Inkwell Confessions, page 10
“Hey, Dedra. I’m glad you felt like you could talk to me about this. I want you to know you can come to me when you need anything,” he said.
“I’ll remember that.”
“I hope you do because I mean it. I’m glad we’ve gotten closer. I enjoy being ‘pretend’ boyfriend and girlfriend and not just roommates.”
“Me, too. I’ll see you later, Sam.” She ended their call and let out a sigh. She had appreciated Kendra and her friendship. It was different since Donna left, but it was still a part of her day. Since she spent much of her day in her own head, running over plots for her stories or deciding how she could incorporate things that happened, it was nice to have someone to tether her to reality. Now, Kendra had tried to ruin her day. A mixture of sadness for the loss of a friend and anger for Angie’s manipulation ran through her. Thank goodness Sam was there to make her feel so much better.
Opening the apartment door, Dedra placed her laptop on the couch along with her purse. Something smelled wonderful. Sam must have been preparing something before he left for the restaurant. Her stomach growled. She didn’t have time to find anything from the vending machine this afternoon. Plus, she was still upset about Kendra.
A note was propped up against a glass vase with a single rose on the kitchen island.
Dedra,
I thought I would make you something to help brighten your evening and maybe make your day a little better. Open the refrigerator. There are instructions on how to heat it.
Sam
She opened the refrigerator to see a glass storage container with a Post-it note on top that had the instructions to reheat the pasta. She opened the container, and the aroma of oregano, garlic, and basil hit her. She was instantly transported to Italy.
“It smells so good.”
She followed the directions and sat down at the island. Before she took a bite, she placed the rose next to the bowl of pasta and took a photo on her phone. She texted it to Sam with a heart emoji. She didn’t have the right words. Thank you didn’t seem enough.
He texted back two heart emoji.
After staring at them for a few seconds, she wondered what they meant. Was he just copying her reply, or was he trying to tell her something? She wanted it to mean something. After he lifted her spirits when Kendra demolished them, she wanted to believe he was feeling the same thing she was. Their relationship was more than pretend. She propped her cell phone up so she could look at the heart emojis while she enjoyed her meal.
CHAPTER 23
Calm Before the Storm
Dedra settled into her chair, her laptop open before her. She clicked the Zoom link and was greeted by the mosaic of faces from her writing retreat: Marjorie, Greg, Patty, Candice, James, Susan, Douglas, and Evan. Their shared passion for writing had bonded them.
“Hello, everyone,” Dedra greeted, her voice warm with affection. She loved these monthly meetings they’d agreed to since the retreat. She’d come to think of all the other authors as friends. They were the writing group she always wanted to belong to. They all planned to return to the beach house next year. There was no way she would miss it.
“Dedra! How are you?” Marjorie asked as her face popped up, her smile like a burst of sunshine.
“I’m great, Marjorie. How about you? I’m so excited to hear you finished your story.” Dedra’s smile widened.
“Thanks, Dedra. Me too.” Marjorie beamed. “Looks like everyone’s settled in. Today’s agenda is critique, and Dedra, you’re in the hot seat. I trust we’ve all marinated on the pages she sent?”
Greg was the first to dive in. “I enjoyed your storyline, Dedra. Your narrative is compelling, but your protagonist needs a bit more sparkle. She’s overshadowed by the others. Perhaps a deeper dive into her world, especially her interactions with the hero, would do the trick.”
Dedra absorbed the feedback with a nod. “That’s solid advice, Greg. I’m envisioning a richer storyline for her already.”
“Nice. That will give her more of a spotlight,” Greg said.
“All right, who wants to go next?” Marjorie chimed in with a supportive nod.
“I’ll go next,” Candice said. “I agree with everything Greg said, but there is one thing that is bothering me.”
“What’s that?” Dedra asked.
“The way you portray your characters. If I remember correctly, you said this book was based on your friends. How do you think they are going to take it when they read your book?” Candice moved closer to her camera, her eyes fixed on Dedra.
