Werewolf Knight 4, page 2
“Oh, my goodness,” she giggled when she stopped long enough to wrap her arms around me. “This is a day full of blessings!”
“I guess that means you like the idea,” I said. “Umm, but I don’t want you to worry. Just because we get married doesn’t mean you have to leave or anything. I know you’ve only been with us a week, but I feel like there’s a connection there. And the peasants on the estate love having you there. I think they’d riot if you left.”
“You don’t need to explain,” Imelda laughed. “I understand. But I love a wedding too much to just sit in the audience and watch my saviors be wed without any involvement. Now, Sir Henry Baker, I have a question for you.”
“Oh, yeah?” I asked suspiciously.
Imelda shot a look behind her to see if either of the girls were listening, and then she bent down on one knee. She giggled again and then tried to force her face into a more demure expression, which she failed at miserably.
“Sir Henry Baker,” she said, and she grabbed both of my hands.
“Call me Hank,” I corrected.
“Hank,” she said and batted her bright blonde eyelashes. “Will you make me the most happy priestess alive and grant me the supreme honor of allowing me to officiate your wedding?”
“Oh, Imelda, High Priestess of the Obsidian Temple,” I said as I held a hand to my forehead. “I would like nothing more. Yes, yes, a billion times yes.”
“Well, that was easy,” she laughed as she stood up.
We grinned at each other in conspiratorial delight, and then I took her glowing face in my hands and kissed her soft lips. I could feel her vampire teeth poke gently against my lips, but the priestess was careful not to draw blood.
“See?” Imelda asked as she pulled away. “We just rehearsed it. Look at how well that went!”
“You’re right,” I replied and then glanced in the direction of the kitchen. “Now they just have to say yes.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure they will,” Imelda said with a shrug. “I’d be surprised if they didn’t fall over themselves trying to be the first one to say yes.”
“That should be fun to watch,” I laughed. “You know, I can’t think of a better person to perform the ceremony. The Moon Goddess made all of this possible, both my life as a knight in Lupercalia and as a business mogul here. And the Goddess gave me the power to save you.”
“The Moon Goddess is truly magical,” Imelda said. “But she chooses those whom she blesses with great care, and it is a supreme privilege to spend my days with someone who has been so blessed by the Goddess herself.”
“Thanks, Imelda,” I said, and I could feel my heart swell with gratitude.
“So,” she said, and looked around. “Where are you planning to make your proposal? Perhaps on a grassy knoll in the hills of the Eastern country? Or maybe in the garden of your estate, where the butterflies flutter and the birds will be singing?”
“Huh,” I muttered and looked around. “You know, I can’t think of a better time or place than right now.”
Hell, I was on an adrenaline high. We’d decided to say good fucking bye to Joe TownJoe Town for good, and I was going to be a father. Why not just complete the checklist?
“It doesn’t seem very romantic,” Imelda said and then grinned. “But it feels right. Everything about you is unconventional, so why should a marriage proposal be any different?”
We sauntered back into the kitchen, where Tabitha was chasing Sybil around with a can of Easy Cheese.
“I’m not eating that,” the dark-haired witch said as she ducked around the counters and tried to hold Tabitha off. “I don’t think any of the ingredients are from this Earth.”
“I’m not asking you to eat it,” Tabitha practically cackled. “I just want to paint you with it.”
“Tabitha,” I chided.
My pregnant companion turned toward me and shot me an angelic smile.
“Hank,” she said in her low, breathy voice as she traipsed over. “Sybil was trying to chase me around in the kitchen. Can you believe that? A witch chasing around a pregnant woman?”
“If your hormones are going to turn you back into a naughty adolescent, then I have a long eight months ahead of me,” Sybil groaned as Tabitha stuck out her tongue at her.
“You know, I wasn’t actually going to spray you with cheese,” Tabitha said, and she looked down at the can in her hands. “Or… whatever this is.”
