The End of Refuge, page 27
“You’re friends with Avery, right?” Juliet asked. She knew she shouldn’t ask about him, but her curiosity prevailed.
“I am,” she answered slowly, glancing sideways at Juliet.
“Is he mad at me?” Wanda pushed away the array of tubes and her micro tab and turned to give Juliet her undivided attention.
“If you want to know how he’s feeling, you should ask Avery,” Wanda said gently.
“I know.” Juliet looked down at her lap, embarrassed she brought him up. “He did something, and I got really upset, and I didn’t really handle it in a… mature way.”
“First of all, Avery is a big boy. He can handle just about anything you throw at him. Secondly, there is nothing you can do to make him stop caring for you. Even if you killed his puppy, he would still adore you.”
Juliet smiled at Wanda. “Thanks.”
“Anytime.” Wanda resumed taking notes on her micro tab. Once finished, she returned the tray of tubes to the supply shed then came back to sit with Juliet. “You look like you’re doing so much better than when you came over for dinner a few weeks ago,” Wanda commented.
“I am,” Juliet confessed. “I hit a pretty rough couple of days, but Derrick helped me pull through.”
“He must have given you just the push you needed.”
“Thank you for visiting with me,” Juliet said. “I’m going to head out to lunch.”
“Anytime,” Wanda said, giving her a hug before they parted.
Juliet decided she should find Avery and talk with him as well. She wasn’t sure what she’d say but figured something would come to her. She walked down the main hall toward the center and when she got there, sat down on one of the blue sofas and waited for him.
When he came in, he made his way over to Juliet. “Juliet,” he said, “Are you here to see me?”
“Yes,” she said. Avery didn’t sit next to her on the sofa but instead across in an armchair.
“I didn’t bring an extra sandwich for you.”
“That’s fine, I’ll get something to eat at the cafeteria before they close up.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Avery asked, “Why are you here?” His tone was curious and not condescending. “Did you have something you wanted to say?”
“Well, no,” she began. “Actually yes. I’m leaving Refuge. Tonight.”
“Really?” He raised his brows, his blue eyes wide in question. “May I ask how?”
“I don’t really want to go into the details…” her voice trailed off. She wasn’t sure why she felt compelled to tell Avery she was leaving when she planned on telling no one. In the end, he had told her the truth, so she decided to do the same. “I am going to hide in one of the shipment boxes.”
As Avery’s face fell, she immediately regretted telling him. “Is there anything I can say to convince you not to go through with this plan?”
“You don’t want me to get out?” she asked.
“I do want you to get out. If I could choose just one person in Refuge to escape this place, it would be you.” After everything that had happened, Juliet was surprised Avery still cared for her.
“I’m not changing my mind,” Juliet insisted.
“Do you remember when your mom passed?”
She wasn’t sure why he would bring this up. “I’ll never forget. She got sick soon after my father died.”
“Yes, she was very sick,” Avery agreed. “But it wasn’t her body that got sick. It was her mind. She was very depressed.”
“Most days, she couldn’t even get out of bed,” Juliet recalled.
“She became fixated on getting out, on escaping her prison,” Avery continued. “She knew about the shipments and pleaded with me to let her into the pressure lock. I knew it was certain death, but she threatened to kill herself if I didn’t, and I began to think maybe there was a chance she could get out alive.” For the first time ever, Juliet saw Avery’s calm composure start to crack. He looked Juliet straight in the eyes, tears rolling down his face. “I would rather keep you here, even if you continue to not talk to me, and all of us deal with the end together than to know you succumbed to the same horrific fate as your mother.”
Juliet didn’t know what to say. She grasped Avery’s hand, unable to look at his sad face any longer. It would be too easy to stay. If she asked Avery the exact circumstances of her mother’s death, she knew she would lose her nerve. She and Derrick had thought through all the details. They would survive.
“I would rather meet a horrific end than die knowing I never even tried to get out,” Juliet said. She looked back at Avery’s face.
He smiled warmly at her. “You’re much braver than me.”
“My plan’s going to work,” Juliet insisted.
“I hope it does.” She got up to go, but first approached Avery who also stood and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her forehead, then lifted her chin and gave her a brief kiss on her lips. “Good luck,” he said before returning to his seat. Juliet walked away toward the cafeteria to get something to eat.
Between the end of CEd and their dinner with the Kaufman family, Juliet and Cass had time to change out of their work clothes in their dorm. Juliet wore the gray sweater she had practically stolen from Cass, which looked better without her lumpy uniform shirt under it. She liked how the V-neck helped show off her face and thought it would be a good pick to wear tonight as well.
When they arrived, they were welcomed by the warm smells of Linda’s cooking. Scott greeted the two young women at the door and ushered them in.
“What are you doing here?” Alex asked her sister.
“Nice to see you too,” Cass snapped back.
“I just wanted to have a nice evening with my favorite family,” Juliet said with a sincere smile.
“Suck up,” Scott said.
“Is it working?” Juliet asked.
“Yes,” Scott said, pulling her in a headlock and mussing her ponytail.
“God dad, leave my friend alone,” Cass said, rolling her eyes in unison with Alex.
