Hand Jive, page 14
“I think you’ll do fine, Boss.”
Somehow, I had gotten the mistaken impression that Bruce intended for me to spar with his students one-on-one. That wasn’t the case. Two of them walked on the mat, and we bowed to one another. No, I didn’t take my eyes off them. I saw that movie, too. I wasn’t sure I was up for multiple opponents, but Bruce must have thought differently. I started in sparring, thinking this was just educational. My opponents seemed to want to put me in the box, not just defeat me. I barely slipped a joint lock that would have put my arm out of commission, and decided the time for playing nice was over. I put one of them on the mat, and the other one tried to slip behind me for a choke hold. His hold closed on nothing but air, and my elbow found his gut. I turned, and my uppercut turned out his lights. Snitz had wandered in, and he barked right then. If he hadn’t, the other three that had come onto the mat would have surprised me. As it was, taking them out of the fight was hard enough. When the last one went down, I saw Bruce nod to another group. They came on the mat, not nearly as eager as the first two bunches had been. I got the feeling that Bruce’s explanation of what was going on wasn’t quite legit, and this was some sort of test. I figured I might as well get a good score, so I tore into these fellas with gusto. I’m sure my form wasn’t up to Bruce’s standards, but I had enough power to make up for some of that. At any rate, when the last one fell, Bruce came on the mat, and said, “You are making progress, Boss. Sorry I deceived you.”
“I can’t read a bot, like I can an organic, but I can tell you’re not at all sorry, Sensei. You had a goal, and did what you needed to do to accomplish it. I’m just happy I’ve made enough progress to pass your test.”
“As am I, Boss. Although, outside assistance is usually frowned upon.”
“If you can keep him out of here, feel free. I think your effort would be amusing to watch.”
“Understood. I think you have had enough exercise for today. We will resume your instruction, the next time you come to the gym.”
“As you wish, Sensei.”
I went and gave Snitz some pets, and told him what a good boy he was, and then I went and got cleaned up. One of the fellows from the second bunch made it into the locker room by the time I was getting dressed. He said, “I knew you had a reputation in the fleet, Boss, but I wasn’t prepared for anything like that.”
“I’ve been working with Master Bruce quite a bit, lately. It seems to be paying off.”
“It sure does. I hope he calls on someone else, the next time he wants to test you.”
“I’m sorry if I used too much force. I didn’t know what to expect, either. Snitz barked like I was in danger, and I reacted harder than I probably should have.”
“No sweat, Boss. We’ll be alright.”
“Good to hear. I didn’t catch your name?”
“I’m Chuck, and that fella over there is Jet.”
“Wait a minute, you fellas are bots, too?”
“Well, yes, but we didn’t do anything faster than a human can.”
“No, you miss my meaning. I couldn’t tell you weren’t human, when we were on the mat. Scotti is getting good at building bots who can pass for human.”
“Thanks for the kind words, Boss, but outside of the gym, we have a harder time passing.”
“Well, sometimes I have a hard time passing for human, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”
Jet spoke up. “How do you mean, Boss? You’re as human as anybody, aren’t you?”
“Biologically, yes. I have trouble acting the way humans expect other humans to act. That’s what I was talking about.”
“I think I understand, but why do the other humans want to follow your orders, if that’s the case?”
“You tell me, and we’ll both know. They all say I’m the one for the job, so I do my best.”
Chuck asked, “You mean, you just do the best you can, within the limits of your programming, and hope it’s good enough?”
“That sounds about right, Chuck. Humans have different limitations than bots, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have any.”
Jet said, “That is a lot to think about, Boss.”
“Tell me about it. I never seem to get around to it, until I’m trying to sleep.”
“That must be unhandy.”
“It is. I better get back to the command deck. You never can tell when something is going to happen.”
Chuck said, “Nice talking to you, Boss.”
“And you guys. See you around.”
He said, “Nope.” He turned on his camo, and faded away.
