Werewolf Knight 4, page 17
“Oh, thank God,” I said and sighed in relief. “You two had me going. Did something happen with the alarm system then?”
“No,” she answered. “But I think we’re being watched.”
“Watched?” Tabitha asked, and the blonde noblewoman covered her mouth with her hands in shock. “What do you mean? By who?”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said as I tried to get control of the hysteria around me. “Let’s sit at the dining table. We need to calm down and make some sense out of whatever is happening after you tell me literally everything.”
The girls nodded, and we all headed into the dining room. I pulled out a chair at the head of the table, but before I could sit down, Tabitha plopped into the seat and smiled at me.
“Thank you,” she said sweetly, and she batted her eyelashes. “You’re becoming such a gentleman, Hank…”
“Okay,” I laughed, and I pulled out the seat next to her and sat down.
Sybil and Imelda sat opposite me and set their hands on the table like they were about to offer me some kind of business deal. It looked like a sexy version of The Godfather, though the women looked more terrified at the moment than terrifying.
“So here’s the situation,” Imelda said in her light, ethereal voice. “We were foraging for the first flowers of the coming spring.”
“Of course you were,” Tabitha smirked.
“The changing of seasons is a pivotal time for alchemy,” Sybil added as she shot the noblewoman a stern look. “But I heard a rustling in the distance. At first, I thought it was a deer, and we decided to follow it a little.”
“I’m guessing it wasn’t a deer,” Tabitha said.
“What was it?” I asked. “Did you see?”
“It was far away,” Sybil said. “But it looked like a man. He was holding something up to his eyes, like a pair of glasses that was made out of tubes.”
“Binoculars,” I said.
“What?” Imelda and Sybil asked in unison.
“They’re a tool,” I said. “It helps you see long distances. People use them to spot birds, watch operas, and occasionally to spy on others.”
“We used to have spies in the castle sometimes, sent by some foreign regime or other,” Tabitha added with an eyebrow waggle. “They usually worked undercover, though, not from a distance. It’s very hard to gather information when you can’t hear what’s being said.”
“Unless they have a… bug,” Sybil pointed out and then looked at me to make sure she’d used the right word.
“Right,” I said. “A bug.”
“What happened when you caught the spies in the castle?” Imelda asked with a zealous grin.
“Put to death,” the noblewoman replied and shrugged. “Usually hot oil or something equally painful.”
“Maybe we could do that,” Imelda said.
“First,” I said, “Aren’t priestesses supposed to be all about peace and love? And second, that would be murder here in New Jersey.”
“Maybe we could take him back to Lupercalia,” Tabitha mused.
“Girls,” Sybil said, and she slammed her fists on the table. “Be serious. The person might be out there right now.”
“Okay, okay,” I said and raised my hands. “But there’s another possibility besides a stalker in the woods. Our forest is private property. Technically, nobody should be in there, but at the same time, it’s connected to a larger nature preserve. I know for a fact when we bought the house that there weren’t any fences installed in order to protect the local ecosystem. So there’s always a chance that some poor hiker or dog walker who was looking for his lost dog, and you two got spooked, and…”
“That’s not the end of the story,” Imelda said, and she started to glow as she took a deep breath. “The very next night we were inside the house eating hamburgers from Uber Eats.”
“I want a hamburger,” Tabitha muttered, and I shot her a look.
“We were up on your balcony, Hank, with our legs hanging out,” Imelda continued. “We thought it would be fun. But then a figure emerged from the woods.”
Okay. I sure as hell did not like the sound of wherever this was going.
“Shit,” I sighed. “What kind of figure?”
“He only came up to the edge of the trees,” Sybil added. “And he held the binoculars up to his eyes and looked at us. We could see the shadowy figure, and we think he didn’t know that we could see him. But then we waved at him, and the man disappeared.”
“Pervert,” Tabitha said, and Sybil raised her eyebrows at her.