They all sat down at the kitchen table, which was extended to accommodate the two extra people. Linda made a stew with all kinds of vegetables and spices paired with cornbread and finished off with sugared fresh fruit, all of which Juliet thought tasted excellent. Alex complained about the overall healthiness of the meal, which Juliet and Cass gladly pointed out was much better tasting than anything she could eat at the cafeteria.
Before she left, Linda pulled Juliet aside. “How is everything going, honey?”
“Better,” Juliet admitted.
“If you need anything, and I mean anything, even if it’s just someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks Linda.”
“Okay, I’ll stop doing the mom thing now. Give me a hug before you leave.” Juliet complied and gave Linda a tight squeeze before she left.
By the time they left Linda and Scott’s bunk, it was already late. Cass still wanted to meet some people at the center, but Juliet headed to their dorm to get some sleep. She collected a few extra layers of clothing from the closet and folded them on top of her desk, ready to go. Last minute, she decided to take a shower and freshen up. Once clean, she put back on the gray sweater and some fresh scrub pants and climbed into bed. Juliet didn’t think she would be able to get any sleep as she stared at the ceiling above her bed. She must have slept because she didn’t remember Cass coming back in and her micro tab was beeping to let her know it was time to go.
Juliet jumped out of bed and turned off the alarm. She decided to leave her micro tab behind. Once she had her blanket off the bed and folded up, she stacked her extra clothes on top and grabbed the bundle before slipping out the door.
Instead of Derrick standing outside of her door waiting for her, she was confronted with an officer from command. “Miss Morse,” he said. “Where do you think you’re going?”
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Juliet figured she had two options. She could either go willingly with the officer, Officer Monroe, or she could try to run. But where would she run? There was nowhere to hide.
“Miss Morse,” he repeated, “you need to come with me.” He grabbed her arm and started leading her down the hall.
“Where are we going?” Juliet asked, her voice high with anxiety. She didn’t have time to go with Officer Monroe. She needed to get to the pipe with Derrick so they could hide in the shipment boxes and get out of Refuge.
“Insomnia is very serious,” he said. “I’m taking you to the medical wing and we’ll get you something to help you sleep.”
“Oh, I don’t have insomnia,” she said quickly. “I was just confused. I thought it was morning already, but it’s not. I’ll just return to my dorm and go back to sleep.” When she tried to pull away from Monroe, his grip on her arm tightened painfully.
“You’re coming with me, Miss Morse. I would hate to have you detained for resisting an officer.” She couldn’t get away and stumbled along with Monroe’s fast past to the medical wing.
They went straight inside, passing the empty nurses station. Dr. Howe was standing there in his white lab coat waiting for her.
“Put her to sleep,” Monroe said. Before she could react, Dr. Howe pulled out his hand from behind his back and injected something into her arm. Her legs felt weak, and she sank to the floor. Unable to remain awake, she closed her eyes and succumbed to sleep.
When she woke up, her wrist was handcuffed to the arm of the medical gurney. Her head was throbbing. The bright lights throughout the medical wing meant it was now daytime. She had missed it; she had missed her chance to get out. She needed to go.
Pulling at her handcuffs, they made a loud clanking sound as they scraped against the metal arm of her bed. The noise got the attention of the nurses and Linda came over.
“How’re you feeling honey?” she asked.
“I need to go,” Juliet said, frantically pulling at her restrained hand. “I missed it. I was going to get out. I need to get out.”
“Juliet, sweetheart,” Linda said, smoothing down Juliet’s hair with her hand. “You’re here on a psych hold. Dr. Howe was worried about how you were acting last night, so he ordered a three-day observation to give you a chance to feel better.”
“I’m not crazy!” Juliet yelped. “I don’t need to be here. I’m fine. I’m fine.” She looked around. No one else was in the main area of the medical wing. Normally, curtains could be drawn to create private areas for each patient, but Juliet’s curtains were pulled back. She was on full display for anyone passing by. “I need to go.” There was no one else around who could offer help. “I need to go.”
“Calm down,” Linda said, stroking Juliet’s hair again. “Honey, if you don’t calm down, Dr. Howe will need to give you another sedative.”
Although Juliet didn’t want to calm down, she knew that she definitely wouldn’t be able to escape if she was sedated.
“There, there,” Linda said. “Everything’s going to be okay.” Linda pulled a small syringe from her pocket and injected the contents into Juliet’s IV before walking away.
“No it’s not,” Juliet whispered. But she stayed still and stopped fighting against her restraint.
Her mind was reeling, trying to figure out what she should do to get out of the medical wing and attempt her escape from Refuge again. Even though she couldn’t calm her mind down, she still drifted off to sleep.
Juliet woke up in a dorm room. The room was almost empty with only one desk, one bed, and one wardrobe. Where the other bed should have been was a toilet and a sink. She had never been in this room before.
Her handcuffs were gone, so she got up off the bed and looked around. The door was locked and wouldn’t open. Inside the wardrobe, she found a few sets of scrubs and some folded linens. Juliet was still wearing a hospital gown, so she changed into a pair of scrubs. The mattress in the room was bare. She put the sheets from the wardrobe on the bed. Once she had it nicely made, she sat down. There was nothing else to do. Her micro tab wasn’t on the desk. There weren’t any books or anything in here to entertain her.
