Hastings, page 14
I honestly couldn’t tell if she was making a joke or not. That scared me.
She rose from the couch, and I followed her lead. “You sure you’ll be alright alone?”
“Yes, Mom. I’ll be fine. I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“I know. But no matter how big you get; you’ll always be my baby.” She stepped forward and placed a kiss on the top of my head before making her way to the front door.
“Love you, Jaxon. I’ll be home in time to make dinner.”
“Love you too, Mom. And, sorry about today.”
She paused, giving me a smile. “I know. Thank you.” She walked over and gave me a hug, placing another kiss on my head. “Lock the door behind me.”
I nodded, watching her walk out the front door before turning the lock like she asked. I walked over to the couch and laid back, stretching out across it, leaving a foot on the ground.
I stared up at the ceiling. She says she wants me to have friends, to let people in. But I don’t know how to do that. I don’t want to do that. I’ve seen the wreckage of that kind of vulnerability.
Mom works two jobs to keep this roof over our head. Two jobs that still manage to put ramen on the table in a fairly frequent rotation. She always has a smile on her face and a positive attitude, wearing them both like protective armor.
She doesn’t know that I hear her cry behind closed doors at night. Doesn’t know that we are aware of how hard this life is on her. She does her best and we love her for it.
I don’t know if she sees how hard this is for us too. Seeing her hide in a shell of herself. Always wondering if this month we’ll be okay or barely scrape by. She opened herself up and look where that left her. I’m never setting myself up for that type of vulnerability.
I wasn’t going to lie here and dwell in the depressing. I walked to my room and grabbed the CD I’d found in my mom’s old stack, the one I hid away so no one could find it. I took it with me to the living room and put it in the CD player.
I would never admit how much this song speaks to me. How it makes me feel like I can do better and not have to ever eat another ramen noodle in my life. I will never tell another soul that this song lets me cling to a bigger hope of a brighter future. I would sound so lame. Who even listens to country music anymore?
But when it’s just me, I will put it on and let it take me to a place away from here. Where I can be anything I want to be. Somewhere that I’m not cast in the shadow of a dad who left us behind.
What my mom doesn’t know is that this was my third offense since school began. Three strikes you’re out. That’s why they sent me home this time.
It’s not that I necessarily want to get into fights. But I’m also not going to let anyone talk smack about me or my family. Someone has to stand up for us, and I’m the only man in this family who can.
I pressed play on “I’m Gonna Be Somebody” by Travis Tritt and let the melody and the lyrics make everything better. If only for a little while. If only for just today.
Chapter Thirteen
Cambri
I woke up the next morning immediately regretting all the cosmos the night before. I reached over and smacked my alarm, accidentally knocking the thing onto the floor. With a groan, I kicked a leg out of the covers. I had to wake up. I had to get going.
Duty calls.
I was meeting the guys in the studio in an hour, so I had better get a move on it.
I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed, stretching my arms out wide up and over my head. Last night ended – differently than I thought it would. Mallory never came back with Stellan, and I ended the night drinking cosmos with Ridge.
How I managed to talk to Alyssa, the girl I had gone to see, and tell her to send in some demos to the label is beyond me.
Jaxon.
I groaned, falling over onto my pillow. What the heck happened with Jaxon last night? He wasn’t even supposed to be there. Next thing I knew he was stealing a kiss and then storming out without acknowledging me at all.
I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to him today.
I forced my way off my bed. Slipping on my favorite cutoffs, a V-neck, and some Converse before pulling my hair back into a ponytail since today would be full studio and no office. I swiped on some mascara and lip gloss and was out the door.
Starting an awkward morning with coffee in hand was definitely my best option. Texting Ridge, I got everyone’s order and then was on my way.
Ready to start the day.
Yay.
I entered the studio, armed with the liquid gold, and found myself hiding behind everyone’s caffeine fix like it was a protective shield I could actually hide behind. That lasted all of six seconds before the guys grabbed their coffees.
All except for Jaxon, who was standing on the other side of the room reading through a page of notes.
He looked up, and our eyes met. His gaze doing a funny thing to my chest.
I straightened my shoulders and then made my way over to him.
Holding my arm out, I offered his cup to him, telling myself not to blink as his honey-brown eyes pierced through mine.
I was about to give him the same morning greeting that I had given everyone else when he took the cup of coffee, our fingers brushing in the process, making the words get lost on my lips.