“What movie did you learn that word from?” the witch asked.
“I don’t remember,” Tabitha admitted. “But I feel like it fits.”
“I agree,” I said. “It is perverted. But I have a feeling that he wasn’t only spying on the house to get a look at you ladies.”
“What do you mean?” Sybil asked.
I took a deep breath and nodded. Even though I had no evidence, my instincts had gotten me this far, and I felt like they were good enough to carry me a little further.
“Right, bear with me here,” I sighed. “But as you know, Barney Converse from Joe TownJoe Town coffee seems to love his illegal moves.”
“Sure does,” Sybil nodded. “That… that pervert.”
“Okay, let’s stop saying pervert now,” Imelda added in a more priestess-like voice. “If we’re being watched, this is a serious issue.”
“Exactly,” I murmured. “I mean, we tend to literally appear out of nowhere when we travel with the moon ring. That would definitely freak out a potential stalker.”
“I mean, you have a pretty weird public reputation anyway,” Sybil added. “People think that you think you’re a werewolf. And you are a werewolf. But they don’t know that, because…”
“Because werewolves don’t exist here,” I said, and suddenly I was struck with an idea. “Just a moment ladies, I need to make a call. Wait. Do you guys have my phone?”
Sybil and Imelda exchanged a quick look before Imelda rifled through her sweatshirt pocket and delicately placed the smartphone on the table without passing it over.
I looked between Sybil and Imelda, and Sybil grinned kind of nervously.
“Is something wrong?” I asked as I looked down at the phone.
“Of course not,” Imelda said, even though she glowed with mischief.
“I just, uh, want to remind you of something, Hank,” Sybil said with a big smile.
“And that would be?” I asked.
I had no idea what these crazy chicks could possibly have gotten into while we were gone, but if they’d discovered other delivery apps, the possibilities were endless. I wondered what my bank balance would be, but then I reminded myself that the girls were the reason I worked so hard to maintain that balance, and I wanted them to have fun with it when we were in New Jersey.
“Okay,” I said when no one spoke. “Just tell me what you did.”
“Well,” Sybil continued. “Just remember that you love us. Like, really really love us. And that we’re all in this together, and that most importantly, we’re a team, and--”
“How much money did you spend on Uber Eats?” Tabitha snickered, and she leaned back and crossed her arms.
“Come on ladies,” I said as I looked between the witch and the priestess. “Cough it up. I’m going to see the amount on my bank statement anyway.”
“Two thousand, four hundred and thirty-three dollars,” Imelda said without looking up from the table.
“Imelda,” Sybil said, and her eyes glowed green with magical energy.
“No, no,” I laughed. “I’m glad that at least one of you has a guilty conscience. Anyway, money is the least of my problems right now. I have more of it than I know what to do with. What I need to get to the bottom of is whether JoeTown is trying to track my movements.”
Imelda shrugged at Sybil and slid the phone across the table like we were engaging in some kind of skeevy business deal.
I took the phone and went over to the big glass screen wall that looked out onto the garden. After calling Ava’s number, I pressed the door button so that the big piece of glass opened up, and I walked into the garden.
The phone rang three times while I took a deep sniff of the air. With my super wolf senses, it was clear how different things smelled in Jersey than in Lupercalia. The quality of the soil and the way the sun beat on the concrete around our pool was just… different.
“Hello, Hank?” a familiar voice asked, and I realized just how relieved I was to hear her voice, even though she was my annoying older sister.
“Ava,” I said. “Thank God.”
“Well, good to know you appreciate me,” she said. “But if you want to catch up about non-business stuff you can always call me, you know. You spend so much time in your weird little hippie community in the Pine Barrens that…”
“This is serious,” I said for what felt like the fiftieth time that day. “I think that Barney Converse is up to some shenanigans. That guy is a sneaky bastard.”
“But we told him we weren’t interested in his offer,” Ava replied. “What else is there to do or say?”
