours," the little man said. "Good-by."
-
As time went past, Calderon could not decide whether Alexander's moronic phases or his periods of keen intelligence were more irritating. The prodigy had learned new powers; the worst of that was that Calderon never knew what to expect, or when some astounding gag would be sprung on him. Such as the time when a mess of sticky taffy had materialized in his bed, filched from the grocery by deft teleportation. Alexander thought it was very funny. He laughed.
And, when Calderon refused to go to the store to buy candy because he said he had no money—"Now don't try to teleport me. I'm broke."—Alexander had utilized mental energy, warping gravity lines shockingly. Calderon found himself hanging upside-down in midair, being shaken, while loose coins cascaded out of his pocket. He went after the candy.
Humor is a developed sense, stemming basically from cruelty. The more primitive a mind, the less selectivity exists. A cannibal would probably be profoundly amused by the squirmings of his victim in the seething kettle. A man slips on a banana peel and breaks his back. The adult stops laughing at that point, the child does not. And a civilized ego finds embarrassment as acutely distressing as physical pain. A baby, a child, a moron, is incapable of practicing empathy. He cannot identify himself with another individual. He is regrettably autistic; his own rules are arbitrary, and garbage strewn around the bedroom was funny to neither Myra nor Calderon.
There was a little stranger in the house. Nobody rejoiced. Except Alexander. He had a lot of fun.
"No privacy," Calderon said. "He materializes everywhere, at all hours. Darling, I wish you'd see a doctor."
"What would he advise?" Myra asked. "Rest, that's all. Do you realize it's been two months since Bordent took over?"
"And we've made marvelous progress," Bordent said, coming over to them. Quat was en rapport with Alexander on the carpet, while the other two dwarfs prepared the makings of a new gadget. "Or, rather, Alexander has made remarkable progress."
"We need a rest," Calderon growled. "If I lose my job, who'll support that genius of yours?" Myra looked at her husband quickly, noting the possessive pronoun he had used.
Bordent was concerned. "You are in difficulty?"
"The Dean's spoken to me once or twice. I can't control my classes any more. I'm too irritable."
"You don't need to expend tolerance on your students. As for money, we can keep you supplied. I'll arrange to get some negotiable currency for you."
"But I want to work. I like my job."
"Alexander is your job."
"I need a maid," Myra said, looking hopeless. "Can't you make me a robot or something? Alexander scares every maid I've managed to hire. They won't stay a day in this madhouse."
"A mechanical intelligence would have a bad effect on Alexander," Bordent said. "No."
"I wish we could have guests in once in a while. Or go out visiting. Or just be alone," Myra sighed.
"Some day Alexander will be mature, and you'll reap your reward. The parents of Alexander. Did I ever tell you that we have images of you two in the Great Fogy Hall?"
"They must look terrible," Calderon said. "I know we do now."
"Be patient. Consider the destiny of your son."
"I do. Often. But he gets a little wearing sometimes. That's quite an understatement."
"Which is where tolerance comes in," Bordent said. "Nature planned well for the new race."
"Mm-m-m."
"He is working on sixth-dimensional abstractions now. Everything is progressing beautifully."
"Yeah," Calderon said. And he went away, muttering, to join Myra in the kitchen.
Alexander worked with facility at his gadgets, his pudgy fingers already stronger and surer. He still had an illicit passion for the blue ovoid, but under Bordent's watchful eye he could use it only along the restricted lines laid out by his mentors. When the lesson was finished, Quat selected a few of the objects and locked them in a cupboard, as was his custom. The rest he left on the carpet to provide exercise for Alexander's ingenuity.
"He develops," Bordent said. "Today we've made a great step."
Myra and Calderon came in in time to hear this. "What goes?" he asked.
"A psychic bloc-removal. Alexander will no longer need to sleep."
"What?" Myra said.
"He won't require sleep. It's an artificial habit anyway. The super race has no need of it."
"He won't sleep any more, eh?" Calderon said. He had grown a little pale.
"Correct. He'll develop faster now, twice as fast."
-
At 3:30 a.m. Calderon and Myra lay in bed, wide awake, looking through the open door into the full blaze of light where Alexander played. Seen there clearly, as if upon a lighted stage, he did not look quite like himself any more. The difference was subtle, but it was there. Under the golden down his head had changed shape slightly, and there was a look of intelligence and purpose upon the blobby features. It was not an attractive look. It didn't belong there. It made Alexander look less like a super-baby than a debased oldster. All a child's normal cruelty and selfishness—perfectly healthy, natural traits in the developing infant—flickered across Alexander's face as he played absorbedly with solid crystal blocks which he was fitting into one another like a Chinese puzzle. It was quite a shocking face to watch.
Calderon heard Myra sigh beside him.
"He isn't our Alexander any more," she said. "Not a bit."