He cleared his throat. “Thank you. For this.”
“Sure. Don’t mention it.”
He held my gaze as he took a sip of the drink, then brushed past me. Leaving me standing there facing the wall confused.
I clamped my eyes shut, taking in a steadying breath. This is ridiculous. You’re being ridiculous.
With my best grin, I turned and faced the group. “Okay guys, the clock is ticking down. We are mere weeks away from the start of the tour.”
Grunts and cheers filled the room, coffee cups raised like beer mugs.
Giving a pleased nod, I raised my cup back at them in acknowledgment. They’d earned every ounce of respect I could give. The work they had put in to make them tour ready in the short time span we were given was impressive.
“Let’s try to wrap up studio time this week. That gives us more than enough time for finalizing meetings and such with Norwood Records. As well as a little wiggle room if we need it. Sound like a plan?”
I was met with hoots and cheers in response.
“Okay then. I’ll be behind the glass if you need me. Let’s do it!”
A few late nights gave way to early mornings in the studio. Once our studio time was completed, we were pretty much living in Norwood Records for meetings and interviews. I managed to put together a pop-up show where the guys performed in a parking lot, garnering fan excitement in pre-tour momentum. At one point, I think I went more than twenty-four hours without sleeping or showering.
But we did it. We made it to the day of the tour!
Stepping up onto the tour bus, I took a minute to take it all in. This was happening. I helped put this together, and I could not wipe the smile off my face or erase the feeling of accomplishment I felt if I tried.
We were all exhausted, but at the same time, I had never felt more alive. In this moment, it felt like we had endless opportunity and potential in front of us. The feeling of stepping up onto this tour bus was an adrenaline high that I had never experienced before.
I was ready. The boys were ready. This was the first day of the rest of our lives.
I couldn’t wait.
Then I saw him. Walking up to the bus, bag hung over the back of his shoulder. Hair styled in that perfectly imperfect tousle that begged my fingers to dive in. Wearing his jeans, graphic tee, and shades in a such a way that I swear he was trying to kill me.
He gave me a nod as he stepped up onto the bus and then brushed past me. Fingertips hitting mine as he passed, causing a wave of electricity to shoot over each one up into my palm. Leaving me wondering if that was intentional or because of the lack of space entering the bus.
“Cambri,” he nodded in acknowledgement as he passed by. A lifeless greeting that was a mere formality.
Since the moment he up and left the bar that night, when Ridge and I stopped our conversation and watched him leave like the building was on fire, he has been different. A wall has gone up and I honest to God don’t know why. I’ve thought about it more times than I should.
If anything, I guess I should be grateful. It has helped us stay focused and not get off track during the last leg of tour prep. Not. A. Once.
I didn’t get a chance to spend too much time on that particular train of thought because I was wrapped in a bear hug from behind before being hoisted up into the air by Ridge.
“Caminator!” Ridge said my nickname that he’d settled on excitedly.
I tried to veto that one, but he insisted on it because I “terminated” all issues that popped up. Bless.
“Let’s do this thing!” he exclaimed.
Laughing, I greeted the playful baby of the group. He sat me down with a satisfied grin before trudging to the back of the bus. “I get top bunk!” I heard him shout excitedly.
“Cam, you think you can get ahold of that before we take off?” Stellan asked with a grin, stepping up onto the bus.
“Oh no. That’s all you,” I teased. “Welcome aboard, sir!” I offered a high five that he eagerly met.
“Saving the best for last I see.” Everett’s voice cut through as he stepped up onto the tour bus, wearing a wicked grin and rock star style shades.
“Nice shades,” I laughed.
“You like?” He wiggled them up and down. “I thought they made me look mysterious.”
Laughter bubbled up from inside me. “So mysterious,” I agreed.
“You laugh now, Cambri. But these are gonna be my chick magnet. You just wait and see.” He said confidently.
“Mmm hmm,” I nodded dramatically. “I think they are working.” I took slow steps toward him. “I am so drawn to you right now.”
He gave my arm a playful shove causing me to step back, laughing.
“Ha ha. Very funny,” Everett said, making his way to the back of the bus.
“I can’t. Stop. Moving. Closer to you.”
He turned and shot me a grin over his shoulder before walking away with a shake of his head.
All alone, I sunk down onto the couch with a satisfied sigh. Mentally running through my checklist one more time before we drove off, starting the first leg of the tour.
