Cut Too Deep, page 13
“I need a signature.”
The courier held out a small clip board and pointed to an X on the paper work. With his free hand, he offered a pen.
Hadley signed her name before glancing at the sender’s information—Genetti Industries.
A smile overtook her face. Hadley thanked her visitor.
The young man turned to leave, then stopped and turned around.
“Miss, are you all right?”
“I am now. Thank you.”
Hadley closed the door and heard vibrating from the phone on the coffee table.
Miller: Are you there? Have I upset you?
Upset her? He’d made her deliriously happy and she couldn’t wait to tell him so.
Hadley: I’m here. Sorry, but I had a delivery.
Miller: The courier was late. Have you opened it?
Hadley: Not yet. Thank you so much for the tickets to the ballet. I’ve always wanted to go.
Miller: You’ve never been?
Hadley: No. My parents could never afford to take me.
That knowledge made Miller’s plan to provide her with an unforgettable experience that much more pleasurable.
Miller: There’s more. Open the package.
Hadley opened the box while Miller waited impatiently for her response, hoping she liked her gifts.
Hadley withdrew the pale-grey chiffon gown from the box, admiring the bead work patterning the bodice, narrowing as the beads descended into single strands above the knee. She stood and held the strapless gown against her chest. It would fit her perfectly. She wondered how Miller knew her size. The gown had a sweetheart neckline and an A-line skirt that flowed elegantly to the floor. It was refined class and unlike anything she ever owned. She loved it. While admiring its beauty, her eyes fell on the label—Dolce and Gabbana. Hadley owned a collection of fashion magazines, full of designer clothing she could never afford. This dress cost a small fortune. She couldn’t accept it.
When Hadley went to return the gown to the box, another label caught her eye from the top of a shoe box—Fendi. These gifts were over the top, but admittedly, she felt like a princess. Curiosity would not allow her to ignore the shoe box. She draped the gown over the back of the couch, and lifted the shoes from the box, noticing they were also her size. Miller Genetti was apparently quite resourceful. The silver sandaled heels were exquisite. Hadley especially admired the thin ankle strap with a small silver buckle.
As much as Hadley loved the thought Miller put into the shoes and gown, she couldn’t accepts such expensive gifts. She noticed a remaining box nestled at the bottom of the package—this one velvet. Hadley removed it and ran her finger over the embossed letters that read, Preziosi Fine Italian Jewelry. When she opened it, the sparkling jewels took her breath away. The baguette platinum set diamonds swooped downward into a fringed tassel that resembled the beading from the gown. Included were a matching set of earrings.
Her sweaty hands trembled. The contents of her delivery surely cost more than everything Hadley owned. She imagined this must be what Cinderella felt like when the Fairy Godmother showed up to prepare her for the ball. Only this wasn’t a fairytale. Hadley didn’t have a Fairy Godmother with a magic wand to direct her life. In real life, Prince Charming didn’t exist. And, in her experience, men who gave gifts expected something unpleasant in return. Usually something Hadley didn’t want to give, but men took anyway.
Without hesitation Hadley replied.
Hadley: Thank you. Everything is beautiful and perfect, but I can’t accept such lavish gifts.
It was not the response Miller hoped for.
Miller: You most certainly can. Consider it a proper apology for my being a “pig” when I first wrote to you. I knew you needed something to wear, and I wanted to provide it for you.
Hadley felt her skin prickle. Her wardrobe was evidently not up to Mr. Genetti’s fine standards.
Hadley: It’s too much! You’ve already apologized properly, and I have a dress and shoes acceptable for your box seats at the ballet, if that’s what you’re worried about.
Miller: Do not insult me! I didn’t buy these things for you to uphold some public image!
The conclusions Hadley jumped to weren’t fair to Miller. She’d let her insecurities respond rudely, and for that, she felt the sting of regret.
Hadley: It wasn’t my intention to insult you. I’m sorry.