“I believe I have that covered, Candice. The conflict and situations in my story aren’t real. They really didn’t happen. The characters are based on my friends, but I put them in made-up situations and wrote about how I thought they would react.”
“You don’t think they’ll know it’s them you’re writing about? I mean, I think I would recognize myself if someone wrote a book about me,” Candice said as she ran her hand through her hair.
“I don’t think so. I created new conflicts and gave them new obstacles. I don’t think they’ll recognize themselves at all,” Dedra assured her as she tried to convince herself.
“That was my only concern. I love your voice, and your writing is very professional. I love your story,” Candice said.
“Thank you. I appreciate your concern and your compliments.” Dedra smiled. She remembered how she and Gavan had talked about revising the story when she finished to make sure Donna, Kendra, and Angie wouldn’t know it was about them. She planned to hold him to his offer.
Marjorie laughed, breaking the tension. “All I can say is I don’t know anyone who would want to be friends with your character, Andrea. I hope for her sake you exaggerated when you wrote her character. I wouldn’t want to cross her path. She’s a huge bitch!” Marjorie exclaimed as the room broke out in laughter.
Dedra sighed. “Unfortunately, Marjorie, I didn’t change her much. She is one of my characters that I didn’t have to exaggerate to write her.”
“I can’t believe you call her a friend,” James said. “I’ll never understand women. They should come with an instruction manual.”
“She came along with the other two, James. I don’t really think of her as a friend. Maybe more of a necessary acquaintance,” Dedra explained.
“Maybe you should think of her as collateral damage. That I can understand,” James said, causing the others to erupt with laughter.
“Now you, Patty. If I remember right from the retreat, you’re an expert on interiority and show-don’t-tell. How did I do?” Dedra asked.
“You’ve done so well. You’ve improved tremendously after we worked together at the retreat,” Patty said. “Now for my thoughts on Andrea.”
Dedra listened to Patty’s suggestions on how she could improve her other characters so Andrea wouldn’t dominate the story. Angie was going to know it was her! Dedra felt a knot of anxiety. Angie’s portrayal was a little too close to the bone. She could only hope Angie wouldn’t see herself in the pages.
CHAPTER 24
Breaking Point
She walked along a peaceful shoreline, a gentle breeze teasing her hair, Sam’s hand warmly in hers. Birds danced along the sand. But reality intruded. The jarring ring of her cell phone abruptly replaced the serene rhythm of waves in Dedra’s dream, pulling her from the tranquil scene.
Groggily, she propped herself up on an elbow. “Hello?” Her voice was thick with sleep.
“Dedra, I’m sorry to call you at this time, especially on a Saturday. I need your help,” the voice trembled on the other end.
“Donna?” She recognized her voice, even though she wasn’t quite awake. “What’s wrong? Is the baby all right?”
“I’m fine. The baby’s fine. It’s Kendra.” Donna’s voice was edged with worry.
“Oh.” Dedra laid her head back down on her pillow. “What about Kendra?”
“She’s a mess,” Donna said. “I thought you might know why.”
Dedra hesitated, the weight of her estrangement with Kendra pressing down. “I don’t know what’s going on with her. I haven’t talked to her in a few months.”
“What do you mean you haven’t talked to her in a few months? Don’t you two see each other at work and go to lunch together?”
“We’ve both been so busy. It’s been hard to get together,” Dedra lied, not wanting to unload her burdens onto Donna’s already full plate.
Dedra swung her legs out of bed, her feet touching the cold floor. Despite everything, Kendra was part of her past, a thread in the tapestry of her life that couldn’t just be pulled out without unraveling a bit of herself.
“What do we need to do?” She yawned.
“I’m not sure what’s wrong. I couldn’t get her to tell me. I think we need to go to her. What if I meet you at her house? You’re always a voice of reason when it comes to the things Kendra gets herself into,” Donna said.
