Redemption's Road, page 10
part #3 of Five Points Series
“Naomi—”
My argument couldn’t even get started. She shifted her weight onto one booted heel and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Don’t Naomi me. I’m going to talk, and for once, you’re going to listen.”
She pulled out a chair and pointed. I sat obediently.
“I’ll wait for you until the end of days, Rhebekka, but that’s a lot of wasted time we could be using to make love and hold each other every day we draw breath. I’ve given you the time to flog yourself. I’ve allowed you to deny yourself in penance, but we’re done with that. You slept with someone else. I get it. I’ve forgiven you, even if you haven’t found a way to forgive yourself. I know every gritty detail of what happened and exactly why it happened. There’s no need to rehash it. You were angry at me. Trust me, I was just as pissed at you. I said something that hurt you, and you retaliated in a way another woman might not be able to get over. I’m not excusing what you did, but you don’t get to decide for me if I can get over it or not. I want you to get the fuck over it. I don’t ever want to talk about it again. It’s over and done. Dead and buried, I’m hoping. I’m not giving up on what we have. Yes, have, present tense. You’re still mine, and I’m still yours, unless you’re going to tell me you’ve moved on with someone else.”
The chair bounced on the floor, as I hastily stood. “I haven’t!”
She walked over, righted the chair, and pointed again. “Sit.”
Holy shit, she was turning me on. From the day I walked out of the house I’d grown up in, there’d only been one person I’d willingly let control even a small part of me. The captivating woman before me held more power than she knew. The mortar in my brick wall loosened beneath her delicate hands.
“I know that, Rhebekka. It was a rhetorical statement. I have no doubt you’ve been more celibate than a hermit in the Alaskan wilderness or the Catholic nuns who take a vow.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, and I saw her smirk. I started to speak. She raised a finger tipped with a blood-red nail.
“I said, it’s my turn. Since you’ve become a pastor, how many people have you counseled? I’d bet more than you can remember. Have you ever told a single one of them they were unworthy of grace or forgiveness? Let me answer that for you, since I was not only your lover but your mentor.”
She brought her fingers to her thumb and formed a zero. Again, I chuckled. She was so good at this. Hard like steel when she needed to be and as soft as a newborn chick when the situation called for it. I’d seen her work many times and been on the receiving end of both sides of her gift. It was just one of the reasons I loved her so damn much.
“None. Zero. Zilch, Rhebekka. I know this as much as I know that God forgives me for all the mistakes I make, daily. Not just once, but daily.”
She pulled her earlobe. This was one of the things she did when she was trying to calm herself and formulate her next words. She’d already won. She just didn’t know it yet. I was tired of being without her.
“In the same way you buried all the pain from your childhood today, I’m asking you to bury that horrible night alongside it. I was angry at you for a long time. I felt betrayed and inadequate. It’s time for that day to be relegated to our past and forgotten. You’ve hated yourself over this for too damn long. Proverbs says hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. I love you, dammit. I love you, and I’ve forgiven you for this years ago. Your choice to deny yourself forgiveness is denying me a love I deserve. If I had a nickel for every time you told me you were sorry, I could feed every hungry child in America and beyond. I…forgive…you.”
My tears had welled up the minute she said I’d betrayed her and made her feel less than enough. I was so wrong for denying her. At that moment, I understood how the thief who hung beside Christ felt when he was forgiven. Unworthy of grace but granted it in spite of himself. The weeping grew from a place deep inside me. Each tear ripped away the guilt that clung to my soul. For the thousandth time, her scent completely filled my senses and washed over me like the smell of MaMaw’s coffee cake, warm and comforting on an elemental level. I leaned forward resting my head in my hands. Arms full of feminine grace and strength wrapped around me and held me, as my remaining bricks crumbled into a pile of useless rubble. Naomi rocked me. My head rested on her soft breasts, while her hand sifted through my hair. A million sensations coursed through my body, the strongest of which was desire. I turned my head and kissed the exposed skin above the shell she wore. I felt her press my head tighter to her chest, before the fingers tightened in my hair and pulled my lips away. She bent down until her mouth was a fraction of an inch from my ear, so close the warmth of her breath made me shiver.
