Lost by the Alpha, page 17
“Really?” Trinity asks me. She lets go of me, gathers her skirts, and heads after Isla, as if it were her responsibility to do so. I see her brother Ben shoot me a look that says he also wants to kill me. Well, he’s going to have to get in line.
I let them go, but in the mind-link, I say, “Isla, it’s not what you think. I had no choice but to dance with her.”
“For someone so powerful, you sure don’t seem to have a lot of choices!” she shoots back, the anger and betrayal evident even in her mind.
I sigh and turn to look for a new dance partner. I need to show that I have control over this situation. Another of the candidates is standing close by, and I ask her to dance. I don’t know who she is, where she’s from, or even what she looks like. Right now, she is a distraction, a way to get the focus back on what the Alphas want to see.
Being a politician sucks. I hate it. I’m not made up for it. I am a warrior, a leader in battle, but trying to control all of these Alphas and get them to do what I need for them to do after they are so used to being under my father and getting to do whatever they want to isn’t something that I am good at. I can admit that now.
I need someone else who is good at that to help me out. Rebecca was a wonderful Luna Queen. She was good at keeping the Alphas happy and in line. But she’s gone, and I don’t have another Luna Queen.
I’ve sworn not to take one….
But now, maybe now is the perfect time to reconsider that.
I let out a sigh, and the girl I’m dancing with, a blonde who isn’t nearly as beautiful as Isla asks, “Is everything all right, my King?” I can tell she’s worried she’s done something wrong.
“Oh, yes. Everything is fine,” I say. “Tell me about yourself.” If she is like most women, she will chatter on about herself, and I can tune out without her even knowing.
My mind goes back to Isla. The frightened little girl who was dumped off here a few months ago was not Luna Queen material. She was a doormat who’d been used and abused her entire life. I saw a spark of something else inside of her, though, and I have encouraged her to embrace those abilities I believe she has.
She might be a princess by bloodline, but she has yet to come into her abilities as such. She isn’t a leader. She isn’t a hostess. She’s… capable, I suppose. But she doesn’t have the experience in this sort of life to be able to handle the demands of being a Luna Queen. Not yet, anyway. Maybe I could have her trained.
Maybe Trinity could be the one to teach her. She seems to have all of those abilities.
“And then… my father said I was coming here!” The woman I am dancing with has been talking for about five minutes straight. I’ve made a noise now and again to make her think I am paying attention, but I don’t even know her name.
And it doesn’t matter. All of this is for show. All of it… except for maybe making Isla into the next Luna Queen.
Maybe I need to consider it after all, especially if the pregnancy is sustainable. But I don’t think I can tell anyone that she is from Maatua, which has a reputation for being cursed, and I don’t want the superstitious Alphas in our kingdom to think that we are cursed now if I choose her as our Luna.
It is all quite complicated.
I will dance with a few more girls and then excuse myself to go check on Isla. By then, hopefully, Trinity will have her calmed down a bit.
Trinity is turning out to be quite the ally, and I am grateful for it.
I am thankful for her.
Her father and uncle might’ve sent her here so that I would marry her; that won’t happen. But she might just end up earning herself some other kind of title, especially if I need her to continue to counsel the true Luna Queen.
Should I choose to take one.
TRINITY KNOWS EVERYTHING
*Isla*
I didn’t know if I should go back to my room or to a garden or maybe straight to my parents’ house, though they hadn’t followed after me. Ben is on my tail, so as I fly down the hallway not really knowing where I’m going, the other thought I had, to the top of the castle and over the side, quickly goes away. Not that I’d do that to my baby, but I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t even entered my mind.
How could Maddox do this to me?
But then… am I really that surprised? He doesn’t seem to understand how I feel about all of this at all. He either doesn’t understand or he doesn’t care or both.
