Finding Peace, page 7
“I love that dress by the way,” Leah says. “Jeans weren’t right for you at all, were they? You look more comfortable today.”
“Thank you,” I murmur. They’re both talking so fast and I’m overwhelmed all of a sudden. Everyone seems to think Niko and I are a thing. And why wouldn’t they? We spend all of our free time together, usually alone in his cabin. When I’m not working, I’m with him. Of course, they all think I’m…
What do they think? My face heats to a thousand degrees. I need some space. I can’t face my friends and coworkers right now. “Uh, I need to… I’ll be right back.” I spin around and exit the kitchen, heading toward my cabin.
Maybe if I take a few minutes to collect myself, I’ll be able to return. Maybe I’ll slide into my seat in a while after everyone is settled and no one will notice. Or maybe I should not eat lunch at all. I’ll say I don’t feel well or something.
I’m rushing down the path so quickly with my head toward the ground, not paying attention to the world around me, which is why I slam right smack into a huge body.
Niko.
He grabs my biceps to steady me. “Brea? What’s the rush? Where are you going?”
I look at him and then back down. “I just need some space. Please.” I shake free of him and step around him, jogging now. When I reach the door to my cabin, I fumble in my pocket for my key, taking too long.
My hands are shaking as I finally attempt to put the key in the lock. Suddenly larger hands are on top of mine. Niko is surrounding me from behind. He gently takes the key from me and opens my door.
I can’t speak as he urges me to enter. I want to tell him to go away, but that’s not the kind of person I am. I’m too polite to be rude to him. He’s been nothing but kind to me. After all, I’m his pet project. That’s what I am. His pet. His kitten.
I purse my lips, fighting back tears that threaten to fall for no reason. I know I’m being irrational. I’m not a project of his. He just told me so not twenty minutes ago. It would probably be easier if I were. It would hurt less when he leaves.
He shuts my door and then hands land on my shoulders from behind. “Brea, talk to me.” His voice is so kind.
“Why are you so nice to me?” My voice lifts, shocking me. I’m not a confrontational person. I never raise my voice. Why would I do so with the first person I’ve known who cares enough about me to help me get my GED and find myself?
“Kitten, what’s going on? I need you to talk to me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s happening in that gorgeous head of yours.”
I lurch forward, yanking myself out of his grip and spinning around. “Maybe you should stop helping me. I can take it from here. I know what to do. I can do my studies and find a way to get my GED. I’ll be fine. I’m taking up too much of your time anyway. You’re probably behind schedule because you spend so much of your day helping me.”
“Brea? Sweet girl. My goodness. You’re very worked up. Did something happen?”
I shake my head, not meeting his gaze. I can’t. If I look into his eyes, I’ll lose my resolve and end up crying, probably in his lap. “Nothing happened. I’m just being realistic. I can’t be your Little. I don’t even know if I’m Little at all. What if I’m not? You should find someone who doesn’t need as much work as I do. Someone who’s sure she’s right for you.” I take a few steps back.
Niko doesn’t follow but he does set his hands on his hips and sighs. I can see that much without lifting my gaze. “Is this because I told you I live in Seattle, kitten? Did that freak you out? I didn’t mean to make you think I intend to leave you. I don’t. I told you you’re mine. I know that deep in my heart. I don’t have all the answers, kitten, but we’ll figure it out.”
I shake my head. “I think it would be better if we stop spending so much time together. Easier. Don’t you?” I take another step backward. If I could just turn and run into my room, I could shut and lock the door, shut out the world. Burrow under my covers and cry until I purge myself of Niko.
Niko eases farther into my cabin and lowers himself into the armchair. He leans back and meets my gaze. “Come here, Little one.”
Chapter 8
Niko
* * *
My girl is spooked. I have no idea what has upset her, but she’s wringing her fingers and shuffling her feet. I know she’s seconds from bolting into her bedroom.