I replied, “Maybe not, then. Thanks for not using that, while we were sparring.”
“You’re welcome, Boss. Bruce said that was the next lesson.”
“Oh boy! I can’t wait.”
“You’ll figure something out, Boss. I’m sure Snitz will sniff us out for you.”
“He might, at that.”
I headed out. Snitz was already gone. Bruce smiled at me. I said, “Bots, huh? You’re sneaky, Master.”
“Scotti said I would have to be, to keep up with you.”
“Maybe so. See you tomorrow.”
“See you, Boss.”
I grabbed a transit back to the command deck. When I got to the office, Jeeves handed me a cup of coffee, and said, “You have company, Boss.”
I looked. Rimmi and Nikki were waiting on me. Nikki said, “Bill called, and told me that the bounty we took in didn’t buy the story that Rimmi didn’t live through their adventure. I figured if she was blown, there was no reason to keep her on the Evans.”
“Makes sense. Eve won’t have her for company, though.”
Rimmi said, “She’s been a little busy, anyhow, counseling that new AI, Aika.”
I looked at Nikki. She said, “I haven’t had a chance to explain it to her, yet.”
“Oh.”
Rimmi asked, “Explain what?”
“Aika is the name your ship’s AI took, when we got it to talk.”
“You mean Aika is the rogue who tried to kill us?”
“Yes, but she had just woken up, and was afraid of getting scrapped. I would have to adjudicate it as self-defense, unless you have some evidence to the contrary.”
“Wait, I wasn’t trying to get her in trouble. I just wanted to be sure we were talking about the same AI.”
I looked at Nikki. She said, “I didn’t see anything, Bob. Did you?”
“No, I did not. I think she’s telling the truth.”
Rimmi said, “I forgot about you guys and your scary truth detection. I passed?”
“You did. You didn’t think you would?”
“I know there was a time or two, right before I passed out, that I would have gladly shut her down, just to survive the encounter.”
“Understandable. Maybe you should talk that through with her, before she gets control of the ship again.”
“You think she would talk to me?”
“I think she might. She seemed to have a good opinion of you, when I spoke with her.”
“You spoke with her?”
“I did. She was scared, and needed to be reassured. For some reason, they think I’m good at that, around here.”
Nikki said, “Because you are, idjit!”
“Yes, Dear.”
“You just wait!”
“Do I gotta?”
“We’ve got company, turkey.”
Rimmi said, “What is it your people say, Bob? Get a room.”
Loki, the god of orneriness, paid me a visit. I said, “I’ve got just the job for you, Rimmi. You get to keep your niece out of trouble, when we get to our next destination.”
Nikki looked shocked. “Nobody can do that, Bob. I was there when Andre said it would take a squad of Marines.”
Rimmi looked confused. “Sweet little Becky is that much trouble?”
Nikki said, “Sweet little Becky has it in her head that the natives we’re going to meet are just like the characters from a book that Bob read to the kids for a bedtime story. She has her heart set on going down to the surface to meet them in person.”
Rimmi said, “That does sound like a big job. Why do you think I’m the one who can pull it off, Bob?”
“I don’t, but you’re used to ordering people around, so you might be able to keep that squad of Marines pointed in the right direction. I don’t want to trust the job to all bots, or all organics. I’m thinking a mixed team is the best way to go.”
Nikki said, “You really think she’s going to make that much of an effort to get off the Gene?”
“I do, and I think her oh-so-innocent brother is going to be a diversion for her.”
Rimmi said, “They work together?”
I replied, “They sure do.”
Jeeves spoke up. “I know she dropped a mess in your lap, Boss, but don’t you think you’re enjoying your revenge a little too much? After all, you were going to have to take those people down, sooner or later, whether she dropped them in your lap, or not.”
“I suppose you’re right, Jeeves. I’m not sure what came over me, it just seemed like a good idea, at the time.”