I make it to the end of a hallway and have to stop because I don’t have any idea where I am, and I don’t know where to turn. Ben catches up to me then, which he probably could’ve done before since he’s not wearing a ballgown and his legs are almost the length of my body. He waits for me to turn and look at him and gives me a reassuring look. It’s not quite a smile because he probably thinks I’d rip that right off his face, but his expression doesn’t match my own.
My heart seems to be torn in two, and I don’t even want to think about Maddox at the moment. I just want to leave this all behind.
The idea that I could go out there with Antony, run away, head to Maatua, and see what secrets that island holds, comes to my mind. I push it away almost as quickly as I pushed away the thought of testing out the gravity from the top of the castle. I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be safe for my baby.
“I’m sorry, sis,” Ben says. “In fairness, it just looked like a harmless dance. It’s not like he was… griding on her or anything.”
I narrow my eyes at him, just the thought of such a thing makes me sick.
“Sorry,” he says. “I guess making you laugh is out of the question right now, huh?”
“Just a tad.” I shake my head and gather up my skirts having just figured out where I am and where I meant to go. There is a garden nearby. I could head out there. Whether or not Ben wants to go with me is totally up to him, but I am certain Maddox did not chase behind me. He did send me a mind-link message about having no choice, but obviously, I don’t buy that.
I head back down the hallway a few steps to the closest door and am about to go through it when my eyes fall on another familiar face.
Now, I’m shocked.
Maddox didn’t chase after me…. But Trinity did?
“Isla,” she says, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. My father insisted that Alpha King Maddox and I have a dance, so I wanted to get it over with. I was hoping that you would still be outside, not because I wanted to keep it a secret from you but because I didn’t want you to have to see it. I would’ve told you the truth. Still… I’m sure that was upsetting. I’m very sorry to have been involved in any of this, but if we could talk about the situation, I think I can help you better understand what’s going on.”
I listen to her carefully, and judging by her expression, I think she is sincere.
I think that she truly is sorry to have even been involved in this to begin with.
“Fine,” I find myself saying. “I was just going out to the garden.”
She nods, and I push through the door. Ben holds it for me, and Trinity follows me out into a beautiful evening. Just a slight breeze stirs the trees as we head to a bench over by a fountain. Ben comes, too. He is a shadow now. I doubt he will ever leave my side again until my parents drag him back home.
Trinity takes a deep breath and almost speaks, but then her eyes flicker to Ben, and I see a look of confusion cast over her face.
“Trinity, this is my brother Ben,” I explain to her. “He’s concerned about all of this, as you can imagine.”
“Yes, of course,” she says. “Ben, it’s nice to meet you.” She doesn’t extend a hand, and neither does he. He nods, and then she turns back to me. “Well, the situation is this… my father wanted me to come here under the guise of becoming the next Luna Queen. He wanted me to make Maddox fall in love with me, as did his brother, Alpha Charlton, who is Rebecca’s father.”
“But you didn’t want to do that?” I ask, not sure if I believe her. Who wouldn’t want to be the Luna Queen?
She shakes her head adamantly, quickly. “No, I didn’t want to. I don’t want to follow in Rebecca’s footsteps. Honestly, when my hair is blonde, as it usually is, I don’t look all that much like her. At least, I don’t think I do. Anyway, that’s not all they wanted from me. I’ve already told Alpha King Maddox all of this.”
“What do you mean?” She’s going too fast for me. I can’t keep up with all of the details she’s telling me, mostly because she threw me off when she said she’s usually blonde. Why does she have red hair now? Because her family thought it would be better? So that she could somehow trick everyone into thinking that she would be the best next Luna Queen because she looks like her cousin, the last Luna Queen. Obviously, that’s it. But I thought I heard the word “guise.”
What did she mean by that?
“My father and his brother have never gotten over the fact that Alpha King Maddox was the only one there the night my cousin died.” She lowers her voice to tell me all of this so it’s just a whisper. Ben is forced to come closer, though it’s clear to me he doesn’t want to. “So… they want me to make the king fall in love with me. And then, once we are married, my job would be to kill him.”