“When we get back to Lupercalia, I have to make Tabitha an assortment of herbs,” Sybil said, and she wrapped her arm around the blonde noblewoman. “I know just the thing that’s going to keep you healthy throughout this whole pregnancy… and maybe help reduce some of these stranger urges.”
“You just want to sedate me, darling,” Tabitha murmured. “Because you know that you couldn’t beat me in a fight, even if I am pregnant.”
Sybil rolled her eyes as Tabitha laughed to herself.
“So, ah…” I mumbled and then looked at Imelda for help.
“Hank has something important to ask you,” the priestess said.
“I thought so,” Tabitha said as she turned her gaze on me and Imelda. “I know scheming when I see it, and I sense that you’ve been scheming. What’s going on?”
I took a deep breath, glanced at Imelda again, and then knelt down on one knee.
“Sybil and Tabitha” I said, and I took both of their right hands in mine
“Or Tabitha and Sybil,” Tabitha said with a sly shrug, and Sybil shot a glare at her.
“My darling women,” I said with a low laugh. “I’m not much of a poet, but I know how I feel about you two, and I think I know you both well enough to say that you feel the same way about me.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Tabitha interjected, and Sybil elbowed her.
“Shut up, Tabby-cat,” she whispered. “This is not the time for jokes.”
“As I was saying,” I continued. “Actually... I don’t know how else to say this, so what the hell, will you marry me?”
Tabitha and Sybil looked at each other, and their eyes glowed with excitement.
For a second, neither of them could speak, and they kept shooting looks at each other and back down at me.
“Sybil, say something,” Tabitha practically choked with excitement.
“Yes!” Sybil laughed, and she squeezed my hand and started to bounce up and down. “Yes, yes, we will!”
Well, looks like I’d completed my checklist for the day. I was an entrepreneur, soon to be father, and now a fiance to two beautiful women.
And it was barely noon.
Chapter 2
Tabitha and Sybil each took an arm and helped pull me back to my feet. Then they wrapped themselves around me and kissed me on both of my cheeks before continuing to hop around and squeal.
“We’re getting married,” Tabitha said in the most dreamy voice I’d ever heard come out of her mouth. She was staring into some indistinct point in the distance and sighed.
“That’s right,” Imelda giggled. “And guess who is officiating?”
Both of the girls stopped dancing around and looked at Imelda before beginning to squeal again.
“Eeee!” Sybil cried. “This is the best day of my life! I’m getting married! And it’s going to be the best wedding that Lupercalia has ever seen!”
“Hey Sybil,” Tabitha said with a smirk. “You know you sound like a pig when you do that. Will you be inviting your family’s entire pen to the wedding, or…?”
“Oh, shut up you old dog,” Sybil said as she took Tabitha’s hands and swirled her around.
I started to laugh, and for a second, I caught a glimpse of my future life with all these women around me. If things were just as fun then as they were now, then I’d be one happy man.
“Hank, I can’t believe this,” Tabitha said, and she looked up at me with her big, brown eyes. “You know, my family never thought I’d ever marry. They thought that none of the men in the Lupercalian court would want someone as outspoken as me.”
“But then Hank came and took pity on you,” Sybil sang and winked at the noblewoman.
“Yeah,” Tabitha said, and she lifted an eyebrow. “Anyway, this will truly be the event of the season. A wedding to Sir Henry Baker, the knight chosen by the Moon Goddess herself? It’s truly blessed.”
“That it is,” Imelda declared and then quickly wiped away a few tears.
“Hey, hey,” I said and placed my hand on her delicate shoulder. “Are you okay, Imelda?”
“Oh, of course I am,” she said as a last teardrop dribbled down her cheek. “It’s just that… you know, I haven’t performed a wedding since I was a priestess in the Obsidian Temple. I used to wed all the most important knights and their wives. And now, you’ve given me the opportunity to do what I love again.”
She looked up at me, and the combination of her blue eyes and her glassy tears made me feel like I was staring into a lake on a sunny day. Of course, I didn’t want her to cry, but at least they were tears of joy.