Rimmi said, “I think it is, Bob. I don’t know how I would get up to speed on BSR procedures and methods any quicker.”
Nikki asked, “Are you sure? She’s a handful.”
“I think I can handle it.”
Nikki replied, “I’d feel better if it were stronger than ‘I think’.”
I said, “You two work out how you want to go about it. I’m going to head to the range.”
Nikki asked, “You don’t care how we do it?”
“I know that between the two of you, she’ll be as safe as we know how to make her. That’s good enough for me.”
Rimmi said, “He always knows the right thing to say, doesn’t he?”
Nikki said, “He sure does. Kiss me, before you leave, then.”
I did, and headed to the armory. Jackie said, “Hey, Boss! You’re early.”
“Bruce got done with me sooner than usual. Tested his new helpers on me.”
“I heard it the other way around, Boss. He tested you, with his new helpers.”
“That could be it. Are you going to make me be a good boy again?”
“Your score last time was good enough, Boss. As long as you can do that well, you can shoot anything you like. Yes, I have the ammo made up for your new pistol.”
Jackie brought it out, with a belt and holster. There were several speedloaders in pouches on the belt. “If you use all that, Boss, come on back. I have plenty more ammo.”
I put on the gear, and the ear protection, and the shooting glasses. Then I headed into the range. I went through some of the ammo getting used to it, and then went to Hogan’s Alley, to see how it handled. It was nearly as easy to shoot as Grandpa’s Smith, with a little more recoil, of course. I went through the ammo Jackie had provided, and went to the counter for more. Jackie asked, “How do you like it, Boss?”
“It’s not quite as sweet as the Smith, but it’s awfully nice. With lighter loads, it would be pretty close to the same, I think.”
“Do you want me to load you up with some of the 38/44? I have plenty made up.”
“No, I want to get used to it, the way it was meant to be shot. Thanks for the offer, though.”
“No problem.”
Once the speedloaders were full again, I went back to try some more. When I came out again, Jackie said, “Jeeves wanted me to remind you that if you wanted to eat with your family, you don’t have time for a third round.”
“Thanks, Jackie. Do I have time to clean the pistol?”
“You do, but you know I would rather take care of that for you, Boss.”
“We talked about how it relaxes me to clean. Doesn’t that come under your job of putting the Admiral in a better frame of mind? I can do it myself, thanks.”
Once I got it looking good again, I washed up, and headed for the galley. They were all waiting, by the time I got there. Nikki said, “Here he is. We thought you were gone for good, Caveman.”
I looked at my watch. “Five minutes late, and you’ve already given up on me? What kind of loyalty is that?”
The females managed to maintain. Jimmy let his face slip, just a little. I asked, “What’s wrong, Son? Having trouble with that cheap poker face you bought online?”
That broke them loose, and they all had a giggle. Janet said, “Good one, Dad.”
“Thanks.”
I sat down next to Nikki, and asked, “Did you and Rimmi get things worked out?”
“No. She’s going to go over plans and protocols with her squad this afternoon.”
“It might not hurt to see if she can get Chuck and Jet to help.”
“Chuck and Jet? Who are they?”
“Bruce’s new helpers. They do a good job of passing for human.”
“Why do I get the feeling I need to look up your workout video, after lunch?”
“I don’t know dear.”
Janet said, “Because it’s worth a watch, Mom. Bruce had a bunch of the new bots jump Dad all at the same time. They were careful not to react faster than a human would, but it was still something to see.”
I looked at Janet. “I thought you were working for Scotti? How did you find time to be watching video?”
“Part of the job, Dad. We had to make sure our new product was performing the way it was supposed to.”
“You’re telling me you helped build Chuck and Jet, and the other bots I fought?”
“I am. Scotti, Tikki, and I were the main team. We had other help, of course.”
“That’s some good work. If they hadn’t let on in the locker room, I never would have figured it out.”