Miller didn’t respond immediately. Hadley worried her insult hurt him more than she realized. She typed another apology, but the phone vibrated before she finished.
Miller: It pains me that I cannot attend the ballet with you. Nothing here comforts me other than my thoughts of spoiling you with a day you’ll never forget. If you do not want to keep my gifts after the ballet, then by all means, give them to charity or whatever appeases you. I promise, there are no strings attached here. I gave you these things for me, not from me. Please, allow me this one bit of happiness in this most miserable place.
Miller’s sincere declaration made her heart melt. It also increased her guilt for assuming the worst in him. His spoiling her made him feel good. How could she deny him?
Hadley: Now I’m the one who’s humbled. Lessons in gratitude are difficult for me. I will accept your gifts, but promise me, nothing else, please. I already feel like Cinderella before the ball. I can never thank you enough.
Miller: You just did…now tell me how your first day as Creative Director went?
Hadley: For starters, you could have let me know you were related to my boss.
Miller: Ah, that? He’s married to my cousin.
Hadley: It would have been useful information to have. I may have avoided calling him an ass.
Miller: Why? I’ve told him he’s an ass before! I highly doubt his being my cousin would make him less of an ass.
Hadley had to laugh at that one.
Hadley: Nonetheless, I thought he was going to fire me.
Miller: I told you I wouldn’t share your thoughts. You didn’t trust me?
Hadley: I don’t know you well enough to trust you.
Miller: I have a new approach for you to try. Trust me, until I give you a reason not to.
Hadley: I’m not sure I can do that.
Miller: Why not?
Hadley: I’ve been on my own since I was 8 years old, and I’ve learned trust leads to disappointment.
Miller: Do you want to trust me?
Hadley: Yes.
Miller: Then I promise not to disappoint you.
Hadley: I’ll try.
Miller: Good, now tell me how the first day went?
Hadley: You mean after I accused your cousin of promoting me because of my relationship with you?
Miller: Did you? I bet that went over well. Let me assure you, your boss is not influenced by anyone, especially me. He quite enjoys ignoring me.
Hadley: Yes, well, it took him some time to convince me. I suppose I should still thank you for bringing me to his attention.
Miller: Your work speaks for itself from what I understand.
Hadley: I’m excited for the opportunity, but supervising people will be a challenge.
Miller: I’m sure you’ll be brilliant.
Hadley: Thank you. Are you coming home soon?
Miller: I can’t answer that yet.
Hadley: Miller what’s happening between us. What does it all mean when you do come home?
Miller: I like you a great deal. When I come home, I plan to spend a lot of time getting to know you.
Hadley: I’m not easy to get to know, and I’m a little terrified when you come home, you won’t want to. I’m afraid that I’m not going to live up to your expectations.
Miller: If we were in the same room right now, I’d place a gentle kiss on your forehead and tell you not to fear me. Then I’d hold your cheek in my hand before I kissed your lips softly. Close your eyes and hear me say the words. Accept my kiss and know without doubt you’ve already surpassed my expectations. Knowing that soon, I get to explore our connection, keeps me going day to day.
Without realizing it, her eyes closed. She heard his words, felt his lips. When her eyes fluttered open, she thought she might float away.
Hadley: The anticipation keeps me going too.
Miller: They’re here for the phone. I have to go. Sweet dreams, Love. M
Hadley: Nite.
Her other phone chirped, and she swiped the screen to read a text from Mac.
Mac: The G-man sent me an Armani tux for tomorrow. This is going to be EPIC!
Evidently, Mac felt a little like Cinderella, too. She shook her head and replied.
Hadley: Okay, Cinderella. Be here at 12:30 for the ball.
Mac: Oh, no…you my dear are Cinderella. Our friendship makes me Gus-Gus.
Hadley: A fat mouse?
Mac: If the slipper fits…haha…see what I did there?
Hadley: Yes, you’re very funny. C U tomorrow!
Mac: Can’t wait!!!