“I’ll meet you there in about twenty minutes.” Dedra sighed as she ended their call. She opened her closet and found a pair of leggings and a sweater. She was not dressing any nicer for Kendra and her problems. She slipped on a pair of sneakers, grabbed her bag, and walked into the living room.
Sam’s quizzical face greeted her. “Well, hello.”
Her body burned. It was as if he had just walked from her dreams. “Hi,” She smiled, wanting to stay and spend time with him, but remembering she had promised Donna.
Dedra scrunched her face and glanced at the time on her cell phone. “It’s one a.m. What the hell am I doing?”
Sam laughed. “I was going to ask the same. If you’re up at this time of the morning, you’re usually writing.”
“I wish I was writing.” She slipped her cell phone in the pocket of her leggings. “Donna called, and Kendra is in some kind of trouble. She wants me to go with her to find out what’s going on.”
“You’re going to help Kendra after what she said to you and how she’s been acting the last few months?”
“Donna asked. I can’t say no to her.” She walked toward the front door.
“You’re a better friend than me. I would have said sorry, let her work out her own issues.” Sam tilted his head.
His opinion of Kendra was poisoned because of Angie. While Dedra had been given a break, Sam was still dealing with her. “I would, but Donna being pregnant, I don’t think she needs the stress Kendra can add to anyone’s life,” Dedra explained.
“Would you like me to go with you? Maybe I can bring a male perspective,” he offered.
“No.” She was caught in a moment of emotional conflict and time constraints. Denying her desire to express her affection for Sam more intimately, she considered the urgency of the situation with Kendra. Not wanting to delve into a deep emotional exchange, she opted for a light kiss on Sam’s cheek to show her appreciation and affection. “Thank you for offering.” She walked out the door to her car, trying to remember where she was in the dream of her and Sam.
Dedra pulled up behind her friend’s car.
“Have you learned anything new?” she asked Donna, who was waiting, a concerned statue on the sidewalk.
“Nothing,” Donna said.
Dedra took her arm. “Let’s go see what we can find out.”
“I didn’t know you and Kendra hadn’t seen each other in a few months. What’s going on?” Donna asked.
“It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
Donna stopped, pulling away from Dedra. “What are you not telling me?”
Dedra hesitated. “I didn’t want to say anything and stress you out. You started a new job, got married, and learned you were pregnant. You really don’t need the drama between Kendra and me.”
“Well, now you’re going to tell me,” Donna insisted.
“Kendra told me she thought it would be a good idea if I found some new friends. Since you started a new job, she didn’t think we needed to be friends.”
“What!” Donna exclaimed. “She said that to you? When was this?”
Dedra nodded. “It wasn’t long after your wedding. Of course, Angie was not far away, so I’m assuming she put her up to it.”
“You know she did. That bitch,” Donna said.
“To tell you the truth, I’ve missed Kendra, but Angie…” Dedra wiggled her hand. “Not so much.”
“I don’t blame you. I would bet money that whatever problem Kendra has, Angie is behind it.”
“You’d win that bet.” Dedra laughed as she took Donna’s arm. “Come on, Momma. Let’s go find out what’s going on.”
Donna knocked on the front door, and they waited for Kendra to answer. After a minute of listening for any movement, Donna tried the doorknob. It was unlocked.
Donna stepped in first, with Dedra right beside her. “Kendra. Are you here?” There was no answer.
“Let’s check her bedroom.” Donna opened Kendra’s bedroom door a crack. “Kendra. We’re coming in.”
Someone was crying. Donna pushed the bedroom door open all the way. Kendra was a small, sobbing heap on her bed, the physical embodiment of heartache and regret.
“Are you all right?” Donna’s maternal instincts kicked in. She sat beside her on the bed. Kendra was silent except for sobs. “You know your front door is unlocked. Anyone could just walk right in.”