Eventually my thoughts drifted back to Jaxon. My head subconsciously turning toward the back of the bus as I wondered what he was doing. What he was thinking. Was it about me? Or had he figured out how to stop his thoughts from turning to me, the way that mine did to him. If only I could be so lucky.
A couple hours into the drive, I found Ridge at the table eating a pack of Oreos. I squished in next to him and reached into the container.
“Hey!” he said in protest. “What gives?”
I snuggled into him, smearing a big goofy grin onto my face. “Aw, thanks, Ridgegans,” I said in a cartoony voice. “You’re the bestest.” I took a nibble of the cookie.
He watched me with narrowed eyes before melting into his marshmallow of a self, matching my goofy grin with his own.
“Fine.” He surrendered, tilting the package toward me, offering up his sweet treats.
Grinning, I reached down for another, popping an entire cookie into my mouth. Ridge’s eyes went wide, and a laugh escaped his lips.
“You know. If this music thing doesn’t work out, we could start a spectacle show of other random talents you possess.”
I opened my mouth to retort with a witty comeback, but a sound floating up from the back of the bus had it dying on my lips. A guitar. The melody filling the space, stealing all of our attention before blending with the sound of Jaxon’s voice.
I paused, looking up to meet the remaining band members’ eyes.
“Well, that’s new,” I said.
“He’s always working on something,” Everett let out before drumming on the back of the couch with a pair of drumsticks.
“Hey! Be careful with those,” Ridge called out, sitting up straighter as Stellan popped an AirPod into each ear.
A mischievous grin took over Everett’s face as he began drumming more wildly. Ridge’s features morphed into genuine concern. He started making his way out of the booth seat, forcing me out on his way.
I stood up, a laugh threatening as I glanced over at Stellan who was completely oblivious to the situation, or just generally didn’t care. Eyes closed, and fingers tapping to the music coming through his headphones. Always so serious, that one.
The guys all preoccupied, I let my feet wander in the direction of the melody, making my way to the back of the bus to where Jaxon was sitting on a bottom bunk, strumming a couple cords and then pausing to scribble notes on a piece of paper. He was with his music.
I noticed the moment he knew I was there. Mid-strum he froze and then glanced up my direction.
“Hey.” I gave a small flick of my hand.
“Hey.” He nodded.
“What’s that?” I asked, leaning against the wall.
“Something I’m workin’ on.” He shrugged my question off like it was nothing.
“Obviously.”
His eyes met mine and he ran his teeth over his bottom lip.
“It’s fiction.”
I raised a brow.
“The song. It’s called ‘Fiction,’” he clarified.
“You must tell me more,” I insisted. “What is this fiction?”
He narrowed his eyes, an amused glint passing quickly over his features.
He considered for a moment. “Come here.” He motioned to the spot next to him with his head. “I’ll show you.”
I walked over and took the seat beside him on the bed.
“A little closer. I won’t bite…too hard.”
There it goes. That shiver that starts in the base of my neck and then ripples down my spine.
I scooted over and he moved the guitar onto my lap. I gripped the neck with my left hand and then draped my right arm over the top.
He leaned in, scooting behind me in such a way that he could place his left arm around me to assist my fingers.
“Press here and here like this,” he instructed, guiding my fingers. “Now strum down with your right hand.” I followed his instruction. “Good. Now again.”
He took my hand in his, pressing my fingers into a guitar pick, and started strumming to the cadence of the song he was working on.
Letting him guide my hands, we played the parts of the song he had written. His body pressed into mine. I closed my eyes and let him take over. Giving in to the music. Giving in to him. If only for a moment.
He began to sing the words of the song, his breath on my neck sending a new wave of chills throughout me. He stilled. He felt it. Of course he felt it. I could feel every part of him pressed into me.
“Cambri.” My name left his lips on a whisper.
I turned into the sound of his voice, my face brushing up against his. Slowly, ever so slowly.
“Cam!” Ridge’s voice cut through, breaking me out of the spell Jaxon had put me under. A whisper of a laugh emerging from my lips as I pulled away from Jaxon. “The driver wants to know when we plan to stop for grub!” he shouted.
We moved apart, but our eyes stayed locked.
I stood up and took a few steps backward. I could still feel his gravity pulling me in. It made it hard to think straight.
“Don’t worry,” he said, excusing me from having to try to explain this moment. “It’s just fiction,” he informed me, picking up his guitar and getting back to work.
I blinked a couple times.
Fiction.
