When the Smoke Clears, page 23
The fact was that Brenden could have confided the transgression of her loathsome ex-lover, but he hadn’t. Her heart was now sinking deeper into the dark abyss it had called home the last four days since arriving in Germany. Through narrow eyes, she studied Linc and Josh as they removed their hoodies and went to Brenden’s side.
There was something very wrong with how they brushed Amanda’s words under the rug. There were a thousand thoughts running amok in her head. For starters, why would Richard have anything to do with Brenden’s mission being compromised? Amanda may not have gotten out the full sentence, but Paige believed those were the words the woman had fixed her mouth to say.
“How does Richard have anything to do with Brenden’s accident?” Paige asked. She looked from Josh to Linc.
Neither responded. Their silence sent a sharp pain across her belly. She rubbed her baby bump while taking deep breaths. No longer would she be the sweet girl they had come to know. Not when her hormones were raging, she hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in four days, and the love of her life was still in a coma.
“Either one of you answers me or you can both get the fuck out!”
They turned to face her, each with a face scrubbed clean of emotion. Finally, Josh stepped forward.
“You can’t know anything. We promised Jas. It’s for your safety.” Josh looked over his shoulder at Brenden and frowned.
“I’m done hearing that excuse. What about his safety?” She pointed at Brenden. “He’s the one unconscious while you two walk around in makeshift disguises.”
“Paige, Jas is going to be fine. Trust me, that man needs no one to ensure his safety. If it weren’t for him—” Josh sucked in a hard breath and turned, resting his hand on Brenden’s leg. “He is the only reason all of us are alive. Before he fell completely unconscious, he made us promise to keep you safe. I intend on doing that.”
“How, by leaving me in the dark?”
“Truth be told…” Linc sighed. He came and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “We should’ve stopped Jas the night at the museum when that Lowell motherfucker put his hands on you. We didn’t, and now we’re here.
“Maybe some part of my promise is to give you understanding.” Linc squared his stance, facing her with soft brown eyes. “Jas can never know what we tell you, Paige. He’d ring our fucking necks.”
After swearing to secrecy, she listened as Linc and Josh reintroduced her to the psychopath she discovered in Richard Lowell during their last date. Her ex-lover had been a chameleon, the perfect poster boy for Lowell Defense Company, while engaging in off-the-books dealings with rogue contractors and weapons smugglers on the black market. Richard’s hate for Brenden catapulted after the wedding photos leaked. Through bribery of ex–Black 2131 operatives, military officials, and even CIA agents, he had discovered that the man who took the woman he wanted was also the one leading raids impacting his business in the Middle East.
Her legs buckled. Linc caught her by the waist then led her to a chair. The pain in her belly sharpened as she sat piecing together what they were careful not to say.
One, their missions or raids were in some way related to weapons on the black market.
Two, Richard’s company had ties to these smugglers.
Three, Brenden’s team being on this mission was no coincidence and neither was his accident.
“Why didn’t he tell me?” she whispered, unable to shed any more tears. “Why didn’t he tell me?” she screamed then stood and began beating Linc on the chest.
“Shhh…” Linc pulled her into a tight hug. “Let us worry about Mr. Lowell. You have to stay strong for Jas and the baby.”
There was comfort in a man she knew Brenden trusted with his life. For a long while she remained in Linc’s arms. She needed a shield against the reality she’d helped create. Had she just been the good girl and never acted on base impulses on New Year’s Eve, or had she gotten in a cab instead of letting Brenden take her home. If only…
Paige whipped her head up to the sound of Brenden’s heart monitor beeping double-time. The door to the room flew open and the doctor, along with two nurses, rushed in. A state of panic overcame Paige, and she flew to Brenden’s side and held his hand. She trembled, clutching at the tight pain in her chest as she listened and tried to decipher the commands the doctor was issuing.
She closed her eyes and began to pray. She stroked Brenden’s hand, hoping God would answer her prayers and allow him another chance at life.
“Stable,” a nurse called to the doctor as she removed a tube from Brenden’s mouth before pressing buttons on the machine.
“What’s happening?” Paige managed to speak despite her dry mouth.
“Not sure.” The doctor hesitated. “Had we induced this coma I might be able to tell you exactly what is going on.”
Paige began reciting the first few lines of Maniac Magee, hoping to give Brenden a voice in his dark void as the doctors and nurses rushed around them. She had faith that her husband was as strong as she knew him to be. He had to be to survive the shadows of death.
“Brenden,” she said before she gasped.
Brenden’s hand squeezed hers back. His lids were still shut, but underneath, his eyes were moving at a rapid speed. He moaned, and everyone in the room crowded around the bed, watching as the nurses removed medical devices and tubes from his body. He began to blink before his eyes opened.
“Brenden,” she cried, stroking his face and dropping a kiss on his forehead. She pulled back and looked him in the eyes.
He met her gaze, his beautiful eyes shifting from gray to blue then gray again as he focused upon her face. He reached up, pressing his hand to hers. “I’m sorry, but who are you?”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Brenden widened his eyes, fighting the darkness attempting to pull him under again. After rubbing his eyes, he adjusted to the light, then looked around the room. All were strangers, except Linc and Josh. Obviously the white coat was a doctor and the women in scrubs were nurses.