She says it in such a matter-of-fact tone, like it’s no big deal, like killing a king is the same as changing one’s uncomfortable shoes.
I have to digest that a bit. She’s admitting to the fact that both her uncle and her father are conspiring against the king. And I’m just supposed to accept this and go on about my day?
“You say that the king knows this?” I ask her. She nods. “And… what is your true purpose in being here, then?”
“Well, obviously, if these two men don’t have a problem committing regicide, they’re probably not going to blink an eye twice at hurting me. I mean, I don’t expect my own father or my uncle to actually kill me, but they will do other things to hurt me if I go against their wishes, and I’m not in any mood to get myself into a bunch of trouble for no reason.” Trinity still has her voice down, but it’s clear that she is serious about what she’s saying.
“All right,” I tell her. “So Maddox is aware of this arrangement, what your father and uncle want you to do?” I clarify.
“That’s right. I told him all about it when he was at my uncle’s house, before the battles began,” she explained to me.
Another ripple of irritation washes through me, one I can’t just deny.
He’s known all along that one of the women who was coming to visit was the doppelganger of his dead wife, and he has chosen to tell me nothing.
Really… how much does Maddox value me? I know that he’s not used to having to answer to anyone or explain himself, but I can’t help the question that comes out of my mouth next. “Did he treat your cousin with so much disrespect?”
Trinity’s eyes widen and her mouth moves without making any noise as she tries to determine how to answer that question. When she finally speaks, it’s to say, “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“I mean… clearly, he doesn’t have a lot of respect for me or my opinion, or else he wouldn’t have kept this information from me, particularly the part about you existing—that I should expect everyone to be shocked at seeing a woman who looks almost exactly like his dead wife show up at this ball.” I can’t help the bitterness that I can hear in my voice.
Before Trinity can respond at all, I hear my brother mutter, “I wanna kill that bastard.”
“He’s your king, Ben. Be careful,” I warn him.
“I don’t know how he treated Rebecca, if I’m honest,” Trinity tells me. “But I’ve never been under the impression that he disrespected her in any way.”
I take a deep breath in through my nose and let it out through my mouth, nodding. I have to figure out how to get Maddox to begin to respect me. Otherwise, he is going to think he can continue to treat me this way. My mother has always said, “We teach people how to treat us.” She’s not wrong. While she has allowed people to treat her like a doormat for the last fifteen, or so, years as she pretended to be something less than a queen, I understand why she did those things.
But I am a princess. I am carrying the next heir to the throne. I might not be the Luna Queen, and maybe I never will be, but I do deserve to be treated with respect.
“I can’t stay here anymore,” I say, standing. “If I do, Maddox is going to think that he can continue to treat me the way that he is now, like my feelings and opinion don’t matter.”
“But if you go,” Trinity says, her hand on my arm as she comes to her feet, too, “then everyone will discount you. They will say that you are no longer a contender to be the next Luna Queen.”
“Well, I guess they’ll find out otherwise when my baby is born,” I tell her.
Trinity’s eyes widen slightly, but then she nods, and I’m not sure if she’s surprised or not. “Yes,” she says. “That should make a difference. If Maddox hasn’t found a way to sabotage all of it by then.”
“Why would he want to do that?” Ben asks for both of us.
“He wouldn’t want to, but in my experience, he has a way of doing that.” She looks at me. “Doesn’t he?”
She isn’t wrong.
GOING HOME
*Isla*
I think I know what I need to do.
It won’t be easy. He won’t let me go, but I need to.
I need to leave the castle.
Everything that Trinity has said solidifies in my mind that Maddox is not considering my needs one bit, and the fact that I am carrying his child doesn’t even seem to mean anything to him.
“I think… I need to go,” I say to Trinity and Ben as we are still sitting in the garden.
“Oh, all right,” Trinity says. “To your room?”
