Lost by the Alpha, page 11
“I don’t care about their feelings,” I say, pointedly.
This does not make her happy as I have anticipated. “Well, maybe you should. You’re talking about a whole flock of young women leaving their homes, many of them probably for the first time, all of them coming to this beautiful castle, to meet the most handsome, dashing man in all of the land, and for what? When they don’t really have a chance to marry you? Or are you planning on convincing them that they do have a chance?”
I don’t have an answer for any of that. It hasn’t crossed my mind at all, so I just stare at her.
She continues. “And what happens when they all tell their fathers that they realized once they got here that this is all a shame? That you don’t really want to marry any of them, so they are just here for show? They will tell them that, and their fathers will all get mad and gang up together, and guess who they will be attacking the next time. It won’t be Alpha Geofrey.”
She is furious, and I know it will do me no good to try to explain to her that she’s wrong, so I just listen.
I can make the women think that they have a chance even though they don’t.
“Isla, it’s all going to be fine,” I tell her. “You’ll see.”
She shakes her head. “Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. I mean, I guess technically you own me, so if I leave to go live with my parents, what will you do? Accuse me of stealing from you?”
I can’t believe she’s serious right now. “You can’t go anywhere, Isla. Not as long as you’re carrying my baby.”
Her eyes narrow at me, but she doesn’t say anything for a moment. I don’t even blink.
“So you’re going to force me to stay here and watch you flirt with and date other women?”
“No,” I tell her. “I’m not going to do any of that.”
“And we are talking in circles. You’ll have to, or their fathers will attack you,” she says.
“I’ll handle it.” That is the end of the discussion for me.
“I hope you can do a better job of handling it than you did the last time,” she replies. She rubs her eyes and says, “I’m not sure why you drove all the way back here to tell me you’re sorry if nothing is going to change.”
“Because I wanted you to know how important you are to me,” I tell her, meaning it.
“I’m sorry, Maddox, but right now, I don’t feel all that important. But I do feel tired, so if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go to sleep now.”
All I can tell her is, “No.”
MAKE UP SEX?
*Isla*
“No?”
I repeat Maddox’s response to asking him to leave my room, unable to believe that he’s just replied to me in that fashion.
“What do you mean no?” I ask him. He’s just driven four hours to speak to me about the queen contest I’ve found about from my cousin, but when I’ve reached a point of being so unbelievably frustrated I can’t handle it anymore, I need a break from him. I need him to just go.
“I mean, no, I’m not leaving. Not right now. Not when you’re still so angry at me,” he says with a simple shrug.
“Maddox, clearly, there’s nothing that you can say that is going to make me understand what you are thinking and why you are doing this. Why not just let me get some sleep, and we can talk about this more in the morning? Maybe I will be able to comprehend it better then.” I hope that my explanation is getting through to him.
“I have to leave first thing in the morning,” he says, and I feel my heart melt at his words.
He’s leaving so soon? He literally just got here, and he’s turning around and leaving again already?
“Why did you drive all the way here just for a few hours?” I ask him, but exhausted and exasperated.
He shakes his head. “What else was I going to do, Isla? I had to talk to you in person. We weren’t getting anywhere on the phone, obviously.”
I open my mouth and shut it. He’s right, of course. I did hang up on him… twice. Sighing, I drop my head into my hands and run my fingers through my hair, scratching at the top of my head with my nails. I wish I could just go back to before Antony told me about all of this and be in the dark again. It had been easier that way, even if I would’ve found out eventually.
Maddox’s hands are on me. His touch is light at first, but then, I feel his warm breath on my skin before his lips insist I move my hands away from my head so that he can access my neck.
I know what he’s doing, and part of me wants to shout at him to stop. I’m too mad to have sex right now, and he’s treating me like I am just a breeder again, his property to command.
But at the same time, I have no idea when I might see him again. It’s been too long since he left, and how he’s back, and I want to take advantage of his proximity.
He nips at my neck, sucking and licking until I tip my head back with a sigh almost deep enough to be a moan. I can’t push him away, even though I want to. His hands slip up to my breasts as he begins to massage my nipples through the fabric of my thin nightgown. Ripples of excitement wash through me as my mind begins to slip away. Why is he so skilled at making me feel so unbelievable?
Giving in is my only option at this point because my body is betraying me. Even if I opened my mouth to tell him to stop, I don’t think a comprehendible sentence would come out from between my pants and moans.
Maddox reaches down and grabs the hem of my nightgown, lifting it and pulling it off over my head, tossing it aside, and leaving me in my panties with the blankets tangled around my thighs. With more access, his lips sink to my left nipple, and he swirls around my sensitive bud as I feel my lips quivering. Wetness pools between my thighs, and that ache he is so good at setting ablaze within me begins to pulsate within me.
Guiding me back onto the pillow, he continues to suck my nipples to life, one and then the other. His hand pushes the blankets aside as he splits my thighs with his hips. The weight of him on top of me feels soothing in a way that my mind craves and my body needs.