“Well, I’m sure you’re the best woman for the job,” I laughed as I rubbed her back. “Plus, you’re going to have to teach me more about some of the Lupercalian customs so I know what to expect on our big day.”
I didn’t know a damn thing about how to plan a wedding, even in New Jersey. I’d been to a couple as a kid, and one as an adult when my buddy Josh married his highschool sweetheart. But I had no real idea of how any of it came about, whether it was the selection of the priest, the vows that had been exchanged, or the food options for the reception. Hell, I’d missed the best man’s speech at the reception because I’d been too busy sampling the donuts on the donut wall.
And now I was going to have a Lupercalian wedding? I had a feeling that there weren’t going to be any donut walls or eighties cover bands, and I would need every bit of help I could get.
“So,” Tabitha said as she suddenly came to a stop and slammed her fist on the counter.
“So what?” Sybil asked. “We have to get planning?”
“Of course we do,” Tabitha said. “Hank, how do you feel about getting your ear pierced?”
It wasn’t a look I’d ever considered for myself, but I wasn’t opposed to it as long as I didn’t have to wear anything heavy and dangling. I’d probably even be okay with a hoop as long as it wasn’t one of those rings that were big enough to squeeze a baseball through.
“Umm… I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “I guess I’d be okay with it. Why do you ask?”
“Because you’re going to have to get one,” Sybil giggled. “Lupercalian men get an ear piercing with a moon silver ring in order to show that they’re married.”
It was news to me, but I racked my mind and started to think of all the Lupercalian men I knew. Old Blueclaw had an earring, and so did Charles. I envisioned the King in my head, and even he had a glimmering silver earring hanging from his bushy ear.
“Huh,” I said with a shrug. “I guess you’re right. But I always thought that those were just like any other jewelry… you know, to show off wealth and power.”
“Us nobles don’t show off our wealth, Hank,” Tabitha said, and she crossed her arms. “That would be crass.”
“Says the girl whose father sounds like a cutlery drawer when he walks around,” Sybil giggled.
“Okay, we do like our moon silver,” Tabitha said. “But no. It’s not just any old piece of jewelry. Usually the men of the family pierce your ear, but I’d guess you’ll have a whole group of Lupercalian noblemen who will be willing to help you out with that part of the ceremony.
“I guess so,” I shrugged. “But sure, I’ll get my ear pierced. Anything to follow the Lupercalian protocol.”
“Oh, wonderful,” Imelda sighed as she fluttered her eyelashes. “And the girls can pick out the rings.”
“I want a floral posie ring,” Sybil said. “It should bear an inscription on the inside. My mother’s ring says, ‘to each new spring with my bud’ in her ring.”
“Oh, oh, I want a flush opal,” Tabitha said. “I don’t usually like pink, but they’re so beautiful… so powerful looking. And I’m a powerful lady. Gosh, I can’t wait to rub my marriage to Henry Baker in all those girls’ faces who mocked me when we were teenagers. That’ll show them.”
“Tabitha, that’s not the best motivation,” Imelda giggled. “But I do understand where you’re coming from.”
“Oh, oh, and we can have the little children of Stock village throwing petals,” Sybil added as she jumped up and down. “Maybe even Charles’ kids can take part. You know, since Stock was the first place you landed in Lupercalia.”
“And it will take place under the full moon!” Imelda announced, and lifted a fist in the air. “Under the brightest night of the Moon Goddess!”
“Yes, yes!” Sybil squawked.
The energy in the room was starting to rise to a fevered pitch, and I was getting a little overwhelmed. The girls’ ideas started to get more and more preposterous, though I’m sure I didn’t hear half of their plans once they started to talk over each other. I could feel a headache coming on, and the only thing I’d done so far was ask the two women to marry me.
Tabitha must have caught the look on my face, because she finally lifted the can of Easy Cheese and whipped cream and crossed them over her head like two swords. She let out a shrill whistle like she was hailing a cab in New York, and the other two women froze for a moment.
“That’s better,” the noblewoman declared. “The next person who speaks out of turn is going to get a mouthful of one of these… or possibly both at the same time.”