The song he was working on. The word he used to describe the moment that transpired between us. That keeps transpiring between us when I manage to slip behind that wall.
I turned and made my way to the front of the bus. I didn’t have the head space for this right now. I was here to make sure things ran smoothly on this tour, and right now I was needed at the front of the bus. To do just that. To do my job.
Jaxon
I watched her go. Leaving the air behind her stirred up like a live wire.
I’m not sure what it is about her. What draws me in, sneaks past my defenses. Like a siren and her sea.
The look on her face, when I gave her an out, letting the word fiction slip off my lips, was like she’d seen a ghost. And maybe she had. I certainly feel like a shadow of myself.
Cambri Norwood was the last thing I needed and everything I needed all at the same time. She was the biggest threat and the ticket to this all piecing together.
She was the lyrics of a song all mixed up so that you don’t know where it starts or ends.
After this tour, when we aren’t forced together, it will settle. She’ll leave, focused on her next endeavor, allowing me to clear her out of my head once and for all.
I just need to keep all interactions on a need-to basis until then. Get through this tour, and then on with the rest of my life.
I wasn’t expecting her to seek me out on the bus tonight. Look at me with that way of hers, making the back of my throat dry. The way she felt, settled into me…no, I’m not going there. Nothing good can come from thinking about the way she fits into me like a missing puzzle piece.
She’s here to organize this tour and make sure it runs smoothly. I just have to remind myself of that whenever my head gets other ideas. She’s here to do her job. She’ll be gone the moment we land on the other side, chasing down the next big thing.
I turned back to my guitar and soothed my mind with each strum of the strings. Getting lost in the lyrics as they formed in my head. Giving an outlet to the things I was feeling in the only way that I knew how. In the music.
I poured all my emotions into my craft. I have learned that there is a lot you cannot control in life. It has not always been easy for me to express emotions or deal with them. But I could put them into a song. Into melodies and lyrics.
I wrote my first song when I was old enough to comprehend that my dad not being around was his choice. I didn’t realize then that it was a song. Back then it was just words on a page. A way to deal with the heaviness of it. It wasn’t until a teacher gave me a guitar and ended up teaching me how to play it when I tried to give it back, that I understood it for what it was. It was then that I realized I could sing those words on the page. Put a melody behind them.
She rose from the couch, and I followed her lead. “You sure you’ll be alright alone?”
“Yes, Mom. I’ll be fine. I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“I know. But no matter how big you get; you’ll always be my baby.” She stepped forward and placed a kiss on the top of my head before making her way to the front door.
“Love you, Jaxon. I’ll be home in time to make dinner.”
“Love you too, Mom. And, sorry about today.”
She paused, giving me a smile. “I know. Thank you.” She walked over and gave me a hug, placing another kiss on my head. “Lock the door behind me.”
I nodded, watching her walk out the front door before turning the lock like she asked. I walked over to the couch and laid back, stretching out across it, leaving a foot on the ground.
I stared up at the ceiling. She says she wants me to have friends, to let people in. But I don’t know how to do that. I don’t want to do that. I’ve seen the wreckage of that kind of vulnerability.
Mom works two jobs to keep this roof over our head. Two jobs that still manage to put ramen on the table in a fairly frequent rotation. She always has a smile on her face and a positive attitude, wearing them both like protective armor.
She doesn’t know that I hear her cry behind closed doors at night. Doesn’t know that we are aware of how hard this life is on her. She does her best and we love her for it.
I don’t know if she sees how hard this is for us too. Seeing her hide in a shell of herself. Always wondering if this month we’ll be okay or barely scrape by. She opened herself up and look where that left her. I’m never setting myself up for that type of vulnerability.
I wasn’t going to lie here and dwell in the depressing. I walked to my room and grabbed the CD I’d found in my mom’s old stack, the one I hid away so no one could find it. I took it with me to the living room and put it in the CD player.
I would never admit how much this song speaks to me. How it makes me feel like I can do better and not have to ever eat another ramen noodle in my life. I will never tell another soul that this song lets me cling to a bigger hope of a brighter future. I would sound so lame. Who even listens to country music anymore?
But when it’s just me, I will put it on and let it take me to a place away from here. Where I can be anything I want to be. Somewhere that I’m not cast in the shadow of a dad who left us behind.
What my mom doesn’t know is that this was my third offense since school began. Three strikes you’re out. That’s why they sent me home this time.