I stand, my legs still slightly wobbly from everything that has been going on. Ben reaches out to steady me, but I recover before I can fall over or even need to grab him.
“No, actually,” I tell her. “I mean, I think I need to go home. Back to my pack. Away from Maddox. And… all of this.”
Trinity stands, too. “Isla, I don’t recommend that,” she says, and her voice is still low but stern. “I think that Maddox is going to end up getting himself into a lot of trouble with the other packs if he doesn’t go through with this, but he’s clever enough to find a way to choose you—if you’re here and part of it.”
I hear her, but I’m not in any mood to entertain whether or not Maddox could have gotten by without having done this in the first place. He’s already done it, after all.
“Thank you for your help, Trinity. You’ve made everything much clearer for me.” I manage a tight smile before I walk past her to the house. Ben follows me.
After about five steps, I pause and turn to face her. Trinity still hasn’t moved, and she looks stunned. “Oh, and please don’t tell him what’s going on. If he isn’t concerned that this is a possibility, he probably doesn’t deserve to be given a head’s up.”
Trinity’s mouth moves up and down, but ultimately, she just nods at me.
I turn around and walk back toward the castle.
“Are you sure about this?” Ben asks me. “What if what she’s saying is true, and this is a matter of self-preservation for him?”
I don’t really have a response for that. It must be nice to be as selfish as you see fit in order to get whatever you want without having to consider anyone else. Never in my life have I been in that situation, and I’m not now. I have to think about my baby.
Would my child be better off raised here in the castle by a discarded mother, by a nanny after I’m kicked out, or as a bastard who isn’t actually even considered as heir? Or would my child be better off being raised by me in my parents’ home, even without his father, knowing that he is loved?
I think I already have the answer.
In my room, I grab a suitcase from the closet as Ben stands back with his arms folded, watching me. Without thinking, I grab items from the closet and toss them in. They’re all outfits that will work back in my home pack, not outfits that are too fancy, though my father is an Alpha now.
The first bag is about full when the bedroom door opens. Since no one knocked, fear pulses through me, but then I look up to see my mother’s concerned eyes and go back to packing.
“Isla, darling, what are you doing?” she asks me.
A couple of more shirts go into the bag, followed by some pants and socks. “I’m packing.”
“Why?” Mom asks me. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Home.” I throw a pair of shoes in on top of the second bag and decide it’s full. I don’t want to take more than three bags. When I came here, I had one disposable bag with next to nothing in it, so why would I need to take so much more back with me?
“You are home, Isla,” Mom says, causing me to pause before I go to the closet to get another bag for my items that are currently located in the bathroom. “This is your home. This is where you belong.”
Turning to face her, I see that she is quite serious. “What are you talking about, Mom? No, it’s not. If it was my home, I wouldn’t be made to feel like I don’t belong here.”
Mom sighs and comes over to me, taking me by the hands. “I understand, darling. I really do. But you can’t leave now. You can’t just run off and take all of this away from your child. He or she is meant to be here. They are the heir to the throne. If you leave now, you’ll never know what could’ve been.”
My eyes open wide as I think through the hypocrisy of her words. Is my mother, who fled our homeland with her children, abandoning a throne that belonged to her, to come to a new land to take a job in a factory, really lecturing me on leaving my life behind to start over when I’m doing so because I think it’s what’s best for my unborn child?
“Mom, I cannot stay here,” I tell her. “Did you see what he’s doing? All of those women—one that looks like his dead wife? How in the world am I supposed to stay here and put up with all of this shit?”
“You show them this is where you belong, and if anyone is going to become the next Luna Queen, it will be you.” My mother’s look is determined. “Listen, Isla, I know I have no room to talk, but you have to understand, we weren’t just fleeing war. The island was falling in on itself. There were earthquakes, fires, and hurricanes. It was terrible. We didn’t think it was safe for you and your sisters to stay there. It wasn’t as if there was a throne left for us to hold on to.”