“That’s sick,” Sybil murmured. “That’s disgusting.”
“I’m pregnant,” Tabitha said, and she squinted at Sybil. “And my taste buds have been ravaged by the bizarre whims of my unborn child, so from now on, anything I say, goes. Anyway, I think there’s a few things we need to go over that Hank might not know about.”
Imelda and Sybil shrugged and nodded, and I crossed my arms over my chest.
“And what might those be?” I asked. “Because I’m barely versed in New Jersey marriage culture let alone Lupercalian wedding culture.”
“Well, here’s one thing,” Tabitha said. “I’m a very old-fashioned girl, and I come from a very old-fashioned family.”
“Ahh,” Sybil said with a nod as if she understood. “Okay, okay.”
“So,” Tabitha said. “Of course, we accept your proposal, and of course, we’re excited. But you’re going to win the approval for this marriage from Sir Blueclaw and Farmer Foreman.”
“He’s just Mr. Foreman,” Sybil muttered. “We’re pig keepers, not really crop farmers…”
“Okay, sure,” Tabitha said. “Either way, this is serious business. This wedding is unlike any other that I’ve ever heard of in Lupercalian history.”
It sounded kind of daunting when she put it like that, but I was definitely more excited than I was scared.
“She’s right,” Sybil nodded. “You’re getting involved with both a peasant household and a noble household. And there are very different traditions tied to each.”
“Figures,” I sighed. “I can’t seem to do anything by the book.”
“But that’s good,” Imelda encouraged me as she squeezed my hand. “You’re the most innovative knight in the history of Lupercalia!”
“It’s true,” Tabitha added. “Definitely the most impressive in my generation. But this wedding is going to require some work. You’re going to have to put your back into it.”
“Where did you even learn that phrase?” I asked with a laugh.
“YouTube,” Tabitha shrugged. “I found it on the TV when I was bored.”
“Okay, okay,” I said, and I decided not to get distracted again. “So I’m going to have to appease two dads. Good grief.”
“Well, you know for a fact that my old man likes you,” Tabitha shrugged. “But you’re probably going to have to prove something to him. I’m not sure what exactly, but I bet it’ll be difficult. Maybe even deadly. And just maybe, you won’t even make it out alive.”
Sybil reached out and punched her lightly on the arm.
“You loon,” the dark-haired witch said. “Stop trying to scare your future husband with your silly exaggerations. Hank, you’re going to be fine.”
“Hank, did you see that?” Tabitha asked as she tried to stifle a laugh. “Your other future wife just punched me, a pregnant woman. I am literally carrying your unborn child, and this woman is trying to attack me!”
Sybil rolled her eyes and leaned against the counter.
“Look,” she said. “For the nobles, there’s a formal ceremony attached to asking for a girl’s hand. But for my dad, you’re going to have to make an offering from your land.”
“What, like beans?” I asked.
“Uh-huh,” she said with a nod. “And I could even throw some sacred herbs in from my garden, or maybe some of the plants we brought over from New Jersey, so that my parents can grow them, too.”
“Easy,” I said with a shrug. “Unless he hates me, of course.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you,” Sybil giggled. “Even though you did snap up his little girl. And he’s an old-fashioned country man, so he’s probably been wondering what kind of craziness goes on at the estate, especially with all the stories that people tell about you. Just show him that you’re really normal and promise to take care of me, and he’ll be happy.”
“Normal,” I sighed. “When have we ever been normal?”
“You just have to do it long enough to make him happy,” Sybil said. “And I know you’ll always protect me, so that part should be easy.”
“That’s true,” I said. “Well, it looks like I have my work cut out for me.”
Even though this was all new for me, I couldn’t wait to start on my brand-new mission. I had succeeded at every other quest so far, and I knew that I was going to have a ton of fun with this one.
Fighting off monsters was one thing, but wooing the parents of not one but two families? It was the quest of a lifetime. And after all, what family wouldn’t want their daughter marrying the most precocious savior of Lupercalia?
