Worth The Risk: A Silverthorne Is For Lovers Novel, page 12
“Morning, darlin’. Are you feeling better?” A blush that I love stains her cheeks.
“Good morning. I am. My head feels back to normal weight and size. Are you cooking?” She sounds confused.
“Yes. I thought you may be hungry. How are you feeling?”
“I’m good, much better than last night.” She peers around me to the waffle iron on the counter and stovetop. “What are you making?”
“I hope you still like waffles. You used to help my mom make them for us on weekends.” I flip two onto a new plate and top them with chopped strawberries then put a couple pieces of bacon beside them. I hold it out to her but notice she’s staring at me, specifically my bare torso. I grin. She’s looked at me like this more than once but having her look at me and see the heat in her eyes doesn’t ever get old.
“Winnie? Do you still like waffles?” I stare at her and she has a sweet dreamy look on her face. My grin widens as she shakes her head a little.
“Oh uh, yeah, this looks great. Thanks.” She’s blushing and I can’t help but tease her.
“My eyes are up here, Parker.” She snaps her head up and meets my gaze, the pink spots on her facing deepening to a light red. I lift my eyebrows and hold out the plate again. She takes it and sits at the round dining table. She turns her attention to the bacon on her plate and takes a bite. I may not be a chef but I would cook for Winnie every morning if she would let me. Thinking about having mornings like this reminds me of why I came here last night. I’m thinking about how to bring it up when she clears her throat again.
“You know, you didn’t have to stay the night, I would have been fine. I called Mare earlier in the day and was following doctors orders…but thank you for taking care of me. It was really sweet of you.” She’s frazzled this morning, I love listening to her ramble when she’s nervous, it’s adorable so I mess with her again.
“I didn’t mind. It was a very eye opening night.” I wink and she chokes a little, coughing.
“What do you mean eye opening?” I grab a glass from the cabinet I found them in last night and get the orange juice out of the fridge to pour her a glass before answering.
“You talked in your sleep, said some really interesting things…”
“No, I didn’t! Did I?” She looks way more worried than I would have thought and that makes me incredibly curious. What could she possibly think she said? “What did you hear? I was in a lot of pain last night, so I doubt it was even coherent.”
“Mmm …I don’t know, Winnie. Sounded like you’d been thinking about these things for awhile.” I smirk and she loses it.
“Barrett Holloway, tell me what I said right now.”
“Easy, Win.” I’m chuckling at her stern approach. “Take a breath. You didn’t say anything I didn’t already know.” Her eyes flash.
“…and that would be?…”
“You only said that you think I’m the hottest man you have ever laid eyes on, that you were hopelessly in love with me, I was actually at the top of your Fantasy Hockey Player list and something about wishing you could have my babies…I think there was more, let me think for a second.” A towel hits me in the face and I laugh.
“That isn’t funny, you idiot!” She’s laughing too, but the relief is evident.
“Sure it was. As much as I would have enjoyed you saying those things… you didn’t, but you did ask me to stay…and some other things that I couldn’t make sense of, something about having to move…?” Her face is now tomato red. I have no idea why it would be, but I really want to know. “What are you hiding from me? What did you really think you said?”
“Nothing....like you said, nothing you didn’t already know.”
I sit in the chair next to her and put my hand on her forehead. “Your color looks better now, so that’s a good sign.” I want to slide my hand to her cheek. She’s too beautiful for words.
“I’m fine now. I think the worst has passed. Thank you again for staying…and for breakfast, but you can get going if you have other things to do today.”
“Are you kicking me out the morning after, Winnie? Is that how it is?”
“No! Not that…no. I…I’m not. We didn't…That’s not even…” She takes a deep breath.
“You are so adorable when you’re flustered, Winnie Parker.” She winces a little but tries to hide it by looking away. Maybe I’ve read this whole thing wrong and I’m making her uncomfortable, but she doesn’t look uncomfortable. She looks mad.
“What’s wrong? What did I say?”
“Nothing. It’s just that’s the word you used when you told me you didn't want to see me a couple years ago.” She stands and takes her plate to the kitchen counter. I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I’ve called her adorable many times before, but I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to see her. I’d give anything to understand what just happened. Anything to go back to a few minutes ago when we were laughing in her kitchen together.
“When did I say—”
“It’s fine.” She cuts me off and gives me her fake smile, but looks like she may be about to cry. What the hell did I say? “It’s really fine, Rhett. Thank you for coming to check on me last night and staying to help me out. You’re a good friend.” Friend. That is not a strong enough word I want to use for her anymore and I’m about to tell her that but she continues before I can. “I’m sorry I asked you to stay.” Her eyes are filled with unshed tears and it’s killing me. “I should probably get ready and head to the bakery since I left early yesterday and I need to start getting things ready for a few special orders we have coming next week.” She sniffs and moves to the entry so I have no choice but to follow her. I grab my shirt on the way and slip it over my head.