It’s not that I necessarily want to get into fights. But I’m also not going to let anyone talk smack about me or my family. Someone has to stand up for us, and I’m the only man in this family who can.
I pressed play on “I’m Gonna Be Somebody” by Travis Tritt and let the melody and the lyrics make everything better. If only for a little while. If only for just today.
Chapter Thirteen
Cambri
I woke up the next morning immediately regretting all the cosmos the night before. I reached over and smacked my alarm, accidentally knocking the thing onto the floor. With a groan, I kicked a leg out of the covers. I had to wake up. I had to get going.
Duty calls.
I was meeting the guys in the studio in an hour, so I had better get a move on it.
I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed, stretching my arms out wide up and over my head. Last night ended – differently than I thought it would. Mallory never came back with Stellan, and I ended the night drinking cosmos with Ridge.
How I managed to talk to Alyssa, the girl I had gone to see, and tell her to send in some demos to the label is beyond me.
Jaxon.
I groaned, falling over onto my pillow. What the heck happened with Jaxon last night? He wasn’t even supposed to be there. Next thing I knew he was stealing a kiss and then storming out without acknowledging me at all.
I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to him today.
I forced my way off my bed. Slipping on my favorite cutoffs, a V-neck, and some Converse before pulling my hair back into a ponytail since today would be full studio and no office. I swiped on some mascara and lip gloss and was out the door.
Starting an awkward morning with coffee in hand was definitely my best option. Texting Ridge, I got everyone’s order and then was on my way.
Ready to start the day.
Yay.
I entered the studio, armed with the liquid gold, and found myself hiding behind everyone’s caffeine fix like it was a protective shield I could actually hide behind. That lasted all of six seconds before the guys grabbed their coffees.
All except for Jaxon, who was standing on the other side of the room reading through a page of notes.
He looked up, and our eyes met. His gaze doing a funny thing to my chest.
I straightened my shoulders and then made my way over to him.
Holding my arm out, I offered his cup to him, telling myself not to blink as his honey-brown eyes pierced through mine.
I was about to give him the same morning greeting that I had given everyone else when he took the cup of coffee, our fingers brushing in the process, making the words get lost on my lips.
He cleared his throat. “Thank you. For this.”
“Sure. Don’t mention it.”
He held my gaze as he took a sip of the drink, then brushed past me. Leaving me standing there facing the wall confused.
I clamped my eyes shut, taking in a steadying breath. This is ridiculous. You’re being ridiculous.
With my best grin, I turned and faced the group. “Okay guys, the clock is ticking down. We are mere weeks away from the start of the tour.”
Grunts and cheers filled the room, coffee cups raised like beer mugs.
Giving a pleased nod, I raised my cup back at them in acknowledgment. They’d earned every ounce of respect I could give. The work they had put in to make them tour ready in the short time span we were given was impressive.
“Let’s try to wrap up studio time this week. That gives us more than enough time for finalizing meetings and such with Norwood Records. As well as a little wiggle room if we need it. Sound like a plan?”
I was met with hoots and cheers in response.
“Okay then. I’ll be behind the glass if you need me. Let’s do it!”
A few late nights gave way to early mornings in the studio. Once our studio time was completed, we were pretty much living in Norwood Records for meetings and interviews. I managed to put together a pop-up show where the guys performed in a parking lot, garnering fan excitement in pre-tour momentum. At one point, I think I went more than twenty-four hours without sleeping or showering.
But we did it. We made it to the day of the tour!
Stepping up onto the tour bus, I took a minute to take it all in. This was happening. I helped put this together, and I could not wipe the smile off my face or erase the feeling of accomplishment I felt if I tried.
We were all exhausted, but at the same time, I had never felt more alive. In this moment, it felt like we had endless opportunity and potential in front of us. The feeling of stepping up onto this tour bus was an adrenaline high that I had never experienced before.
I was ready. The boys were ready. This was the first day of the rest of our lives.
I couldn’t wait.
Then I saw him. Walking up to the bus, bag hung over the back of his shoulder. Hair styled in that perfectly imperfect tousle that begged my fingers to dive in. Wearing his jeans, graphic tee, and shades in a such a way that I swear he was trying to kill me.
He gave me a nod as he stepped up onto the bus and then brushed past me. Fingertips hitting mine as he passed, causing a wave of electricity to shoot over each one up into my palm. Leaving me wondering if that was intentional or because of the lack of space entering the bus.
