Game Ender, page 16
“Mee-han,” little Alex says, wriggling in Sean’s arms until he lets her go. The minute her feet hit the ground she’s off to join the scrummage with her siblings.
I smile as I watch them, imagining what life would be like with three kids. Picturing what any children Thomas and I might have could look like. What was once a pipe dream is now more probable than possible as our relationship seems to become more and more permanent as every day passes.
“Should we leave Brody to sleep?” the man in question asks from beside me, knocking me from my thoughts.
I look down at my peacefully sleeping son, calculating the likelihood of him going down for the night later. “We should probably wake him. If I nurse him now, he can have some tummy time and he should be good to go when we leave.”
“Sounds like a plan, sweetness.” He leans in to kiss my lips and rub his nose against the side of mine before turning to Sam. “Do you mind if I change him in the living room? I’m just going to get him up.”
“Not a problem. I’ll go grab you a towel.”
I watch this whole scene play out and honestly wonder how I got so lucky. Good friends and family, an awesome son, an amazing boyfriend, and I realize that for the first time in a long time I’m truly happy.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Sean asks from the kitchen. I make my way over to him and take a seat at the boat-sized kitchen island.
He watches me like I’m an animal rarely seen in the wild and the longer he does it, the more disconcerted I become.
“What?”
“I like you like this.”
“Like what?” I tilt my head and narrow my eyes at him.
“Content. Comfortable. Just . . . you.”
“Now what does that mean?” I ask as I hear happy Brody squeals from the other side of the monstrosity that is Sean’s house.
Sean puts his hand on the counter and leans forward, pinning me in place with his ‘now listen here’ stare. “Amy, it means that I’m happy that you’re happy. I’m over the fucking moon. You deserve everything you’ve got right now and more.”
I shake my head at him, knowing that he’s slipped into the big brother role he plays oh so well.
He looks over my shoulder as Thomas and Sam’s voices get closer. “Can we talk later?” he asks, dropping his voice to a low whisper.
“About . . . ?” I raise a brow, confused as to why he’s being secretive.
“Just make sure we talk before you leave tonight.” Alrighty then.
“Okay . . .” I lean toward him, whispering back, “why are we whispering?”
He shakes his head and scowls, trying his ‘I mean business’ look on me even though he knows it never works.
Standing up straight, he grins at Sam as she rounds the island and slides her arm around his waist. “At least my nasty dom looks work on you.”
“Or I let you think they work on me.”
Sean’s head jerks back as he regards his wife, his brows almost hitting his hairline. “I think we’ll test this theory out later.” Sam blushes—freaking blushes—her ice queen cop persona nowhere to be seen.
Thomas wraps his arms around me and I lean back into him.
“How’s Brody?”
“He’s good. I changed his diaper and he’s lying under a play gym Sam set up for him.”
“Helps that our kids think he’s a new toy to play with,” Sean adds, his grin growing when Thomas’s arms tighten around me as I start to get up.
“I just want to—”
“He’s fine, Amz. Relax,” Thomas says in my ear, his warm breath sending a delicious tremble down to my happily serviced but now-in-need-of-more-attention lady parts.
“Dinner should be ready in about fifteen minutes if that’s okay,” Sam announces. “That’ll give you guys enough time to wrangle the kids and get them up to the table.” By the time she’s finished, she’s looking up at her smirking husband, the smart bastard not missing the instruction.
“You’re lucky I love you,” Sean murmurs, dipping his head to kiss his wife’s mouth. “We’ve been told, Thomas. Maybe this will give you practice for when you guys have your own herd of kids.”
Thomas kisses my temple, giving me a chance to hide my reaction to the kid comment while taking another hit of his swoon-inducing aftershave. Whatever it is, I want to bathe in it and spray it in every corner of my house so I can forever remain in a Thomas fog.
When I told him that earlier tonight when he emerged from my bathroom, he shook his head at me like I was a loon and chuckled as he dropped his towel and shucked his pants on.