Dedra hung back, a silent observer to this intimate moment of pain and betrayal. She felt a twinge of sympathy for Kendra despite everything. Her thoughts drifted to Angie, the common denominator in so many of their problems. It was a tangled web of choices and consequences, and now Kendra was caught in the middle, with a storm brewing on her horizon.
“Are you going to talk to me?” Donna asked. “You can’t call me in the middle of the night crying and then not speak when I come over to see what’s wrong.”
Kendra wiped her eyes and looked at Dedra.
“I’d be happy to leave if it means you’ll tell Donna what’s going on.” Dedra crossed her arms in front of her.
“You’ll find out eventually, anyway.” Kendra glanced at Donna as she sat up on the bed.
“We’re listening.” Donna gave her a stern look.
“You know, I started going to church several months ago,” Kendra said.
“Yes, and it made me very happy. To know you were taking Danny and yourself to church on Sunday was good.” Donna patted Kendra’s leg.
“I met this guy at church. He was really sweet, and he and Danny hit it off. Danny thinks the world of him.” Kendra paused.
“And…” Donna gestured for her to continue.
“I’m pregnant,” Kendra blurted out.
“You’re pregnant? Does the baby belong to this guy?” Donna asked.
Kendra nodded.
“Does he know? What did he say when you told him?” Donna asked.
“I thought he loved me.” Kendra sobbed.
Dedra watched as Donna’s expression softened. She moved closer to Kendra on the bed and took her hands. “What did he say?”
“He’s married, and he’s not leaving his wife,” Kendra said through broken breaths.
“You didn’t know he was married?” Dedra asked.
“He told me he was separated from his wife, and they were getting a divorce. They still lived together because they hadn’t settled their finances yet.” Kendra wiped her nose.
“And you believed him?” Dedra asked.
“Why wouldn’t I? I met him at church!” Kendra exclaimed.
“Men who go to church can also lie, Kendra. Going to church doesn’t make them unable to lie,” Dedra said. “It just makes it a sin.”
“I know that now. What I don’t know is what I’m going to do. I can’t afford two children. He said we were going to get married after he left his wife.” Kendra sobbed harder, laying her head on Donna’s shoulder.
“We’ll figure this out. We’re here for you. You’re not going to go through this alone.” Donna ran her hand over Kendra’s hair and reassured her, her voice a steady anchor in the tumultuous sea of emotions. “It will be all right.”
Dedra watched, emotions swirling within her. She couldn’t help but wonder how different things might have been if their friendships had taken another path. But here they were, in the thick of a crisis.
CHAPTER 25
Renaissance of the Spirit
Unlocking the door to her apartment, Dedra stifled a yawn, the weight of the night pressing heavily on her shoulders. As she turned to lock it behind her, Sam’s voice cut through the silence, startling her.
“How did it go?”
“What the hell, Sam.” She clutched her chest, her heart racing.
“Sorry.” He sat up on the couch, where he was covered with a blanket. “I guess I should’ve left a light on so I didn’t scare you.”
“You think?” Her irritation melted into a tired chuckle as she pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I didn’t expect you to be awake.” She brushed his feet off the couch and fell down next to him. “I thought you would be asleep by now.”
Sam shifted to make room for her. “There’s no way I could go to sleep without finding out what the problem was with Kendra. Can you tell me?” His concern was clear, his brow creased with thought.
Dedra leaned back, letting the footrest rise. “Where do I even begin? It’s a mess.”
“How did Kendra react to you being there?” He leaned back, too, their shoulders touching in the dim light.
“She was…surprisingly okay. I offered to leave if she wanted, but she insisted I stay.” Dedra’s voice was soft, reflective. “She said I could stay because I would find out eventually.”
“Well, you and Donna talk about everything. I don’t know if you have secrets from each other. I would say Donna would have probably called you and told you what she knew if you didn’t go with her.” Sam turned and smiled at her, making her heart skip a beat. “You two are pretty close.”