Alexander glanced up and his face suddenly suffused. The look of paradoxical age and degeneracy upon it vanished as he opened his mouth and bawled with rage, tossing the blocks in all directions. Calderon watched one roll through the bedroom door and come to rest upon the carpet, spilling out of its solidity a cascade of smaller and smaller solid blocks that tumbled winking toward him. Alexander's cries filled the apartment. After a moment windows began to slam across the court, and presently the phone rang. Calderon reached for it, sighing.
When he hung up he looked across at Myra and grimaced. Above the steady roars he said, "Well, we have notice to move."
Myra said, "Oh. Oh, well."
"That about covers it."
They were silent for a moment. Then Calderon said, "Nineteen years more of it. I think we can expect about that. They did say he'd mature at twenty, didn't they?"
"He'll be an orphan long before then," Myra groaned. "Oh, my head! I think I caught cold when he teleported us up to the roof just before dinner. Joe, do you suppose we're the first parents who ever got ... got caught like this?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, was there ever another super-baby before Alexander? It does seem like a waste of a lot of tolerance if we're the first to need it."
"We could use a lot more. We'll need a lot." He said nothing more for awhile, but he lay there thinking and trying not to hear his super-child's rhythmic howling. Tolerance. Every parent needed a great deal of it. Every child was intolerable from time to time. The race had certainly needed parental love in vast quantities to permit its infants to survive. But no parents before had ever been tried consistently up to the very last degree of tolerance. No parents before had ever had to face twenty years of it, day and night, strained to the final notch. Parental love is a great and all-encompassing emotion, but—
"I wonder," he said thoughtfully. "I wonder if we are the first."
Myra's speculations had been veering. "I suppose it's like tonsils and appendix," she murmured. "They've outlived their use, but they still hang on. This tolerance is vestigial in reverse. It's been hanging on all these millenniums, waiting for Alexander."
"Maybe. I wonder—Still, if there ever had been an Alexander before now, we'd have heard of him. So—"
Myra rose on one elbow and looked at her husband. "You think so?" she said softly. "I'm not so sure. I think it might have happened before."
Alexander suddenly quieted. The apartment rang with silence for a moment. Then a familiar voice, without words, spoke in both their brains simultaneously.
"Get me some more milk. And I want it just warm, not hot."
Joe and Myra looked at one another again, speechless. Myra sighed and pushed the covers back. "I'll go this time," she said. "Something new, eh? I—"
"Don't dawdle," said the wordless voice, and Myra jumped and gave a little shriek. Electricity crackled audibly through the room, and Alexander's bawling laughter was heard through the doorway.
"He's about as civilized now as a well-trained monkey, I suppose," Joe remarked, getting out of bed. "I'll go. You crawl back in. And in another year he may reach the elevation of a bushman. After that, if we're still alive, we'll have the pleasure of living with a super-powered cannibal. Eventually he may work up to the level of practical joker. That ought to be interesting." He went out, muttering to himself.
-
Ten minutes later, returning to bed, Joe found Myra clasping her knees and looking into space.
"We aren't the first, Joe," she said, not glancing at him. "I've been thinking. I'm pretty sure we aren't."
"But we've never heard of any supermen developing—"
She turned her head and gave him a long, thoughtful look. "No," she said.
They were silent. Then, "Yes, I see what you mean," he nodded.
Something crashed in the living room. Alexander chuckled and the sound of splintering wood was loud in the silence of the night. Another window banged somewhere outside.
"There's a breaking point," Myra said in a quiet voice. "There's got to be."
"Saturation," Joe murmured. "Tolerance saturation—or something. It could have happened."
Alexander trundled into sight, clutching something blue. He sat down and began to fiddle with bright wires. Myra rose suddenly.
"Joe, he's got that blue egg! He must have broken into the cupboard."
Calderon said, "But Quat told him—"
"It's dangerous!"
Alexander looked at them, grinned, and bent the wires into a cradle-shape the size of the egg.
Calderon found himself out of bed and halfway to the door. He stopped before he reached it. "You know," he said slowly, "he might hurt himself with that thing."
"We'll have to get it away from him," Myra agreed, heaving herself up with tired reluctance.
"Look at him," Calderon urged. "Just look."
Alexander was dealing competently with the wires, his hands flickering into sight and out again as he balanced a tesseract beneath the cradle. That curious veil of knowledge gave his chubby face the debased look of senility which they had come to know so well.
"This will go on and on, you know," Calderon murmured. "Tomorrow he'll look a little less like himself than today. Next week—next month—what will he be like in a year?"
"I know." Myra's voice was an echo. "Still, I suppose we'll have to—" Her voice trailed to a halt. She stood barefoot beside her husband, watching.
"I suppose the gadget will be finished," she said, "once he connects up that last wire. We ought to take it away from him."
"Think we could?"
"We ought to try."
They looked at each other. Calderon said, "It looks like an Easter egg. I never heard of an Easter egg hurting anybody."