Of course, I wasn’t laughing at Thomas walking around my bed naked as the day he was born, my mind was focused on something else entirely; a something that obviously he knew I was looking at and he decided to put on a show for me, a command performance in fact.
“You look happy,” Sam says from the stove top where she’s stirring something delicious smelling in a pot.
“That’s because I am.”
“Has Ryan called you?” she asks, never being one to beat around the bush. Turning to face me, her eyes are now soft, but inquisitive.
Ryan is Sean’s brother. Also, the former bar manager at Throb who I had the drunken late night romp with approximately sixteen months ago, resulting in my gorgeous Brody.
“I wasn’t expecting him to. He made himself pretty clear when I told him I was pregnant, then again when he walked away, never to be seen or heard from again.”
“He’s in town again. He turned up on our doorstep a few days ago.”
Well, fuck.
“Is he . . .”
“Yes, he’s sober and going to GA and AA meetings. He’s got a sponsor too. He says he’s been sober for twelve months now.”
“That’s good, Sam. But you’ll have to forgive me if I’m not rushing out for balloons and streamers to celebrate his return.” I take a deep breath, trying to relieve the tension in my shoulders that has my head feeling like it’s in a vise.
“I know, Amz, and Sean knows that too. But Ryan asked about you and about the baby, and I think he wants to talk to you.”
My body jerks back like I’ve been hit, the stool I’m sitting on scraping back against the tiles as I get to my feet.
“Oh no. Hell no.”
“Amy . . .”
“No, Sam. He doesn’t get to run away from responsibility for something we both did, then try and walk back in almost sixteen months later.”
“I’m not sure he’s—”
“I mean, Brody’s six months old for Christ’s sake. Where was Ryan when his son was born? Where was he when Brody was sick at two months old?” I heave in a breath, needing more oxygen before I continue my tirade. “My son doesn’t need another father figure, especially not a biological parent who didn’t stand up when he should’ve. He’s got Thomas. He’s the only dad he needs.” My voice is a near shout at this stage and just my luck, it’s the exact moment that Sean emerges from the hallway followed by three smiling and laughing children, with Thomas and Brody coming up in the rear.
The expression on both of the men’s faces morphs into concern when they see my face, my eyes feeling like they’re going to pop out of my head from the pressure of it all.
“Amz?” Thomas asks, coming straight to me. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing,” I say, letting out the breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“Considering I’ve only heard you speak like that one other time and that was when you were trying to end things with me because you thought you were a pity screw, I know for a fact that you’re lying to me right now.”
I burrow my face in his chest, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from coming when his strong arms pull me in close.
It’s not that I’m sad, it’s that I’m so freaking mad I’m close to losing it.
My life is so good right now, why would I want anything—or anyone—to come in and fuck with my perfectly balanced scales.
I feel a tiny fist grab a clump of hair and I turn my head to be met with the curious blue eyes of Brody. That’s all I get to see though as he soon dives right on in, giving me a slobbery attempt at a cheek kiss that actually gets my nose. I snort as Thomas pulls back just a little and meets my eyes.
“You know I’m going to make you tell me, right?”
I sigh and nod. “Yeah, but let’s enjoy tonight. I’m hungry and dinner smells amazing.”
“I need to know you’re okay, sweetness.” His eyes are so soft, his concern obvious.
“I’m okay,” I whisper just as my head is tugged sideways by my hair thanks to my son. “And I think this little guy wants his dinner too.”
Moving back, Thomas hands Brody over to me, watching me closely as he does it.
I look over at Sean who is leaning against the wall with his arms and ankles crossed, his piercing gaze pinned on me.
I quirk a brow at him, a silent challenge for him to bring up the subject of his brother again. He yields first—a very rare occurrence indeed—and gives a quick jerk of his head. I shoot a knowing smirk his way which earns a twitch of his lips.
Work wife—one, alpha dom boss—zero. Now I’ve just gotta deal with Thomas later and I’ll be two and oh for the night.