Thursday, Hadley tried to stay busy at work to distract her thoughts from Miller, but he was all she could think about. Knowing at eight o’clock that night she would have an hour with him made the minutes drag. At six, she clocked out and hurried home to take a shower and eat. By five minutes to eight, she sat on her couch, cell phone in hand.
At eight on the dot, Miller’s text arrived.
Miller: Good evening, Love.
Hadley: I guess it’s good morning to you.
Miller: It is now. :)
Throughout the day, Hadley thought of a million things she wanted to know about him, only now she wasn’t sure she did. She decided if she was going to continue whatever this was with him, she needed to be okay with asking him things, even things that embarrassed her.
Hadley: Can I ask you something?
Miller: Anything.
Hadley: How long have you known I was watching you?
Miller: Hmmm…how long have you been watching me?
Hadley: No, way. You first.
Miller: A guess…over a year. Now you’re turn.
Oh, man! He’s sure to think I’m a stalker now.
Hadley: The entire time I worked in the building.
Miller: And how long is that?
Hadley: Around 3 years.
Miller: I think it’s closer to 4.
Hadley remembered Mac saying Miller had asked their boss about her. Would he admit it?
Hadley: Okay, 3 and a half. How did you know?
Miller: I noticed you when you first started. It’s how I knew you took the stairs.
Hadley: But, you never talked to me. Why?
There were a few uncomfortable moments when Hadley was positive Miller wasn’t going to respond, tonight or any other, but finally the phone vibrated.
Miller: Why didn’t you talk to me?
Right! Hadley laughed and felt relieved they couldn’t see each other.
Hadley: Intimidated, I guess.
Miller: Likewise.
Hadley: Of me? Ha!
Miller: You don’t have an inkling of how beautiful you are, do you?
It was Hadley’s turn to put a pause in between their messages. Other than her mother, she never heard it from anyone, and she certainly didn’t believe it.
Hadley: It’s not something I think about.
Miller: I don’t like how insecure you are. I know it stems from a painful place, and maybe soon you’ll open up to me. I’ve watched you a fair share too, and here is what I see. An inner beauty that shines through you is most intriguing, but it’s guarded. Your smile lights up a room, but you don’t do it often enough. I’d very much like to change that. When you blush, your skin glows, and flawless skin it is. I’ve thought about running my fingers through your hair to know if it’s really as soft as silk. And, your ruby colored lips, well, I’ve had plenty of thoughts about them as well.
His word always warmed the most intimate parts of her.
Hadley: You date plenty of beautiful women. They don’t appear to intimidate you.
Miller: They’re easy to come by. Their beauty is as fake as their reasons for wanting to date me. You’re different. The connection we share is real. The only thing about you that’s fake is the giant stop sign you wear strapped to your chest. You want to explore your feelings, but you’re scared. You think I’ll hurt you. I hope with the miles that separate us, I can prove to you that I won’t.
Miller understood her so well. All her efforts to hide who she was were unsuccessful with him. He saw right through her.
Hadley: You’re different, too. I’ve never met someone I wanted to try with. You’re confident strength pulls me in, but scares me at the same time. The gentle, tender side of you when we write makes me forget I’m afraid. I think maybe you’ve had your heart broken. Am I right?
Miller: Yes, but, before you worry, I’m over her.
Hadley: If I’m being honest, it bothers me.
Miller: I appreciate your honesty, but it was a long time ago. She was the wrong girl for me.
Hadley: How do you know?
Miller: Because I wouldn’t change for her.
Hadley: Would you, for me?
Miller: Oh, Love. I already have.
Hadley took that in with a great deal of interest. Goose bumps ran up her arms. She was curious how he changed and felt brave enough to inquire.
Hadley: And how exactly would that be?
Miller: Now, that’s a conversation to have in person.
An uneasiness to share personal facts about your life, Hadley understood well. She decided not to push. Their time together was nearly over.
Hadley: It’s almost 9. I’m sad.