“If you think I’ve waited this long to have your touch, only to have it last the few minutes Ellie will be gone, you’d be dead wrong. When we come together again, we won’t be getting out of bed for hours.”
She traced the outline of my ear with her tongue, and I shivered uncontrollably. “You’re killing me.” I grabbed her face and kissed her with a hunger I’d been suppressing for years. She met me with the same intensity and nipped at my tongue as it parted her lips and entered her mouth. I tasted cinnamon and sweetness from the latte we’d stopped for on the way back to the hotel. I pulled her to straddle my lap, which was no small feat given the restrictions of her dress. I ran my hand up her thigh, feeling the top of her stockings and the garters that held them in place. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tightly to me. I wanted to devour her with all the repressed need I’d kept bottled up, deep in my body. She surged her hips into my pelvis, and I groaned into her mouth. When I shifted my hand between us, she once again pulled my hair.
“Rhebekka, I wasn’t kidding. As much as I want you”—she nipped my lip—”and I do want you, I won’t settle for less than I deserve. That isn’t a quickie. Put this on simmer.” She stood and straightened her clothes.
There was a knock at the door. She raised an eyebrow at me as I growled in frustration. “Just a minute.” I needed a few more seconds to get myself together.
Naomi stood and walked over to her bag and pulled her Bible from it. She opened to a marked passage and laid the Bible in my hands.
From the book of Ruth, I read aloud, “‘…Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.’” I looked up at her, as she took it from my hands and put it away. “Naomi, what are you saying?”
Naomi looked at me with those piercing, ice-blue eyes. I held my breath.
“I didn’t buy a return ticket, Rhebekka. Where you go, I will go. Where you stay, I will stay. I’m in this for the long haul.”
The knock at the door came again. “Bek, I have to pee.”
Naomi doubled over with laughter, as I wiped at my face on my way to the door.
“You are such a pain in my ass, Ellie. Get in here.”
Ellie strode in with her hands in the air. “I’ve been standing in the hallway for thirty minutes. I can’t help I have a small bladder.” She pushed past me to the bathroom.
“You said you needed to check with Marlon.” I saw Naomi pull on her ear again. I crossed my arms. “You two planned this moment, didn’t you?”
Naomi planted her hands on her hips and shifted into the ‘you are about to step in it’ pose. “And your point is?”
Doing all I could to hold back my grin, I narrowed my eyes. “My point is—” I cut off my own words and strode across the room. I swept Naomi into my arms, dipped her back, and pressed my mouth to hers in a bone-melting kiss. When I let her up for air, I finished my sentence. “Thank you for never giving up.”
She kissed me softly, and the only thing that stopped us from continuing was the clearing of Ellie’s throat.
“Do I need to go back into the hallway again?”
“No, you damn brat. Get over here.” I pulled my little sparrow into my arms and kissed the side of her head. “Thank you for being so damn sneaky.”
She whispered into my neck.
“I needed my family back together, Bek. It’s the only thing that ever felt safe and real.” She smacked my shoulder. “Now, don’t screw it up.”
“Not a chance.”
Chapter Fourteen
I GENTLY TOUCHED NAOMI’S shoulder. “Hey, sleepyhead. Wake up.” I watched, as those eyes I loved so much blinked awake. She stretched and smiled at me.
“Are we here?”
I shook my head yes, as I leaned over to kiss her. “Welcome home.”
She cupped my face with both hands. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that?”
“Too long, I know.” I pointed to the giant Jesus. “Welcome to House of the Rising Son. Jesus says, hi.”
I watched her reaction as she looked up at the giant Jesus shadow.
“You weren’t kidding me, were you?”
I reached for the door handle. “Nope. Watch yourself. The ground is likely icy, and your boots aren’t exactly made for trudging through a foot and a half of snow.”
Naomi rolled her eyes at me and pushed open the car door. “Again, you forget, I was born in the Colorado Rockies, honey. I think I can handle what you call deep snow.”
