Evil in Me, page 20
He tried to recall if she’d promised his freedom before, searching his memory. She had spoken of freedom, yes, but promised? No. She had never actually promised before. He wondered if he could trust her, wasn’t sure, only knew he’d never known Lord Sheelbeth to go back on her word.
And there was more to all this. Did he not still owe her a debt?
No, not after the fire. I owe her nothing after that.
He reminded himself that it was Lord Sheelbeth who had saved him from Satan’s demons, from their endless torture, from being forced to do their bidding for an eternity.
Listen to yourself. Is that not what Lord Sheelbeth is doing now?
It is, he thought, and found it sad, how she couldn’t see this. Or if she did, turned the blind eye. It is easy to justify others’ sacrifices when they are serving your own needs.
He had to admit that it wasn’t how it started, though. No, at first he’d been grateful for the opportunity to repay her, to serve her. It gave him purpose, a feeling of belonging, even. She made her ring, her flesh, his home, allowed him to be part of her in a way that was more than any other soul or god had ever done. And together they were lethal—him in the form of the ring, some shadowy spider scuttling into the camps of their enemies, possessing them, conquering them, stealing their souls.
And Beel had been delighted to bring this blight down upon God’s chosen children, these selfish monkeys, especially this new breed of men, these Christians. How he had thrilled in destroying their churches, destroying God’s house, anything to get back at God for forsaking him so.
But there came a day when he grew tired of their pain and sorrow, because in the end, this wasn’t his nature. He longed to roam the forest once more as some great cat or colorful songbird. And that was the day he found out he wasn’t free.
When confronted, Lord Sheelbeth told him that she needed him more than ever to fight the mounting tide of Christians and Muslims and so many others. When he tried to leave anyway, he discovered he was trapped, tethered to the ring.
Lord Sheelbeth said it was for Beel’s own good, that God’s servants were hunting him, that her kingdom was his only place of refuge, that as much as it pained her, she must forbid him leave for his own sake.
And it turned out what she said was true, they were hunting me … hunting us all. So why should I not trust her now?
The fire, Beel could almost feel it.
All is a gamble.
And the girl, what of her? It would mean her death; more, her soul would be Sheelbeth’s forever.
What of it? Would she not sell me to Lord Sheelbeth for her freedom? Of course she would. Would send me back to Hell this very second if she could. Be glad of it. She has nothing but loathing for me. She is but one more of God’s selfish monkeys. I owe her nothing.
And there was something else here. He’d lied to her about freeing herself by cutting the ring from her finger. At least partially lied. True, it had never worked in the past, but this was different, the ring was covered in angel blood, it was numb, unable to do more than cling on in some kind of stubborn stupor. Beel felt sure if Ruby cut off the ring, she could escape. Only … only he’d be sucked back into the ring as sure as if she had died.
No, I will not tell her. Never tell her. I owe her nothing.
Beel felt something, a disturbance, drawing near. He came forward, peering out through Ruby’s eyes.
“C’mon, Mark,” Tina said, holding out the drumsticks. “Just a couple of shows. Until we find someone else. Pleeease.”
“Nope.” The man looked tired and hungover and like he wanted to be anywhere but here.
“When’s the last time I asked you a favor?”
“You ask me favors all the time,” he grumbled. “Speaking of which, where’s rent? You owe me for last month as well.”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s just keep on track here a minute. Stay focused, Mark, okay.”
Mark rolled his eyes. “I thought Pete was your drummer. Why can’t he do it?”
“I told you, Pete’s not speaking to me at present.”
“Well, why not?”
“Because none of your damn business, that’s why not.”
“Because maybe you’re a hard-ass bitch?”
Tina grinned. “Maybe. But how about we not let that get in the way. Here, I tell you what, I’ll try to be a much nicer bitch if you play drums for us. How about that?”
Mark threw up his hands and headed up the stairs.
“Please, Mark, please. Pretty please! Mark, c’mon.”
“No, no, no,” he called back down. “And you still owe me rent.” He shut the door.
Tina let out a big huff of air. “Drummers are hard to come by. Everyone wants to be Keith or Mick, no one wants to be Charlie.”