He kisses his way down my stomach to my soaking panties. Through the thin fabric, he kisses my mound and then begins to explore my folds, pressing the lacy silk into me. My fingers tangle in his hair as I press him into my heat. I want him to move that thin barrier out of the way and taste me, but he continues to tease me for several minutes until I am begging him. “Please, Maddox. Please….”
“Please what, baby?” he asks in a teasing voice.
I know what he is doing, and it’s another reason for me to be angry at him. But for now, my body is reacting to his, and I just need him to put his mouth on me. Now.
“Please… take me.” My voice vibrates, and I hear the lust in my voice.
The rumble of his chuckle even makes me lift my hips against him.
He hooks his thumbs through my panties and tosses them on the floor. Still, he is teasing me. His warm breath coats my skin, and again I am bucking against him.
When his tongue touches my flesh, a soothing balm to my heated skin, he is still taking his time, barely flicking against me until I think I’m going to lose my mind. He’s teasing me, doing his best to get me as bothered as possible so that he can be my hero who ends the torture his touch is causing to stream throughout my entire body.
My fingers are still tangled in his hair so I pull him toward me as I continue to lift my hips against him. No matter how hard I press, it seems I can’t ever get him close enough to me.
His tongue plunges deep inside of me, and my head falls backward, a loud whimper escaping my mouth. His control has dissipated completely as he begins to lick and suck me, savagely. My juices coat his face as he laps them up like a drunkard with his favorite vice.
Maddox quickly sends me tipping over the edge as an orgasm rips through my body. I hold onto his hair as I gasp for air, every muscle in my body curling in on itself as I lose my ability to reason.
I haven’t recovered when he pulls his face away from me and yanks his pants down, plunging inside of me so that he’s buried to the hilt. My sensitive clit is on fire with pleasure as he begins to hammer inside of me, over and over again, never letting me come down from the peak of ecstasy.
Maddox wraps his hands around the headboard to gain more leverage as his hips slam into my burning thighs. I am shouting his name, cursing, moaning, sounding like a wild animal myself as I can’t even open my eyes to focus. He always makes me feel unbelievable, but at the moment, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this amazing before in my entire life.
I feel him tightening up, beginning to grunt, and I fully expect to feel his seed spreading inside of me, but he stops, pulling out of me, leaving me surprised and questioning what is happening.
Without a word, Maddox takes hold of my hips and swivels me over onto my knees. He takes a pillow and shoves it beneath my breasts, turning me over, and then, he is inside of me again, his back lying against mine as my body accepts even more of his punishing pleasure.
I can’t breathe, and my clit is on fire, but it feels so good, I can’t ask him to stop. I am plunging over the edge again and again, and when he finally does grab my hips and tug my bottom to him a few times more harshly than before, my body is tingling and glistening with sweat.
Maddox moves aside, and I flip over onto my back, my lungs still fighting to suck in air as I stare up at the ceiling, still seeing stars in my field of vision.
It doesn’t take him as long to recover, but he is still out of breath for a few moments.
Once I can breathe again, I pull the blankets back over myself, turning to look at him.
He seems ready to fall asleep. Has he worn himself out to the point that we are not even going to talk about what he came here to discuss to begin with?
Does he think that having sex has solved all of the issues we were having?
The room suddenly seems silent, and I don’t know what to do or say. He isn’t snoring, but then he doesn’t snore most of the time. His breathing is shallow and even.
Is he asleep?
“Maddox?” It’s a half whisper as I am nervous to actually wake him if he is sleeping.
But how am I just supposed to go to sleep when I’d asked him to leave? Does he really think I’m just fine right now?
“Maddox?” I say it slightly louder this time, still tentative. I don’t want to argue again, but I do want to continue to talk about what we’d been discussing before. I’d told him to leave, but things had suddenly taken a change that needed to be talked about.
“Hmm?” he asks, but he doesn’t open his eyes. He is more or less asleep. He looks so handsome with his skin still damp from sweat and the moonlight streaming in through the part in the curtains, illuminating his face.
“Are we going to talk about this?” I ask him, not sure if I want to wake him up or not.
“No.” He turns over and yanks the covers up over his shoulder. “Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” I echo, but this time he doesn’t respond. It’s so easy for him to just turn his mind off and go to sleep.
But it isn’t for me.
And even though he knows how to make me feel spectacular in bed… and even though I love him more than anything… and even though I am carrying his child… I’m not sure I can stay here.
Even if he promises me that the situation with the other girls means nothing to him.
Because it still means everything to me.
IF YOU WANT IT
*Maddox*
I remember that something is different before I even open my eyes. The long drive, the fight, the amazing sex… I slept well last night because I am back home in my castle, in a comfortable bed, with the woman I love.
But she is angry with me, and I honestly can’t blame her, though I was hopeful that explaining the situation would help her to get past it.
It didn’t, though, and seducing her was probably not the best way to go at the time. I just couldn’t help it. She is so beautiful, and every time I am around her, I struggle to keep my hands off her.
I know the moment I roll over and face her, we will have to move into discussion mode, and I hate that. I don’t want to talk about the queen contest or the other women or how it’s supposed to make her feel. I just want her to trust me when I say that I love her and leave it at that.