“My bad.” I pulled our bags out of the back of the Land Cruiser and pointed to the small set of steps to the left of Jesus. I handed her the keys. “Can you unlock the door?”
“That I can.”
We made our way through the courtyard, and I marveled that she was there with me. I truly thought I’d missed my chance, and yet, there she was, sliding the key in the door as if she’d done it a thousand times.
“The light is there to the left, just inside.” She fumbled for a moment, until she found the right switch and turned the hallway light on. I nodded with my head up the steps. I was struggling with our bags. She took the guitar case from me, and I walked up behind her. Even though her coat hid her shapely ass, I knew exactly what it looked like.
“Quit staring at my ass, Rhebekka.”
I laughed and nearly fell down the stairs. Naomi pushed open the door to the loft and stood a foot inside the darkened room. I hit the lights.
“Wow, this place is beautiful.” She set the case on the floor and pulled off her gloves.
“Let me take your coat.” I helped her slip out of it and watched her take everything in. “I’ll get a fire going in a minute. There’s wine, whiskey, and beer in the kitchen. Glasses are in the cabinet above the sink.
After I’d moved around the room turning on two torch lamps, I wadded up a few pieces of newspaper and put them in the fireplace. With kindling covering that, the fire easily lit off. I held my hands up to the flames and turned to watch her beautiful form moving around my kitchen, our kitchen, if what she’d told me held true. I caught her smile more than once and realized, even without the fire, the entire loft was warmer. As the flames grew, I added a few larger pieces of wood and closed the glass door. I wanted to call Karmen and check that they’d made it back. To be honest, I wanted to check on both of my friends, that ride home couldn’t have been pleasant.
“I need to see if the girls made it back. Feel free to look around.”
She walked over and handed me a tumbler filled with a few ice cubes and two inches of amber liquid. “Go ahead, give them my love. Where’s the bathroom?”
I pointed back to the small hallway. “First door to the right.” When she was out of my sight, I called Karmen. After two rings, she answered.
“Did you make it back all right?”
“We did. Tank went to the bar to make sure everything was running smoothly. Senna had everything well in hand at the store when I called her earlier today. I decided I just wanted to come home.”
“Thank you for being there. I know today was hard on you.”
“Only because I let it be. I think it’s time to stop wishing for something that’s never going to happen.”
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I’m glad Naomi didn’t do that.”
“I’m so happy for you. Naomi seems like a keeper. What did she think of your place?”
“We just got in.” I looked up to see Naomi in a pair of leggings and an oversized Colorado sweatshirt. “She’s making herself at home.”
“Good, now maybe you’ll get some regular sleep and eat more than what I drop off.”
A barefooted Naomi made her way to my stereo system and browsed through my CD collection. She made her selection and I heard the first strains of Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up.” I swallowed hard and fought back the tears. “Right now, sleep is the last thing I want.” I was so grateful she hadn’t given up, no matter how hard I pushed, no matter how stubborn I was, no matter how withdrawn I’d become, she’d never given up.
“And that’s my cue to go. I love you, Rhebekka. Bring Naomi by the store when you come up for air.”
“Will do, just don’t expect that to be any time soon.”
“Go get it, girl. ‘Night.”
I hung up the phone and added large chunks of split wood in with the pieces that blazed like the desire within my center. My call to Tank could wait. “Karmen sounded resigned but surviving.” Naomi pushed her hair behind her ears.
“Did they have any trouble on the way home?”
“Karmen didn’t say. Tank went to the brewery and her apartment is attached. I’m sure she’s in for the night as well.” I picked up my drink and took a swallow. My mind undressed the woman I never thought would be standing there in my home.
Naomi walked up to me and took a sip from my glass before putting it down. “Then I’d say I’m done talking for the night.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and started to dance with me.