Miller: Don’t be sad. After we disconnect, close your eyes. See my face as our foreheads touch. Feel my breath caress your skin as we gaze into one another’s eyes. You’ll see sincerity in my eyes, and I’ll see a willingness to try in yours. When our lips meet, our kiss will fill you with promise. I have to go. Goodnight, Love. x M
She believed him that he wouldn’t hurt her. Hadley closed her eyes and the imaginary kiss did everything Miller said it would. She blushed, thinking about how he knew for over a year she was watching him. She’d obviously gotten sloppy, or maybe in this one instance, the universe helped her out.
Friday, work was much the same. Her texts with Miller that evening started out similar to the night before, sharing about building trust and opening up. Before long, though, the texts grew to more imaginary kisses and soft touches. Miller wrote as though he was in the room with her, and Hadley loved how his words made her feel. He didn’t push things into sexting territory as he knew she wasn’t ready, a gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by Hadley. She considered that could be what he meant when he wrote he’d already changed. Hadley went to bed that night with images of their shared kisses keeping her warm.
Hadley didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror wearing a designer gown. Her wavy brown hair was up with a few loose trundles. Diamonds rained down the neck of a sophisticated stranger. Hadley blinked several times. It wasn’t the gown, or the shoes, or the ridiculously expensive jewelry. It was the glow of her skin and the warm feeling inside of her for the man who arranged today especially for her.
I’m beautiful.
It was indeed a revelation for a woman who’d been bullied and teased relentlessly throughout her life for being dirty and poor, then for being orphaned, and, finally, because she’d been afraid to fight back. Hadley had never truly seen herself, let alone admired the woman she’d become.
The rather dapper looking MacElroy Walsh made his way up the stairwell at twelve-thirty. He adjusted the lapels of his jacket before tapping on his friend’s door. He knew Hadley would be dressed up, but didn’t expect her beauty to leave him breathless.
“You’re stunning.”
Hadley blushed.
“You look quite handsome yourself.”
Mac’s chest swelled.
“I do, don’t I.”
“And modest, too.”
Hadley moved aside, making room for Mac to enter her apartment. She picked up the phone she used to text Miller.
“Would you take a picture? I want to send it to Miller?”
“Sure, but that’s cruel.”
Hadley tilted her head. “How so?”
Mac pointed a finger at her. “Um, because you look hot, and he’s a guy, with only a hand to keep him company.”
Hadley grumbled and shot her friend an annoyed look. “Just take the picture!”
Mac laughed and snapped a couple of shots. “Do you have a printer? If not, I have one.”
“A printer for what?” she asked.
“The photo.” Hadley looked confused. “So you can print the picture to mail to the G-man.”
“Oh.” She almost slipped up and told Mac about the phone and texting Miller. “Yes, I have a printer.”
Hadley texted her favorite picture to Miller before the two friends exited Hadley’s apartment building and entered a waiting limousine. Hadley had never been in an expensive car, let alone a limousine. It smelled like leather and was nearly as large as her apartment. Mac busied himself by playing with various buttons before he discovered champagne in the fridge. He poured two glasses and handed one to his friend.
“Wow, I can get used to this.” Hadley smiled as Mac held his glass in the air. “Here’s to you dating the G-man for a very long time.”
“Mac!” Hadley was only slightly offended.
“I’m kidding. Here’s to friendship.”
They clinked glasses together and downed the champagne.
When the ballet opened, two friends sat together in the front row balcony. They watched a battle unfold into a timeless love story. Hadley both envied and appreciated the beauty and talent embodied by the dancers. She ached deep down inside, knowing it should be her on that stage. It hurt her deeply to admit dancing in the ballet represented an achievement she would never attain.
Mac noticed the pain radiating from his friend. Her desire to be one of the dancers on stage was evident by the sad expression painted across her features. She’d obviously given up her dream for reasons other than financial stability. A person with a passion such as hers would sacrifice anything to accomplish their dreams. They would live off dog food if they had too. He squeezed her hand and she smiled.