A few shrill beeps came from just outside the door before it opened revealing Captain Clark. He stepped in and closed the door behind him.
Juliet stood up quickly. “Where am I?” she asked.
“You’re in a detention cell,” Clark answered. He pointed to a camera in the corner of the room at the ceiling. “No funny business in here. We’re watching.”
“Why?” Juliet asked, her eyes wide. She had heard a few dorms were converted to detention cells, but they were reserved for people who were so disruptive, they couldn’t exist with the regular population.
“Why do you think you’re here?” Clark asked.
“I left my dorm after curfew?”
Clark chuckled. “No, breaking curfew doesn’t warrant a psych hold or detention.”
“Is this because,” Juliet paused, trying to make her mouth form the words, “because I was heading to the pipe?” She didn’t want to admit she was planning to escape.
“You know, I read the letter from your friend, Lauren Young. I’m guessing that you somehow got a hold of it.”
“So what if I did?” she spat back.
Clark chuckled again. Juliet didn’t know why he found this all so amusing. “It was brought to my attention that you were going to try to leave Refuge.”
Juliet tried hard to swallow. Her throat and mouth suddenly felt dry.
Clark continued when she didn’t say anything. “Since you apparently got a hold of your friend’s letter, I knew you might plan to do something… drastic.”
“Of course I was,” she shouted. “There’s only a couple weeks before the shipments to Refuge stop. I’m not going to stay here and wait for the food to run out and starve to death.”
“Oh, we have enough food,” he said. “We’ll run out of oxygen first, so you would die of hypoxia.”
She couldn’t hide the horror on her face. “Don’t worry,” Clark continued. “There’s an effective sleeping gas which can be distributed through the ventilation system. When we get close to the end, I’ll use it. Everyone will fall asleep and pass away peacefully instead of gasping for breath.”
“But I can get out,” Juliet said.
“By hiding in a shipment box?” he asked. “No. It’s been tried before, and she didn’t make it. The navy had to decommission the box she used, and we were short on supplies while they constructed a new one. No, I’m not letting you interrupt the few shipments we have left.”
“Was that my mom?” she asked in a small voice.
“It doesn’t matter,” Clark said. “No one has made it out of Refuge alive. I’m not trying to be the bad guy, but it simply can’t be done. I wish I could help you, but I have to consider the wellbeing of everyone in Refuge.” He turned and walked to the door. A few shrill beeps came again from outside and the door opened. Clark stepped out and closed the door behind him.
Juliet couldn’t be sure how much time had passed. The lights in her cell remained the same level, not dimming and brightening like the other lights around Refuge to signal the change from day to night.
Food was periodically passed under her door, but not regularly enough for her to use meal deliveries to determine the passage of each day. The food tray always contained just a protein porridge. No fruit or vegetables from the conservatory and no eggs or meat from the coop.
With her fingernail, she was able to scrape away at the green paint where it was perpetually moist behind the toilet. She tried to mark the days she had been here, counting two meals and a long sleep as a day. It wasn’t exact but it was something. By her estimation, she had been there about a week. If she spent the full three days of her psych hold sedated in the medical wing like she suspected, that only left a few more days before there’d be no more shipments. Soon, she wouldn’t have a chance to get out at all.
All she could do was hope for something to happen: something drastic like a miracle.
She sat on her bed trying to calculate integrals in her head. It was the only thing she could think of doing that would pass the time and didn’t make her feel like she was going to go crazy.
A red light next to the camera started flashing. After a while, it was accompanied by a shrill ringing. Juliet could barely hear the recorded voice coming from a distance, “Warning. Warning. Everyone please proceed to the closest safety destination. Warning. Warning.”
The alarm. She needed to get out of her cell and to a safety destination. She didn’t even think about the fact that staying safe from any potential disaster would only prolong her life by a few days. What mattered was that she had the will to live, and she wasn’t ready to die right now in a fire.
She ran to the door and banged on it. “Open up,” she shouted. “Open the door. Let me out! I need to go to a safe destination. Let me out!”
Footsteps echoed outside her door, running down the hall. “Stay here and guard her,” someone said.
“Yes sir,” came another voice. From the occasional static and garbled voices of the radio, she could tell an officer continued standing guard outside her door. Perhaps if someone had to stay there, this was just a drill.
But if this were just a drill, it would be over by now. Juliet resumed pounding on her door. “Let me out,” she pleaded.
She could hear a staticky voice come through the radio. “Confirmed fire has spread. It’s reached the Captain’s office and is moving toward the boutiques. Over.”
There was a fire. She yelled again through the door, pleading for her release. “There’s a fire!” she yelled. “It’s coming this way. Don’t you want to live? Do you want to be responsible for my death? Please, let me out.” She crumpled into a ball at the door. She wanted to cry hysterically for her life, but instead tried to save her energy for any chance to get out. They couldn’t let her die in here. Eventually, they would have to let her out.