“I have a few ideas about what he might be up to,” I said. “Has there been anything strange on your end? Anything… out of the blue?”
Ava took a few deep breaths and scolded her dog for eating some of the plastic wrap from the new couch she’d just had delivered before she returned to our conversation.
“Sorry,” she said. “Goldie likes plastic. But about what you were saying… well, there were lots of door-to-door salesmen in the last few days. I wasn’t sure if it was really odd, though. I mean, there’s a lot of nice houses around here, so it’s the kind of place where people would buy stuff...”
“From a door-to-door salesman?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she sighed. “Okay, I’ll admit, it does sound weird when I say it out loud.”
“So what were these guys selling?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I didn’t pay that much attention. One guy had kitchen knives, I think, and the other guy had… um...”
“Right,” I said. “Let me guess. They asked you a lot of questions.”
“They did,” she said. “I mean, it just seemed like part of the pitch at the time, but now… I’m not so sure.”
“What kind of stuff were they asking?” I pressed.
“About where I worked and that kind of thing,” she replied. “When I’d moved in, where I was from. It was pretty exhaustive, actually.”
“And what did you tell them?” I asked. “Nothing too personal, right?”
“I obviously lied my ass off,” she said. “You think I’m telling some stranger about my life? There must be about ten guys out there now who think I’m Cindy from Indiana.”
“I love that,” I nodded. “But I think they must work for Joe Town. The girls said that they saw someone spying in the backyard.”
“What the fuck?” Ava asked. “But you guys are surrounded by a forest. You sure it wasn’t just some dumbass on a hike?”
“He came into the pool area,” I said. “They saw him with binoculars.”
“What a pervert,” she huffed.
“Yes, but perverts aside, I’m going to get to the bottom of this,” I said.
“Need any help?” she asked. “If any door-to-door salesmen come, I could always scare them in some way. Do something that they never would have dreamed… like inviting them inside and handcuffing them to the kitchen sink.”
“Absolutely not,” I said. “Let me handle this. I’ll let you know if I’m right.”
“I believe in you, little bro,” she chuckled. “And don’t worry, if anyone asks…”
“You’re Mandy from Indiana,” I replied.
“Cindy,” she corrected me. “Smell ya later.”
I hung up the phone and turned around, where all three girls were standing in the kitchen and looking at me expectantly.
“What’s going on?” Sybil asked. “Is she also being spied on?”
“I think so,” I replied. “Just in a different way. She’s had a lot of door-to-door salesmen show up since she moved in.”
“That’s horrifying,” Sybil responded, and the witch shook her head. “I couldn’t think of anything worse.”
“But it does mean one thing,” Tabitha added with a grin. “Now we get to scheme on how to catch that little shit who’s been hiding in our forest.”
“Oh, I do love to scheme,” Sybil said, and she batted her eyelashes. “What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know yet,” I said. “Give me a second. I’m sure I’ll think of something, I just need to turn off my werewolf brain and activate Hank-the-local- hero brain.”
“That’s so handsome,” Imelda said in her light, dreamy voice, and I couldn’t help but snicker.
“What about a trap?” Tabitha suggested.
“What kind of trap?” Sybil responded, and she wrinkled her nose in thought. “Like a bear trap? That will show them…”
“Guys, I’m not setting a bear trap for someone,” I said. “I’m a public figure with a high profile in this world. If I actually hurt someone, there will be a court case and a lot of bad publicity, especially if people think we set the trap deliberately to catch a human. And then there will be the eco-freaks who will hate us just because we have a bear trap.”
“The eco-freaks do like their coffee,” Tabitha sighed.
“We’d be hurting if we lost their business,” I said.
“True,” Sybil sighed. “And we don’t want the police to show up and ask a lot of questions. What if they tried to deport the three of us?”
“Why would they do that?” Imelda asked.
“It’s… complicated,” I said. “And I’m not sure they would, since you’re all from the Pine Barrens, supposedly. But, yeah, we don’t want the cops out here.”