And then there was her. The woman with glowing skin and enchanting brown eyes, who had held his face seconds ago. She was more beautiful than any woman he had ever imagined, but why was she crying? Why did she look at him with sadness, and yet her lips held the trace of a smile?
Who was she?
He jogged his mind, attempting to recall her face. Surely he would remember a woman who touched him with such tender affection. A woman who gazed into his eyes and pierced the window to his soul—but he didn’t, couldn’t remember her.
Consciousness faded in and out. Voices muffled, faces blurred, and he couldn’t tell whether he was dreaming or not until the beautiful woman spoke.
“It’s okay.” She squeezed his hand. “The doctors said you would be a little foggy when you first woke up.” Calm spread within him. Her voice, it was definitely that of the angel who had led him away from the darkness and into the light.
Time after time when darkness began encroaching all around him, that voice would come and rescue him. Death couldn’t have him because she had said to fight, to be strong, and to come back. And now, he didn’t know who she was.
“Uh, Paige, if I may.” The doctor stepped forward. “Hello, soldier, I’m Dr. Young. Can you tell me your name?”
Brenden leaned back into the bed. He took a deep breath and lifted his arm, examining the IV. His gaze traveled down his body before he pulled at the thin hospital gown. “Brenden Charles Jasper, aka Jas.”
“Good, good.” The doctor pulled a light from his pocket and began examining Brenden’s eyes. “Do you know where you are, Brenden?”
“A hospital. Given where I was, Landstuhl.”
“Correct.” The doctor pressed his lips. He scanned Brenden’s face before taking out a notepad. “And where were you?”
“Yemen.”
The doctor scribbled on his pad, then looked back up. “Your rank and unit?”
“Lieutenant colonel. Unit is classified.”
“Classified? I’m afraid—”
“Our unit is classified, doctor.” Linc nodded at Brenden. “He can’t, nor will he answer your question.”
“Understood.” The doctor’s face tightened. “Now, Brenden, can you tell me what you last remember?”
Random flashes sprang to life. One minute he was parachuting into Afghanistan in the dead of night. The next he was in the Arabian Peninsula, emerging from combat so intimate he was soaked in blood that wasn’t his. Gradually the fog cleared and he settled into his consciousness.
Or so he thought. The sight of his parents, along with Amanda, racing past a glass window before pushing the door to his room open, confused him. He had to be dreaming again, or in dire straits for Robert Jasper to allow his mother so close to the life he led as a Black 2131 operative. Therefore, something was wrong, very wrong.
With alarm bells blaring to life, Brenden wiggled his toes, turned his neck, touched his face, and then looked over his body once more. Mobility was present in all limbs. There was nothing distressing unless those present were counting the bandage over his left brow and the gauze wrapping his head. So what was going on?
“He’s awake! Thank God,” his mother cried, running into the room with his father and Amanda following. “I prayed you’d come back to us.” She pushed the doctor out of the way and wrapped her arms around Brenden, sobbing uncontrollably.
“Glad to have you back, son.” Robert circled his long arms around his son and wife. “You gave us all a scare.”
“I’m good, old man.” He stretched his arms, yawning. “Just tired.”
“Bren,” Amanda said softly, making her way between his parents until she stood beside him.
Brenden nodded with a faint smile before she hugged him hard. He opened his eyes, finally feeling not so confused. But then his line of sight went back to the woman the doctor had called Paige.
He became frustrated and confused all over again meeting the woman’s piercing brown eyes and sad face. Her chest rose and fell with a stutter before she grimaced and turned away. For a second, he wished he knew why.
“Not sure what any of us would’ve done if we lost you,” Amanda confessed.
“I’m not going anywhere. Stop being a wuss.” His lopsided smile faded. He paused, scanning the faces of everyone in the room. “I need someone to tell me what’s going on.”
The doctor eased back in front of everyone. “In due time, Brenden. First, I need you to answer my question. What is the last thing you remember? I need you to be as specific as possible.”
“Before that can happen, I need Paige, Joan, and the nurses escorted from the room.” Gone was the concerned father. Robert Jasper had morphed back into the persona Brenden knew all too well as General Jasper, Secretary of Defense.
“Yes sir,” Josh said as he moved to Paige’s side and grabbed her by the arm.
“Manda, execute an NDA.”
“NDA?” Paige balked, pulling away from Josh.
“Non-disclosure agreement,” the general replied, never relinquishing his stern face.
“I know what it is. But Brenden just woke up from a coma. Must he always be at the mercy of Black—”
“A coma?” Brenden whispered, reaching for the gauze wrapping his head.
“Get her outta here, now,” Robert turned red as he ordered Josh to escort Paige out.
“Robert, no! She’s right. Brenden’s our son! He needs rest.” Tears streamed down Joan’s face as she snatched Paige from Josh and exited the room.
Robert stood facing the door for longer than a few heartbeats. He dragged a hand through his blond mane. Conflicted, upset, irritated… Brenden knew it was one of the three because it was how he responded to shit that had a no-win situation. Like father, like son.