I don’t want to make things worse, so I’ve decided to sit and ask her to come to me. She hasn’t complied yet. She’s staring at me, lips pursed, every inch of her fidgeting. “I don’t want to,” she whispers, lowering her gaze.
Even though I’m concerned about what’s upsetting her, I smile because I’m glad she’s starting to make choices for herself. I like this defiance. I want her to be able to say no to people, especially me. Not that I’d permit her to get away with being contrary in the long run, but right now she needs to learn that she’s not required to always do what someone tells her. And never when it would hurt her.
“Okay. Can you tell me why?”
She licks her lips. “Because when you touch me, I fall under your Daddy spell and can’t think.”
I chuckle. “I have a Daddy spell?”
She nods. “Yes, Sir.”
“Maybe you need some of that Daddy spell then. If you’re feeling anxious about something, maybe I can help.”
She shakes her head. “It’s a bad idea.” She sniffles and reaches up to swipe at tears that are falling. It breaks my heart.
I need to stay where I am and let her come to me. I must. “Brea, let Daddy help you.”
She sucks back a sob. “You don’t understand.”
“Explain it to me, Little one.” I keep my voice calm. Inside I’m a tornado, worried out of my mind.
She swallows. “I have a silly crush on you. It’s dumb. I shouldn’t have let myself get so invested. Every day I spend with you makes it worse.”
My heart is racing. I lean forward, putting my elbows on my knees. “I’m glad you have a crush on me, Brea. It’s not silly. I’d be disappointed if you didn’t feel that way about me. I’d be equally sad if you weren’t as invested as I am. If by worse you mean you feel stronger toward me every day, I’m glad about that too.”
She sniffles again. “You can’t possibly mean to stay though, and I’ll be very sad when you leave.”
“I’m not leaving you, kitten. Not ever. I don’t have all the answers about how we’re going to work out the future, but I intend to be with you no matter what we decide.”
She flinches, her gaze lifting. “You can’t know that. We’ve only known each other for two weeks.”
I smile. “I knew you were mine from the first moment I set eyes on you, Brea. I knew when you glanced at me from across the pool that first afternoon. I didn’t want to scare you by telling you too soon, but you’re my Little girl. I don’t care how long it takes for you to feel the same about me. I can wait weeks or months. Whatever you need. But I’ll be wherever you are while we work through this together.”
“I’m too much work,” she insists. “You’ll get tired of helping me.”
“Never. Not in a million years.” I’m emphatic. Please come to me, kitten. I need to hold her. I rub my palms together, willing her to take a step in my direction.
She shakes her head defiantly.
I need a new tactic. Perhaps she needs me to pick up my Daddy game. It’s worth a try. “Do you think Daddy is lying?”
She gasps. “No, Sir,” she murmurs.
“You’re being awfully willful, Little one. Do you need me to discipline you so you’ll know how much I care?” It’s a gamble, but it’s worth a try.
She blinks several times and takes a while to respond, doing so by nodding slowly.
I hold out a hand. “Come here, kitten,” I demand. I’m no longer making a request. I’m making a demand.
Finally, she shuffles forward until she’s close enough for me to reach. I take her hand and pull her between my legs. I set my palms on her hips. “Look at me, Brea.”
She lifts her gaze to meet mine.
“I’m extremely patient. You can challenge me every day, but I won’t change my mind. You’ll still be my Little girl. That’s how it works. Daddies don’t change their minds. No matter how many doubts you have, I’ll still be here to remind you I care.”
“You won’t though. Eventually, you’ll go home to Seattle, and I’ll be sad,” she whispers, so much defiance in her small voice. It’s a first for her. It won’t be the last time. I’m certain of it. I’m also glad. She’s finding her spunk. It’s healthy. If she were angelic all the time, I’d be concerned. She’s entitled to her own opinions, but she might find herself over my knee if she exercises some of them.
“I won’t go to Seattle without you. I promise.”
“But I don’t want to go to Seattle, Sir. I like it here. It’s the first place I’ve felt accepted. I have a job and friends here. I don’t like the city. It’s big and loud and scary.”