“We need to send a message that’s covert,” Tabitha said. “But firm. Something that doesn’t bring the authorities in. I’m sure I can think of something. I come from an old family, where nothing is ever settled in public.”
“One time we had pig poachers on our farm,” Sybil added. “It was terrible. They would stake out the property, and we’d hear the squealing at about three in the morning. But we didn’t catch them until Charles put a blue blood shifter on the property to scare them away.”
“What, he didn’t even attack them?” I asked. “He just scared them?”
“Yeah,” she shrugged. “What would you do if you’re only a human and a giant hybrid wolf comes at you? Hubris isn’t going to get you very far with a nine-foot wolf. They knew that we had the law on our side, and that we’d get them if they weren’t careful.”
“Yes, but that’s Lupercalia,” Tabitha added. “This is New Jersey. We need to set some kind of… New Jerseyan trap for him.”
“I could scare him off,” Imelda offered, and the blonde bared her teeth and hissed. In her sweatshirt and jeans she looked more like a teenage goth who was dressed for halloween than an actual ex-vampire.
“Imelda, I love you,” Tabitha sighed. “And you’re beautiful. But I don’t think you’re going to scare him away with your teeth.”
“No, but maybe I could,” I said with a wolfish grin.
“You mean…” Sybil began and then hesitated as she looked at the other women. “Change into your wolf form here? In New Jersey?”
“I mean, it would be fucking terrifying, wouldn’t it?” I said as I imagined chasing the interloper through the fields. “It would scare the absolute crap out of anyone to see that kind of creature in the woods, I mean, you get the occasional bear around here, but nothing like a nine-foot wolf.”
“He’s right,” Tabitha shrugged as she looked at the other girls. “He’s completely right. If I wasn’t a Lupercalian and I saw a giant wolf, I’d say my prayers.”
“Oh, this is very exciting,” Imelda giggled. “This is… Hank, you’re going to scare him to death!”
“Not to death,” I corrected. “That would be too much. But just enough that he runs back to Barney Converse and tells him he won’t do the job anymore. And then I’ll find Barney and ask him what the fuck he thinks he’s doing sending someone out to my private property.”
“Defiant,” Tabitha said and nodded in approval. “I like it. So when do we want to do this?”
“No time like the present,” I added. “I’ll go into the woods in my human form, and when I’m sure I’m alone, I’ll change into my wolf form. Once I have his scent, I’ll scare the shit out of the fucker.”
“Fucker,” Imelda added with a nod.
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Sybil replied.
It was time to track our stalker and show him just why nobody fucked with Sir Henry Baker of New Jersey.
Chapter 11
“Okay,” Tabitha said as she trundled up the stairs. “As much as I would love to watch this, I really need a nap. My stomach can’t decide if it wants to eat or throw up again.”
“That’s fine,” I said. “We can eat when I get back.”
We watched Tabitha disappear up the stairs, and then we turned to the door I’d left open. The three of us watched the woods for a moment, but nothing moved other than the usual squirrels and birds.
“What if he really is some guy who just got lost while walking his dog?” Sybil asked.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “A dog walker probably wouldn’t have binoculars. And if he was a bird watcher, he wouldn’t be watching the house, he’d be watching the trees.”
“And he probably would have waved back,” Imelda said.
“Okay,” Sybil said and took a deep breath. “You’re probably right.”
“He is the chosen of the Moon Goddess,” Imelda said. “I’m sure she guides his hand in all such moments. I trust your instincts on this, Hank.”
“Uh, thanks,” I replied.
“And we haven’t even told you about the notebook,” Sybil said. “I’m not sure how everything turned so upside down while you were gone.”
“What happened with the notebook?” I asked, and the two girls shook their heads.
“It’s not the time for that now, Hank,” Imelda said as she set her hand on my left arm. “We can discuss that after you catch that fucker in the backyard.”