There came a thump from outside. It was a walk-out basement, and Tina and Ruby looked over at the patio door.
Ruby gasped. “Oh, shit! Vutto!”
Vutto had his face pressed against the glass, peering in at them from beneath a blanket that he was wearing like a cloak. The blanket looked as though it’d been drug through the gutter. They could see his creepy yellow eyes, his wide snout, a hint of pointy teeth, but fortunately the rest of him was covered.
“Vutto?” Tina asked. “You mean from your story?”
“Yeah.”
“You mean he’s real?”
“He’s real, Tina. I am sorry as shit to say, it’s all real.”
Vutto tapped the glass, looking in at them like a kicked puppy.
“Get out of here!” Ruby shouted. “Go away!”
Vutto slid the door open and stepped inside.
“Shit, Tina, do you not lock any of your doors?”
Tina leapt over to her bed, yanked up a baseball bat, reared back, ready to attack.
“No, Tina!” Ruby said sharply, stepping between them. “Do not do that. Just stay back. Stay back!” Beel could feel her fear.
“Hello, Ruby, it is me, Vutto. Your friend. Do you remember me?”
“Yes, Vutto,” Ruby said, speaking gently, but sternly; she was trembling. “I do. Now listen to me. You’re scaring everyone. You have to go.”
“But … I can help. Yah.”
Beel noticed the star-shaped scar on Vutto’s forehead, the one from the angel blood. It was still solid, but it looked a bit smaller and it no longer glowed. It’s healing, he thought, and when it does … he will kill Ruby. Lord Sheelbeth has us one way or another.
“No, you can’t help us,” Ruby said.
“Yah, I can. I show you.” Vutto strolled over to the drum kit and took a seat.
Ruby and Tina exchanged a horrified look.
Vutto shrugged off the blanket. Like most demons, he had the ability to change his appearance to some degree, and for now he’d hidden the face and mouth on his gut. He was still more demon than human, but far less menacing. He tapped a snare with one of his talon-like claws, then each of the drums in the kit, popping the cymbals. He cocked his head, listening to each sound, his brows tight. He started thumping them, making a racket, but slowly the racket became a beat, then a rhythm. He picked up the tempo, using his claws like sticks, and his palms on the toms, the way conga drummers do. The result was a powerful, primitive sound.
Vutto stopped and smiled at Ruby. “See, I can help you. I play drums for you. Yah. I play drums very good.”
“You gotta get it out of here,” Tina said, clutching the bat, her back pressed against the far wall.
“I’m sorry, Vutto,” Ruby said, still speaking gently. “But it won’t work. There’s no way.”
“I am your friend,” Vutto said. “Remember how I save you from demons and fire? Yah. I will keep you safe. I am good egg.”
Ruby shook her head.
Vutto dropped to his knees, clasped his hands together. “I begging you. I do not want to go back to Hell. We need each other. Together we can break spell.”
He’s right, Beel said from within. Whatever chance is left will be better with the demon working with us than not. He will keep the other wicked things at bay.
“What, no! He’s a demon!” Ruby replied from within.
There are many kinds of demons. They are not all wicked. He just wants the same thing all of us do. To be free.
“Don’t you think folks gonna notice a friggin demon onstage?”
Dress him up. A wig, a hat, sunglasses, a coat.
“No, I don’t want him, it, around me.”
I do not believe you have much choice in that. He is not going anywhere. And it will be good to keep an eye on him as well. To have warning should the blood wear off on him. Might save your life.
What Beel didn’t say was how the pain and desperation in Vutto’s eyes mirrored his own heart, how he knew only too well what it was to fear Lord Sheelbeth and her fire.
Ruby was silent. Beel could feel her anxiety, almost hear her debating with herself. Finally, she took a deep breath, went to Tina’s closet, pulled out a felt hat, a leather jacket, then plucked up a pair of cat-eye sunglasses and red feather boa from off the vanity.
“What’re you doing?” Tina asked.
“Just hang on.”
Ruby handed Vutto the jacket. “Try this.”