We certainly do have a problem. I hadn’t realized she felt so strongly about Blossom Ridge. “I don’t have all the answers, kitten, but we will figure things out together, okay? All we can do is take things one day at a time.”
She swipes at the tears slowly running down her face with the backs of her hands. “Every day I will fall harder for you, and eventually you’ll go home, and it will hurt. You said you have a job there.”
“I do. I manage a philanthropy, but it doesn’t require my constant involvement. I’ve been overseeing things from here just fine. I have plenty of staff doing the work.” I haven’t told her it’s a women’s shelter. I could, but now doesn’t feel like the time to go into details.
My heart is twisted in knots. She’s really scared. And her feelings are legitimate. I’m concerned now too. It’s true that I love my home and I spent several years turning it into a paradise, but this sweet girl in front of me has quickly become my life. She already holds a higher priority than anything material ever could.
I slide my hands up her arms and hold her biceps. “I need you to trust me, Brea. Trust Daddy to make the right decisions, whatever they may be. For now, I’m here at Blossom Ridge. I’m in no hurry to leave, and I would never do so without you. Not even for a night.”
It suddenly occurs to me that I’m done with letting her sleep in the cabin next to me. She’s mine, and I’m no longer going to be able to tolerate the separation.
I’ve been working on the spare bedroom in my cabin for several days. It’s ready for her. Starting tonight, I need her to be in my cabin where I can hear her and comfort her if she wakes up in the night.
First things first though. “I think you need a few swats to your bottom, Little one, to remind you Daddy’s serious.”
Her cheeks pinken, but she doesn’t argue.
I think she’s ready. I’ve seen her watching Leah and Amy get spanked with a mixture of envy and curiosity. It’s time.
I guide her around my knee so she’s standing to one side of me. “I’m not going to pull your pants down this first time, Brea, but in the future, I will. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir,” she whispers. Already she’s calmer, so I know I’m doing the right thing.
“Do you understand why Daddy is going to spank you?”
She licks her lips. “Because I doubted you, Sir.”
“That’s right. Sometimes Little girls need to be disciplined so they know their Daddies care and won’t let them get all worked up over unwarranted negative thoughts.”
“Yes, Sir,” she murmurs.
“I’m going to take you over my knee and swat your bottom ten times and then your punishment will be over and I’ll hold you in my lap until you feel better.” I wait for her to nod before guiding her to lean over my knees.
She’s trembling as I get her situated, her arms tucked under her chest, her hands fisted alongside her breasts.
I push her dress up to her waist so I can spank her through just two layers of clothing—her leggings and her panties. I palm her bottom to get her used to the feel of my hand. She’s so small that my hand nearly covers every inch of her.
I wish I could pull her pants down to her thighs. I’d love to watch my work as I pinken her bottom, but she’s not ready for that. It could be a while before she’s able to let me see her naked.
My life has become an exercise in patience. I’m going to need a lot of it to ensure I don’t rush my Little girl. I want everything from her. I want to guide her and discipline her, but I also want to hold her naked in my arms and make sweet love to her when she’s ready.
“Ten swats, kitten. Ready?”
“Yes, Sir,” she whispers in a very small voice.
“Good girl. Count them in your head.” I lift my palm and spank her right in the middle, including both cheeks. The first swat is hardly more than a love pat, but it’s enough to make her flinch. Not surprising. She has no idea what to expect.
The next spank lands on the left cheek, slightly harder. I do the same on the right before she can react.
She tenses, but she doesn’t try to squirm out of my grip. That’s a good sign. Not everyone likes to be spanked. Some people can’t tolerate it. Brea is holding her own so far.
I watch her closely. Her eyes are squeezed shut and her lips are pursed, but luckily I can see this because she’s facing toward me. “You okay, Little one? May I continue?”
“Yes, Sir,” she squeaks adorably.
I palm her bottom before landing three more swats, one to each cheek and one lower and centered. She gasps delightfully on that last one. In fact, her lips part when I do it again.