“Hang on for just a minute. I’m not sorry you asked me to stay. I wanted to be here and take care if you. What’s got you so upset? Winnie, talk to me.” She swipes at her beautiful face and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
“God, I’m so embarrassed. It was a long time ago. I should be over it. I guess it just hurt because I wasn’t over you then and you— well you were moving on all over the place.” She trails off and I am confused…she opens the front door and I shut it again.
“Rhett. Please don’t make this a thing. I’m fine. I think I’m just tired because I was sick last night.”
“I’m not going to leave here with you like this.” I move to pull her to me but she puts her hands up. “I’m sorry for whatever I said or did that’s upset you. How can I fix this?”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. It’s my fault I’m upset. I should be passed this…”
“Passed what, darlin’? You’ve lost me.”
“Enough with the darlin’, Rhett. We left all that behind eight years ago and I don’t even know why I’m upset. I’m not offering you anything.” She’s rambling but I’m pretty sure I’m following now and I need to let her know that she’s got it all wrong.
“Do you know how I feel about you, Winnie?”
“Why are you making me say this, Rhett?” Tears are flowing freely now. She has no idea. No idea that I’ve been forcing myself to hold back. That I’ve had to fight every instinct in my body to grab her and kiss her so many times over the years I’ve lost count.
“I want to know what you think I feel about you.”
“I’m a memory, Rhett. Maybe a good one, but just a memory.”
“Is that really all you think I feel for you, Winnie? That you’re just something from my past?”
“I know it is.” What? That stops me.
“When? When did I ever say that to you?” I know that I didn’t, because it would have been a lie and I’ve never lied to her.
“When I went to see you!” Her shouting stuns me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this angry. She blows out a breath, trying to calm down… “…about two years ago after you got hurt at a game.” I think back, wracking my brain trying to remember which game she’s talking about. Two years ago…that was here in Colorado. I had gotten tossed into the boards and ended up with a dislocated shoulder, but she wasn’t there. No one had been there because Hazel was being born, it had taken mom six hours to get there, insisting she needed to be there. “I…I went to the game. Alone. I was going to ask you to give us another chance, tell you that I had missed you.” Her voice is low now, so quiet I’m straining to hear her. She had come? “You ended up at the hospital.” She looks like she’s in pain just talking about this, her lip is quivering and the sight is breaking me. “I didn’t want to go in but I was worried about you.” She swallows. “So I went in and just sat in the waiting room.” I know how hard that must have been for her. Her anxiety around hospitals was still bad and she had been there alone. I cringe. Why wouldn’t she tell me she was there?
“You were there? I didn’t know. Why were you there? Why didn’t you come see me? I would have made sure you stayed with me.” She gives me an incredulous look.
“I tried to.” Now she’s angry again. “I texted you, remember?” No, she didn’t.
“No, you didn’t. I would remember that, Winnie.”
“Yes. I did. I remember the exchange vividly.”
“I did not get a message from you that night.” She looks at me with rage now.
“That’s enough, Rhett. Why are you being like this?” She huffs, indignantly and takes off for her bedroom. I’m afraid she’s going to lock me out but when I reach the door she’s walking towards me with her phone in her hand, scrolling.
“What are you doing, Winnie?” She stares at her phone and starts reciting lie after lie.
“Let me refresh your memory since I guess you’ve taken too many hits to head out on the ice. You said you didn’t need me there, you already had someone to take care of you and as adorable as it was that I followed you around like a puppy, I really needed to move on. Then you finished with the big finale, ‘We had fun, but that’s all it was, Winnie. Sorry.’” She looks up at me then. “I still have the messages on my phone as embarrassing as that is.”
“Let me see them.”
“Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack. I didn’t text you that night.” She hands her phone to me and I’m not quite understanding until I reread the part about someone taking care of me.
Ah. Lacey. Lacey had been there with me. I wince. Lacey and I had a very brief, very superficial relationship. We weren’t even together at that time but she had insisted on coming to see me at the hospital.
“I was so mortified, so I waited for your mom to get there and went home.”
“Winnie. I didn’t say those things.”
“What? Would you stop? You know you sent them and I have the messages right there on my phone.”
“It wasn’t me though. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. It was an ex of mine. She showed up at the hospital and tried to get back together with me. She asked to use my phone while she was there and I didn’t think anything of it. I never got your message, Winnie. I would have…” She holds her hands up.
“You don’t have to do that, Rhett. In fact I would really prefer you didn’t. I’m a big girl and it was a long time ago and it’s not your fault that I had some idea in my head and expected you to reciprocate.”
“But I would have. I did.” She opens her mouth but I keep going. “I wasn’t over you, Winnie. I don’t think I’ll ever be over you.”
“Please don’t say things like that to me…It isn’t fair. Not to either of us.”
“It’s the truth. I have wanted you for as long as I can remember and I don’t want to hide that anymore.” She looks shocked, but I keep going. “That’s why I came here last night. I was going to ask you for a second chance, as a grown man and not a boy who wouldn’t fight for you or too worried about what his friend would think, but then you were sick and I just wanted to take care of you and this isn’t how I wanted to do this.” I take a deep breath before continuing. “I wanted to sweep you off your feet. Show you that I can be someone worthy.”