“Oh, hell no!” Tina cried. “I know what you’re doing and it ain’t gonna fly!”
Vutto’s face lit up. He stood and pulled on the jacket.
“Aw, yuck! Damnit, Ruby, I don’t want it touching my things!” Tina looked furious, but stayed back.
Ruby set the hat atop Vutto’s head, covering his horns, then slipped the sunglasses in place. Finally, she wrapped the boa around the demon’s neck, leaving only a small bit of Vutto’s lips and nose showing. Ruby glanced over at Tina, shrugged. “Might work?”
“No, no it won’t. And I’ll tell you why. Because I’m not gonna be anywhere near that … that thing! It’s a demon for Christ’s sake!” Tina was trembling. “Ruby, please. Get it out of here! Now!”
Vutto put out his hands and took a few steps toward Tina. “I am good egg.”
Tina raised the bat. “Stay the fuck away from me!”
Vutto knelt before her, clasped his hands together. “I am Vutto,” he said, speaking directly to Tina. “I want to be your friend. Yah. Please be my friend.” He lowered his head, touching his forehead to the ground, just like Beel had seen him do before Lord Sheelbeth.
“No! No way!”
“Please be my friend. Please.”
Tina met Ruby’s eyes. “Fuck, Ruby. Really? We’re gonna do this? Fuck!”
“I don’t know what else to do.”
“I’ve done plenty of stupid over my life, but this sure takes the stupid cake.” Tina tapped Vutto with the tip of the bat. “Get up. Go on. Get up and get away from me.”
Vutto looked at her. “You be my friend? Yah?”
Tina still looked terrified, keeping the bat up, ready to swing. “Sure … yeah, okay. Just so long as you stay away from me. Is that understood? Now get away from me.”
Vutto stood up, beaming. “We are all friends now.”
“No,” Ruby said. “Not yet. You gotta promise me something first. You have to swear you won’t hurt anyone. Swear it.”
“I swear not hurt anyone … unless they are bad.”
“No, Vutto. Anyone at all.”
He frowned. “Okay, I swear.”
Beel found himself smiling inside at the very idea of a demon, any demon, keeping a promise.
* * *
“Okay,” Ruby said. “We’re getting close. I can feel it. Let’s try again.” By feel it, she meant the magic. It was their sixth or seventh go at the spell song, and that last time Ruby swore she felt something in the air—just a tingle, but something more than wishful thinking.
Tina took a second to tune her guitar, keeping a wary eye on Vutto. Even after playing all morning, she refused to turn her back on the demon even for a second.
“We need a few more verses,” Ruby said.
“Yeah,” Tina agreed. “It’s not much more than a repeating chorus right now. How about a couple of lines about the Devil chasing after you.”
“Devil band,” Vutto sang. “Devil get you if he can.”
Ruby nodded, shut her eyes, humming the tune, playing with the words. “‘Devil on my hand, Devil in my band, Devil’s gonna get me if he can.’”
“There you go,” Tina said.
Ruby kept going. “‘Devil’s watchin’ me squirm, Devil’s watchin’ me burn…’”
“‘Devil’s in my belly like a wiggle worm,’” Tina threw in, and laughed.
Ruby grinned. “I like that! Then back into the chorus, because the spell is all in the chorus. We just need something catchy to tie it together, y’know, to get folks singing along.”
They bounced around several more verses and lines, until finally Tina held up her hands. “C’mon, let’s just try it again. See what we got.”
Ruby started humming the tune, leading the way, tapping out the rhythm on her bass. Tina’s guitar fell in, and then Vutto added the beat. They’d been keeping it simple, but Tina stepped on her fuzz box, injecting some heavy distortion, kicking the song into a dreamy, immersive haze of buzzing, grinding guitar chords. Vutto grinned and upped the tempo, hands flying over the toms as he slapped out his primal beat. Ruby added some gloomy bass and began to sing, to really let loose with her tragic wailing voice, and the whole song melted into a melodic, psychedelic groove.
“Devil on my hand, Devil in my band.
Devil’s gonna take me down any way he can.
Only your spell, will keep me out of Hell.