Without her boots, she was a few inches shorter than me. I pulled her close and swayed with her. No longer able to stand even that distance, I picked her up to hold her in my arms. She naturally wrapped her legs around my waist, the same way she’d done hundreds of times before. She put her lips on mine. Her mouth tasted of the Jack Daniels lingering on her tongue as it slid across my own. My need for her hadn’t been this all-consuming since the first night we’d made love. In those days, my pursuit of her had been relentless, overcoming every argument she gave me. The lyrics cut right into me, as the realization of how close I’d come to losing my entire world came crashing in. I held her close to my body and slid a hand under the back of the sweatshirt to find warm skin. Groaning into her mouth, my other hand roamed under the fabric and up her back. She wore nothing underneath.
“I want you.”
She didn’t say a word, only nodded, as I carefully knelt. I laid her down on the soft rug in front of the fire warming the room. With one swift motion, I pulled the sweatshirt over her head to reveal beautiful breasts, perfect in every way. Leaning over her, I took one of her taut nipples in my mouth. Her fingers made their way into my hair, pressing my lips hard to her skin. Her body arched beneath me. I slipped her leggings off. I held myself above her and marveled at the beauty beneath me, adorned only with a small, gold cross on a chain.
Her hands tugged at the T-shirt I’d changed into after the funeral. I sat up and quickly pulled it off. She smiled as she pushed up the jog bra and ran her hands over my small breasts before relieving me of the offending piece of fabric. Naomi drew me closer to her by tugging on the burnished wooden cross adorning my neck on a braided leather choker. She’d given it to me the day I humbled myself and took communion for the first time, accepting that I was worthy of the sacraments for the first time in my life.
When our bodies met, she rolled me over onto my back and stared at me. She flipped open the button on my well-worn Levis. I lifted my hips, and she pushed the jeans down. Her expression was priceless.
Wearing nothing beneath those jeans was my small rebellion against society’s expected norms. Naomi ran her fingers through the coarse hair at the juncture of my legs. Watching her eyes flutter closed as her fingers brushed my obvious sign of desire was delicious.
“Off.”
One simple word spoke volumes and I obeyed. When we came back together, skin to skin, I knew I would never be without her by my side again. This was where she belonged and the only place I’d ever want her to be for the rest of my life.
“I love you, Naomi. I love you so much.”
She answered me with a kiss, before she rolled us over again and allowed my body to blanket her entire length. My hands roamed her flesh, reacquainting myself with all the places that made her arch, gasp, and moan. I kissed down her neck and bit gently on the tendon that joined at her shoulder. I licked her pulse point and softly kissed all the way down to her breasts, before taking a puckered nipple into my mouth.
I knew I’d taxed her patience long enough, when she grabbed my wrist and pushed it between us. Leaning on my left elbow, my fingers parted her center, sliding through liquid silk. She was so wet that, when I pulled my fingers away, I felt her desire run down my hand. She growled at me, and I watched her eyes turn from melted arctic ice into black embers the moment I brought my fingers to my mouth and sucked off her passion. I leaned down and kissed her, allowing her to taste herself, as I slid my hand back down her body. She parted her legs for me, and I plunged three fingers into her without hesitation.
I groaned as her body clenched tightly around my fingers, nearly preventing me from pumping into her, as I simultaneously drove my tongue in her mouth. My knee between her parted thighs slammed against my hand, driving my fingers hard into her center.
Slow and sensuous would come later. What we needed now was to throw gasoline on glowing coals too long starved for fuel. We needed hard and fast. Her mouth fell open in a pant, as she pulled desperately on my shoulders, our foreheads pressed together. I moved my thumb to her clit and stroked it with every hard thrust. We were both nearly out of breath and using that blazing fire to forge our souls into one.
I felt her stiffen in my arms. I squeezed my center against her thigh, while her body convulsed against my hand. Her orgasm grabbed onto mine and pulled me over the edge of the cliff with her as we released together. I was lost in the bright rainbow colors behind my eyelids. I was unable to make out anything but the intense pleasure of our shared climax. My heart nearly burst, as I realized I’d never really lost her. The only person who had been adrift was me. Naomi was my lighthouse, the sun, moon, and stars wrapped up in a love so big it swallowed me whole. My heart was hers, and always would be. I gave thanks that she’d refused to give up on this stubborn soul, literally and figuratively. Oh, how I prayed, that someday I would be worthy of her. The truth was I’d never stop trying to be.