“Cambri,” he nodded in acknowledgement as he passed by. A lifeless greeting that was a mere formality.
Since the moment he up and left the bar that night, when Ridge and I stopped our conversation and watched him leave like the building was on fire, he has been different. A wall has gone up and I honest to God don’t know why. I’ve thought about it more times than I should.
If anything, I guess I should be grateful. It has helped us stay focused and not get off track during the last leg of tour prep. Not. A. Once.
I didn’t get a chance to spend too much time on that particular train of thought because I was wrapped in a bear hug from behind before being hoisted up into the air by Ridge.
“Caminator!” Ridge said my nickname that he’d settled on excitedly.
I tried to veto that one, but he insisted on it because I “terminated” all issues that popped up. Bless.
“Let’s do this thing!” he exclaimed.
Laughing, I greeted the playful baby of the group. He sat me down with a satisfied grin before trudging to the back of the bus. “I get top bunk!” I heard him shout excitedly.
“Cam, you think you can get ahold of that before we take off?” Stellan asked with a grin, stepping up onto the bus.
“Oh no. That’s all you,” I teased. “Welcome aboard, sir!” I offered a high five that he eagerly met.
“Saving the best for last I see.” Everett’s voice cut through as he stepped up onto the tour bus, wearing a wicked grin and rock star style shades.
“Nice shades,” I laughed.
“You like?” He wiggled them up and down. “I thought they made me look mysterious.”
Laughter bubbled up from inside me. “So mysterious,” I agreed.
“You laugh now, Cambri. But these are gonna be my chick magnet. You just wait and see.” He said confidently.
“Mmm hmm,” I nodded dramatically. “I think they are working.” I took slow steps toward him. “I am so drawn to you right now.”
He gave my arm a playful shove causing me to step back, laughing.
“Ha ha. Very funny,” Everett said, making his way to the back of the bus.
“I can’t. Stop. Moving. Closer to you.”
He turned and shot me a grin over his shoulder before walking away with a shake of his head.
All alone, I sunk down onto the couch with a satisfied sigh. Mentally running through my checklist one more time before we drove off, starting the first leg of the tour.
Eventually my thoughts drifted back to Jaxon. My head subconsciously turning toward the back of the bus as I wondered what he was doing. What he was thinking. Was it about me? Or had he figured out how to stop his thoughts from turning to me, the way that mine did to him. If only I could be so lucky.
A couple hours into the drive, I found Ridge at the table eating a pack of Oreos. I squished in next to him and reached into the container.
“Hey!” he said in protest. “What gives?”
I snuggled into him, smearing a big goofy grin onto my face. “Aw, thanks, Ridgegans,” I said in a cartoony voice. “You’re the bestest.” I took a nibble of the cookie.
He watched me with narrowed eyes before melting into his marshmallow of a self, matching my goofy grin with his own.
“Fine.” He surrendered, tilting the package toward me, offering up his sweet treats.
Grinning, I reached down for another, popping an entire cookie into my mouth. Ridge’s eyes went wide, and a laugh escaped his lips.
“You know. If this music thing doesn’t work out, we could start a spectacle show of other random talents you possess.”
I opened my mouth to retort with a witty comeback, but a sound floating up from the back of the bus had it dying on my lips. A guitar. The melody filling the space, stealing all of our attention before blending with the sound of Jaxon’s voice.
I paused, looking up to meet the remaining band members’ eyes.
“Well, that’s new,” I said.
“He’s always working on something,” Everett let out before drumming on the back of the couch with a pair of drumsticks.
“Hey! Be careful with those,” Ridge called out, sitting up straighter as Stellan popped an AirPod into each ear.
A mischievous grin took over Everett’s face as he began drumming more wildly. Ridge’s features morphed into genuine concern. He started making his way out of the booth seat, forcing me out on his way.
I stood up, a laugh threatening as I glanced over at Stellan who was completely oblivious to the situation, or just generally didn’t care. Eyes closed, and fingers tapping to the music coming through his headphones. Always so serious, that one.
The guys all preoccupied, I let my feet wander in the direction of the melody, making my way to the back of the bus to where Jaxon was sitting on a bottom bunk, strumming a couple cords and then pausing to scribble notes on a piece of paper. He was with his music.
I noticed the moment he knew I was there. Mid-strum he froze and then glanced up my direction.
“Hey.” I gave a small flick of my hand.
“Hey.” He nodded.
“What’s that?” I asked, leaning against the wall.