Gotta gimmie all your heart and soul, gimmie all your heart and soul.
Gonna burn like a demon bowl, unless you give me all your heart and soul.
Gonna give you all my heart and soul, give you all my heart and soul.
Burnin’ like a demon bowl, I give you all my heart and soul.
Devil’s watchin’ me squirm, Devil’s watchin’ me burn.
Devil wants me in his belly like a wiggle worm.
C’mon, set me free, cast out the evil in me.
Gotta gimmie all your heart and soul, gimmie all your heart and soul.
Devil’s never gonna let me go, unless you give me all your heart and soul.
Gonna give you all my heart and soul, give you all my heart and soul.
Devil’s gonna let you go, I give you all my heart and soul.
Gotta set me free, gotta set me free.
Free all the evil in me, evil in me, evil in me, evil in me…”
Goose bumps crawled along Ruby’s arms; she shut her eyes and let the music take her.
They’d worked their way through “Skank Howl” a couple of times, just to warm up, and it had gone okay, the song sounded decent, but nothing like this.
She came round to the chorus again, and they all joined in, all but Beel. Vutto singing along, sounding like … like a howling demon.
Warmth blossomed in Ruby’s chest, vibrating out along her very bones, the vibrations becoming part of the song, flowing through her, out of her. Magic, she thought. It wasn’t like when the spirits sang with her, but it was there. The scar, the symbol, on her arm began to tingle.
They didn’t stop when the song came to an end, but looped right back into the start, going round and round, the chorus growing ever more feverish with each pass. Ruby no longer felt her fingers, it was as though the bass was playing itself. She began to drift, feeling weightless.
There came a loud twang, followed by Tina shouting “Shit!” and the song ended abruptly.
No, Ruby thought, not wanting the song to ever stop. She opened her eyes, saw that Tina had broken a string.
“Holy cow!” Tina exclaimed. “Look at my arms, man. Goose bumps all over. Fuck, even my nipples are hard.”
Ruby swayed, grabbed hold of the wall to steady herself.
“You okay?” Tina asked.
“Oh, yeah … more than okay. That felt amazing.”
“Hell yeah, it did. Man, can’t wait to lay that on some folks. People gonna lose their flippin’ minds. Swear, I can still feel it vibrating in my chest.” She slipped off the guitar and headed up the stairs.
“Hey, where you going?”
“Just give me a sec. Need to call someone.”
Ruby sucked in a deep breath. “Beel, you felt it right?”
Beel didn’t answer; it was like he was gone.
“The song, Beel. Did you feel the magic?”
Maybe … a little.
“No maybe. You felt it. I know you did, because I did. There’s a chance, right? That this might work after all?”
There’s always a chance. Just not much of one.
“Well, this morning you said there was no chance. So, I’m gonna take that as a step forward.”
Vutto was grinning at her, exposing rows of his needle-like teeth. She wished he wouldn’t do that, it was like being smiled at by a tiger.
“Did you feel the magic, Vutto?”
He nodded. “Yah! We are going to break this spell. We are going to escape Lord Sheelbeth.”
Hear that? Ruby said within. At least this demon believes in us. Maybe if you did too, we’d stand a better chance.
Believing in something doesn’t make it true.
“Sometimes it does. Sometimes it really does.” Then Ruby asked, “Vutto, what’ll you do if you escape?”
Vutto didn’t hesitate. “I return to the desert. Get as far away from people and gods and devils as I can. I burrow deep in the hot sand and only come out at night to hunt and sing to the stars.”
“What do you hunt?” Ruby asked, before realizing she didn’t really want to know.
“Snakes, rats, rabbits, lizards … wandering souls.”
He is a demon. He needs more than flesh.
Ruby shuddered.
A few minutes later Tina trotted back down the stairs. “Okay, we’re on.”
“What?”
“I called Tom, down at 688. We’re on at eight. Warming up for Neon Christ.”
“Tonight? How’d you manage that?”
“Because I know how to make things happen,” Tina said with a cocky smirk. “And because Tom owes me. And because it’s Wednesday and nobody else wants to play on Wednesday. And mostly … I told him we’d play for free.”