“Worthy? Of what? What are you saying exactly?”
“I’m saying that I want you, Winnie.” She doesn’t look convinced. “Come here,” I say as softly as I can.
“Why?” I answer by reaching over and gripping the waistband of her shorts, yanking her into me. She gasps and her hands fly up to catch herself against my chest. Her eyes are wide as she looks into mine. I’m not sure what she sees there but I hope it’s something she wants. I lean down and skim my nose up the side of her face to her hair where I take a deep inhale of her vanilla scent. I’ve missed this.
“What are you doing?” she whispers.
“What I’ve wanted to do since that door hit you in the face the night I got back to town.” I see her throat work so I search her face and give her this one chance to pull away, before I gently grip the sides of her neck and bring her mouth to mine.
Rhett is kissing me. Rhett is kissing me and I can’t breathe. He’s kissing me and I think this may be bad for me later, but right now I’m going to enjoy the ride. I kiss him back and he groans into my mouth, deepening the kiss. I can taste his coffee from this morning and feel a hand sliding into my still damp hair, the other one going to the small of my back and pulling me tighter against him. I let out a sigh and he pulls back to look at me. He’s smiling.
“My memory was severely lacking…” He places another light kiss to my lips.
“Have you thought about kissing me often?”
“Only every day since I turned seventeen.” I roll my eyes at that.
“Be real, Holloway. It took everything in my arsenal to get you to even look at me back then.”
“It seems you’re under the impression that the first time I kissed you was the first time I wanted to.”
“Well isn’t it?”
“Absolutely not.”
“So the night you kissed me when we went camping wasn’t the first time you wanted to?”
“Not even close. By that time I had wanted to kiss you for years. That was just the first time I let myself be selfish.”
“Years? I don’t believe that. If you had wanted to kiss me before, I know I gave you every opportunity.”
“Oh I remember. It felt like you were torturing me.” he says as he kisses a line from my jaw to my ear.
“Torturing you? You wouldn’t even look at me!” I remember trying to get his attention, thinking all it would take to turn his head was a short sundress or sunbathing in his yard. He stops his kissing to look at my face. There’s a glint in his green eyes.
“I couldn’t look at you, Winnie. Colt was always right there beside me and if he even caught a whiff of what I wanted to do with you, he would have killed me.”
“I had no idea you felt that way about me back then.”
“I’ve been thinking about you like this—” he breaks off and brings his lips to mine again, making me feel boneless. “—since your seventeenth birthday, Darlin’. Since you decided to torture me in that tiny orange bikini that made it impossible to look at you without everyone else knowing exactly what I was thinking about.” No way he remembered that bikini. My jaw hangs and a laughter bubbles out of it.
“But that was five years before the summer you kissed me by the lake!”
“Mm, my favorite summer.”
“Mine, too.” I think about not telling him the truth, but I feel like being brave when I’m in his arms like this. “I thought about asking you to forget about our agreement.”
“I wanted to ask you to come with me.” That surprises me, I take a second to decide if I want to know but the words are out before I can make the decision.
“Why didn’t you?” He looks up and his brows pinch before meeting my eyes again.
“You seemed so set on cutting things off. I didn’t want to put myself out there first. If I could go back now, I would ask you. I can’t go back and change anything, but I can do things differently now.” I nod, he kisses my forehead then releases me but grabs my hand to pull me through the house to the front door where his shoes are. I already miss his warmth when he bends down to slip his sneakers on. “I do have to go next door for a while though. I’m meeting Alder and Knox. The rest of my furniture is being delivered today and then I will officially be moving in next door. You know, I didn’t buy the house because of it’s vicinity to you, but it was a big selling point.”
“You knew I lived here before you bought it?”
“My family may have mentioned it the day I signed the papers, the same day you decided to give me a sneak peek in the window.” He winks and I laugh loudly at that.
“I didn’t know anyone was in the house and what were you doing staring into my window?”
“I wasn’t staring into your window, I glanced in your houses direction.”
“So, basically you’re stalking me?” I tease.
“Yep. And I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.” He grabs my face with both hands and kisses my lips in three quick pecks. “Can I see you tonight?”
“Yes.” I answer a little too quickly but I can’t find it in me to care. He wants me.
“Great. I’ll pick us something up for dinner from Knox’s?”
“That sounds great. I’m going to go to the bakery for a few hours. I have some orders to catch up on and getting things ready for next week.”
“If you need any help, I’m there.” That makes me smile. He’s always showing up for me.
“I should be able to handle it all myself, but thank you.”
“As long as you know you don’t have to handle it on your own.”
“I do and I appreciate the offer. Really.”
“Oh, I have plenty of offers for you, darlin’. I’m hoping you’ll take me up on a few of them.” I smile at that and stretch up onto my toes to kiss him. He kisses me back, gripping my hips tightly before letting go. “I’ll see you later.”