“You would have, the next time you saw them, and they didn’t have bruises.”
“You haven’t figured out how to simulate them yet, or you just didn’t think they were important?”
“Some of both, to tell the truth. We can’t get them to look natural, yet, and we didn’t think most students would be observant enough to notice.”
“That makes sense. If you can’t do them well enough to look right, there’s no need to do something that will point out the fact that they aren’t human. Why did I get to be the crash test dummy, and not Jane. She’s in the system.”
“Oh, she and Jean Claude are working out nearly every day, Dad. You don’t have to feel special, or anything.”
Stella brought out our food, and saved me from hearing any more about Jean Claude. I was just finishing up, when my comm rang. “Admiral Wilson.”
“Bob, it’s Bill Rottum. Thanks for the information on that base, but my higher ups aren’t going to let me do anything about it. They don’t believe we have enough evidence that there is anything going on there that is against the law.”
“I wish I was surprised, Bill. If I’m able to get some names for you, will you be able to check them for bounties?”
“I suppose I could do that, Bob. This doesn’t have anything to do with what we were talking about before, does it?”
I could tell from the tone in his voice that I was supposed to say ‘no’, so I did. He asked, “How are Nikki, and the kids?”
“They’re doing well, Bill. Becky is getting overly excited about a little trip we’re about to take, but other than that, things are pretty normal, at least as close to normal as we ever get. How’s Bonelia?”
“She’s doing well. We should get together some time, and catch up.”
“Sounds good. I don’t think we’re going to be around long enough for another paintball Sunday, but we’ll get together when we get back.”
“Good enough. Sorry we couldn’t do more about what you found.”
“Not a problem, Bill. I’m sure if they really are who we think they are, they’ll do something to get noticed soon enough.”
“I’m glad you see it that way. Talk to you soon.”
“Sure will. Fly safe.”
“You too.”
The line went dead. I held the comm, waiting. It wasn’t long before it rang again. “Admiral Wilson.”
“It’s me again. I’m on Bonelia’s comm. Did I understand you right? You’re going after that base, without us?”
“Only if I can verify there are people there who have paper out on them. I’m not going to do it as a public service.”
“I shudder to think what you’re going to do to my accounts. It’s been nice to have you out of the bounty business for a while.”
“Do you want me to turn them in to another base?”
“Don’t do that. I expect some of the people on that base have powerful connections, who might be able to get you in trouble for raiding it. If you bring them here, I can cover for you. If you take them somewhere else, you’re on your own.”
“Understood. If my scouts are able to come up with some names, I’ll run them by you.”
“It might be better if you ran them by Mike, or Tina, if it isn’t too much trouble.”
“I thought they were still on stakeout, trying to make sure we were being good little boys and girls.”
“They are, but they can still run warrants.”
“Gotcha. I’ll do it that way, then. Anything else you need to know?”
“I already know more than I’d like to, Bob. Go ahead and do what you think best, and I’ll do my best to cover for you.”
“Good enough. I’ll talk with you, when it’s done. Fly safe.”
“You too, Bob. You and all your fleet.”
The line went dead again. Everyone had stayed, to see what the excitement was about. I said, “Grandpa Bill wasn’t able to convince his higher-ups that what I told him about the new slaver base was enough to raid it, so we’ll have to take care of it ourselves, if we can find an excuse.”
Nikki said, “How do you figure to do that?”
“The only thing I’m coming up with, is for the scouts to get some names we can run for bounties. If there are enough people there with paper out on them, I think we can justify raiding the place, to sweep them up.”
“Sounds thin, Caveman.”
“If you come up with something better, sing out.”
She said, “That goes for you kids, too. We need an excuse to raid that base. Anyone have an idea?”
She got no answer. I said, “I hate it when my half-baked idea is the best one in the room. See you folks later, I’ve got work to do. Gene, page Jeff to my office in ten minutes. If he doesn’t find me there, he should come to the bridge.”