“Something I’m workin’ on.” He shrugged my question off like it was nothing.
“Obviously.”
His eyes met mine and he ran his teeth over his bottom lip.
“It’s fiction.”
I raised a brow.
“The song. It’s called ‘Fiction,’” he clarified.
“You must tell me more,” I insisted. “What is this fiction?”
He narrowed his eyes, an amused glint passing quickly over his features.
He considered for a moment. “Come here.” He motioned to the spot next to him with his head. “I’ll show you.”
I walked over and took the seat beside him on the bed.
“A little closer. I won’t bite…too hard.”
There it goes. That shiver that starts in the base of my neck and then ripples down my spine.
I scooted over and he moved the guitar onto my lap. I gripped the neck with my left hand and then draped my right arm over the top.
He leaned in, scooting behind me in such a way that he could place his left arm around me to assist my fingers.
“Press here and here like this,” he instructed, guiding my fingers. “Now strum down with your right hand.” I followed his instruction. “Good. Now again.”
He took my hand in his, pressing my fingers into a guitar pick, and started strumming to the cadence of the song he was working on.
Letting him guide my hands, we played the parts of the song he had written. His body pressed into mine. I closed my eyes and let him take over. Giving in to the music. Giving in to him. If only for a moment.
He began to sing the words of the song, his breath on my neck sending a new wave of chills throughout me. He stilled. He felt it. Of course he felt it. I could feel every part of him pressed into me.
“Cambri.” My name left his lips on a whisper.
I turned into the sound of his voice, my face brushing up against his. Slowly, ever so slowly.
“Cam!” Ridge’s voice cut through, breaking me out of the spell Jaxon had put me under. A whisper of a laugh emerging from my lips as I pulled away from Jaxon. “The driver wants to know when we plan to stop for grub!” he shouted.
We moved apart, but our eyes stayed locked.
I stood up and took a few steps backward. I could still feel his gravity pulling me in. It made it hard to think straight.
“Don’t worry,” he said, excusing me from having to try to explain this moment. “It’s just fiction,” he informed me, picking up his guitar and getting back to work.
I blinked a couple times.
Fiction.
The song he was working on. The word he used to describe the moment that transpired between us. That keeps transpiring between us when I manage to slip behind that wall.
I turned and made my way to the front of the bus. I didn’t have the head space for this right now. I was here to make sure things ran smoothly on this tour, and right now I was needed at the front of the bus. To do just that. To do my job.
Jaxon
I watched her go. Leaving the air behind her stirred up like a live wire.
I’m not sure what it is about her. What draws me in, sneaks past my defenses. Like a siren and her sea.
The look on her face, when I gave her an out, letting the word fiction slip off my lips, was like she’d seen a ghost. And maybe she had. I certainly feel like a shadow of myself.
Cambri Norwood was the last thing I needed and everything I needed all at the same time. She was the biggest threat and the ticket to this all piecing together.
She was the lyrics of a song all mixed up so that you don’t know where it starts or ends.
After this tour, when we aren’t forced together, it will settle. She’ll leave, focused on her next endeavor, allowing me to clear her out of my head once and for all.
I just need to keep all interactions on a need-to basis until then. Get through this tour, and then on with the rest of my life.
I wasn’t expecting her to seek me out on the bus tonight. Look at me with that way of hers, making the back of my throat dry. The way she felt, settled into me…no, I’m not going there. Nothing good can come from thinking about the way she fits into me like a missing puzzle piece.
She’s here to organize this tour and make sure it runs smoothly. I just have to remind myself of that whenever my head gets other ideas. She’s here to do her job. She’ll be gone the moment we land on the other side, chasing down the next big thing.
I turned back to my guitar and soothed my mind with each strum of the strings. Getting lost in the lyrics as they formed in my head. Giving an outlet to the things I was feeling in the only way that I knew how. In the music.
I poured all my emotions into my craft. I have learned that there is a lot you cannot control in life. It has not always been easy for me to express emotions or deal with them. But I could put them into a song. Into melodies and lyrics.
I wrote my first song when I was old enough to comprehend that my dad not being around was his choice. I didn’t realize then that it was a song. Back then it was just words on a page. A way to deal with the heaviness of it. It wasn’t until a teacher gave me a guitar and ended up teaching me how to play it when I tried to give it back, that I understood it for what it was. It was then that I realized I could sing those words on the page. Put a melody behind them.