Now, I kind of wish I hadn’t limited myself to ten swats. I only have three left, and I need to make sure they have an impact because I can’t renege on my decision in the middle of spanking my Little girl.
I decide to go for the most vulnerable location, keeping the next two lower, one on each cheek where her bottom meets her thighs. The last one I land harder than the first nine right in the center again.
Brea is panting when I finish, and I rub her bottom for several seconds before gently lifting her to settle her on my lap. I palm the back of her head and guide her to settle her cheek against my shoulder.
She sniffles. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”
“I know you are, Little one. It’s all better now. All forgiven. Once Daddy finishes disciplining you, the slate is clean.” I rub her back. “How do you feel?”
She wiggles on my thighs. “My butt hurts.”
I chuckle. “Your bottom is supposed to hurt. It wouldn’t be a good punishment if it didn’t.”
She snuggles into me, making my heart warm, but also making my cock stiff as her thigh keeps brushing against my shaft. Eventually, I grip her hip. “Sit still, kitten. Stop squirming.”
“Sorry.” She wraps her arms around my neck and nuzzles me with her face. It feels so good to have her close to me like this again. I’ve forced myself to keep her at arm’s length for too many days. That may have contributed to her doubts. I’m done holding back my affection. Just like I’m done letting her sleep next door.
Now might not be the time to tell her though.
I rub her back, threading my fingers in her hair and dragging my hand through the soft strands until she purrs.
Eventually, she lifts her face from the crook of my neck and meets my gaze. Her gaze trails down to my lips, and she stares at them.
I suck in a breath. We haven’t kissed yet. Is now the right time?
When she licks her perfect lips again, I decide it is. “Would you like Daddy to kiss you, Little one?”
“Yes, Sir.” She shifts her attention to my eyes. “But I’ll probably do it wrong.”
I smile. “There’s no such thing as wrong, Brea. Nothing you do will ever be wrong. Kissing and every other aspect of sex is something you just follow your instincts about. Do whatever feels right. You’ll find out what you enjoy and do more of that. You’ll find out what you don’t care for and eliminate that aspect.”
“Okay.”
I slide my hand up her back and cup the back of her head, guiding her face toward mine.
If there had been even a single shred of doubt where my intentions were concerning Brea Hopson, they would have disappeared the instant her lips touch mine.
I become putty in her hands when her soft mouth makes contact with mine. She slides her palms to my cheeks at the same time, petting me as she tentatively kisses me.
I let her control the contact at first, enjoying the sweet innocence of her little pecks and nibbles. My heart melts. She’s mine. She was always mine, but damn.
When I lick the seam of her lips, she parts for me, her tongue darting out to touch mine ever so slightly. Every second of this kiss is precious. I want to commit it to memory.
God, I hope I’m doing the right thing. I’ve longed to kiss Brea from the moment I first met her. That longing has done nothing but grow over the days. Finally, I’ve tasted her. Unable to resist, I angle my head to the side and deepen the kiss, loving the way she moans into my mouth.
I’ll never get enough of her. Not in a million years.
When she grows more comfortable with the sweet kisses, I finally slide my tongue into her mouth, tasting her, stroking her tongue with mine, swallowing the soft, satisfied whimpers.
I wish I could kiss her for hours, but we need oxygen, so I reluctantly ease back, leaving us both panting.
A slow smile spreads across her face until she’s grinning from ear to ear. “I like kissing.”
I return the smile. “Thank goodness because I like kissing too.”
Her precious cheeks pinken. “Can we do that again sometime?”
“We can do that again all the time, kitten. I will never turn down your kisses.” I cup the back of her neck and massage the muscles there. I hate to break the spell, but I need my girl to eat. “We need to go to lunch, Little one.” I give her lips another peck. “Everyone has probably already eaten. I don’t want Amy to wait too long for us.”
Brea sits taller nodding. “Oh. I lost track of time. I hope she’s not mad.”