But it can’t be helped, so with a deep breath, I roll over to tell her good morning.
And find an empty bed.
“Fuck,” I mumble, knowing it is not like Isla to get up before me, especially now that she’s pregnant. No, the fact that she’s not here probably means she didn’t sleep well. It probably means that she’s out with Poppy somewhere walking through the gardens, talking about what an arrogant dick I am.
Unless….
“Isla? Where are you?” I use the mind-link to reach out to her, hoping that she answers me. If she’s run off again, I swear to the Moon Goddess herself I’ll—
“I’m having breakfast,” she says. “Corinna invited me to dine with her. We’re in the small dining hall down the hallway from her room.”
I relax slightly, knowing she hasn’t left the castle. At least, I assume she’s not lying to me. I am pretty sure that Commander Pepelos would’ve caught her if she’d tried to sneak out anyway. That guy really seems to be on top of things. Something about him just lets me know that I can trust him.
“Are you still planning on leaving right away?” she asks me. Even through the mind-link, I can hear the tension in her voice.
I glance at the clock. It’s almost 8:30, which means I slept in for me. Especially on a day like today when I needed to leave before the sun came up to even make it back on time to accomplish what needed to be done that day.
“I’m not sure,” I tell her. I squeeze the bridge of my nose, sighing loudly. I think of all of the things I need to do, but I don’t want to go running off when clearly she is still bothered.
“Well, let me know,” she says. “I don’t want to keep fighting with you either, but you have to know that what you’re doing is really shitty, Maddox.”
Anger boils up inside of me for a second. I’m not used to anyone speaking to me that way. She is a subordinate, and she has no right to call me out for doing whatever the hell I want.
At the same time, she is the woman I love. I don’t want her to be hurting. So if she feels disrespected by the choices I have made, I really can’t get too bent out of shape about that.
“I understand your perspective,” I tell her. “I’m sorry that you feel that way. However, given the circumstances, I made the choice that I did, and this is the result. We will work through it.”
She is silent, and that makes me think that she is just stewing. After quite a long pause, she says, “I know I can’t change your mind, but if this doesn’t end up the way that you want it to, you have to accept responsibility.”
“I always accept responsibility for my actions,” I remind her. Rebecca’s face flashes before my eyes. Sometimes I accept responsibility for other people’s actions as well.
As I get up to shower, I use the mind-link to contact Commander Pepelos. Seth is too far away for me to access this way, so I have to speak to someone nearby who probably has already gotten an account of what has transpired on the battlefield that morning. I have left my cell phone that I decided not to destroy after last night’s issues with Seth so that he can report back here, a task I usually take on myself when I am present on the battlefield.
“How is the situation at the front?” I ask the commander as the hot water washes over me.
“Good morning, Alpha,” he says respectfully in my head. He is not one of those overly chipper morning people who often drive me insane, and I appreciate that. “I’m glad that you asked. I have some very good news.”
I steel myself for what he’s about to say. I had explained to my Beta before I left in such a rush to get here late last night that I did not want anything major to happen on the battlefront while I was away. Judging by Commander Pepelos’s words, that might not quite be what happened.
“What is it?” I ask him, bracing myself slightly against the shower wall.
“Alpha Geofrey surrendered this morning. He has been taken into custody by our forces, as has Luna Elaine. The other Alphas who took up sides with him are negotiating with Alpha Charlton and Alpha Jason right now. They know nothing will be official until you return to the front, but they want to get the details of their surrender negotiated. The other Alphas are asking to pay tribute money rather than to be taken prisoner.”
“Fuck,” I say aloud so that he cannot hear me. I leave for a few hours, and this happens? It’s as if Seth was completely unaware of the fact that I was trying to drag this war out for a lot longer period of time. Otherwise….
I can’t even finish the thought. It seems so selfish to keep fighting when we don’t need to because I don’t want to face the very thing I was mad at Isla about for dreading, but that’s the truth of the matter. I don’t want to have to deal with all of those women invading my castle, so I wanted this war to continue. If it’s over, I will be forced to return here as soon as negotiations are over and face the consequences of my agreement.
“Alpha? Are you there?” Commander Pepelos says in my head.
“Yes,” I say sternly. “All right. I will return to the front shortly to take part in the negotiations. Make sure that Beta Seth has Geofrey and Elaine returned here as quickly as possible. I don’t want anyone in Geofrey’s family or anyone that is loyal to him to take over that pack as Alpha so have military leaders go to help the people for now.”
Once again, I’d need to find another Alpha to replace a disloyal one. I needed to get a better grasp on the situation in my own pack where everyone thought it was okay to just do what they wanted, as if each pack was a sovereign entity. It was a carry-over from my father’s days as Alpha where wars waged quite a bit, but it wasn’t conducive to a stable kingdom, so I needed to get it under control.
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Commander Pepelos told me. “Also, Alpha Charlton called wanting to know when the Alphas can expect to be able to send their daughters to the castle.”