“Manda, you ready?” Robert did an about-face and took a step toward the doctor.
“Yes, General Jasper.”
“Good. Effective immediately, Dr. Young, you plus one doctor of my choosing are responsible for the care of my son, Brenden Jasper, and his comrade, Roderick Campbell. No other doctor will treat them, talk to them—”
“Who is she?” Brenden leaned forward until he could see past his father and the doctor into the glass observation window.
Brenden pulled his gaze from the window and looked to his father. The expressionless general had melted back into the concerned dad, but he said nothing. Brenden then turned to Linc and Josh. Never had he seen the men he called his brothers look at him with pity. For the first time in their presence, he felt weak.
“Brenden,” Dr. Young started as he looked to the window and then back at Brenden. “The woman next to your mother, you really can’t recall who she is?”
“Doctor, stop beating around the bush. Our team has been through enough,” Linc snapped. “Fuck, Jas, she’s your wife.”
Wife? Brenden sat up. His eyes traveled over every inch of the woman next to his mother. He swallowed hard, then rested back into the pillow while staring down at his left hand. There was no ring. However, he bore the infamous ring-finger tan line, the mark of a married man.
When did he get married? Why couldn’t he remember? He closed his eyes, balling his fists.
“Not possible. Since when does this life allow attachments, complications? I never wanted to be married. Fuck, I can’t. A wife with all the shit we do and see? She’s fucking beautiful, but I can’t remember who she is to me or what I am to her.”
“Brenden, what is the last thing you remember before blacking out?” Dr. Young took a step closer to the bed.
“I already told you. Yemen. I pulled Daniel from the black site right before it blew.”
“Daniel, is he a member of your team?” The doctor scribbled on his pad.
“Yes.” Brenden tensed. He witnessed the silent exchange pass between his father and his comrades. He’d been around these men long enough to know there were words best left unspoken. “What am I missing?” He glared at Josh and Linc before his father.
“Jas, Daniel died two years ago.” Josh sat on the edge of the bed. “Our last mission was in Mosul, and it was compromised. Rod’s still in critical condition and if it hadn’t been for you, shit, we’d all be dead.” He looked to the observation window. “And you may not remember her, but you love her. Paige means everything to you.”
“Brenden.” The doctor stepped forward, still writing on his pad. “You really can’t recall Paige as your wife?”
“No. No, sir, I can’t.”
The doctor moved closer and began asking simple questions. Date of birth, names of family, team members, college facts, and then nitty-gritty details of his childhood. Brenden remembered when he learned to ride a bicycle, the girl he took to prom, and his first car. Every biographical question was answered correctly and with full comprehension, until the doctor mentioned Elizabeth’s death.
Brenden had no recollection of his sister’s death or becoming Katie’s guardian. The simple truths confirmed the doctor’s preliminary CT and MRI scans revealing memory loss as a result of the head trauma. More tests along with a psych evaluation had to be performed to determine any and all abnormalities.
While the doctor rambled on, Brenden turned his attention back to the observation window. There was a woman standing on the other side who meant something to him. He couldn’t remember her kiss, touch, favorite color, or when he had said, “I love you.”
Truth was, he didn’t want to remember.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Retrograde amnesia.
Paige couldn’t say the words aloud. Fear choked her as tears broke from her puffy eyes, flooding her face while she fought for the strength to stand. She took one last glance at Dr. Young, who was seated at his desk, then stumbled to his office door. Before her hand was on the handle, he was at her side, wanting to give her the support she desperately needed.
Only, Paige didn’t want his help. She pushed him away while attempting to drown the words he’d spoken seconds ago.
“Your husband will likely act the same, possess accurate gross and fine motor skills. However, he doesn’t remember you, Mrs. Jasper. In fact, it seems he doesn’t remember much of the last year or two—”
Paige jerked, yanking the door handle, abruptly cutting the horrid words from playing over and over in her head. This wasn’t a nightmare. Her life had become the fire and brimstone of Hell.
She stepped into the hall and sucked in a massive breath of cool air. Right now she needed to talk to Brenden, make him look her in the eyes, and remember who she was to him. Who they were to each other. Because there was no doubt in her mind of where she would be for the long haul. Months, years, whatever it took, she wouldn’t give up on him or their love.
“Mrs. Jasper.”
Paige whirled around. She anchored her back to the wall to keep from losing balance.
“Paige!” The deep Spanish accent of Carlos called to her before his strong hands gripped her, holding tight. “What’s wrong?” His brown eyes searched her face for answers then darted to Dr. Young, who stood silently watching.
Paige pulled away from Carlos, sniffling before fisting her blurry eyes. She turned her gaze to the heavens and whispered, “Everything,” then sidestepped both men.
She moved fast, ignoring both Carlos and Dr. Young as they called while trailing her down the hospital corridors. Brenden was her priority. She had to get to him. Make him strong again. Make him remember.
“Don’t let him see you like this.”
Her body stilled, and her heart dueled with logic as she internalized the doctor’s shaky words. She turned and faced Dr. Young, the man she had deemed an enemy the minute he told her Brenden had lost the ability to recall memory from the last two years.