Amy is noticeably quiet on the drive home from Sean’s house.
I may have missed the start of her talk with Sam but I sure as shit didn’t miss the end when she said I’m the only dad Brody needs. That felt fucking fantastic and would have been a Hallmark moment had it not been for the revelation that Ryan Miller is Brody’s father.
I was so conflicted, wanting to fist pump the air with one hand while using the other to hunt Ryan down and knock him out.
But Amy needed me to keep my cool, so I did. I wanted to be the calm in her storm and as always, as soon as I had her cocooned in my arms, she sagged into me. It helped that Brody decided in that moment to be cute and try and suck her face off.
Never have I ever felt more protective of the two of them than I did in that moment.
Never have I felt more pride in my life either.
“Brodz did really well tonight.”
“Yeah.” Her tone is flat and I can tell she’s distracted.
“Amz, I think we should—”
She turns her head and rests her cheek on the headrest, her eyes set on me. “I love you.” Three words that never fail to make me feel like a fucking superhero.
I reach my hand over and gently squeeze her leg. “I could hear you say that to me every day for the rest of my life and it would still make me feel invincible.”
“I’ll remember that.” Comfortable silence stretches between us and it’s not until a few minutes have passed that Amy speaks again. “I want to talk about it but I want to do it with your arms around me.”
“Okay, sweetness. That I can definitely do.”
And that was that.
Now we’re on Amy’s couch, lying side by side with our legs entwined, my fingers playing mindlessly with a strand of her hair having just been given the full story of Ryan Miller and his lack of involvement with Amy and in turn, Brody.
“Are you mad at me?” Her voice is quiet, almost timid, and very un-Amy like. My head jerks at her question. How can she think that?
“I’ve got absolutely no reason to be mad at you. It’s not like you were purposefully not telling me he was Brody’s father. Ryan, on the other hand, is a different story.”
“Why? I didn’t think you knew him?”
“I only met him a few times but knowing that he walked away from you guys has me fighting the urge to hunt him down, kick his ass then sterilize him.”
She giggles and rests her forehead against mine. “I think that’s the first stage.”
“Why’s that?”
“I wanted to do the same thing when he told me he couldn’t deal with me being pregnant. He’d fallen off the wagon for the millionth time the night we hooked up. And that’s all it was, a drunken hookup. Despite what Megan said tonight, Ryan and I were never anything more than colleagues. I want you to know that.”
I run my hand over her hair, down her back and up again. “It’s okay, sweetness.”
“I’m sorry I got so animated at Sean’s place. I felt blindsided, so I reacted. I knew he’d come back at some stage but I didn’t think he’d ask about either of us.”
“You were a mama bear protecting her cub. It’s totally understandable.” She inches her hands under my tee, sliding her fingers against my skin. There’s no intent in her actions, it’s more comfort than anything else.
“I don’t know how I should feel. I mean, he’s Brody’s father, he has rights, I know that, it’s just—”
“He has no fucking rights,” I growl through gritted teeth. “He gave everything up when he walked away.”
“It was the best thing for everyone involved.”
“It was the best thing for Ryan. Everything he’s done was about Ryan and only Ryan. If you’re man enough to have sex, you’re man enough to face up to the consequences if there are any.”
Her hands rub over my pecs before she curves her fingers around my shoulders. “Like you did?”
She gets me, she totally fucking gets me. Can she be more perfect? Never have I been surer of the fact that Amy was meant to be my last than right now.
I kiss her because right now I need to kiss her. I touch my lips to hers gently, knowing this isn’t one of those ‘leading into something’ kisses. No, it’s an expression of emotion, of feeling, a need to have a physical connection to the woman I love during what I know must be a confusing time for her.
“Yeah, I did the crime, I did my time.” I try not to laugh—I really do—but the fact that my ‘time’ involved getting a swab stick stuck down places no man wants a swab stick to go and telling a few very disgruntled women that I had an STD, is actually quite funny. At the time it wasn’t, but now it definitely is.
When Amy’s body starts to shake against mine, and a soft snort escapes her lips, I give up the ghost and start chuckling quietly too.
By the time we get that out of our system, I decide it’s time to make sure she’s really okay.
I pull back slightly and bring my arms between us, cupping her cheeks to ensure I have her full intention.
“Now tell me the truth, how are you really feeling?” Her eyes go from wary to gentle as she leans her face into my touch.
“I’m indifferent when it comes to him not supporting me but when it comes to Brody, I’m like you said, a mama bear. An angry mama bear who needs to protect everyone she loves. Not just Brody but you too.”
“Why me?”
“Because you are just as much a part of this family as I am. You’re the one who’s been here for me and for Brody since the day he was born.”
“I wasn’t much for you before that,” I concede.
“We weren’t like that before Lucky Charms and dirty grocery store floors.” She grins at me, and I kiss her hard and fast, wiping the smile off her face and leaving her struggling to breathe by the end of it.
“You may not have been much to me back then, but you’re everything to us now.”
“You look well and truly fucked,” Mia announces the minute I open my front door on Monday night for our Bachelorette viewing party this time. Danika and Abi follow closely behind her.
“Take that back,” I reply, pointing my finger at Mia. “Oh and hi, how are you? I’m great, thanks for asking.” She smirks at me but doesn’t greet me like any other normal human being would.
“Nope,” she replies, shaking her head. “You have crazy sex hair and lips that say you’ve been sucking cock like a lollipop. You’ve totally been riding the Thomas train. Did he at least make you toot? Is he still here? I’ll ask the man himself if you won’t tell me.”
“Mia!” Dani gasps as she drops down to the floor to pick Brody up from his mat where he’s sitting up happily bashing a drum Thomas bought him last week. “Stop it!”
“Well trains don’t squirt so toot is an acceptable analogy,” Abi adds, helpfully as they all make themselves comfortable in the living room. My stepmom Kristy emerges from the kitchen, wine bottle and a plate of snacks in hand.
“Am I wrong?” Mia says, not giving up. When both Abi and Dani shake their heads, agreeing with her, she turns her attention back to me. “So sit down and tell us all about it. Is he a grower or a shower? Because in my mind he just has to be packing down there. He’s way too charming and cocky to be small. And let’s be honest, after waiting so long between drinks, it wouldn’t be right for you to get one that doesn’t touch the sides.”
“Mia!” Dani gasps while Abi just laughs her ass off.
“What? I can’t be the only one that’s curious? It’s like she’s been tied to the bed as his sex slave the last few months. They both barely come up for air and I’m not the only one who’s noticed.”
When I finally stop laughing because honestly, there’s nobody else who puts things quite the way Mia does, I shoot her a knowing wink.
“A lady never tells.”
“You haven’t been anything close to a lady since the moment you were born. Spill, woman,” Mia presses. I look at Kristy whose eyes are dancing with amusement. Definitely no sign of this being TMI for her. Well, it would be TMI for anybody other than these women. The only other person I know that has no filter and holds nothing back is Mac.
“I’m sorry you feel neglected. Should I schedule you in my calendar in between sessions?”
“I think you should,” Mia replies, her lips twitching as she struggles to hold back a giggle.
“Add me in too,” Abi says with a knowing grin. I turn my attention to Dani.
“You too?” I quirk a brow, this whole conversation turning almost farcical.
“Nope. I’m good. Besides, I’m too busy practicing making one of these beautiful things,” she says, turning her attention to a yawning Brody in her lap.
I get up and walk over to her. “I think my boy needs a final feeding and then I’ll put him down for the night.”
Dani’s eyes go to my boobs before she looks back up at my face. “That still fascinates me. I’ve seen Zoe, Mia and Kate nurse their babies but the whole thing is truly amazing. And your rack is pretty damn impressive, Amz.”
